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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 3:31:13 AM |
Men use all kinds of filters for their preference-- looks, body size, height, length of hair, etc. --- and are not questioned. Why is it that a woman who voices her preference is questioned? Just curious....
auntymar: I think it is a well known fact men are VISUAL, and women sometimes INTELLECTUAL... I mean, that book about men and women, and mars and venus, wasn't written for nothing!!
I must concede to you in the income descrepancy.. I would feel intimidated if my potential partner earned that much more than me, BUT if the person is genuine, that won't matter to them... | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:53:44 AM | "thunderkat: I agree with you, but what about "opposites attract" too!!! You don't have to have the same education to be soul mates... in fact it could back fire because you will probably end up talking so much about work, you don't have a life..."
I completely disagree with you notion that opposites attract.
If you just stop and take a second to think about it you will see how ridiculous that statement really is. Don't get wrong, I think you can be physically attracted to an opposite but in the close relationship department it typically doesn't work. | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 9:07:33 AM | I believe education is important ..however its how you relate to someone..I have dated men who were construction workers and they were very very smart men fun and interesting.
I dated one guy who had done alot of different jobs in his life and he was fine in bed ..but try to converse with him other times I was bored and not mental stimulated..
I was married to a Electrical Engineer he was actually very boring outside his field. He is very very intelllegent and had a hard time having conversations of everyday things...He had been taking courses the entire time I was married even though he was a engineer in his field..fun to him was doing numbers well thats not great in the bed...LOLOLOL
Outside the bed he expected me to be the fun in his life and it goes both ways...If it was not for me getting to know other couples we would not of had a social life...He could not even make friends...I realize some people who are very intellegent have social issues...and its important to have a balance....He smothered me so much...I am not complaining..but seriously I shulda got a degree in engineering...I did all his drafting...LOL I learned every electrical code known to mankind...
Ask why I married him he was a hot looking man...when your young thats all you see...its as you get older different things matter then just the looks...communication is one of them.
Really though its how you both "click" in the end it does not matter how educated someone is ..its the life you live and your interests...and whats in common and how you compliment each other. | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 9:25:18 AM | P.S. I bet you knew about Aspereger's from reading some article on Bill Gates, right?
No I knew about Asperger's because I have a son and nephew with Autism, am active in that community, and studied Child Psychology in my College days. I likewise derive more of my knowledge from reading, than pop culture. What I took issue with was your pretense, and "quasi-intellectual" snobbery. That and I strongly suspect you have as of yet not experienced enough actual life, to know wtf you are talking about. I would be more than willing to bet you are the type to discuss the nature of art and philosophy so as to impress the less learned about you, rather than from a point of actual understanding and appreciation of it. Funny, I didn't mention trailer parks, Nascar, or going "muddin" in my post at all, so who is the one putting forth steriotypes bub? Nice try, and nice to see you show your true colors.
Higher Education, with very few exceptions is highly overated, and more or less, unneccessary (again with a few clear exceptions)in day to day life. The "Information Age" we live in today, gives anyone willing to obtain a library card access to information and thus education, that in decades past could only be accrued via a degree. As Dave1234 suggested, these days a good tradeskill is just, if not more valuable. And in todays society probably far more valuable in terms of job security and long term happiness.
Those that would make education, or rather a "Degree" a bargaining chip in a romantic relationship, show alot to be desired. I mean whats next? "OMG You didn't go to an Ivy League School??? It would simply never work between us!" But hey, Hoy, Hoy, Faloy!  
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 9:45:39 AM | fono compatibily has to be based on commonalities. I don't know why other people look for someone with a degree but I do because it's more likely I'll be intellectually compatible with them. I enjoy deep discussions on varied topics and would be miserable with someone who couldn't hold up their end of the conversation.
That being said, I've found some people with degrees are NOT that intelligent and I end up having the one word, lol, emoticon conversation with them on messenger. That is definitely a deal breaker for me. If I wanted to talk to someone that gave those type of answers I'd talk to one of my nieces or nephews who are still kids. | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 9:54:15 AM | I guess for me Education, means a lot just being able to "be something". I know general Labour jobs seem to be in demand right now, but are they the wave of the future? Are we going ot be able to retire from sucha job, hense the reason why Education might have a play. I speak for myself, when I say I do have 2 degree's in the field of Education, yet I have chosen the route of General Labour, Why? Just because of the money factor. To me it's the difference between a JOB and a CAREER. I consider my work a JOB< yet I know that I have something to fall back on when there is no JOB left... get it?
