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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/22/2006 3:51:22 PM | | maybe its not the fact that you're in a wheelchair. you're a cute guy, i dont think the wheelchair thing should be a part of it, however the world we live in is really critical. maybe it's something that you're doing. im not sure. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:08:53 PM | The chairs are the same as the scars on the face as the bad set of teeth as the bad hairdo as the ........................................ so on and on and on.
We all limit what we see when we look at people. I limit myself to live ladies.
The point is that in the limitations of people you meet, do you limit them because you limit yourself?
If you limit yourself then you will have limited success finding people to accept you as a whole person. Been there done that too.
I strive to be a whole lot better than I was a few minutes ago.
Martial arts teaches you to be totally adaptive, Mountian climbing in the style I practice you can not afford to make a mistake. You are 100 feet off the deck, you have good wall, and no lines of protection if you slip and fall. You are all your own on the face of it, and you will be all your own when you step down or fall and go splat, but I have faith that I am not alone ever, that my GOD is with me, Christian climbers are few and far between, risk management is a higher order of things for the average climber. Christians try to advoid risk if they can help it, IMhumbleO. Most people can not do what I do. It is for the elite and the crazy and the totally together folks that can climb free style no ropes. I am working on my slack chain, balancing, but I know I am not that good yet. I don't have the fear of death and that gives me an edge that most climbers still need to get in the zone with, but not fearing death does not mean I risk death, just that I know if I die, oh well, better luck next time...... smiles, yeah that is a joke.....
I have been in a wheelchair, broken ankle, I have been unable to move for 5 days, blood clots, I have gone 5 days with only 1 quart of water a day, survival training in a desert environment, full immersion, ( real thing training, means you do it, and hack it ).
I am not the best guy for most ladies. I am totally abnormal to most females. Okay, next lady please.
Get on with life, it is not standing still waiting for you, you have to get on the train to get out of town, or walk a lot, or drive, but standing still in not an option, ( science fiction it might be, but we are trying the real here ).
Good luck OP< and keep on, they will find you, just be patient a bit longer.
To metalic Blue.....
Dude I have seen your other posts, mayeb we need to debate somewhere, life verses crassness.... I am open on satuday 2nd of december, meet me at Trinity Lutheran Church North Little Rock, at 8 am, I'll be there, you can bring your groupies. we can debate life or crassness the world in a popcorn bag.
Charles,
Muse to the cat, and the dog that sleeps all day. Muse to the cheesecake he has yet to make, muse to amuse the fans of the man in black and the guy in white. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:28:11 PM | | It's a "self" thing. Women believe that because you, (or some other man), are confined to a wheelchair, you, (and other men in wheelchairs), aren't capable of independence and providing them with their every need and want. I don't agree with that, personally. Women marry men all the time, and they often become their first child. How one gets around is one thing, but the strength of a man's mind is another...don't let the shallow women get you down! | |
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~Joy~
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Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 30 | |
| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:39:35 PM | I think it is hard for someone to let themselves get involved with someone with a handicap. I have just made friends with a man in a wheel chair that lives probably 30 miles from me. I plan to go and meet him sometime soon. He lives in a great place that is wheel chair friendly, his apartment is made to scale..meaning that all his cabnets are reachable, and his bathroom is w/c friendly and he can take care of himself. This guy can stand for a minute, but cannot walk...but has great upper body strength...He has a car but cannot drive it, but keeps it insured so people can take him where he needs to go. He even has a swimming pool in the complex where he lives, and says he gets some good exercise. I think I could handle a relationship...it might be hard because I would have to do all the driving...but I wouldn't throw someone away because they are in a chair...but I wouldn't date one either just for pity sake either...there would have to be a connection, just like with an able bodied guy.
I think if you allow yourself to be open to most females, you will find one who finds you interesting and would want to date you. Be patient. You seem like you rock man. Good luck.
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/22/2006 10:42:05 PM | A tangential but meaningful story.
Earlier I brought up that I used to run an archery range, and eventually the guy who took the range over from me was confined to a wheelchair. His body was confined, but not his spirit, his mind or his emotions.
One day when I was away from the range, the staff in charge were approached about letting a blind girl shoot. A lot of people were there that day (about 200--a lot of archery games and fun), so the range-marshal had to weigh very carefully the safety of the range vs the needs of the individual.
Marioun, the range-marshal, decided to go ahead, with close supervision. The blind girl (I wish I could remember her name) hit the 20yrd target in 3 arrows. I wasn't there to witness it but apparently the smile she showed was so wonderous it brought tears to everyones eyes. When Marioun told me about it later, she was crying with gladness.
For those out there that think the disabled are a drag or inconvenient, please note that often in the strangest of places are buried the most unique gifts--gifts for the rest of us to enjoy.
