| Would you tell the wife?
Posted: 12/1/2006 12:26:45 PM | harmonyxxx,I ain't a married man,but I'm looking for a married gal so we can have fun then I can run tell her husband I had fun with his wifeee....Wooo weee!!!
Are you married?  | |
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| Would you tell the wife?
Posted: 12/1/2006 12:48:19 PM |
Furthermore, are you judging me for MY MORALS? or for just having some?
I'm simply saying that what you value or believe, may not be what others value or believe, so telling other people they are without morals, or making comments designed to put people down and try to make people feel less than you, is simply ridiculous.....
You may want to have the woman tell you and hear every assorted detail of whatever the nature of the contact was (whether there was sex, just talk or a simple drink/coffee) but not everyone shares that same appreciation......
You started a thread asking for people's thoughts on a topic, so be prepared that people may not share the same thoughts as you on the subject.
Do you think he'd suddenly turn responsible and tell you?
You judged he wouldn't, so why would I expect anything?? (*smirks*)
we don't always get a choice in how we learn something
Absolutely agreeable.... We don't always choose how we learn something. But in this particular case, you have a choice in how you decide to impact a complete stranger's life beyond ways you would have initially dreamed. Because you see, once you've said your piece - you're out that door and don't have to deal with the pieces of someone you've just shattered.... You dust off your hands and pat yourself on the back thinking you've met your moral quota of the day...... | |
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| Would you tell the wife?
Posted: 12/1/2006 1:11:03 PM | You're absolutely right, broken. I do expect feedback that's why I posted the topic. I don't doubt others have vastly different opinions and that's what makes us all different.
If everyone agreed, it wouldn't be a discussion now would it?
The underlying tone is....if you were approached by someone who pretended they were single and in fact suceeded in betraying not just one person (his/her spouse) but also another innocent person (you), would you be capable of telling the wife?.
That's the question I originally asked. I don't judge anyone for their response to a hypothetical question. I would hope anyone would follow their heart and do what THEY felt was appropriate for THEM...not anyone else.
I say, yes I would tell. That's my feelings about it and my right. If that's a moral quota....so be it.
Maybe if you were the wife in such a situation, you may have different feelings about it. There's always other shoes to put on. Walk a mile in 'em. I did. I've been on both sides of this issue. Both times, did what I needed to do. I don't regret a thing. | |
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| Would you tell the wife?
Posted: 12/1/2006 2:03:55 PM | if you were approached by someone who pretended they were single and in fact suceeded in betraying not just one person (his/her spouse) but also another innocent person (you), would you be capable of telling the wife?.
Everyone is capable and able, the question is would they?
The other issue is that if I was feeling betrayed, I'd deal with feeling that betrayal myself and involving someone else (the wife) because you want retribution isn't healthy either.
Maybe if you were the wife in such a situation, you may have different feelings about it. There's always other shoes to put on. Walk a mile in 'em. I did. I've been on both sides of this issue. Both times, did what I needed to do. I don't regret a thing.
Don't assume my position is because you think I lack the experience...... | |
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| Would you tell the wife?
Posted: 12/1/2006 2:15:04 PM | Everyone is capable and able, the question is would they?
No, you are mistaken. Some people aren't capable, maybe physically but not mentally nor emotionally. They are void in those feelings. It happens.
Don't assume my position is because you think I lack the experience......
You are assuming I made a call that I didn't. I said "MAYBE IF" didn't I? But you do seem touchy about it. I am making no assumptions about you. I am NOT judging you...You are the one making the personal comments and the one taking this topic personally, not me. I have a clean conscience. It's all good....for me anyway. Feels good too.
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| Would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/15/2007 2:13:55 PM | | Wow, a lot of screwed up women here i see, good some women here dont want to make trouble that they would have helped create in the first place . Big nose ,no good , judgemental people some sound like. I like piece and hapiness, not drama and retared women bent on revenge, grow up. | |
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| Would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/15/2007 3:27:13 PM | Oh you ain't got a clue one......, rolly.
If you like "piece and hapinness" first learn how to spell it.
People who truly want peace and happiness, first and foremost don't cheat on the one person who loves them most in this world, who vowed to give their life in partnership to them. People who want only love and joy in their life, don't deliberately hurt their next of kin, the ones they are supposed to love.
