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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/9/2006 3:17:31 AM | just wondering if any of you that have followed this thread consider that ceno - and others who've voiced the opinion of staying clear of the troubles with 'Dating a woman who has been abused in the past' , that we are speaking from personal experience? I've been bitten twice by what turned out to be 'damaged goods' - women who turned around and wrecked my dreams, hopes, and destroyed much in the name of 'Dating a woman...who became an abuser!!!'
Victims often become Perpetrators. Similar situations occur in all types of crimes - the beaten becomes the future batterer... so, we advise to BEWARE.
Not to state the truth is ... abusive.
It's not uncommon for a man to lose his children, house, savings, basically EVERYTHING - to a woman who will claim to have been 'abused'.
signed... victim of the abused...twice over. Never again. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/9/2006 3:31:21 AM | Reviewing the thread to see what was removed is revealing.
This site is highly censored. If the prevailing view toward the issue is not being agreed with, the spirited replies are removed. The fools doing the editing (read: censoring) forgot to remove the quotes that carry on to the next posts - revealing the edits.
This thread is a plaint about the issues of Dating a woman who has been abused in the past - but to say that an abused person is 'damaged goods' is not taken well by those who must feel like 'damaged goods'.
Either this site has been bought out or has sold out - no opposing opinions allowed... | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/9/2006 5:39:31 AM | sorry ot hear about your ex but pleased you were able to treat your next partner without judgement on men in genral. i have had a couple of relationships with girls whom had been abused in the past - one mentally one physically but the relationships did not last becasue they were always in fear that i would do to them what had been done in the past. they could not cope with my caring and sensual nature.
i didnt consider them damaged goods. they were victims and although i thrive on a challenge even i know that i would need them on my side (as well as me being at their side) if the relationships were to move on a stage. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/9/2006 7:29:18 AM | Since being at POF, I have noticed somethings about the forums. Sometimes, they are incredibly stupid time draining drivel. Other times...enlightening or just good fun. Once in awhile we manage to touch on something that deserves deep consideration.
Our OP has obviously done just that with this thread.
It took a long time for our society to acknowledge abuse that went on inside private homes. Then, abuse in the work place was finally brought out into the open.
Now, I am seeing something we have all known about but never talked about. I am no "earth shaking" type person. I have no real power except for my own little universe called me.
One other thing I have noticed about this POF...there are those kinds of people on this site. If our Ceno was able to generate enough anger to bring in the "heat"...perhaps our Beloved Big Fish should take a closer look at this issue...or atleast someone who knows what to do with the data that has been collected here.
I have never understood how a person who was abused by someone they loved could turn around and do it to someone who let their "guard" down out of love. I have seen this in women. I have seen men abused. It is not a gender thing. I am truly sorry for those men who have had to suffer in silence. None of us need to be there. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/9/2006 7:49:47 AM | One more thing and I promise to shut up...for now.
Alot of men are "fixers". Its their nature. But, once again what is in our nature can sometimes go a little askew. Its been one very large complaint both sexes have had. Why on earth does that person I am attracted to ignore me while that person over there, who obviously needs a lot of counciling, seems soooo much more alluring. WHY WHY WHY
We all need to stop trying to "fix" each other. I'm guilty as well...thats how I ended up being abused.
Lets get down to the business of "fixing" ourselves, being healthy and finding a healthy partner. OK?? | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/9/2006 5:23:01 PM | Valis I wanted to reply to your post. You seem very wise for your age and at least you realize what alot of women have been through. I was abused and took the time to get intense counseling to heal from the abuse and move on. But in counseling we are taught to make sure we do not fall back in the same trap of dating and or marrying another abuser. Abusers come on very kind, sweet and caring in the begining and fool us into thinking they are a good person. Then wham they turn from Dr jeckle to Mr hyde and turn our world upside down. Thats why we have to be on guard at first but if a true man is not abusive and I am talking about verbally, mentally,(which is worse than physical abuse) and or physically, they will take the time to show a good women that they truely are not out to hurt her. I for one would love a good man who loves me for who I am and does not try to control me or belittle me or even worse hit me. I would feel like I died and went to heaven. I would be so happy I would be on cloud 9. I would treat this man like gold. And do everything to not lose such a gem.
