| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:17:49 PM | This would be interesting if you turned the title around to "Would men date a woman in a wheelchair?"
I don't think many would respond positively mainly because, from what I've learned about men, they have an image of what their ideal woman needs to look like. And most would not view her in a wheelchair. Just saying.
So OP please put the 'feeling sorry for myself' card away and try and focus on what makes you special.
BTW there was a guy who used to be at the coffee shop where I went and he was in a wheelchair. I would have happily gone out with him as I found him attractive. He never asked me. So it wasn't about the wheelchair rather about the guy.
I've always said if I'm attracted to someone then I'm attracted. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:33:10 PM | | hi... I would have to say that relationships are hard at best and dating someone in a wheelchair ~seems~ like it would be even harder.. even if it were just for the fact that it would be very unfamiliar to most people, perhaps they may feel that they just do not have the energy to even go there <<< I think this would be it for me... I find it near impossible to find The ONE too so I can relate with you in that 90% of men do not want to date me either... 10% is not a lot but maybe quality is more important.... blessings for happiness OP | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:53:04 PM | On a serious note...........
The sense I get from women is.............
Feeling sorry for yourself is more crippling, relationship-wise
Than any wheelchair ever could! | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:28:50 PM | I met few people their partner on a wheel chair 3 young men with pretty girls on dancing places and an older woman in a wheel chair with a man...
Yes I will marry a man in a Wheel chair....
I was invited at a Pilipino birthday party, I met the Uncle of a co worker who is married to a caucasian ,we Asian thinks that a white woman is beautiful. lol. And the man is wheelchair bound his arms/hands are like a child hand , due to a car accident , and the lady was his caregiver ,he finance her schooling to be a teacher and married her. The mother of the man said to me that she prayed that someone will marry her son and take care of him because she was already old,she can not take care of him, but really, she want someone to love her son...... And his wife was so loving to him, very attentive to all his needs....... I don't see him as a helpless person though he was in a wheelchair ,his arms are withered, what I see is a very intelligent and kind man, and I feel good while I was talking to him... So nothing is impossible, in praying--- Ask and you shall recieve, and give something back... Have you read some book of Louise Hay ? | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:30:42 PM | Most genuine people dont look at the person per say but what is inside of the person.
However it goes both ways.
So I guess it would depend on what the person in the Wheelchair is looking for themselves. Is the person in the wheelchair looking beyond looks themselves and at the person. Or is the person in the whelchair also going only by looks too? | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:56:43 PM |
Im a 27 yr old male that is in a wheelchair and it seems like 90% of women im interested in either say they just want to be my friend or they say im not there type. Now i know that im not every girls type and yes i know im not attractive to all women but come on there has to be another reason. I would really like other peoples opinions on this subject and i would like everyone to be honest even if it hurts my feelings. Thanks and hope to here from everyone soon.
Back in the summer of '83 I dated a gal who was disabled. She had a smile that just lit up a room. I just really liked her a lot and
I'd go over and wash her Camaro for her and such and take her with me to events and just really enjoyed her very much. She was from Palm Springs and yet Lee Ann just really had a spirit that was incredible. I admit we didn't take it any farther than that; yet, that was not because she was disabled there is more to it than that; in fact, you have an advantage because of your situation you will already screen out the superficial right off the bat (I have a huge disability that has deteriorated more and more with yrs. I am legally blind and so I have that same advantage that you have and that is no gal is going to really give me too many looks it is going to have to xmit heart-to-heart or it is not going to happen). My skin also has lots of troubles as well and a few other set-backs as well.
In any case, because of our friendship, LeeAnn actually desired to go on a mission for our church, which she did do to Florida where she was called as a missionary to serve for 18 months. Before that we went to a 4th of July event & we talked about things like country, God, and many aspects of academics where we were both attending one of the largest private Universities in America.
Actually, before all of this, I had been a van driving for a few yrs at a Jr. College xporting disabled students (of all physical limitations) to and from campus as a way to earn some money to go to a larger private University. Because of that experience I had the opportunity to be around many of all types of disabilities whether it was their eyesight, deafness, mangled bodies (like Lee Ann) that was like a car with a twisted frame when they walked in a very difficult fashion from one place to the other, and a lot of them were in wheelchairs who were not mobile whatsoever. I can tell you they are some of the most cheerful, happy, and positive people I have ever been around. I just really grew to love them all. I have stories that would correlate with the great spirits they were far above in so many ways those who have it pretty easy and don't realize it with their well functioning bodies w/o maladies that confine during this brief mortal sojourn here on earth.
Because of your disability you will compensate with other aspects which will rise to the occasion with your incredible spirit as well and you will attract someone very special to you as you radiate what another will feel that will affect in a way not thought possible before if you try and use human logic. Human logic doesn't really work with love either if you think about it. There is a plan for you and don't stop believing and see the advantage of your situation as I have to also look at things that way as well. Start to do things most people will not do. Like smile and say Hello to others. Notice things about another and complement something and see ways to edify others around you and you will find many will forget you are even in a wheelchair because your atmosphere will refine their attitude and actions.
