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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/11/2009 12:15:29 PM | I quit gambling years ago. I'm like rainman until the end of the evening.
But, that's when it counts. Then I'm always all in.
I can only gamble for other people...once I lay money on something, my lucky streak ends...
The stupidest thing that a woman ever told me was that she didn't
want a guy that she had to take care of. No woman is that hot.
I was just talking to one of my coworkers the other day about this very subject. I have to love someone, then taking care of him doesn't seem like that at all, just loving him back...if I don't love him, resentment sets in...
One exception, the toilet. I can love you to pieces, if you don't hit the toilet and my bathroom smells bad, I get irked...just ask my adored grandsons...
I think it might be the same for both sexes...just like being bold, if he/she likes you, it's charming. If they don't, you're rude or a stalker...I guess a person just has to pay attention to conversational clues and body language...
cosmic stacker
playing cosmic stacker
I'm a slacker, slacker, slacker
I like the ice in Pisces
cause it's nice
The music's sort of dippy
cause it's trippy, trippy, trippy
I take another sippy
of my blackberry merlot
oh no, no, no
here come those fvckin rings
gotta quickly stack those things
before I lose
I just read some reviews
that gaming might help fuse
the connections in my brain
so, it's not a sin, amen
and I'm playing it again, again, again
I was up till 5:30 playing that game.... My last real boyfriend turned me on to arcade games, I should go kick him in the butt...unless my brain still works when I'm ninety...
oops, sorry Brawn...didn't pay attention to the posting numbers... | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/11/2009 4:16:12 PM | hahahahaha I'm good as long as you ain't wearin' one of those
skorts again. Now those things are a total tease.
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/11/2009 5:52:33 PM | | I don't usually wear skorts...the black outfit in my profile is a flippy eighties skirt (if that's what you're talking about), and I had to be careful all night about how I sat...you know, I used to wear stuff like that too, and now I don't know how I did it without showing my undies... | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:58:58 AM | Sharon Stone had a great idea about how not to show undies. LOL
I'd never heard of a skort until my stepdaughter started going to school.
I thought ex was kiddin and had made the word up. hahahaha
quiet night at the dogpound
the back tv is the only sound
which is actually kinda irritating
mind shuttin that off for me?
I've half a mind to go skinny dippin
nothin like the feeling of freedom
but I'm too lazy to drop these boxers
plus I already smell like flowers
lol
half a mind is a terrible thing to waste
I've gotta write a song for ex according to P
s'posed to be part of my therapy
I just can't seem to get rolling
at least nothin that ain't sans clothing
she has the smoothest skin that I've ever caressed
and that cucumber/melon sure passes the test
I can smell her just thinking about her
makes me wanna play naughty butler
hard to keep the scales even with a lust that strong
a woman gets to thinkin you just want sex before long
but that's only half of the real deal
sometimes it's nice just to share a meal
You can imagine it takes quite a sense of humor
to last any time at all bein my lover
and it doesn't hurt none to be beautiful
I'm a sucker for an eyefull
try gettin in touch with your feminine side with an erection
it would pretty much require a direct estrogen injection
love at first sight ain't for sissies
you gotta take one hell of a beating
but I'm one of the idiots that believes that pain don't hurt
I'll touch it again even if I do get burnt
I'm all about not learning from history
when it comes to princess massaging
and it's difficult when a woman knows you're good with words
what's said exactly may not be exactly what's heard
I gotta try real hard to keep a leash on that
I believe the term would be "no bullshyt"
I'm sure it's not easy for her either
gettin backrubs all the time's prolly a bother
my touch actually lowers her blood pressure
that's a lot of heart to pump into a girl
here's one of my fave buffet lines:
"and if it doesn't work out
there'll never be any doubt
that the pleasure was worth all the pain"
and that's what I did on my summer vacation.. lol
that should satisfy my shrink.. now somethin for the blonde silky 
I say and do many stupid things
your pheremones do that to me
I saw you walk by and went and stole you
and you know this story is true
I watched your eyes glaze the first time that I kissed you
my hand in your hair felt supernatural
and the way you kissed me back has never left my lips
I still love giving you pleasure with just my fingertips
how many women get full body massages for foreplay?
nearly every single day
I've named the nerve endings between your toes
there's not a nerve in your body that I don't know
all women do not get that type of special treatment
most have to buy it from harlequin
listen to yourself relax when I rub your eyebrows
and yet I forget to tell you that you're beautiful | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:49:04 PM | is a man that's not an animal.. a vegetable or a mineral?
