| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 3/29/2005 10:34:26 PM | ---Bright Star jumps on Squeaky's bed and starts jumping up and down.
"Is this the sound you want"?
Lie down Bright...I will make you see stars....
Squeak | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/3/2005 9:03:59 AM | Thought I would start this one up again as I do my email. I have been reading some of the posts in the over 30's forum and see many different thoughts stated in wonderful ways about attitude. All very interesting and thought provoking. What I am trying to get some insight into is where do we draw the line within all of us to accept what our goal is and how we get and maintain it.
If we find someone that we are attracted to for many reasons, can we not enjoy and accept them and they us no matter what the age difference is? That is why I started this post and am hoping that maybe we can have a good discussion about looks and brains versus age without all the typical comments about society and its current imposed limitations. That and maybe to see some new thoughts toooooo......  | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/4/2005 4:09:56 PM | | Well, this could be a touchy situation. I dont think people should limit themselves with a fixed number..fact of the matter is someone 25 could be as mature as someone 40..depends on the person. It is hard enough to find happiness and companionship, the more limitations, the less chance of success. That being said..lets move onto looks over brains...looks fade, brains forget...but if I had to pick one over the other, brains win every time. You can only do so much with looks and when the covers are pulled and the light is off, I cant see you but I can still hold a conversation..with any luck one that will last a lot longer than the typical bedroom activities...and in 40 years when I am no longer able to do all I could before, perhaps my brain will pull me thru..companionship in my eyes equals communication....just my take on it all... | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/4/2005 6:52:36 PM | I agree with your concept and thoughts about it......and I have to ask too.....would you feel the same if the man you were wanting to be with was 20 years your younger or 20 years older? Would that make a difference given the brains and looks?
Would like to know what you and some think about that..... | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/4/2005 8:21:14 PM | | Twenty years younger and I would be in jail....so cant go there. Twenty years older, I would be okay with the fact that they looked older than me..its what I see when I look at them, not what society sees. As long as we had the same ideals when it came to a relationship, ie, on having children, and the physical appearances was the only thing left to consider, there wouldnt even be a choice for me. Its what and who makes each other happy. Now I am not sure my mother would see it that way, but it is me who has to be pleased not her.I tend to think the older is often more intelligent, so brains probably wouldnt be a factor. If they were a young hunky dippy person, I wouldnt date them at all....hope that helps a little more. | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/4/2005 8:26:11 PM | nicnewf,
Yes it does dear......and I wonder how you will feel when you are old enough that 20 years either direction issssssss possible and you have to think about that....smiles | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/4/2005 11:47:41 PM | Deacon,
My two cents worth..
It all depends on what you are looking for. For e.g. if a man at 35 years is looking for a relationship, to start a family, age will be a problem upwards say 15 or 20 years, the woman will be 50 years and 55 years respectively and downwards too with an age gap of 20 years, the woman will be 15 only. Whereas if a man who is 70 years he may just want a companion who can communicate on the same wavelength. I believe setting an age target is just an indication of how far you want to go. If the person has the looks and brains and within the age of what is indicated, it will be a bonus. Before I knew my partner (he is 6 years younger) I have a preference that I do not want anyone younger in a relationship. My partner was 40 and I was 46 then and there were so much chemistry that our age difference is now a non-issue. We are able to communicate at all levels. Before that I mixed well with people who were in their early thirties to late forties.
Hui | |
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a_vamp
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Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 33 | |
| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/5/2005 2:01:03 AM | Hello Hui! How are you?
In my opinion, age is not a problem when 2 people are just friends and STAY that way. One of my best friend is 24 years my senior. However, age is an issue for me when we're talking about something "closer". I can't date someone too young or old enough to be my father. I got an email from a gentleman in his 60s this morning. I do not know how to draft a polite reply but decided not to after reading his profile (looking for woman age 18-45). Hard not to feel "uncomfortable" about what I read... | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/5/2005 8:27:57 PM | Hello nice to see you Ariel!
I agree with you fully. Likewise I have people as young as 19 writing to me, that is my son's age but if he has a problem with life or need some advices, I will continue to write to him. So if you want to go into a relationship, you should choose someone you have chemistry with and closer to your age so that you can communicate on the same wavelength otherwise friends can be of all ages.. For your case, if that guy is looking for chat/email, I think it should not be a problem but if he is looking for more, then you should write to him saying thanks for writing but no offence as you feel you relate more to people your age and I think he will appreciate it. I think it is courteous to respond but I must admit sometimes I am also guilty of not responding to all, not that I don't want to do it but simply don't have the time to do it..
Have funs!
Hui | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/5/2005 8:42:46 PM | | I agree that chemistry is what it is all about...it is just nice when some will look past age and just enjoy what is with that chemistry....older or younger.....I can do both and enjoy both and would like them to enjoy me..... | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/5/2005 9:01:57 PM | Ya spend a lot more time outta the sack than in it.....brains take this race hands down
Squeak | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/5/2005 9:05:29 PM | | lol....god I hope sooo...but it is sooooo nice to have brains with looks....damn nice....smiles | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/5/2005 9:43:04 PM | I agree....deacon
Nice to look over in the morning and not think OMG, what have I done now? 
Well, that has never happened to me...but it might....
Nah - it won't.
Squeak
Selectivity is a good thing
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/6/2005 2:34:01 PM | | I'w with you Squeak..no regrets when selection is an issue....and if I do regret it, its because I discover that they arent whatthey said they were...Also..deacon, I hope that when I can comment on the 20 yr younger they are still coming after me..I will be an old bag by then..LOL | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/6/2005 11:42:23 PM | nic
sorry woman...I can comment on that stuff now and I ain't an old bag....
