| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:03:20 AM | Hey Braw
A Fan
I never lose interest, he always amuses,
He writes what he thinks and he thinks as he chooses.
He beats most the rest by a good country mile.
So if you want a good read, get it Doggie style.
(uh, oh, by the way, that "good country"? It's Canada.
moo-se) | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/20/2009 1:52:34 PM | of him or me? sheesus! 
Yanno, a grouper sandwich is the basic pub fave down here?
It's different everywhere you go
the otherday I was discussing that with yoko
it's italian beef up in chicago
in kewanee it was tacos
the hog capital of the world
yeah, go ahead and google
and everyplace has wings
that's like a no tip yuppie thing
most really generic, also
I jerk mine on orangewood charcoal
this ain't that fried buffalo shyt
it's more like tastebud magic
take another bite to cool off your tongue
you'll eat another 20 if you eat one
anybody else hungry?
or is it just me?
I'm the florida chicken king
can't you just taste the juice dripping?
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:37:56 PM | anybody else wonder if they've ever been blown by a trannie?
in a closet off the hallway at a new years party? 
ya really had to check back in the 80s....
just taking the keyboard out for a walk..
it's only an hour if you go slow
something's take longer the faster you go
but I'm not tellin ya nothin you don't already know
I'm pretty certain somebody should though!
you can have your pie and eat it too
I don't eat cake and I don't blue tooth
but, smoothies I can understand
yanno it, man?
hold on.. keyboard wants to go artsy..
this takes a minute sometimes..
sirens have sung songs to sailors for centuries
men have both killed and died over beauty
"for Queen and Country!"
is a word painting
I'm deaf in one ear and broke in both pockets
yet, I still can't seem to pawn this locket
not with that picture in it | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:52:05 AM | well, this should be a mess..
belly up to the keyboard about dawn..
good thinking..
I'm still digging the "last five" not being on our profiles.
Now I've got a whole inbox full of smiles. 
Watch this.. it's like 20 til 7 here..
give me a kiss bye and grab me a beer
I'm thinking about 500 different things
prolly should pick one if you know what I mean
The question is not "who do you love".
It's "who are you in love with?"
or somethin
know where I'm comin from?
yeah, everyone does
ain't that a bytch?
I ain't a tree hugger.. but, could you picture me beating a seal?
prolly not, huh.. I figure they're greasier than a goose value meal.
sorry, just blubbering
her brows are plucked to perfection
which, isn't our connection
but, it makes looking into her eyes so much easier
darlin, in the medicine cabinet there's tweezers
hmmmmmmmm better not go that route
but, it was a thought..
I analyze myself all the time
often write it down in rhyme
to me most of my writes are sublime
underneath the grease and grime
I think I'm finally gettin warmed up..
anybody else have to get warmed up?
prolly don't do it public, huh
but, this is floriduh
_________________________________________
I don't care if you're an angel
fallen or faithful
a woman wants her eyes stared into deeply
that's where lies their true beauty
it doesn't matter what you think
and girls do look pretty in pink
pastel angel
passed out devil
that's got aroma
I guess we're in rome now
that apple country?
just wondering
if Adam had balls, he'd have eaten the serpent
God would have enjoyed that
Eve left because they just had fig leafs for pads
she was bleedin really bad
I'm gonna write a book that'll be left in motels' drawers
and ya won't shoot yourself in the head sorrowed over a whore
I guarantee you that
where's room service at?!!!!
now, back to Eve
commercial break
who do you love?
anyone?
flash those green eyes towards your kingdom
just for fun
you know you can stare me down
your eyelids are even proud
I'll be hangin with the monks if you want me
doing hybrid analyzing
I'm not waiting around here
they invented beer
 it's dawn moo I mean cokcle doodle doo | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:58:59 PM | this ain't exactly the place to bring your smokin gun, son
I'm friends with everyone
except for the starwearer's wife
she's ornery with me near evernight
and all of the bartenders know me
there is a rule on tipping properly
we southern gentlemen know
And thar she blows!
she asked me to stop at an unknown destination
just asked to use the lady's restroom
and she hasn't come back yet
I wonder where she's at?