That's my query of the day. lol
and what's up with vegetarians?
I can understand if it's a religious issue or somethin..
my religion worships cows 'cause they taste good
and we only worship naturally over charcoal or wood
and we'll give a rib to anyone
there's no sexual discrimination
not like back in those old testement days
when men were all pigs and didn't share with the ladies
We all dance around drinkin sacramental Ritas
the women swayin their hips to the tune of their noses
that smokey beef smell gets all the spirituality flowin
and if you want well done you have to remove one clothin
(I mention we worship by the pool?)
We are the House of the Holy Angus.
the biggest sin is eatin tofu amoung us
and we'd never nail our god up on a stick
we shove a rod right through 'em and call it a spit
and we're not really too picky if a beef ain't available
porks also smell all religous-like when spun on the fire
I'd be scared if I was a poultry too
one of our holidays is "lets cook it if it moves" | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:06:51 PM |
is a man that's not an animal.. a vegetable or a mineral?
That's my query of the day. lol
I don't think it really matters, B, in that case. Word(s) of the day in said instance would be, just plain useless.
We are the House of the Holy Angus
Considering that where I work,
Has that part in its name,
Is it any wonder really,
That I ended up in this same game?
I don't apologize for being a carnivore,
But maybe occasionally lament the fate?
Of my dinner, since, considering....
If it didn't have parents, it probably wouldn't have ended up
On my plate. 
Edit: Dayum! My rhyming's more than a lil rusty! Ack! | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:49:30 AM | hahahaha  We can fix that, darlin.
Email me sometime when you've got the night off and
aren't doing anything.. we'll go play speed terse on rory's thread
for a couple pages. You'll be cat in the hatting at work the next day.
You've just forgotten that all words haven't been invented yet.
and it's always fastest to build a terse sans spellcheck..
you can snoozle your snoodle while cleansing your dewchew
pyss yourself laughing and blaim your french poodle
I actually had something in my head that I wanted to put down before
I read Sweetness. Lost it completely, now. Anyone else ever do that?
I don't even have a clue what the subject was. Totally distracted me.
I've got DABS. dog and a butterfly syndrome.. yanno it?
Think I can get disability?
oh well, it couldn't have been anything too important
I was prolly just gonna write another letter to the president
I haven't gotten a response yet to my thoughts on "the trickle up theory"
And I do grant that he did inherit a bunch of bullshyt mostly
you want to know what's funny?
trailer parks are what held their value where it's sunny
it's a complicated situation
things become exponetialed up real fast with inflation
here's a quick economy lessen for the short bus folk
so, the farmer's got one pig in the poke
because an oil baron let the price shoot up
and there were no big bad wolves left to eat the baron
so, the farmers started turning pig feed into gasoline
which means it costs more to fatten farmers piggy for the marky
that's called the inflation thing
and here's a lil "stimulus program my ass" while I'm at it
you taxed my generic cigs from 16 to 37 bucks for what?
so I can't afford cigarettes or pork?
You know that it's mostly coal miners, ditch diggers and painters who smoke?
you look at us as if we're a joke?
that just ain't right, folks
the math don't add up
the government can't even understand exponential, itself
I was thinkin' Warren Buffet for president, myself
hey, I'm all for feedin the world
but, not off of my plate you squirrel
now I can see why most of the now senile voted for perot
they didn't want their nest eggs to implode
my friends, you are experiencing history
this will be known as the era of modern carpet bagging
futuralisticly speaking
hey, I ain't Aldous Huxley | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:38:03 PM |
and if you want well done you have to remove one clothin
ha, since I like mine rare I'd take off an earring....(can you tell I've played before?)
if I took off my clothes you'd all start sneering
my daughter says I need to shape up
right after this reeses peanut butter cup | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:47:43 PM | no jewelry allowed because of the choking hazard
I call new rule! .. ain't that a basstard?