I guess people are somewhat embrassed so to speak, to bring home a guy saying he works at McDonalds or better yet, doesn't have a job. I don't know if I would deal with that lightly. I don't care what you do, just make sure you can support yourself and try to be somewhat happy. Some people are very superfishisal... I guess they will never get mr. right... because they've passed him by because he didn't have a degree. | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 10:41:32 AM | Believe it or not Education has nothing to do with deep discussions..In some cases it helps...however its interests and life itself..Its the person..thier experiences..lifestyle etc....hobbies...
thier ability to communicate...I have a gf who is a engineer and she invents things for NASA....she is sooooooooo intellegent noone can relate to her outside work..no men etc....she never developed proper social skills and she is brilliant..inside she is a lonley woman...  | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 10:44:43 AM |
I am university educated and for me, well, I like to carry on "intelligent" conversations when I'm not panting in the bedroom with my man....
To me, an educated person has a broader sense of oneself and whats happening in the world..
Well I do believe that education is important to advance in the business world and even then only if you apply it to you future...but for a relationship, not so much.
Higher ecucation does not mean that people without it are by any means "stupid"'. In fact I find that for the most part it is quite the opposite. Book smarts willl get you a better career, make you fit it better with people in that field, but that does not make you more intelligent. But what you end up with is a smaller knowledge of the raw human social ablility.
Many of the people that I know that are not university educated are extremely intelligent on many levels and can banter with the best of them in any setting. Its called streets smarts or sauve, and I have found that many "educated" people are lacking in this area, which quite frankly, makes them a little stiff and not much fun to be around.
Granted, it is nice sometimes to have "intelligent" conversations, I'll give you that, but I think that should happen with a really good friend, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have really good in depth conversations with your lover either, but what I am saying is that at the end of every night I shouldn't have to take an advil because my brain hurts either!! | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 10:59:50 AM |
I know general Labour jobs seem to be in demand right now, but are they the wave of the future? Are we going ot be able to retire from sucha job, hense the reason why Education might have a play. I speak for myself, when I say I do have 2 degree's in the field of Education, yet I have chosen the route of General Labour, Why? Just because of the money factor. To me it's the difference between a JOB and a CAREER. I consider my work a JOB< yet I know that I have something to fall back on when there is no JOB left... get it?
A statement like this coming from someone with an education??? Now thats just funny. You go and get not 1 but 2 degrees and you "choose" to do general labour?? So what you want to pay for an education that your not going to use?? When the demand runs out for general labour jobs your education isn't going to mean jack s**t.
Think about it, you work a "job" for 5 years, then job is gone, so you try to go in the field your trained for and guess what, you don't get it because of 1 your age factor, and 2 there are refresher courses you now need to take, and 3 as your taking your refresher courses, someone right from university gets the job!!! All because you "chose" to work a job instead of finding a career.
YOU just proved the point that having a higher ecucation does NOT make you smarter!! | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 2:13:39 PM |
I completely disagree with you notion that opposites attract.
If you just stop and take a second to think about it you will see how ridiculous that statement really is. Don't get wrong, I think you can be physically attracted to an opposite but in the close relationship department it typically doesn't work.
jay48jay: Have a look at the message from "passionitetone", right under yours (message 85) - she proves by her experience that what I said IS valid!! Just because you are highly educated, doesn't mean another highly educated person will not be "boring" to you... | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 3:29:35 PM | I used to think that the woman for me had to be "educated" meaning college or university. Over time that position has changed because I met a lot of people and realized that some people who haven't been to one of those to educational establishments are capable of being smart and intelligent anyway. The degree or diploma means you passed the grade. It doesn't mean that you are smart.
To me there has to be a level of "intelligent" conversation in my relationships and really that is all I look for now.
That's just me though.... | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 3:53:37 PM | Hi, Fono,
It's like this. Being educated does not guarantee you are smart, but an education from a good college does teach you how to think and how to analyze and insures some level of well roundedness. I "require" an education, because if someone isn't educated they tend not to be interested in engaging in lively discussions and if they do they tend to not be able to evaluate all sides of an issue and in an argument they tend to argue against their point. Having gone to a decent college insures the person has studied a wide array of subjects, people without an education rarely have the personal discipline to study what they are not interested in just to know what else is out there.
I know some brilliant people who did not go to college, but most of them I ended up disappointed with because their focus became narrow and their analysis shallow. Without an education they are just reinventing the wheel.
Conversation is the bottom line in a relationship because no matter what activities you engage in, you have to talk before and after, if not during. It will be there long after our bodies become mush.
The good news is that education is available to anyone in this country. I plan to keep learning for the rest of my life. | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 6:11:56 PM | in my life i have met some extremely educated people who possessed no life skills...no personality...no depth...just a shitload of information...and a couple letters behind thier name...
i have also met people with very limited formal education who possessed a wealth of knowledge and wisdom beyond belief...i think this "pre-requisite "...it's just rediculous...and whoever these people are who are demanding education as a requirement in a partner are missing out on some wonderful relationships... | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 7:27:15 PM |
I "require" an education, because if someone isn't educated they tend not to be interested in engaging in lively discussions and if they do they tend to not be able to evaluate all sides of an issue and in an argument they tend to argue against their point.
skyeblu: When you do a tertiary study, are you interested in the Course subjects, or just doing it even though you are not interested?? Everyone is involved more with things that interests them, that is human nature. And you don't need a formal education to keep up with what is happening in the world around us.