Bonnie | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/9/2006 5:36:52 PM | Ps here is a poem sent to me and I want to share it here as I think some need to understand the mind set of an abused person.
He sent me flowers today.
>
>
>
> I got flowers today.
>
> It wasnt our anniversary or any other special day. Last
night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed
like a nightmare. I couldnt believe it was real. I woke up this
morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry.
>
> Because:
>
> He sent me flowers today.
>
>
>
> I got flowers today.
>
> It wasnt Mothers Day or any other special day. Last night he
beat me up again. It was much worse than the other times. If I leave
him what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about
money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be
sorry
>
> Because:
>
> He sent me flowers today.
>
>
>
> I got flowers today.
>
> Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral.
Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had
gathered enough courage and strength to leave him.
>
> I would not have gotten flowers today. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/9/2006 5:59:56 PM | Subatoi is smart--good for you, Subatoi. Let me ask all of you--who has not been "abused" in the past? We use that word to describe domestic violence, but all of us have been wounded, in one way or another by another human being--and that's all abuse. I am now in my late 40's and dating. This fact is especially true of people in my age group--we've lived on the planet longer so we've experienced more--the good, the bad and the ugly. My point is this: the question is not whether or not to date a woman who has been "abused" in the past--the question is what kind of person is she? There are two kinds of people in this world--those that take their painful experiences, and learn and grow from them, eventually becoming more compassionate, wiser human beings and their are those who become angry, self-absorbed and bitter. We've all been abused in one or another--have compassion for everybody, but stay away from toxic people who do not learn and grow in a positive way throughout their life. ~marybeth  | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/10/2006 1:15:24 PM | | Everybody deserves a chance. I was sexually abused as a child; so yeah, I carry some baggage from that. Does that disqualify me from dating? I hope not. In fact, the horrible experience did in the long term get me to want to learn a great deal about human needs and interpersonal relationships. Yes, I'm still 'damaged' in one way, but gifted in another. I suppose there will be some women who are the same. I just hope to find them. Not that like always attracts like, but we would understand each other, and maybe be more tolerant of each others personal demons. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/10/2006 3:50:06 PM | I have a very close friend who was sexually abused as a child up until her teen years by the same male family member. She never went for counciling. She and her husband have had terrible fights about what their needs are sexually. Its really sad. They remain together "for the children" is what they both tell me.
I was in a relationship where the guy just knew I would have some sort of hangup because of my sexual and physical abuse that had occured to me in my life. He had been in a relationship where she was also abused but had never received any counciling. She was a basket case and he was always trying to "fix" her.
Unlike these two women, I have received counciling. I have no hangups..or should I say less hangups than most. The guy I mentioned in paragraph #2 and I had an awesome relationship. He said he had never had sex like that nor had never felt more like a man.
We can all heal...but, in a case like abuse...you need assistance.
OMG...I love life and all it has to offer. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/10/2006 4:19:11 PM | I married one and although I was told of the childhood abuse I didn't know it was going to bite me in the a*** later. My wife is now a control freak and is inhibited in sex, so that I am getting to the point of planning an exit strategy. The abuse was suppressed and after I married her it started to affect my wife. 14 months ago I pointed out the abnormal sexual responses after putting up with it for ten years and the need to get counselling but it is like talking to a brick wall.
I am thinking actions may speak louder than words and when I leave her she might start to think about fixing the mental damage. I am sick of being passive and putting up with it. I really know what they mean about damaged goods and walking away from it sounds like the only way to press home that I have needs that are being ignored. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/13/2006 4:55:39 PM | So basicly your cheating on your wife discrete rider? Why don't you just leave her if your so unhappy? the last 5 yrs of my marriage there was no sex at all because my husband didn't want sex. I asked him to go to counseling but he refused. I stayed with him out of respect for our marriage but the abuse was too much so I left. I never cheated on him once. I could have but I didn't. Its just not cool to cheat on people. How would you like it if she was cheating on you?