I spent days and nights staring at that stall
and then a stallion crawled out with just one ball
and I knew right away what had just happened
she'd given that stud a blowjob
So, I put on mc millin.. or maybe it was rockford
I'm not really sure because it was before cable
and you have no idea what goes on in the tropics
cept for infomercials tryin to sell phonics
fluffy bunny...
drea is calling to me..
where are you fluffy bunny brawny?
you know those foots aren't really lucky
don't gnaw them off the bunnies
it would ruin christmas
mmmmmmmmmmmm wow
meditating now
find that happy place
fvck it.. mine's always gonna be leather and lace
I ain't no daisy
but, I betcha figured that already
and it's stain "less" steal
that's why they make brass wool
doesn't leave rustmarks on you brightwork
let alone your oiled teak wood
Aye, matey.. take a seat in the crow's nest
that's the Indian Princess's second language
Crow that is
fun when thing's get interstin' | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/28/2009 4:30:54 PM | Hey bd......loved this
I have a 120,000btu double burner turkey frier.
dang whatcha doing fer Thanksgivin??? Canadian that is????
Flashed my t1ts at a bartender
not on purpose
he flushed out of the ladies toilet
and there I was
braless....
yanno
they're still perky
maybe cos I rub them each night
in the faint hope
a t1t genie will appear
nah..I'm nearly sixty
genies want steamies
but I'll tell ya
when I askedthe 'tender
how mine measured up...
he said
Ma'am....
you gotta be at least a "D" cup | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/29/2009 4:53:12 PM | You know what I always say.. more than a sinkfull's a waste.
Everytime I think I've mastered uncomitted comittment
my ass gets bit
never figured I needed a legal writ
but, it seems women require it
I've said "sorry" so many times that I think maybe I am
and I ain't even goin into all the "yes ma'ams"
I can see how a ring would make the difference
looks so much better on a guys death certificate
I'm only a cad when you don't laugh
I take your calls when you take a nap
when you awake "I lit a candle for your bath"
baby, do the math
all women do not get that same treatment
and you're not gettin it because it's convenient
by now I shouldn't even have to explain that
I told you day one we were a perfect fit
set the bird free and see if it comes back
My opinion on that is fvck that
revolving doors are for department stores
and fancy hotels with 1000 dollar whores
I might take a couple poetic liberties
speak my mind too openly
but, I stutter very rarely
and I do open doors for ladies
I don't push buttons and I don't pull heartstrings
although I've a merit badge in knots and passed the board in typing
yet you're the only woman who can make me feel guilty
wanna live happily ever after miserably?
you can tell me all the stupid shyt that I've ever done
over and over into infinitum
write it all down incase you forget one
'cause I'm sure there's another idiom or two yet to come
and if I make you cry I'll lick off your tears
stare into your eyes and run my hands through your hair
pour you a hot bath and light a candle while you nap
baby, most women have to rent a spa guy for that
I'm not sure if this is a proposal or an apologee
it shouldn't matter to you anyway
one's as good as the other when you're my lover
you're the prettiest girl in town but I'm the best back rubber | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/30/2009 2:28:36 PM |
wanna live happily ever after miserably?
Love that line...
Wanna live happily ever after miserably?
Well, in this four dimensional world it is not possible.
See, we all have a gland in our brains that ensures our mortality.
But, living happily miserably
IS the best description of infinity.
Geez, I love that sentence.
I give you credence
In fact I bow to you brawnydog
Do you see me waiving in the fog?
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:41:32 PM | no
best to stay off the road
why in the world would a woman text me?
another test I'm thinking
I don't want to fight either
let's get that clear
I'm not gonna type on a phone
just so yanno
I'm not ignoring you
I just don't eat tofu
and you don't eat seafood
guess we're even
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:53:24 PM | Ah darlin'
when I thought of you
my digits grew
to twice their (flaccid) size
a handicap in texting
but wonderful for letching
which comes as no surprise
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:18:34 PM | Pandy's a granny.. big ole boy
blue eyes and all
came out of his mama six feet tall
congratulations, darlin
good spawnin..