I've got frozen kitkats if that's close enough
had to put 'em somewhere or they'd get tough | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:57:49 PM | fm shot me straight back in time to a high school girlfriend..
I'd better get her out of my head. 
gotta watch out for that nostalgia song
everybody's got one
it'll make a woman cry if she's into the wine
remember back when music had a flip side?
oh oh oh.. knew idea! Y'all are gonna love this one!
Here's what I'm in the mood for..
a country inn with a player piano
played by beethoven's ghost
I'd tell you who I was with if I could remember
the wine was fermented by the host..
writin to the radio again.. typin exercise without burnin up paper..
hahahaha The quick brown fox jumped on the lazy dog. v
this is why it takes so long to write a ramble.. gotta kinda skip
writin anything for a few songs sometimes. heart's on now..
that sucks so bad that it's like fingernails on a blackboard..
now it's Petty.. my god, he sure wrote some crap.
Radio programming has sucked since the demise of the dj.
I live in what's become a metropolis and the dial is full of nothing
but top fourty for whatever music you try to tune into.
Pick an era or type of music.. doesn't matter. It's gonna be the
same top fourty for it spun on a loop, pretty much.
I'll prolly never be a hemmingway
and I certainly don't have a longfellow
I get kisses occasionally anyway
it's my reward for bein mellow
what do they call it when you illegally start your own radio station?
Pirating the airwaves? That right? Anybody know how to do that?
I'd love to pirate the airwaves.
and now it's the 21st century
everyone is internet dating
I've learned not to date anyone who isn't in my time zone
way too much phone tag and you seldom get to bury your bone
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:49:27 AM | What Up, Dog?!!!
See your tail is a still wag'n
Pet'n the hard head, slobber'n in foam
Someday, every "Dog" gets their "Bone", for keepsake
Finding a personal groomer for life!!
(Well, if they want it..........LOL)
Hugs kisses and Love!!!! | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:02:21 AM | when I whisper in your ear it's because both ears can't hear..
it's a secret between me and your right ear
your breasts are unique in that way
whenever you let them out to play
they both require spoken to directly
am I workin my way down too quickly?
should I whisper the left ear something sweet to make the right ear jealous?
before I force a confession from your satin palace?
moo Hi Hammy.. wrote some horny for ya  | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:14:28 AM |
it's a secret between me and your right ear
your breasts are unique in that way
should I whisper the left ear something sweet to make the right ear jealous?
before I force a confession from your satin palace?
Brawny, great lines... | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/20/2009 12:40:16 AM | Brizo, I should prolly tell you.. you're one of only a handful of
women whom exist on this planet that I'd like to tickle with a
powdered feather. And I wouldn't tie you up, either.
I'd tell you to imagine that you're bound. Then run that feather
from the arch of your foot straight up your thigh, tease your bottom a
few strokes and then head slowly up your spinal cord. Don't move.
You're psychically bound. If you don't remain prostate I'll be forced to
start over. That's the definition of Tickle Torture.
Sorry.. mmmmmmmmmmmm Gotta be the native in ya.
And that is a compliment. I realize that it's hard to tell coming from
me, sometimes.
The rest of the handful already know who you are.
I'm not shy in the least.
Here's something that confuses everyone except for her and I..
I've practically made a profession of proclaiming my love for the Indian Princess.
That doesn't embarrass her. We stand naked hand in hand on top of a snow
covered mountain. No shoes and no shame. Just hand in hand looking out
at all of the wonders of life. Our relationship is no more complicated than that.
To us, anyway. And that's how we like it. Right, darlin? 
the only confusion in my life, like usual, is what to do with the blonde
the Indian Princess tells me to write her a song
ah, if it were only that simple
as easy as popping a pimple
Ever looked a woman that you love in the eyes and told her that
you love another woman? Prolly not. Most guys are wimps.
It's not a complicated situation. Few are.