Bonbons | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/13/2006 4:58:44 PM | I know most will not read this but I think this will explain all the different kinds of abuse.
ABUSER RED FLAG WARNINGS
Jealous of time or resources you give others:
Gets angry if you spend 'too much time' with friends, family, or children.
Always insists that it is 'a bad time' for you to talk to family/friends on the phone.
Feels that resources are wasted if given to children.
Gets angry if you do favors for other people or give them things.
Would rather throw something away than give it to someone else.
Is possessive/obsessive:
Demands to know where you are/who you are with at all times.
Insists you wear a beeper/carry a cell phone at all times so you can be summoned when 'wanted.'
Feels threatened/becomes angry if someone smiles at you or gives you a compliment.
Tries to sit or stand between you and others who speak to you or give you attention.
Is obsessed with pornography or sex.
Is disinterested in or feels threatened by your personal desires or goals:
Finds your hobbies boring, pointless, unproductive, or a waste of time.
Is perpetually uncooperative about attending parties or events that interest you.
Often picks a fight or creates a crisis just before an event that is important to you.
States or implies that your interests should never interfere with spending time with him/her or doing things for him/her.
Is rude or inconsiderate toward you in a self-centered way:
Frequently insists on discussing something with you while you are trying to read, watch television, or talk on the phone.
Expects you to always be the one who answers the door or telephone.
Expects you to drop whatever you are doing whenever summoned.
Interrupts you on a consistent basis while you are talking.
Will rarely, if ever, act to accommodate your convenience or comfort.
Won't go outside to smoke if smoking physically distresses you.
Will not turn down TV or radio while you are talking.
Is unconcerned and unapologetic if rude behavior is pointed out.
Does not respect your right to make your own decisions:
Insists that all of your decisions affect him/her and, therefore, should always be joint decisions.
Gets angry or hurt if you don't always take his/her advice.
Criticizes or questions your intelligence and the wisdom of decisions that you make without his/her input.
Considers his/her own logic or intellect to be superior to all others:
Insists that his/her way is always the right way.
Claims that his/her arguments are based on logic or sound evidence and that yours are not.
Places no value on decisions you make based on feelings or intuition.
Believes that any opinion you have is invalid, illogical, hysterical, or selfish.
Is completely intolerant of any criticism of his/her own behavior.
Is confident that his/her employer and/or employees are all defective somehow.
Considers all of your friends to be idiots.
Extremely opinionated and critical of others:
Racist or sexist.
Dogmatic about behavior in others.
Unwilling to tolerate opinions that differ from his/her own.
Has double standards for behavior.
Is rude to all of your family/friends.
Dislikes all of your family/friends.
Has chronic trouble at work:
Is chronically unemployed or changes jobs frequently.
Explains employment setbacks as some sort of victimization.
Always believes that his/her boss treats him/her poorly.
Always believes that his/her co-workers are working against or out to get him/her.
Disregards laws or social customs that interfere with his/her own goals or pleasure:
Sees no point in ever observing holidays or giving gifts, even if these are important to you.
Is disinterested in following family or religious customs, even if these are important to you.
Believes that people who work hard for a living are "suckers."
Is scornful of the government or the "system."
Uses illegal drugs.
Is a heavy drinker.
Is very concerned about his/her public image:
Treats you better in public than in private in order to impress others.
Gets angry at you if he/she believes that you have somehow made him/her look bad to others.
Brags about you or your accomplishments to others, but never compliments you in private.
Attempts to make you jealous or insecure:
Constantly threatens to leave you.
Hints or states that he/she has other lovers waiting on the side.
Compares you to previous lovers.
Admires strangers and compares you to them.
Tells you that no one will ever care about/love/want you the way he/she does.
Is jealous and suspicious:
Falsely accuses you of infidelity.
Insists that friends of the opposite sex are trying to seduce you.
States or implies that you got a job offer or interview because of your appearance or a sexual 'favor.'
Doesn't want you to take part in an activity or outing without him/her because you might meet someone else there.
Rushes the relationship:
Pressures you to move in together.
Pressures you to have sex before you are ready.