Love you..
and that's the truth
this is just an announcement
yeah, I'm basically brethren
I'll write Pandy's a Granny tomorrow or so
just lettin y'all know
beautiful bouncing baby boy
every Granny's pride and joy
I don't know nothin about no birthin
I'm even worse in person
and I never expect to visualize it
that's where this poem ends at
 
Gonna be a tale coming soon, though.
A few words from doggie the uncle. | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/2/2009 3:36:51 AM | morning glory
the flower of the day
no wonder I have butterflies..
venus flytrap
a carnivorous plant
imagine that
and the grass grows until the frost hits
unless the sun burns it
which doesn't bother palm trees
I ever tell you about my peace lily? lol
I grew roses for a few years
drank dac's and not beer
hot house flowers lack aroma
that's the "flora" part of florida
I had a rubber tree taller than the house
before a freeze cut it down
and a poinsetta that blushed every fall
they're all growing back now
mason dixon line
frost line
I ain't far enough south yet
still tryin to learn mexican
not that I have a communication problem
I've never had one
I speak universal just fine
so do wine and moonlight
some flowers close when the sun goes down
others pop their stamens out
it really is a small world
it all comes down to boy meets girl | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/2/2009 5:51:43 PM | Heya B! 
Congrats to dear Pandy, and wow, how time flies!
Seems like only yesterday I first heard the good news,
And now...a new baby boy with innocent blue eyes
Has arrived to his mom and grandmama's sweet little cooes! 
Congrats, my friend! | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/3/2009 3:45:21 AM | You I would kiss back. Anyone told you that
you are beautiful lately? I bet your skin's really smooth too.
Sorry, just imaginarily rubbing lotion on.
I love beautiful women.
Don't we all?
Ain't that what they invented lotion for?
I'd be really turned on if you and pickles kissed..
and I'm pretty sure that om's down with it
Darlin, your face alone buys you the world
women have that advantage
shallow huh?
I bet you'd love to get drunk in garage
you mused me
sorry
you really are beautiful
just incase you don't know
yanno?
I hope so
just figured you might want someone to tell you
you're beautiful..
and I really am a good judge
I'm in love with indians and blondes
a couple mexicans
she might be peurto rican
hard to tell closer to the islands
But, I want you to know that you are beautiful
and I'm not gonna go through a huge ritual
you just are
you shine with the stars
I'm not tryin to stick my d1ck in you
just reminding you that you're beautiful
I forget that quite often
and you can't do that with women | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:27:17 AM | How do you guys do it...
Some people just have it.
As I read, I get a beat.
It it lyrical and often sweet.
From the words chosen,
It seems a rhyme a dozen!
Keep on writing in rhymes my friend
For always a listening ear, I will lend.
Oh my, I think I am feeling the flow
Ooops, it is that time, I must go!!!
Off to belly dancing classes,
Where we all get to jiggles our asses!!!
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/4/2009 4:20:27 AM | you're a masochist.. ain'tcha
I don't even know what to say about that.
Hope you don't mind oral. I just adore receiving head. 
you want to turn your cam on?
take your bra off?
masturbate for me?
I'll watch but I ain't paying
Please..
I do need a new fluffer
and golf courses have ball polishers
I'll let you blow me
tell me how you like to suck c0ck
wrap your mouth around it
my head is sensitive like a clitty
stroke the rest, baby!
I like playin with girlparts
I can tell your's are pretty hot
I've never had a groupie before
should I just tell you to bend over?
that's pretty much what I'll do anyway
face down and ass up is what I'll say
assume the position
time for a gasm
and you wouldn't say another word..
would you?
just stick your ass up in the air..
that's a rhetorical question
why are you stalking me?
if I fvck you will you go away?
I ain't even canadian
are you thinkin vacation?
it ain't gonna happen
I can get a blowjob anytime I insist on one.