With afflictions we develop an indomitable spirit! No one cared that Sammy Davis Jr had a glass eye. In fact, many would pay
millions for it just because it was in Sammy Davis' eye socket. Becoming who you were meant to be puts the inestimable worth
on you that is unique under all the creations of heaven. You are someone that no one else will ever be and come with unique
gifts and talents no one else has. It all starts with your vitality of heart and mind and the vivified, vitalized, living belief will
revitalize the world! (and especially your world!)
You will see! (even though I don't see too well)
Very Truly,
T.W. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:01:46 PM | They're selfish and self centered thinking "what can he do for me" and probably conclude a man in a wheel chair can't do as much for them as someone without one.
Don't give up. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:22:40 PM | Aweeee, something you just have to accept and don't use ya situation for sympathy votes.
You have a great spirit am sure the right one will come along. Cheers! | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:45:58 PM | | When I was using a cane due to feet problem and had a limp. Infection on foot due to diabetes. I felt like a handicaped person by the way people reacted, slowed down, held doors open and walked around me. I felt like I had the pleague. I would think it would be hard for someone to adjust thier life to meet my pace. But if they truely were I imagine I would of found someone really worthwhile. I suggest you dont be concerned about all those that seem to reject you but that needle in the haystack. The fact is people are lucky to find one or two people in a lifetime who are truely wonderful. I see your point, less of a pool to date due to prejudices. Its similar to exclusions due to preferences, your just working with an extra one, not fair but a reality of life. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:25:08 AM | | Op...isn't intersting how 90% of women are not interested and yet this thread has them coming out of the woodwork in self rightous indignation pointing fingers and hurling insults at the 90%....i'm sure you know by now how to tell when people are blowing smoke...i'm sure you will find a woman who will accept you....just don't give up. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:21:46 AM | | We live in a visual society where looks are everything and on -line dating it is 90% looks and 10%personality. People on line do not give people a chance to know a person because it is a shallow place to meet people. People on line are often not real and they lie about who they are. You are real because you can't lie or hide that you are a wheel chair. Its not you, its the phoney and artificial people on line. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:45:05 AM | Untrue, its how you view yourself and how well enough you are able to break through a woman;s thought of what kind of man she needs. I have dated and been extremely attracted to some disabled men. I almost married one, and the wheelchair was nothing but an extension of them. One had full capacity of his package and the other one didnt, one was on crutches and the other one with a cane and disabled left side of his body but full package use. They all blew my mind, body and heart away. They all dealt with self image problems and made me feel inferior at one point.
The first guy in a wheel chair had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. He did not have a picture in his profile when I was dating him, but he sure knew how to work me up verbally and emotionally. I remember he said I am gonna climb into your heart and make you love me. The day I met him I walked into his house, his mother greeted me (half smile, she hated me because she thought I would break his heart, but I found out later that she dealt with guilt because he was a product of first cousins) and I was taken a back a bit by his appearance, but I closed my eyes and remembered hey this is the man I fell for, and he blew my mind/body afterwards which made it real to me. We dated for 4 months. I found out he did medical marijuana and hung around a bad crowd, used to be a gang banger so he was limited to areas of the city he could not go into (my part of town), he did his aunt in the past (I was NOT happy to hear this as we bumped into her often) and when my dog died he was less then empathetic. When I broke up with him we remained friends for a while and his mother was more then adamant we get back and she wanted us to marry and leave us the house, yada yada, but damage was already done.
The one with the cane was an older gentle man who used to be a diamond chef, world renowned, who used to be a player, had it all, and lost it all after a mountain climbing accident. We had passionate encounters, but he would turn hateful as soon as I was not around. When we were together all was great, I could even see myself long term with him, but I didn't want to be locked in with him, during what I thought would be a long recovery. I figured it would be healthy for him to date and meet other women, and begin to heal himself, before jumping into an exclusive relationship. He wanted to use me as a crutch and a battering bag for his emotions. I refused. Just because of my facebook friends, he stated do you love all of them (4,ooo plus) the way you do me, if so you are a whore, all you were good for was bla bla.. and i didnt even like it.. bla bla.. Right. So I blocked him and refused his calls. He still tries to send me a mssg, but I think he is beyond help.
So its not that women are not attracted to you, its what you have to offer. The first example he was educated working on his masters, had a great job with benefits, and held his own on many levels, ate out like no other, etc. The last example if he wasn't so hung over his past and his accident and how he lost it all, and life wasn't worth living, a real libido killer because he couldnt get past his self loathing and pitty, so his diamond status, his accolades, his newspaper clippings were not his present but trophies of what he used to be. He refused to live in the present and give to others via teaching or do something productive besides anger, fear, and resentment. So once again, being in a wheelchair does not confine you as a man and a possible mate, it just means you have to look for a nurturing open minded partner who is willing to grow with you, as a person. When you dream, do you dream you can fly, or do you dream confined?