Proposes marriage too early in the relationship.
Does not respect your privacy:
Reads your diary or journal.
Opens your mail.
Listens in on private conversations.
Manipulates others to achieve his/her goals:
Frequently uses guilt trips.
Says/does things that are dishonest or illegal.
Attempts to coerce you into doing things that make you uncomfortable, that you don't want (i.e., sex), or that are against the law.
Threatens suicide or homicide if you don't cooperate with him/her or if you leave him/her.
Lectures you endlessly until you agree.
Is easily angered at others who interfere with his/her activities:
Engages in "Road Rage."
Has angry reactions/outbursts which are out of proportion to level of inconvenience.
Is intolerant of children or animals:
Will not get up to feed or change the baby.
Is unwilling to have pets or children because of the mess or inconvenience, even if pets are important to you.
Shows preferential treatment between children (especially "natural" vs. "step" children).
Believes that children don't deserve the level of treatment or support as adults.
Insists that HE/SHE is the victim in the relationship:
Accuses you of being selfish, rude, self-centered, uncooperative, etc.
Claims that you are the one undermining the relationship.
Accuses you of not loving or not caring about him/her.
Lack of empathy:
Inability to put him/herself in another's shoes.
Unwilling to provide comfort to you unless "blame" clearly lies elsewhere.
Makes minimal effort to care for you or others when sick or injured; all the while complaining about the inconvenience.
Cruel to animals.
Murders animals.
Considers donations to charity/volunteer work a waste.
Unable to acknowledge or respond to pain in you that is not clearly visible:
Turns up TV when you have a headache.
Insists on spicy food when you have an upset stomach.
Expects you to help with chores when you are feeling sick.
Ignores you when you attempt to explain an ailment.
Lack of personal responsibility:
Blames you/others for problems.
Denies saying/doing hurtful things.
Refuses to apologize for wrongdoing.
Apologizes but then repeats hurtful behavior.
Avoids duties, obligations, and debts.
Tears down your self esteem and erodes your confidence:
Tone of voice unreasonably deriding or scornful for the situation.
Questions your ability to do simple things.
Asks you to make a decision and then rejects your decision. Often asking you to decide over again.
Accuses you of being overly sensitive to criticism.
Calls you names.
Repeatedly swears at or in front of you.
Criticizes you openly.
Interferes with or attempts to control your career:
Pressures you to quit or change your job.
Thinks that your employer interferes with your marriage.
Thinks that your co-workers/employer/employees are defective somehow.
Attempts to resolve conflicts you have at work for you.
Seeks to "help you" with your career, and is upset if you don't cooperate.
Attempts to choose your job or work projects for you.
Punishes you or threatens to punish you for "misbehaving":
Strands you somewhere.
Gives you the "silent treatment."
Yells at you.
Lectures you.
Believes that a "discussion" about your relationship is more important than any other obligation or activity:
Makes you late to work or social activities because he/she wants to discuss something.
Picks a fight with you at bedtime and then won't let you go to sleep for hours.
Beyond verbal abuse - physically acts out:
Rapes.
Pushes.
Shoves.
Slaps.
Hits.
Trips.
Scratches.
Spits.
Punches.
Throws items or breaks things in anger in front of you, whether at you or not.
