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 GuyGallman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 101
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Speaking for myself, I do date a fair amount, but I'm looking for long term. The thing is, you date to see if there is chemistry and such, most times there isn't. So, you go on another date, it gets old. Yet, appearances are you serial date, when the reality is you can't find the love of your life to settle down with.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2009
Msg: 102
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/15/2009 11:02:43 AM
I like dating. I actually like it allot. It would be sweet to find Mr Right but I am not holding me breath or going to sit and wait in my house hoping he will drift by my door.

Seriously are you going to meet some random person and say oh I don't want to look like a serial dater so I have to stick with this person?

No ... you just have to keep on moving. Hahaha That doesn't make me a serial dater.

One thing is if men were more honest and upfront, you would have to go through a huge pile of crap to find a decent dude. But of course that is just my opinion is all

Savona
 wishingwell555
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 103
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/15/2009 6:21:27 PM

Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
I'm concerned about the serial dater types. How can you tell if someone is really trying to find a long-term relationship, or are they just addicted to the thrill of continually meeting new people?


Most times I can tell, 9 times out of 10!
They usually give themselves away quick.
 jon570
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 104
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/16/2009 4:13:58 PM
I'm not serial dating. I looking for long-term. The thing is if there is no connection you should move on and not stick around playing with the other persons emotions. They might think this is the one and you don't. That's just not right. It's not serial dating it's trying to find the right one for you. I can't speak for everyong only for myself. That how I feel.
 Blondie McBlondie
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 105
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/16/2009 4:26:46 PM
Most people BELIEVE they are looking for the one, but...if you gave truth serum to notorious serial daters, they'd answer (truthfull) "no, I am really looking for the one"!!!! Let's face it they are only fooling themselves...

I think alot of people at times in their life (myself included) tell themselves lies...not intentionally. It's hard to be objective about oneself. Me, I've really slowed down ALOT in dating & gotten extremely selective...

I am getting involved only w/ people w/ good character who are respectful. If & when it ends, it is on better terms. Is it because I've worked on me, & therefore am attracting different men???

I am definitely much less myopic when it comes to people...now I prefer to use my instincts & see what happens in real life when I socialize rather than rely on my inbox
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 106
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2009 6:53:27 PM
The only true test of virture and intent is time.
If they will not be patient and wait for you to feel comfortable with them, then they have an agenda that has nothing to do with sincerity.

This post has hung in here so long it is worth doing again.
 ladyhuntress
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 107
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2009 10:49:04 PM
[quote} I once read a theory that some people have a cycle of time they spend in a relationship. After thinking about it, certain people I know long term have a pattern of only being in a relationship for approxiately 2 or 3 years, then the relationship falls apart. Maybe some serial dates are the same, but instead of 2 or 3 years, it's 2 or 3 weeks.

I've wondered about this.......I think it's true. Heaven help the one with the 8-10 year cycle who meets up with the 2-3 year cycle.....it's tough....
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 108
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2009 2:12:38 AM

The only true test of virture and intent is time.
If they will not be patient and wait for you to feel comfortable with them, then they have an agenda that has nothing to do with sincerity.


Indeed they are usually in a big rush to get into a relationship and just as much of a rush to get out of one.. They are simply addicted to the excitement of the chase..

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 109
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2009 7:12:38 AM

If they will not be patient and wait for you to feel comfortable with them, then they have an agenda that has nothing to do with sincerity.


This is drifting back to the endless discussion about schedules and rules. If after a very few dates, like even 1, you don't feel comfortable with a person, what is the real expectation you will ever feel comfortable with them? How would the other person be able to evaluate that?

Hard as it appears for some people to believe, the other person will know whether or not you feel comfortable with them or not. If you don't, they will feel it, and draw their own conclusions about where things are going. It probably has nothing to do with agendas or sincerity, other than you own obvious lack of sincerity and your own agenda. You don't feel comfortable until you have dated 500 times, or whatever, and that is known to the other person through their own senses. So, they don't feel any forward motion, they conclude you are not interested or sincere in your interest, and they move on.

Where is the surprise?

Adults our age are always tuned in to what is going on in a relationship, albeit according to their own experiences. Insisting that they be understanding of your agenda is to me just plain silly. They don't know what your agenda is except through the feelings they get from you, and if you are not comfortable, they can only conclude that it isn't going anywhere.
 Mr. Happy, PE
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 110
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2009 12:08:44 PM
I serial date until I get into a long term relationship. When that relationship breaks up then I serial date again until another keeper comes along. Eventually I hope to find a keeper for the rest of my life but frankly, the longer and the more women I date the less likely that appears to be possible.
 HoldingHands27
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 111
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:17:06 AM
I don't really like 'dating'...
I hope my next coffee 'Date' will be my Last One...!!!
There's a ring picked-out.........
Fingers Crossed...!!!
 necron99
Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 112
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 4:26:45 AM
[quote
I'm concerned about the serial dater types. How can you tell if someone is really trying to find a long-term relationship, or are they just addicted to the thrill of continually meeting new people?