So you won't be either.
Just read somewhere today that today's 55 is yesterday's 40. So damn true...
Squeak | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/7/2005 7:37:10 AM | Squeak,
That is sooooooo true my dear.....I can comment both ways also and I do not feel like an old man or bag as NIC stated......oh well | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/7/2005 9:24:50 AM | | Age just really doesn't matter to me, looks are secondary, it's the brains that get me every time! | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/7/2005 11:25:52 AM | Hot,
Lmao.....lol....lol....knows you like more than brains...lol......will not even comment...smiles | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/7/2005 10:02:41 PM | Hey people just read this thread. Not sure that I can add anything worth while here. I have dated women some 22 years younger and have dated women 20 years my older. I have friends that are in thier teens that can hold a convo with the best of them. Will state the last relationship that I was in was with a lady 16 years my younger. we had a lot in comon and still do. I prefer to just be friends and see where things go. I can set myself to go with the times on most things. since with nieces and nephews around I kind of keep up a lot. I do prefer closer to my age. but never am I, not open to other age groups. I really don't care as to the age, as long as we have a fine relationship going. Now I do have a problem with what I consider dumb. If a person acts like they have no common sense. Do things that are completely off the wall. with no regards to the outcome. I prefer not to be around them in anyway. I am attracted to a lady with brains and if the looks are there all the more better. Now I have been attracted to looks on several occasions but mostly it doesn't matter. Now I do have a weakness. If the woman has a sexy set of eyes I could care less what she looks like. I have seen bedroom eyes and they melted me to no end. The worse part was, she was my doctor at the time, and worse yet she was married. Me being who I am and like I am told her she could control me just ask. She kind of blushed a little deep red. I also don't want to go to close to 20. Not that I have anything against that age group but it is like being with a kid to me. On top of that it is to easy to be with someone that looks older than they really are. as far as older I have no problem as long as we have a common bond between us.
Deacon I think looks and brains will most for sure out weigh the thought on age. If a person takes and gets to know the other person and they hit it off with no (excuse this) BS then age should not be an issue. Because once they are together and everything is linking then they will bind. I have a friend that married a woman 34 years his younger. I know for a fact that they are in tune with each other. Now I also know that he is more active than she and is always on the go. she has to ask him to slow down. He has been this way as long as I have known him and I have for over 20 years. Oh to mention the couple has been together for fifteen years. Has two children and they act like they were newly weds even to this day. If we all could be so lucky.
well as I said not sure I can add anything worth while but there it is.
Moundpuppy | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/7/2005 10:24:58 PM | Speaking of mates and not friends, it should be up to the two people if they harmonize and the question should end there.
However, the question does not end there. If there is a vast age difference, depending on where they live they will have to put up with wagging tongues and hurtful comments. Also the families can make this HARD. I know a woman who is 34 and dating a guy 21 and they are thinking about moving in together but the biggest thing she has to consider is his families reaction (which has not been stellar so far). Their reactions and prejudices will always affect them and if they have children, it will be even more so.
Personally, I've found that all women and most men at the age bracket of 30-35 become someone who is quite a bit different than the person they were at 20-25. So (even though that 23 yr old was H-O-T) I know for myself that I would not consider someone younger than their early 30's UNLESS they demonstrated a real maturity of experience about them. Thats just me and it works for me, doesn't have to work for anyone else. As to the other end of the spectrum? I don't want a mother or grandmother thanks, I have those. An older woman would have to be darn young in her mind and attitude and have to LIVE that attitude.
Aside from all the above, meh, it's just a number. Live long and squeak the springs till the very end. | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/9/2005 8:43:11 AM | I find that numbers do matter to many and for that I am sad...but understand it to a point.
When we were in our teens, it seemed anyone older than 29 was old and ready for the grave. As we matured, that line seemed to diminish more and more to a point, then it leveled off and continues for most of our adult lives. What I have a hard time with now....is the way nature works on us and our brains on ourselves to create the artificial barrier that exists many times.
If we stay in shape and work hard at staying active in all ways......the age thing should widen significantly and what is left is the brain side to deal with. Now we have what keeps us with a person...that sexy brain.....I just hate to lose out on those who deem me too old or tooo young to find out about that side too.
Thank you all for your input....it was very interesting.....Talk to all soon...  | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/9/2005 8:54:40 AM | @deacon.....
never said i didn't like more than brains!
brains will beat looks for me every day though! | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/10/2005 8:08:07 AM | Hot,
I know that brains and attitude will win out with you and most women on here in the end and thus it should be....but.....it was the looks that got that brain of yours going in the first place...... | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/10/2005 8:30:06 AM | @deacon......
You would be wrong there!
An example of how I do things on this site:
1) I don't cruise the profiles
2) I read what is posted
3) Should I be intrigued by what I have just read, then I proceed to their profile and read it
4) I send a note to the individual
5) I chew my nails to the quick while waiting for a response....lol | |
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| Looks and brains versus age
Posted: 4/10/2005 8:42:02 AM | Hot,
Good morning to you too....lol
I read what is there, but I also look at the pic that goes with the comments.....it gives you somewhat of a visual foundation for the comments stated. It is just like sitting at a party or night club with a group of people talking.....you look at the person as well as what they are saying and it can make all the difference in the world about the reality of those statements...... | |
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