Threatens you with or uses a weapon on you. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/13/2006 5:12:06 PM | dANG,speaking of someone who was abused growing up by a kin,andthen moving into abusive relationships.I cant beklieve you would try and hand that bull around.There is a thing called breaking the chain of abuse.And there is a thing called healing.And as for your damaged goods who of us isnt damaged in some way.Its ones like you whoo want to say damaged goods,without caring to look.I hate to say it but being abused help make me the strong lady I am today.I took the one who abused me and took care of her,it was the best healing,therapy.That one can have.It helped me break the chain of abuse.And who are you to know wghat or who an abuser is when you meet them.There can be certain things that can stand out.But more often then not there is nothing to show us how they really are.So if you want to blame the end on a woman cause she is damaged goods,take a long look inside yourself. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 12/14/2006 1:30:48 AM | | yeah talking about guys who abused you in the past is the kiss of death. it's only going to make you angry i mean what does that have to do with me? i mean it's good to be sensitive to her but it really builds up resentment because you end up paying for their misdeeds | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:47:22 PM | | It is very hard to deal with abuse, no matter rather it is a man or a woman, not all can get out of abusive relationships... If you have never been in one then you could not possibly know what it is like to feel you must fix it...Some have very low self worth and don't know what to do...but either way, it is not easy on a relationship... If you meet someone with bagage from the past, you must first find out if they want to go on or stay in the past...if they can not deal with it then they simply won't...anyone can seek help, but not all can really get it... Past abuse is just that, you may think about it but not hold it against the new person...all must get the help they need and learn from it, just go on and never look back...all can be fixed with the right outlook on life... we can not change the past... we can only make the future better...please try to understand a person who is abused, they don't like it and they don't stay because they want to, they are tired and don't know anyway out for what ever reason... if you can't deal with the person, of abuse, you have no buisness staying around... they need alot of suport...and it may be too much on you...it won't do them any good if they haven't delt with it... sit , talk and comunicate... some will never break the abusive tendencies without alot of professional help...most will seak it sooner or later, if they haven't thenit will never work....Good luck | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 2/2/2007 5:26:14 PM | I think it depends on the woman. Some women are effected long term more than others are. Some actually work at getting past what is in the past, and realize not all people will hurt them. But, sometimes the long term effects of abuse can rear there ugly head in odd ways.
The best thing you can do is listen to her. Go slowly, let her set the pace for anything physical. The worst mistake a man can make is to be too aggressive sexually with a woman that has been abused in her past (sexually or physically.)
I've seen the term "damaged goods" several times in this forum. Like who doesn't have some type of emotional damage by the time they reach adulthood?
Past<<~~something that has already happened and unless someone has developed a time machine. It's not something that can be changed. The key is to learn from all lifes experiences, good and bad alike. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 2/3/2007 10:35:15 AM | eighty1....you are so wrong about that...most ladies that are saying run, some have been abused, and they know what it takes to stop the abuse and move on...it isn't an easy thing, but have you ever heard the word co dependency? well wake up ,no one can possibly be jelious of a co-dependent person...feel sorry yes, you really need to re-think the jeliousy thing...and we aren't saying RUN, we are saying run if it is just too much to handle...some men have abused women to the point of them being abusive, would anyone like to wake up with a knife to their throat because a woman went bolistic over her past ...I think not...and if you really want to know the truth, I am an abused woman, I was abused beyond recognition, my face brused, cuts scars, black and blue was my color, not by choice...I went to a battered woman shelter, and sought out help , only to go back because he was so good at what he did...took many classes on abuse, and one day said, OK if you are going to kill me do it!!! I am ready, and it can't be any worse then you beating me on a daily bases, because your hair didn't lay right...or you were afraid I was seeing the post man, after all I never wore make up, never wore nice cloths, never met eyes with another man... because I was not alowed to leave the house without him...and by the way the post man left the mail in a box at the end of the street so How did I even see this man... it is not the abused woman that needs the help it was the men...after threats of killing my father if I left, or having my daughter taken from me so I would never see her again... well so be it...I said one ,day to his face, in his eyes...let's rock baby... i have nothing to loose...sleep well my dear man, love you... He did't go to sleep that night, he never closed his eyes, but I slept like a baby... and I had him arrested the next day for the black eyeI wore, and the cut above my eye... I moved out while he was at the police station... and did it end there? NO, he stalked me till he found the butcher knife under the mattress...see I had no more to loose and I wanted my father safe, and my daughter was my life...but my family would have taken care of my daughter and I would have been in prison... but I would