| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:11:23 AM | Y'all see that now they've got "Female Extenze"?
Wonder if that comes in an arrangement from FTD yet..?
Sheesus.. what's next?
They should call it "Engorge".. the fvckin twits
Can anyone, male or female, even imagine buying a woman
a month's supply of Engorge? I'd say that would guarantee
at least six months of no pvssy. Yanno it?
Normally, if a woman doesn't wanna have sex.. it ain't because
her pvssy is broken. And it's not because the guy's d1ck isn't big
enough either. I'll bet they come out with another pill soon that
tightens the vagina. Whatcha think? And a lube pill.. yeah, a lube pill..
It's a sellers' market for insecurity cures
and exercise doesn't have to be torture
I'll sell you a machine that unwraps your twinkie
while you lose weight virtually cross country skiing!
Female Eztenze.. That's just crossing the line.
Does anyone really want to have sex with someone who has
to take a pill to want to fvck ya? I know, we're guys and wouldn't
pass up the tail.. but, the girls know what I mean.
Huh, girls..
Romance has been reduced to an ad for NASCAR
I bet it woke up with one hell of a hangover
cupid grew a beard and deals arrows on the street corner
and girls gone wild has somehow replaced porno
Remember when perverts had to hide to whack off?
pee wee herman had his big top..
I swear, they're gonna have "before and after" penis pics in the short distance
they'll just shove a roll of quarters down some flamers spandex
 I'd better quit. arf.. Female Extenze.. I still can't believe it. Sheesus. | |
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| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 8/27/2009 6:12:29 PM | I soo get that brawny dog...
As I became more aware of television.
See, was raised in the country,
In an eleven bedroom house.
We'd play hide and seek for days... 
Anyway... yep, this big black box came in our home.
I was nine 8 years old or so.
One of my first memories, was watching a man
Hoping up and down and seemed like floating.
Yep, the "first" man on the moon... I know... 
Anyway... As I listened without understanding.
I thought that the black box was stupid.
Yep, it only painted everything in black and white.
Anwyay... fast forward a few years.
I sort of understood English.
What got my attention more were the commercials.
Yep, the jingles and the one liners saying stupid things.
Indigestion, no problem....
Drink Pepto Bismol
And continue eating like a pig.
That is what I understood.
Remember this jingle...
"You'll look better with your sweater washed in zero!"
"Zero makes your sweaters look alive!"
Hello!!! Since when does a laundry soap make any woman "look better"?
Oh... how about...
"Be a good cook." Mother said you'll get a man...
What did I get! Twenty years in a dirty oven!!!
Scrubing!!! Cleaning!!!
No wonder I have commitment phobia... ffs
This one cracks me up... Music please....
I can get home the bacon... tadadada...
Fry it up on a pan... tadadada...
And never ever let you forget your a man...
'Cause I'm a woman...
W... O... M... A... N...
Say it again...
Geez, I have no idea what product was advertised in that commercial...
But, I knew then and there...
If ever I have to buy bacon and fry it up on pan
To make sure he never forgets he's a man...
Shit... we both have issues...
Stuff sure gets lost in translation I tell you!!!
I still remember a smoking commercial.
This one cracked me up!!!
It said that is was a good thing to smoke when you are fishing...
Yep... wonder why anyone?... Come on guess...
Drumroll please!!!
The smoke makes the moskitoes go away...
It did not matter that the shit in the cigarettes
Would shorten your life span...
Nope... as long as you were not bugged by the moskitoes
While you went fishing... It's all good!!!
There are so many more but right now my memory eludes me.
Were we that innocent then?
To actually believe that crap?
Maybe I should listen to my TV some time to find out
If we are still that stupid today.
Anyway... just to say I get where you are coming from Brawnydog.
So, I suspect that many middle aged men and women that really do not need sex
Every day, five times a day that will last for hours at a time...
Have made themselves believe that they must take that medication
To force themselves to f u c k like the young ones...
Geez... Wonder if either of them actually are enjoying it? 
Just musing ...  | |
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| Kiss or Kill
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:32:07 PM | I lust for battle,
like I lust for sex,
for the two are very similar.
Polar opposites, extremes,
two sides of one coin,
one breeds creation, one breeds destruction.
Who is to know, if you should fight them or fvck them? | |
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| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:48:42 PM | yeah, but can you still hold a shot of tanqueray
in your crack just my using your ass muscles?
just musing.. 
Face down and ass up isn't insulting to a woman in the least.