I stand by my word and my honor is above reproach. I will not let a man pull me down from what I must protect because in this world .......it's all I have. Vindictive....well trick me and we'll find out. Does this make me "skrewed up" ?
Maybe someday, you'll understand what I'm sayin'.....until then, buck it up lil brother, one day, when the person you love yanks your world out from under ya, you'll know what I'm talkin' about a bit better. Peace and Happiness, you say....I wish you all the peace and happiness you deserve, when it happens to YOU ! Peace and happiness will be so far from your reach, you'll beg for death instead, my friend.
That is if you have a heart at all, maybe you don't. But you better have smarts, and be well warned, there ARE women who will beat you to your doorstep and tell your wife, maybe you'll think twice about trickin' a "screwed up" woman. Don't do it because you THINK we're crazy...but because you KNOW we are. But your wife will understand why we did it. You can deal with her wrath, not mine at that point. Don't play with our head, little man because a cheater is weak. very weak in the first place and ya did it to yourself. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/15/2007 3:35:04 PM | I'm in the odd position of being married and being allowed to play. Definitely not the same as most marriages. So if someone felt like talking to my wife, she'd simply ask "so how was it?"
But, I'd never, ever do something dishonest and not tell the person up front.
Any guy, or girl who does that, lies and cheats, deserves to have all the hell cut loose on them that can be. I'd have no qualms about telling the spouse. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/15/2007 4:19:50 PM | | I'm not sure I would tell a womans husband, because, as much as I hate to say this, it IS their business and none of mine. (although by propositioning me, I suppose they are making it my business as a third party) I actually get more mail from married women than anyone else, to the point where I had to change my mail settings. I never went on a quest to find their husbands, but i have, on occassion, suggested they divorced their husband and stop wasting both of their lives together. Cold? Maybe... but it just seems so wasteful and hurtful to me, especially when that man could be out there on the market when the perfect one comes along instead of saying, "no thanks, I'm married" while his wife is getting her f**k on with a web aquaintence. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/15/2007 5:49:21 PM | | Well Astropants and Call Me J, you do have some inklin' of what I'm sayin'. Tho I wouldn't have an open marriage, I do understand alot do.....as long as there's mutual respect, that's all that matters. Astro ~ Don't be tricked and loose your hard earned self respect. Cuz it'll be hard pressed as it is to hold on what dignity you have. You, as well as alot of men do have good morals. Hold on to 'em...don't let a woman rob ya of 'em...EVER. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:45:29 PM | | I'm all for any woman contacting a misleading man's wife, if she can do so w/o reproach. Now, if you slept w/him before you call. I'd have to wonder for your character, and would have to wonder even more for hers if she sensed that you'd be calling her, Ultimately you'd be doing her a favor for communicating his whereabouts and intentions in align w/ his seeking to break his vows. Ultimately, if you're worth the trouble that he though he'd slide into and through w/o reproach from you, I'd let him have it ...even it's more work than he may deserve for yours. She may not want or like to hear from you either, but someone has to do the right thing if right things are to keep happening in this crazy world of ours. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/15/2007 9:28:17 PM | i don't think I'd take on tracking down a married man's wife to disclose his infidelity. but neither would i choose to get involved with him...i don't need that kind of bad mojo complicating my life. my personal opinion, if two people have fallen out of love or can't turn each other on anymore...move on, don't entrap each other out of some twisted social or familial sense of obligation. if the love, compassion & trust have become so meaningless to one or both spouses, what is left in an empty shell of a marriage to hold onto?
now if both partners are comfortable with an open relationship as suggested by other posters above, i'm all for that. by definition, open relationships are honest and founded on absolute trust. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:17:36 PM |
now if both partners are comfortable with an open relationship as suggested by other posters above, i'm all for that. by definition, open relationships are honest and founded on absolute trust.
Exactly.
It's also a reason why a lot of people couldn't and shouldn't try opening a relationship up. That level of honesty and trust is very rare, and without it, an open relationship would likely become a broken relationship. Same reason lots of people say 3somes hurt a relationship. That's only the case if there wasn't the trust and security in the relationship.
But if that security is there, it can be an amazing type of relationship. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/16/2007 2:54:40 AM | In my humble opinion: It would serve no purpose. If a spouse is so clueless and blind to a cheating partner, being told is not going to convince them either.