Women dig guys that have balls. Even though they don't really like
to play with them. Hell, we just scratch 'em. Know what I mean?
I really don't have anything intelligent to say.
green eyes enchant me as much as brown do
out pops the canary that goes cuckoo
yeah, whatever
better late than never
hey, brizo
you're lookin fine, yanno
I could make your cheeks pink if you wanted me to
just thought that you should know
where was I goin with this again?
oh, yeah.. grabbed the tail end of that thought
I can play with the blonde because I never have to look for love
that message comes down loud and clear from above
I wonder if it's play to her..
she is still just a girl
I'll be gentle
I wonder if she will..
Pandy and I are the garden of eden if it were written with perfection.
And she prefers my free verse. She's sick of my rhyme addiction.
Care for an apple, anyone?
She's not my true love. She's my pure love.
Try to wrap yourself around that one.
That should give you amateur shrinks some fun.
The only thing that makes me attractive to women at all is the
fact that I know what makes men attractive to women.
Absolutely no other reason at all. I ain't pretty.
Prolly do the blonde thing 'til it kills me.
Ain't that boring?
Pandy still loves me.
And that's all that I need. | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:43:12 PM |
Pandy still loves me.
And that's all that I need.
Yanno
don't think you could do better
aim higher
try harder
true or pure love
I would take either
if offered
still waiting for
that daily special
to come my way
maybe one day
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/21/2009 8:16:23 AM | blessed be, darlin.. blessed be
I don't even come close to deserving the quality of the few women who
I share my heart with. I'd rather be lucky than good anyday. 
If you water a whirling dirvish, will it grow?
Ever try poachin' eggs in a volcano?
Is selling moon rock a federal crime?
Just workin my way down to another fault line..
Tryin to figure out a memory for the kids this summer..
you wouldn't think it would be that difficult in florida
but, I don't do the tourist trap scene
Minnie's gonna have to get topless for me to disney
That leaves two options as far as I can see
fresh water fishin or a few days at the beach
I was totally toasted and promised their mommy
now I gotta buy the boat a frickin new bimini
she sure does look great in a bikini
oh yeah, I'm s'posed to be kid thinking
fresh water's cheaper but you don't get the ions
I guess I could just leave it up to the lil ones
I'm sure they're up for any kinda kodak moment
and if they oversleep they won't get a free doughnut
I can't tell 'em my fishin trip stories for a few more years
"it has to be 9am or you catch a fish before ya get a beer"
here's some no bullshyt for ya pickles..
Those few quality women who share my heart have taught me more
about love/life/people in a few years, than I learned on my own all of my life.
The one thing that they have in common is pureness of heart.
Well, and iq's much higher than mine. But, that's a given.. ain't it ladies? lol | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/21/2009 5:16:55 PM | Doll....as you know.....been on this site for about 5 years...
I admire those ladies as much as you do...and love you because you do
arf
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/21/2009 6:32:59 PM | I totally have the girl/girl thoughts now
thanks a lot pickles
now I'm prolly gonna have to go through porn rehab again
I just got over thinkin about naked women | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/21/2009 7:39:24 PM | Brawny, thanks....got me blushing.... 
well, gotta go watch Benjamin Button...yeah, I know. I'm way behind the rest of the universe on movie watching...and I'm not even embarrassed about it. Though finding a movie for the family get togethers is impossible because everyone's already seen it. | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:50:00 AM | I love this thread... and to answer this question...
and what's up with vegetarians?
Vegetarian, for natives of my area means Man that can't hunt.
Love to read you all!!!
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| welcome back to the peeling of the prudes
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:06:45 PM | The one that the Indian Princess accidently deleted was much better.
lol Glad you're having fun, though. 
As long as they don't eat roadkill that somebody didn't bother to stop for
... I'm good
Sis's dad told her not to date guys with more tattoos than teeth.
Just good parental advice in my opinion. Ain't that a fact?
Only women's opinions on that!
don't you love it when a joker says somethin to that effect?
makes me want to cut off his d1ck
prolly got spam from a sex site
while gettin a fistful of afternoon delight
Yanno.. people have been putting down their thoughts since coal.