When the suits come off they want the beast.
The one time of the day they don't have to multi task..
to be simply taken is all that they ask
it get's a lil complicated from there..
my lie detector test is a big red handprint
slapped into ass flesh at just the right second
You my whore?
"oh yeah, baby.. and sooo much more"
Face down, ass up and shut up!
Who told you you could talk?!
You're really asking for the handcuffs!
a gentleman still pays for lunch
 moo
edit: you don't wanna go there man | |
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late™
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Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 2156 | |
| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 8/29/2009 12:36:10 AM | You ... are a light in a dark place,
a song in a silence,
a flower in a desert,
a clear blue sky
.......on a sad blue day.
I wish you all the good you deserve,
.......if I could?
I would let you have my share.
Still you would deserve more.
As your own life.......
Owes you an immeasurable happiness.
It should be paid to you
From your share of eternity | |
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| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:56:39 AM | Nice finish. 
I just figured out this morning that this ain't labor day weekend.
I thought I was on daddy duty today.
Moms don't think much of labor day.. kinda ironic.. huh..
Anybody else get contacted by folks seeking an intimate encounter?
Yanno, that really does remove the need for common banter..
One mailed me last night and asked if I wanted to fvck her..
I'm diggin the last five not showin' on my profile! 
I told her I was on daddy duty
now I'm all alone with no sloppy blowie
gotta love women who know what they want
that horny bytch was all about suckin' c0ck!
A woman with intimate encouter status means one of two things
she's either married or down-right butt ugly!
women don't need to ask for sex if they're hotties
they just have to smile and not act un-horny!
(unhorny.. now there's a new word lol)
I turned down pvssy twice yesterday
I sure hope I ain't turnin gay
I don't have the wardrobe for that kinda shyt
and I'm kinda partial to playin with tits! 
I've got nothin against booty calls
I just don't want one that smells like someone else's balls!
when a woman claims openly on the internet to be a slut..
well, there really ain't no tellin what she might have just done!
 yanno it? | |
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| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 8/31/2009 1:03:20 AM | ode to Otis
(hold on.. let me look up ode)
(nevermind.. skippin the ode)
Otis never wore a mask
just carried with him his faithful flask
filled with pixies and magic spirits
if you listen closely, you can hear 'em
okay.. deleted this stanza
not much more about Otis I can tell ya
that non-disclosure order kickin' in it seems
I'm only s'posed to play him on tv
arf | |
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| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 9/2/2009 12:41:47 AM | I'd better not write that either.. been doing a ton
of back spacing lately.. 
Who'd have thunk it, eh?
since I'm here anyway..
think I'll go satellite and get rid of cable completely
have Scotty beam me down some decent tv
Idiot box. Boob tube. Pick one, please..
I wanna see Spock and MaryAnn fornicating
we'll make 'em the last two survivors on jupiter beach
toss in some pointed ear wiggling to add some kink
I can almost hear the vulcan wedding bells ring
anyone else seein' a movie of the week? | |
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| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 9/2/2009 12:07:23 PM | okay.. here's another for rosie..
I deleted two stanzas of wordplay teasing you as a cougar.
That should be endearing. 
Another woman said "I think I'm older than her!"
Nah, I wouldn't fvck her.. I'd make love to her..
where have the sixties gone?
wanna take a hit off my bong?
We're gonna form a commune in 2010
you want in?
Brush up on your spanish..
I'll be the only one speeking english
..and noone wants to listen to that
you'd look fine with your ass a hat
I meant forgive my typos..
yanno?
 Noone interested talks about the weather.
Just the moon cycles. mmmmmm I'd wear your ass as a topper.  | |
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| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:05:28 PM | thanks for deleting the stanzas
lord only knows!
you know
i've been called A LOT of things
but never a cougar!
learned long ago
no matter what i'm called
i'm still me...regardless
(who'd ever thunk
54 would feels so young?
i was helluva lot older at 20)
ok..enough of my ramblings
i'm beginning to sound a lot like
someone i don't even know...
anyways..your whimsy
entertains even enlightens
but a cougar???
oh pul-ease! | |
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| welcome to now it's just gettin stupid, the millenium edition
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:26:30 AM | hahahaha It was s'posed to be funny, darlin.
Almost all of my gal pals are my age or older.
One of my closest friends told me she was called a cougar in mail
the otherday.. LOL I responded with:
"that a joke? we don't even fvck grown-ups!"
hahahahahahaha
I didn't write anything about you being a cougar that I had to delete..