Just comes down to learning how to unwrap everyones special gifts.
ss | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/22/2006 11:09:42 PM | TUPHIVE: Love your outlook on life......And I totally agree you are just as attractive the best I've seen on POF thus far,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,GEORGIA GURL | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/22/2006 11:26:27 PM | i spent 8 months in a wheelchair and i used a walker for about 6 months, then a cane.......i never even noticed guys not lookin at me because of my limits...cause they DID still look at me......and i am sure girls still look at you with interest too regardless of tha chair....they just arent as noticible as you need them to be ......... but keep working on yer wonderful inner man and he will continue to shine thru, leaving that chair in tha shadows............. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/23/2006 4:26:41 AM |
You want honesty, MetallicBlue, since you seem to relish handing it out - or rather, your own smug version of it:
Where in Wheels original post do you infer he thinks he’s a victim? Since it’s not in there, it must be coming from your clever little head... In other words, it’s a projection. The guy’s got a handicap, a visible one. To judge from this and other of your posts, so do you. Only yours is not, apparently, physical.
Are you talking? You've so pinned me down! Go pick up your viagra prescription. 
To metalic Blue.....
Dude I have seen your other posts, mayeb we need to debate somewhere, life verses crassness.... I am open on satuday 2nd of december, meet me at Trinity Lutheran Church North Little Rock, at 8 am, I'll be there, you can bring your groupies. we can debate life or crassness the world in a popcorn bag.
That's quite a hike! I'd love to debate you. I'll bring my groupies, you bring the popcorn, and pokemon cards.
i spent 8 months in a wheelchair and i used a walker for about 6 months, then a cane.......i never even noticed guys not lookin at me because of my limits...cause they DID still look at me......and i am sure girls still look at you with interest too regardless of tha chair....they just arent as noticible as you need them to be ......... but keep working on yer wonderful inner man and he will continue to shine thru, leaving that chair in tha shadows.............
I absolutely agree. Let me share a little something about myself that I haven't told anyone here on POF. I was in a wheel chair for quite awhile because of my Chronic Lyme Disease, which I'm still dealing with. Like the OP, I ended up disabled due to factors I didn't cause. He is in a wheel chair perhaps because of injury, I was in a wheel chair because I was bitten by a deer tick while camping and the infection went undiagnosed for nearly 2 decades.
Moving on: I absolutely "hated" using the chair and the cane, but I never once even considered it as a hinderance during dating. Let me explain further. When I was hospitalized in 2004, I was super sick, I couldn't walk much, I couldn't really do anything. I was wheeled around in a chair a lot. At any rate there was this nurse who took care of me, and she'd sit and talk with me for hours [she wasn't supposed to]. I thought she was pretty cute so I told her I wanted to contact her once out of the hospital and maybe...."you know...wink wink". She ended up giving me her contact information.
The OP seems like a fantastic guy, so I have no doubt at all that he'll read between the lines regarding my initial advice, in-fact I know it will help him. Most of the time, when I post -- I'm not always stating the obvious, my intent is often specifically and only to engage the OP, and others who aren't aware of approach I use find it cutting edge deep, rude, or even arrogant. Sometiems I'm confrontational, sometimes sympathetic, and sometimes humorous, directive, or analytical. While I'm not trained as a therapist, people have different needs, and once you've spent enough time listening and talking to people -- you discover after awhile that certain tools inspire and help someone overcome a mental obstacle or a perception they held about themselves. Sometimes I've told people "You can't" -- when in reality I knew they could. It pissed them off, and usually anyone close to them, or who happened to be within range of the conversation. Was it right or wrong? Neither -- it was a tool. Something that simple can change a persons life. Had I pat the same person on the back and said "Yeah, you're awesome, you'll do great." -- it wouldnt' have worked because the person believed inside that they couldn't, even though they may have "known" cognitively that they could. Beliefs are powerful, and anger is a powerful motivator. Sometimes taking the focus off themselves, and puttng their anger on me or another [person, place, or thing] -- gives them the power and strength to prove me wrong, or at least they think they are proving me wrong.
Helping people sometimes means being disliked. Sometimes it means being loved. If you sincerely are interested in helping someone, you don't make decisions in order to achieve either. You just create the circumstances, thoughts and beliefs that will produce the desired result that the person who is asking for advice or help is trying to create. It doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes words or concepts resonate for years before it helps the individual suddenly go "A-ha" - and sometimes, it's instantaneous. Everyone wants an instant fix, to be pat on the back, and to be taken care of and to be "fixed" -- and none of those are "wrong" -- but they aren't always realistic based on what you "need" at that specific moment. The circumstances of people's lives are complex, as are the people themselves.