A warm embrace,
Taty
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:50:50 AM | I also dated a skateboarder once in San Diego. He was always hung up about me not looking like a Barbie. I asked him once (and I was 19 at the time), if I became disfigured through an accident and was wheelchair bound would you care about me, versus if I gained weight and never looked like the Barbie you wanted. He took wheelchair bound response. I broke up with him. His new girlfriend who was 16 dumped him a month later because he was jobless. Karma is beautiful.  So I think women are more apt to date disabled or wheelchair bound men then men are to date a disabled woman. Turning the post around have any males dated a disabled woman? (crickets) ok. case in point.  | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:05:32 PM | Op...isn't intersting how 90% of women are not interested and yet this thread has them coming out of the woodwork in self rightous indignation pointing fingers and hurling insults at the 90%....i'm sure you know by now how to tell when people are blowing smoke
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I would say more than 90%. And that's all it is...just one big smokescreen. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:17:40 PM |
Im a 27 yr old male that is in a wheelchair and it seems like 90% of women im interested in either say they just want to be my friend or they say im not there type. Now i know that im not every girls type and yes i know im not attractive to all women but come on there has to be another reason. I would really like other peoples opinions on this subject and i would like everyone to be honest even if it hurts my feelings. Thanks and hope to here from everyone soon.
ok so lemme ask you whats wrong with a woman in a wheel chair?
90% ok that leaves 10% of women who might be interested in you? | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:42:26 PM | There are people whom honestly believe that they are open minded and would happily dating a dissabled person. But then when they do, they are overcome by the realization of how challanging it is to date a dissabled person, and then they quickly loose interest and switch to... we can still be friends mode.
But most people will just flatout lie and say "I would date a disabled person", because they knew if they said anything else they would be identified as shallow.
I am 100% disabled with an illness known as CFS. Women seem to fall for me because I look healthy, have long hair, and fit their badboy image of a Heavy Metal Guitarist. But the reality is that I live in pain and fatigue that few people can even imagine, I sometimes have minor hand tremors and often times fatigue to the level that I can only play my guitar for 5 to 15 minute intervals... so being in a band is out of the question.
So I feel for you my friend, as the disabled have an expediently harder time finding love. But do not give up, but instead focus on your positive points and what you bring into a relationship. And most importantly, do not settle for a woman who is not a match for you, out of fear that if you are too picky you will be alone forever. IMO it is better to live alone than to be with someone who does not fill your heart with joy.
Best of luck to you my friend. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:26:30 PM | Simply put - because I assume your penis can't work along with your legs.
Because being in a wheelchair makes you like a short person or shorter than a short person and I prefer taller men.
Because being in a wheelchair makes you not able to do things that able legged people can do - like hike, dance, and other things. And wheelchairs can be cumbersome. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:34:59 PM | | No, not all women are afraid of, or won't date a man in a wheelchair. I have friend who was married to a man who was in wheelchair when she met him. They had a good relationship and built up a thriving business together, but then he turned to drugs and became verbally abusive to her so she got out. But what I'm trying to say is there are women who look past the wheelchair and see the person like she did. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:47:28 PM | Sure, looking at what's inside is great -- for picking friends.
But when it comes to picking someone for love and romantic relationships -- physical attrction is a must.
Call it immature, shallow, whatever. But I call it a law of nature. We are almost all NATURALLY attracted to healthy attractive people.
Sorry, but that's life.
OP -- have you considered seeking another handicapped person for an LTR? Or are you combing the profiles for the most fit and attractive woman you can find?
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:22:09 PM |
ok so lemme ask you whats wrong with a woman in a wheel chair?
OP -- have you considered seeking another handicapped person for an LTR? Or are you combing the profiles for the most fit and attractive woman you can find?
Both very good questions - and he probably doesn't want a woman in a wheelchair for the same reasons most able-legged people don't want a person in a wheelchair. The combined cumbersomeness of being physically disabled multiplied by 2 doesn't sound like it makes for a good relationship really. That's like asking a midget why they don't date other midgets - they may do it by default because they don't want to be alone forever but truth be told just about all midgets want somebody that is tall or doesn't have dwarfism. Just about ALL wheelchair bound folks wants someone who is able-legged and able-bodied.
People who choose disabled people to date or marry tend to be those who got issues themselves - socially awkward/inept or they are not considered 'attractive' by those they wish to date, so they settle. Yeah, Christopher Reeves got a nice looking chick but she got with him when he was able-bodied. If he had been single with the same problem I don't think he would have landed someone like (Diane?) Reeves.
But even as I say this I'm wondering why and how some folks choose to date David Letterman's ugly ass. Maybe it was because he got money. For men mainly - money will get you a nice little hottie no what is wrong with you.
So my advice? - get rich. | |
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| Why dont women go for guys in Wheelchairs?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:03:54 PM | Maybe a woman who's like a nurse or CNA would be a better choice.
As people get older it does become alot more work to care for someone in a wheelchair. One lady I work with has a husband in a wheelchair who seem to take a turn for the worst. He is quite large. I don't know how she does it, it's hard, but I guess she manages every day. | |
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