I just had to backspace out of some other babble not even related before
I posted. lmao
Ex is 39, a hottie, and has always told me that I should be dating women in
their 20's. Her ego boost, I figure.. not mine. I prefer women with more
integral parts developed than their tits and asses.
And I ain't into making anymore babies. I think I'd just leave my shoes
on the Skyway Bridge!
I guess it's time I come up with another new term..
"gmilfs"! GrandMothers I'd Like to ****! That new or been used?
I'm pretty sure "cougar" was a term invented by guys that needed
a new angle for makin porn. Seems they were called may/december
romances before that. That sound right? Kinda artsier than cougar, eh?
Don't get me wrong.. I do know a real time gal or two that only do young guys
for sport. I think we'll call them "fools". That even need to be an
acronym for anything? How about "fvcks only on looks"? Yeah, that'll work.
I doubt there are many 25 year old guys out running around turning 50yr
old women into squirters. I'll be happy to tell 'em how, though... just incase
any of you gals are thinkin about doin one!  LOLOLOL
The mean age of my three best galpals is 50..
they're the one's who seem to get me
and I've been around enough to know that all women have pvssies
they don't change all that much with aging
Not that I'm fvckin 'em anyway..
but, I no doubt would if they said OK
hahahahaha
I figure we're all good for a decade either way
as long as both are healthy and in decent shape
it's best to stay within your generation
AND I DON'T DO TATTOED WOMEN!!!!!!
I'd pass up a blowie if she had piercings!
I just figure that shyt for Hog Rings!
(look it up if you've never been to a farm)
moo lmao | |
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| you couldn't handle the truth, actually
Posted: 9/8/2009 1:58:09 AM | and the pacific doesn't always stay calm..
riptides that the Indian Princess created
she smiles while laughing and dancing upon them
I've got a reader's digest in my back pocket
I carry it around incase I'm in the moment
if I were a junkie I'd just get a fix
and give some whore ten bucks to suck my d1ck
it ain't complicated
get with the program
misses robinson is old school
how about you?
that's prolly not even in the library anymore
yanno?
Twain should have just called Jim colored.
And dustin only got to bone her 'cause her old man left her.
reality sucks..
what's your point?
do you even have one?
try starting with the world being overpopulated by a few billion.
.. I'll go from there
I'm still shootin' for a rockin' chair in the hills
the Indian Princess and I don't take pills
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| humbility
Posted: 9/12/2009 12:01:26 PM | just put your lips here
no treaty required with you
I diagnosed the doctor and then got paranoid
he said that he was gonna check me for hemmeriods
my ass tightened right up like a sphincter should
and I asked him if it would be okay if the head nurse could..
I've pretty much been told to stay in my own cave..
and I'm gonna do it because I ain't naive
but, I was in the navy
I ever tell you that story?
it really wasn't all that boring
and I never left chicago..
It takes a long time to read someone's life story.
and lighthouses are history
gps's have replaced mystery
somebody just shoot me.. | |
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| humbility
Posted: 9/12/2009 12:57:11 PM | Geez... I just have to let this go...
Met a man...
We dated... blah blah blah...
Then, it happened...
We screwed and to my surprise
When I saw my new toy
Yep, once I saw the prize
I became annoyed
I never thought I would do this
I dumped him because of his small penis
I thought I was deeper than that
I thought I was better than that
To make it worse,
He came almost instantly
Of course, I could not tell
Until I just thought, "What the hell..."
Dang, sent this fish back to the sea
Apparently size does not matter
Well, I was ambivalent about that see,
I never met such a small penis before...
Ok... if anyone laughs reading this
Secretly, hopes it will never be a man
with a small penis
I swear I am not shallow... 
Bows out of thread...
Blushing... | |
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| humbility
Posted: 9/12/2009 10:18:43 PM | you'll leave my thread when I say you can..
and don't you forget it!
you really want to go there?
right when drea's remindin me not to be a hater..
life's so complicated
I guess I'll just give myself a spankin
fishin musician is exactly right about writing good songs too
I've written a few
not too many
but, I ain't really been trying
all these years in grad school prevent that
I bet she's ugly and fat
and a lesbian to bat!
only at peace when petting her cat..
whatcha think?
put some effort into it
I'll take my lil dik and make it hurt
butt, in a good way
that why you didn't make a baby?
I'm easy and breezy and kinda sleezy
you really sure that you want to do me?