be safer there then with him... I went straight for counciling, and I do it still, I have a good self esteme and I think not everyone would know I was abused...did you look at me and say this is a woman with low self esteme??? OF course you didn't... why, because I worked hard to get over it...and guess him dieing helped too... the devil was dead...My family was safe, and so am I...I will never let another man take so much control...I will give him control, but he must earn it, and I have very high self worth...not anything else...I like to help those that are in those type of relationships...I think my stories are scary enough to show others just how a twist of a knife could end all your dreams... Dear re-think that, and stop the little tags you just put on other women...walk my shoes one day and hun you will surely understand there is life after abuse, not jeliousy... with kindness I write this, it is not your fault you don't understand...but maybe now you will....here is a hug for you, and those are what I give to people who need it....I will always be a walking advocate of self worth for battered ladies...or batterd men...   | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 2/3/2007 10:50:37 AM | | It's not easy, but what helps is wanting to get over the past. Does she want to work on her past or is she using it as a double-edged sword to keep you at bay so she won't have to take the chance to be hurt again? I feel when a person is emotionally unavailable, due to whatever reason, sometimes you just have to walk on. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 2/3/2007 1:53:47 PM | | WOW!, cool subject..I was married to a woman for 13 years, Im happy to say we were happy for 10 of them..Now here's the story, she was married to a man who she had two beautiful kids with, unfortunatly he wanted more and not from her if you catch my drift, she caught him in bed with another woman and split up with him..We met a few years later and fell in love, after a year we married and at our wedding I had two words added to the wedding vows "Semper Fidelis"..it is latin and also the Marine Corps motto meaning Always Faithful..well thats how I kept it...I began noticing her getting jealous after the first five years, but was willing to live with it.."Love is blind", in the 10 th year of marriage it became out of control, she accused me of messing around on her every time I was away from her, it even got to the point that her mother said something to her "Darlin when does he have time to mess around" as I was working and coaching the kids in sports..It finaly got to the point where I said, if you accuse me of messing around on you one more time, Im leaving you....Well not only did she accuse me of messing around she did it infront of 20 friends of mine who I had been with at the time of the so called encounter with another woman...That was it..I left..it was not the way I had envisioned our lives to go, but I had had enough...On an ending note, I still stay in contact with the kids...PS this felt good talking about it | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 2/3/2007 5:16:42 PM | | To Brandiw:- You are one arrogant girl.....If you had have the knowledge you would know woman in general whom been in abusive relationships either have been abused by rude crude woman like you in highschool or college & think your pooh doesn't stink,bet ya don't fart or brup either....Give it up you need to do your homework......You have no right calling anyone damaged goods,when you obviously are saying what you truly are....I'm so disgusted you would speak of women this way....Did your mother beat your ass for your smart mouth if not she should of....We all have problems in this world & someone as nieve as you miss out on the most gracious kind loving people in the world.....YOU ARE entitled to your opion calling names is not acceptable in todays world....Thanks | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 2/3/2007 8:21:26 PM | | To Blonde Melody... I am with you girl.. I also got my ass with because he did not like the way my clothes looked on me or for talking to his father..His father always screwed around on his mother a& he knew it.. or I would get my but kicked because his other women(whores) did something to piss him off, but at this time I was 800 miles away from home & at the age of 19. It got to the point I hid my birth control pills at work so I would not get pregnant by this man, and if those other women made him happy I could ccare less if he came home at night or not.. NOT one time did I step out of my marriage.. I can honestly say I was true. It took me 5yrs of ass whipping, hair pulling, black eyes before I had enough and faith in myself that I could survive..... But i dont anymore compare men to him.. I really think there are some good men & women out there.. But there have been times it would flash back when my partner would raise his hand at me... You see never again will I allow a man to ever hit me again.. I think too much of myself and I have discovered that I can survive on my own, that I am not as fragile as I thought I was. i am a compassionate woman who I know one day will find that right man for me.. He will accept me for me and I will accept him for him, the good and the bad...I cant wait for that day to come.. | |
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| Dating a woman who has been abused in the past
Posted: 2/3/2007 9:45:16 PM | | i read most of the posting an i stopped readin them ...didnt like some. but think bout this...not just woman go thru abuse in their past....i know alot of men who went thru abuse as well....but anyways...sometimes it only takes a person with understanding an caring to over come these fears for some...with their patience. lets face it...to many are critical of others appearances or behaviours an dont stop to look within themselves...and they should. she maybe be a victim in her past...but she still deserves to be loved and respected....just like we all do. | |
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