The OP's profile, attitude, and general behavior reflect a really amazing person who "will" overcome this tiny obstacle regarding his dating situation and his view of the wheel chair. I can say this now, because I've already accomplished what I intended when I wrote the original post, and I know he'll have read that before stumbling onto this post. The fact is, the wheel chair isn't holding him hostage, and neither is he. There is "nothing" he is actually doing that is causing his dating dry spell. He has all the characteristics which women will appreciate -- what he's going thru, every single guy goes thru, and it's important the OP realize his chair isn't responsible, but for someone who has spent awhile in a wheel chair, he may not know that. He may assume the chair is the cause and believe it's the cause. I assure you, he'll challenge that belief now.
Continue moving forward OP the way you have, you need. You will meet and date women shortly, all you need to do from this point forward is believe it's true. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/23/2006 4:53:19 AM | MetallicBlue
Are you talking? Go pick up your viagra prescription.
My age somehow offends you? You measure your own and other men’s worth by the length of time they can sustain a h*rd-on? | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/23/2006 4:57:41 AM |
My age somehow offends you? You measure your own and other men’s worth by the length of time they can sustain a h*rd-on?
Personally, I could probably use some viagra myself. Care to share? | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/24/2006 8:14:47 AM |  metallic....i've read yer post before..an loved what ya had ta say...but with this one...i gotta tell ya...ya just grew 10 ft tall in my eyes... i understand 'zactly what yer sayin here an i agree totally! yer now on my list of fav's! | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 11/24/2006 12:36:52 PM | If there was passion, good communication, humor and respect, monogamy, and trust, I don't care if your in a stinkin' bubble! My heart is open to loving careing honest people.....but there (to me) needs to be something when we look into each others eyes...) | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 12/14/2006 11:55:47 PM | | There are those of us in the world that see more then just the physical and there are those of us that these things do not matter. Keep searching AND DON'T GIVE UP! | |
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sonata
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Joined: 10/19/2005
Msg: 40 | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 12/15/2006 12:39:31 AM | If you are in a wheelchair; then, you need to be VERY specific in your profile about what your 'skills' are. Promote your positive attributes, so that someone can envision your potential.
Otherwise, people just assume the worst. (If you know what I mean.)
Carry on and good luck~! :) | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 12/27/2006 1:52:39 AM | | Well darlin....everything takes some getting use to...maybe people just have to see your for how great you are before they let the idea of the wheel chair bug them? I don't know how to answer your thread, but from the lenght of time i've been talking to you I've gotta say you seem like a top-notch guy and someone will see that eventually. Anywoo........good luck ! | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 12/27/2006 2:00:51 AM | Your problem is that you are trying to live in the wider world and not the wheelchair world.
In the wheeelchair world guys like you attract girls with a wheelchir fetish.
Thats why the paralimpics ran out of comdoms just as fast as the regular olympics did. Eveyone with a fetish about amputees or wheelchairs descended on the place.
In the wider world that lump of metal teuns the girls off no matte how good a guy you are. | |
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BR27
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Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 12/27/2006 2:10:43 AM | hey everyone its wheels27 i deleted my old profile but im back. Ive never heard of a wheelchair world where girls have a wheelchair fetish? Thanks to everyone for the information and for replying to my thread i look forward to reading more Happy New year everyone | |
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DEEASM
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Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 46 | |
| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 12/27/2006 2:36:11 PM | | SOME OF US DO/HAVE , I PERSONALY HAD A BLOKE WHO HAD A LEG REMOVED BELOW THE KNEE, JUST DIDNT WORK OUT THOUGH AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE MISSING LIMB , IF YOU FIND THE RIGHT PERSON THEN APPERANCE DOESNT COME INTO IT AT LEAST IT SHOULDN'T | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 1/6/2007 4:31:58 PM | | Hey Probably cause these women are afraid. If I knew you and knew what you looked like and Knew what your heart was like on the inside and by the inside I mean is your heart beautiful and then I liked you I wouldn't care about the chair hon | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 1/6/2007 10:29:45 PM |
hey everyone its wheels27 i deleted my old profile but im back. Ive never heard of a wheelchair world where girls have a wheelchair fetish?
They are out there, but you have to be careful. They tend to be attracted to the disability and not the person. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:47:20 AM | Someone wrote earlier: "I think the problem is that alot of people just see the "wheel chair" and don't bother to look beyond that."
YEP!!! That is very true.
Not out in the world, neccessarly, because then the personality shines out!
But here on a dating site? Yep, I believe they "see the chair" and don't bother to look beyond that.
And nope, it's not me feeling sorry for myself when I say that!
Lord have mercy, I have never felt sorry for myself due to this chair.
Life goes on! And life can be wonderfully fun! | |
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