Maybe prior. I look like an archeologist? Nevermind.
anthropologist? I'm gonna have my own spelling contest.
Thank god I'll be the one judging it!
hahahaha
and in the days of old
the women were told
and never asked..
they were shoving bark tree in their pants
okay.. now I'm on a roll
and all senioritas are bi-language
they're like cats when it comes to comunicatin'
the raised eyebrow means "got a tampon"
the lowered one means "do you need one?"
God doesn't even understand women.
Oh, that's right.. he's torturing them.
Now there's a perfect plan.
God, try thinkin ahead.
I didn't do nothin' and neither did Adam.
You folks ever think about how things were different just a handful
of generations ago. I mean.. not the ghost town barnboard and ladies with
tiny umbrellas and corsets like you see in the movies. Nor the city ones
where they never show the guy walking around picking up horse shyt.
well, that had to be a communal position.
Ya never see the shyt picker uppers in the old movies.
I guess it wasn't as simple before baggies.
I just watched a john wayne this morning.
No shyt pickin up happening.
I have not researched this..
but, I'd bet a man invented the tampon
prove me wrong
don't be bleedin' all over my buckboard!
I'm tellin ya god... neither Adam or I did a dam.n thing
gay doesn't work 'cause ass doesn't feel as good as ****
I'm really not tryin to run your universe
but, then again, I could convert
Pope Doggie the first
I've always wanted to run for office
and my first commandment would be to allow all men pvssy
I'm pretty sure that's what God was thinking
I'll testify to that
me and God are phat
why do you think the ladies carried hankies?
incase the pad machine was empty?
good thinkin God.. good one
oh, that was evil
pffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
that must have been horrible back when all washing machines had nipples.
yeah, you women are basically pitifull.
And to tell you the truth, I didn't vote for sufferage.
but, I guess that's my own personal problem.
and that's all that I have to say
..at least for today  | |
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| welcome back to the peeling of the prudes
Posted: 7/31/2009 4:47:46 PM | so.. whatcha think, baby?
ain't a nerve that I can't find,maybe?
be gentle with the reciprocation
I'm in the mood for toleratin nothin
And I know where to find the G
women get bored with squirting
ask one if you don't believe me
unless the man is, it ain't exciting
Maybe I'll go crudeless after a keyboard gasm
no reason to ask you word geniuses to play canasta
a couple decks of vowels is about a conundrum
in other spelling.. do the hoe-hum
Spellcheck?
prolly not..
yeah, I'm a square
do you really care?
I'm sweating nitro like old dynomite
just waiting to be shaken and not stirred
she's lucky she's not in my bed tonight
that shot would be heard around the world
and the ladies do actually curtsey
it's a habit instilled like opening the door for them, mostly
they can even do it wearing their period panties
I find that to be fascinating
The female mind and her body corrupt every test.
There is no bone connected to the woman bone.
I've analyzed them for thousands of hours, I guess.
I'd suggest rubbin their homorous zone. | |
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| welcome back to the peeling of the prudes
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:54:57 AM | lol you sure are cute, darlin..
just reminding you
My only problem is that I've over-analyzed myself.
How's that for digging too deeply?
I'm doctor jeckle with nowhere to hyde
step into the alley?
ever spoken to the wiseman on top of the mountain?
pulled out your book to do the translatin?
tired and hungry from the climb
and he just uttered something you couldn't understand and called it sublime?
God, the man on the mountain, Allah if you swing that way..
are all as uncomplicated as a sunrise beaconing a new day
if man were meant to walk on the moon, he'd have wings
that really didn't stop the progress thing
Want to know the truth from someone who wouldn't lie to you?
The world is over-populated and their's nothin you can do about pollution.
It burns more fuel to recycle than to burn the shyt.
Propaganda is the world's worst habit.
concrete and glass are both made from sand
mostly fat makes attractive mammory glands
a water pill can change all of that
just look away if you notice a woman's feet are fat
That's what God told me.
His voice to my ear.
I swear..
I'd been meditating.. | |
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