I can sense that you're a true lady
your most rehearsed word is "maybe"
and that's just the way it feels..
yeah yeah yeah yeah...
moo | |
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| humbility
Posted: 9/13/2009 5:34:29 AM | I am pissed...
Seriously pissed... 
A pipe busted in my crawl space.
The man of my affections is no more.
My computer caught a virus.
I have a yeast infection.
I know tooooo many details.
I hardly ever ever get angry.
Last night I lost it.
Seriously lost it.
My SO arrived four hours late.
The plumber was in my crawl space.
I was itching and wanted to scratch my crotch.
I was really trying to put my best foot forward.
Then it happened... THAT phone call.
You know the one where he speaks in a low voice.
Who the hell calls at 9 o'clock on a Saturday night.
Wanting JUST to talk???
Then, I lost it.
I just lost it.
He was squirming.
I can smell that kind of crap.
From a mile away.
He was defensive.
Would not explain.
I heard him say
He would call her tomorrow.
Like, WTF, call her now then.
I am done.
Finished.
It's over...
BYE...
I do not think he saw it coming.
He swears there is no one else.
Yea right...
I am sooooo pissed still.
I sort of slept but
When I woke up,
I simply could not face the reality of my life.
Damned... when does the hurting stop.
Seriously... there should be an age limit
on that kind of pain.
Life goes on I guess...
Shit de shit...
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| humbility
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:17:35 PM | la belle Anna . . .
ne vous occupez jamais… il restent beaucoup de poissons dehors là !
NHance!  | |
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| humbility
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:53:42 PM | | la belle Anna...that was hilarious...maybe not for you but for the onlooker. Life would be PRETTY bland and excruciating without the the pain. And remember there are many fish in the sea. Yep. When you do not look, you get a real good invite...always. | |
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| humbility
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:15:46 PM | my french got rusty when I moved this close to mexico..
but, as long as everyone's having fun! yanno?
I bet none of y'all have ever been told to become the fla chicken king..
..and I know what you're thinking
but, it's a grill thing
let's call the shack the Wing Ding
"get your chorizo by the meter"
cried the barker towards the theatre
and we've got a big sale on Estrada Enchiladas
buy two and win a trip to the Bahamas
I'm not as good at english as latin
but, I was born a romantic
I know that's not an excuse..
but, it's good enough for you
 beach ball thing | |
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| humbility
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:56:10 PM | I'm destined for dam.nation on judgement day
I've never killed, seldom lied.. but, I did fornicate
I'd better see rabbits on fire in hell!!
don't worry. . I'm just closing out this page..
pity ain't a big part of my language
but, empathy is
show me your tits. | |
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| another slow ride to china
Posted: 9/17/2009 4:42:25 AM | I was gonna write a ditty but the sun's coming up
my keyboard's justa screamin "good luck"
I love rubbing her tenderly
I guess that was just a fantasy
I wonder what she thinks when she looks in the mirror.
Is that person really real?
She know's the difference.
It's just her personal preference.
I don't backspace and I don't edit
If I wrote it.. I meant it
that's just a fact
with the apology of the rare retract..
..ion
I am in love with the Indian Princess
she's not up in a tower in distress.
my phone is ringing at 7:30
somebody just shoot me
and she could tolerate me for about three days
I still live in a cave.
Free verse.. that's the way to go
end of the story if you really want to know
it wasn't she calling me
it was my old lady | |
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| another slow ride to china
Posted: 9/18/2009 12:23:32 PM | I'd touch her if I could
she's never heard a word
that she was't just thinking
and yanno how that irritates me
I doubt this makes the sunday paper
the comics are why they're still available
and I'm still just closing this page out
don't have a cow
I can look a woman straight in the eyes
mesmerize them with their own thighs
kinda boring huh
it's all been done
a woman can be 15 or 90
and they don't even require good writing
they're still the same girl
it just takes awhile
I could plaster this place with a beautiful face
tie her up in chains of lace
...and not even give it thought
that what you really want?
I might be stuck in four line mode
but, just so y'all know..
I have no idea how I got here
I hope that's loud and clear...
still just a page closin'..
when you eat a woman you stuff your nose in
rim it.. tongue it.. just don't stick nothin' in it
that's held up for just the right moment
I don't know what else to say..
think we should ask the ladies?
I'm a three pump chump lookin for a fvck
if you don't want whitewashed you should duck
and nothing beats a blowjob
try asking a woman to give you one | |
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