I don't mind lubricating a few minds
watching panties get wet licking thighs
but once would be all that it would ever be
you see, I'm in love with a silky
I pour her milk baths that I lap off
shave her smooth so I don't cough
everything can't be natural
I ain't coughin up no fur ball
I wax her every birthday
it's another year older candle thing
she stays smooth with no refrigeration
and beats the hell out of masturbation
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/4/2009 4:52:30 AM | Yea brawny, never pay
To many woman are
sexual slaves for sure
and if the pimps
do not get their
cut
then those
natzee basterds
will be out of
business
for sure
and Angela and Brad
will be
happy as well! | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/4/2009 5:14:55 AM | French, educated women
who have interesting
hobbies appear to
get ones
attention intentionally
or unintentionally
so what
we are all pragmatic
mission accomplished | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:53:31 AM | For the record, I love this thread.
It is a tool to help me learn the wonderful language of Shakespeare.
If I have intentionally or unintentionaly made anyone annoyed with me I do apologize.
The above poem right after mine, if addressed to me
is in a way hurtful to a degree.
I am enjoying the twists and turns with the words.
Images from these words make me smile and sometimes makes me think.
I also enjoy the style, the raw unedited types of ideas that often one
does not express because we live such a political world.
Still, I cannot help but FEEL embarrassed and I KNOW I should not.
For the record, I thought a groupie was someone who enjoyed a certain artist.
I may not have understood the meaning of the word correctly.
Ok... no longer a groupie then... Just someone who enjoys the words written in this thread.
Again, at this time I bow out respectfully and I wish for everyone to have a great day.
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:11:48 AM | Dang... so much for bowing out respectfully...
I am bursting out with ideas that are silly...
I am fighting a migraine...
The damned intensity of the pain
Daylight makes my eyes hurt.
Sound makes my ears hurt.
I am trying to cope.
Simply, there is no hope.
Life is one big roller coaster.
Just when you think you are kosher.
In the next curve, POW
You fall on your ass wondering how.
The humiliation and the pain
Makes you wonder in vain.
Is life really worth living?
Why does one constantly have to be stinged?
Dang... the screen of my computer is now fuzzy.
My eyes can no longer take the strain of my hobby.
Ok, I must depart.
What is that I hear? Did my cat fart?
Ok... off I go
The roller coaster is moving again.
Hopefully, this slow climb
Will have a gently fall.
Nah, is life worth living without the fall?
Slowly, off I go into the clouds...
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:39:11 PM | I was gonna stay off the boards.. but, I took a read. lol
Anyone else cracking up over
For the record, I love this thread.
It is a tool to help me learn the wonderful language of Shakespeare.
You really are lost, hun. Shakespeare wouldn't even toss a damsel
in distress on this thread. If you were embarrassed.. you wouldn't have posted.
twice..
But, shakespeare basically just wrote about human nature and spoke funny.
He dressed funny too now that I think about it.
I'm naked. I don't have that problem.
Sans pantalons or somethin..
what are you wearin?
here's some dogspeare for ya though
there's a girl in a castle somewhere
she's letting down her hair
weaving it into a beautiful dream catcher
you can always tell when they do the hair twirl
with just their index finger
that one's s'posed to be a no brainer
shakespeare.. yeah, pretty close
hahahahaha the closest resemblance is the hand washing. lmao
I don't mean to offend anyone. But, from time to time it's gonna happen.
Betcha liked bein told face down and ass up, though..
You love a man who's in charge, don'tcha?
that was just another rhetorical question
every woman does in that situation
that's s'posed to be a given
I appreciate your enthusiasm. I really do. But, this is no
place to learn creative writing. Believe me.. I don't even read my own
babbles and rambles. I toss a twain or buffet quote out once in awhile
and that's it. Occasionaly sing something from South Pacific..
nothing corny, though. Did I mention not editing or using spell check?
Shakespeare used both. But, he wore fvckin pantyhose.
Would that turn you on, darlin?
I'm not above it..
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:42:07 PM | Anna...
No one annoyed here
In fact I
enjoy reading your
stuff, uncensored
sort of carefree
and honest
Not bad
Ouch!
Migraines are bad news! | |
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| welcome to writin for losers 101
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:43:17 PM | I'm annoyed or posted I wouldn't have..
You think that was a methadone patch?
this is writin for losers not kiss ass for fantasies
the control group is always just fed candy | |
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