Having gone to a decent college insures the person has studied a wide array of subjects, people without an education rarely have the personal discipline to study what they are not interested in just to know what else is out there.
skyeblu: "decent college"? Are you meaning high school like in the USA, or tertiary education?? So not only people have to have high education, now we have to make a distinction as to which college they go to...  So if they didn't go to a "decent" college their education means less??? | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:41:48 PM | | Alot of people have requirements when looking for a long term relationship. For some it is looks, financial security, social status, and for some it is education. I'm sure each person has their own criteria in choosing a person to be with, and that is fine. Myself, I like someone who is intelligent, whether they have post secondary education or not. Some of the most successful and most interesting people I know have not completed college or university. For me, it is more about how someone presents themselves. I tend not to respond to people who message me with emails full of spelling and grammatical errors. Some mistakes are fine, but when you have to reread the message a few times to understand what they are trying to say, it tends to be a turnoff. | |
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kaliel
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Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 92 | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/29/2006 9:25:01 PM |
Myself, I like someone who is intelligent, whether they have post secondary education or not. Some of the most successful and most interesting people I know have not completed college or university.
kitkat55: That is absolutely true, why didn't I think of that?? Some of the most successful (I mean MEGA rich, if you want to judge success with riches, not the best judgement anyway) are NOT educated so to speak...
It boils down to whether you have some interests in common - that is common ground to talk about.. if not you will have lots of awkward moments of silence!!! Also, I have found if a lady makes her answers shorter and shorter, and she has to go in a hurry, she is not interested at all... If they make the effort to keep the conversation going, you are 1/2 way there... (if they don't talk the leg off a chair with everybody that is) | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/30/2006 1:57:19 PM | Amongst my circle of friends, I count a doctor, a lawyer, an architect, and a couple of sales professionals. But I certainly don't screen my friendships for educational requirements. (Actually, the sales couple probably don't have degrees.) The ability to carry on a conversation on a broad variety of topics is an occupational requirement for me but a degree is not. At work, its mostly current affairs and history. As hobbies, cosmology, quantum physics, high performance engine design, and, most recently, social justice issues.
When I started on POF, my profile specified intelligence as the most important thing. That landed me dates with a doctor, an engineer, a scientist(non-rocket), a union activist , and others. I like to think that the women who didn't respond to my hellos probably realized that they weren't going to meet the criteria. 
As to the OP's question, or scenerio, I've a few thoughts. A degree requirement in a profile would certainly indicate someone who is going to prefer outings to the museum over the drag races. So if you don't fit the criteria, don't apply. For a young person, just out of college, a common educational background would probably be more comfortable. For the middle-aged set, like myself, I would probably be put off by the implied snobbery whether I qualified or not otherwise. It is a big pond and if the profile is written to primarily attract intellectual snobs then they will perhaps be a good fit. Next! | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/30/2006 3:18:56 PM | | fono152000 - not weird for someone to want a person who is intellegent however education is sometimes thought of as a degree of intellegence. I enjoy the company of an intellegent man as I joke when questioned about that by saysing "you need to talk about something while the bacon and eggs are cooking the next moring". I have been out with many men who are not intellegent - while very educated, but claim to be in their profiles. I enjoy stimulating conversation and if it is about a subject I dont know much about, appreciate when a man can enlighten me on the subject or vice versa. I have gone out with men who dont read the newspaper, watch CNN, read books, or do anything other than watch tv. We have nothing in common, I believe I am a well rounded person with a multitude of interests and am looking for someone who likewise has many interests. Not every puzzle piece can be a corner piece - but they all fit together in the puzzle called life. It all about finding the right piece that fits in your corner of the puzzle. | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/30/2006 4:31:45 PM |
I have gone out with men who dont read the newspaper, watch CNN, read books, or do anything other than watch tv.
haywiresue: "Who dont ... watch CNN"? That is an oxymoron... as if you will be enlightened by a heavily censored propaganda machine for the new world order croanies like that!! HAA! I say... | |
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| Question Ive Never Thought of Before
Posted: 11/30/2006 5:22:11 PM | If having a single degree is good, wouldn't having two be that much better? Where does it end? Besides, not everything can be learned from a book.
A degree is a demonstration of achievement, not a demonstration of ability to achieve. People often get that confused, so use what you have and let others judge you on your performance/character, not your certification/degrees. | |
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