I ran into one of those (serial daters) The only way I knew it was because she told me right up front. I still gave it a try, and really did like her after a couple of dates. Was kinda odd, and kinda a sad feeling from my end tho... She also wanted long phone calls every day, even tho she was on other dating sites, and I/we had to schedule dates together around her other dates she had lined up. That really made me feel strange... Eventually I stopped calling all the time like she wanted and she told me it was over.

I always have and always will only be able to go out with one woman at a time.

But I looked at this as a lesson about other people, so in the end I grew from it. Tho I do not want to be a part of something like that (a serial dater) again. I didn't feel comfortable.


 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 113
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 8:31:22 AM

Adults our age are always tuned in to what is going on in a relationship, albeit according to their own experiences. Insisting that they be understanding of your agenda is to me just plain silly. They don't know what your agenda is except through the feelings they get from you, and if you are not comfortable, they can only conclude that it isn't going anywhere.


this is one of the wisest things i've read on this forum. it could apply to about 2 dozen different threads that have been around this year.

 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 114
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 8:42:05 AM

Insisting that they be understanding of your agenda is to me just plain silly. They don't know what your agenda is except through the feelings they get from you, and if you are not comfortable, they can only conclude that it isn't going anywhere.


Ahhh.. but usually I know what their agenda is.. Now how come I get to know while they have no clue?

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 115
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 9:04:15 AM

Ahhh.. but usually I know what their agenda is.. Now how come I get to know while they have no clue?


Well, you assume that you know what their agenda is, just as they assume they know what your agenda is. Your experience leads you to believe you know what their agenda is, but that is just a prediction. Do you really know how things are going to turn out?

Your reactions based on your assumptions will affect the outcome. There is to me nothing clearer in this situation. You, and the other person, manage the way the relationship goes in a fully interactive manner. In my own experience, there is hardly ever a social situation where the assumptions one makes are identical to the thoughts in the mind of the other person. However, you can certainly manage the thoughts of the other person through your reactions to your assumptions.

People go on and on about communication. Its well known that a key cause of communication failure is differing assumptions about other peoples motivations and agendas. Its one of the best ways to make sure you get nowhere in a relationship as fast as possible.
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 116
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 9:30:32 AM
People go on and on about communication. Its well known that a key cause of communication failure is differing assumptions about other peoples motivations and agendas. Its one of the best ways to make sure you get nowhere in a relationship as fast as possible.

Ahhh...spoken by a wise man.
Forget that communication crap.
So if I was to approach you from behind and started humping your leg what would you assume my motivation and agenda was??

Would I be a serial dater or looking for a long term relationship?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 117
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 10:59:44 AM

Would I be a serial dater or looking for a long term relationship?


Being the sort of shallow horny male that I am, I probably would not care......I would assume you are horny and that you find me to be, if not attractive, than at least handy. I would drop my roll of duct tape and embrace the moment...so to speak....
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 118
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 11:23:19 AM

People go on and on about communication. Its well known that a key cause of communication failure is differing assumptions about other peoples motivations and agendas. Its one of the best ways to make sure you get nowhere in a relationship as fast as possible.


I hope you know I was just joking my my response.. I assume nothing and ask questions when I want to know something.. Cause I can be as curious as a cat..

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 119
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 11:28:31 AM

I hope you know I was just joking my my response.. I assume nothing and ask questions when I want to know something..


Well, since I believe you made your money in sales and marketing, I would be really surprised if you were one of the "jump to a conclusion" types. That would note stand a salesman (saleswoman) in good stead!
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 120
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 6:27:11 PM
So if I was to approach you from behind and started humping your leg what would you assume my motivation and agenda was??

Would I be a serial dater or looking for a long term relationship?

Noooooooo.... it could be u had an itch and had just done ur nails and didnt want to mess up ur nail polish?????

LOL WINK
 HoldingHands27
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 121
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2009 9:35:46 AM
To each - their own....
Personally, I'm looking for a Long-term, loving Partnership..!!
If it takes 4 0r 5 'dates'...O-K...
If the ~Two-Way~ chemistry is right with the very next lady I meet, so much the better..!!
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 122
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2009 9:43:22 AM
It's easy to find out if someone is a serial dater or seeking a long-term. A serial dater usually tells to meet people for fun because serial daters lack fun in their lives.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 123
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2009 9:49:56 AM

Personally, I'm looking for a Long-term, loving Partnership..!!
If it takes 4 0r 5 'dates'...O-K...


My goodness do you think you would know in 4 or 5 dates? Or were you thinking you might have to date 4 or 5 people before coming across the right one?

I think you might have to date quite a number of people before finding the one just right for you. You just have to hope it does not go into the 3 digit numbers.

thecatsmeoww
 123carrie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 124
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Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2009 11:27:17 AM
I'm searching for the man who will become my "last 'first' date". But until that happens, I am open to meeting multiple men and enjoying dating each of them, without the desire to become an FWB....
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 125
Are They Serial Dating or Seeking a Long-Term Relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2009 1:21:49 PM
I think that even a confirmed serial dater will fall victim to an LTR, if and when (s)he meets the right person. I believe that there are VERY few people in this world that would choose to spend their lives without ever having a meaningful romantic relationship and, the few that do feel that way, are not immune to falling in love. When you meet the right person, you're views on many things can change. I know it has happened to me a few times when I was adamant that I had no desire to be in a serious relationship.

But this is just my take on it.
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