In my first marriage my wife cheated on me. No one had to tell me, I knew it the instant it happened and every time it happened. Having someone tell me would have been nothing more than a bitter reminder of what I already knew.
Any man or woman who believes they can get away with dating outside a marriage and not have the spouse find out is seriously deficient in cerebral function. There is just too much of a paper trail (if you want to call it that) for an affair to go un-noticed by the other half. They may not want to accept it, but they ALWAYS know what's going on and either tolerate it, end it, or ... do it themselves to get even. I choose the latter.
The answer I give you is, No. Telling the wife/husband/partner serves no function other than to irritate an existing wound in a relationship. If you see a person lying on the side of the road beaten and battered would you go to that person and say "I'll make you feel better by kicking you again?" Of course not. Only a total jerk and pervert would do such a thing.
Learn from the experience, keep it to yourself, and move along. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/16/2007 9:57:57 AM | Clueless and Blind... it could also be trusting in their spouse, not doubting them, believing that they would be true and honest. They most certainly do not always know something is going on.
Telling the person can be a wake up call, showing the problem that is there.
A person who is with a cheater and knows it, as you were, well, to me that's just plain stupid. Unless you simply don't care, but if it caused a problem then for gods sake get the hell out of the situation. The only bitter reminder from someone telling you each time your spouse cheated would be that it pointed out that you stayed in the situation... | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:16:14 AM | I think if a woman just met the guy and never had sex with him she'd probley tell.
But if the new girl became more involved and was sleeping with the guy, she'd be more likely to compete and try and keep the guy for herself once she found out. Woman are not that loyal when their hearts involved. | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:54:42 AM | | are you saying women are loyal? that's why when my ex and I broke up, her friends where hitting on me left and literaly right! all the sex stories she told them were about backfire to my advantage. no im sorry ive seen the other girl try and make sense of the boyfriends wife, situation. Just by them staying long enough to become jealous tells me there is no loyalty between women. Face it its true. what you dont do a girl down the street WILL do! married or not. I used to wear a ring on my wedding ring finger and I still got hit on! | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 146 | |
| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:14:22 PM | ^^^get over yourself and don't judge all women by what your ex did. And, you're not the only one to experience being hit on despite the fact you're wearing a wedding band....geez!
OP: I've never been 'tricked' into meeting a married man before, but if I was...it is not my place to tell his wife he's on the prowl...who knows WHAT his situation is at home. Perhaps his wife is out meeting ppl too? Just my opinion... | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:21:09 PM |
are you saying women are loyal? that's why when my ex and I broke up, her friends where hitting on me left and literaly right! all the sex stories she told them were about backfire to my advantage. no im sorry ive seen the other girl try and make sense of the boyfriends wife, situation. Just by them staying long enough to become jealous tells me there is no loyalty between women. Face it its true. what you dont do a girl down the street WILL do! married or not. I used to wear a ring on my wedding ring finger and I still got hit on!
Yes I am saying I AM LOYAL !
Well tear it up ! Have at it.
Oh and I'm sure ever'woman in the universe is after ya, aren't they?...what a shame, no rest for ya these days. You just can't hide from 'em all. If they ain't chasin' ya there talkin' 'bout how hot ya are. It's in your MIND buckaroo ! ! right and literally LEFT ~!
Like another poster said ....."get over yourself !"
I don't worry about the way other women act or don't act. I am accountable for my own actions and the consequences of my actions, whether intentional of trickery. I will do my best to make things right. I can't claim to uphold loyalty for another woman, but I do know that I am loyal and will not expect anything less from a man. It's simple really.
Temptation? So? Ain't no biggee if ya love someone.
Are ya now gonna say you're afraid you might get raped? Well take the shirtless pics off the internet then. Isn't that what they tell women? Oh no...that's because we aren't "loyal". | |
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| Tricked into meeting a married man, would you tell the wife?
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:45:30 AM | Morally you should.
But people don't always react logically. Either the wife or husband might not react properly AKA- violence towards you. Sure a person might get in trouble with violence, but that's after it has occured.
So make sure you think of all of the possibilites first. Glad I don't have to make that decision.
*knock on wood* | |
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Fizzzy
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Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 149 | |
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