| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 6:31:50 AM | swinging .... well I think they started in the 60's and 70's calling it wife swapping ....
but it goes way back ... Just a lifestyle ... and ... middle age ... well that seems to be when average people think about it and some try it out. various reasons ... including boredom .. curiosity ... realization that sex can be separated from love ... kids are gone so let's have some fun. Others just go to Vegas ... get into gambling in a different way.
Swinging is a form of gambling... gambling with your moral standards ... gambling with your love ... I've seen those shows and some people swear it makes their love stronger. I can't argue with them and neither can you ... if that's what it does for then ... that's what it does for them. doesn't mean anything about what it will do for you or me.
Everyone has to decide their own lifestyles.
Condescending attitudes are ... much the same as homophobia.
[self righteous crap]
I like opinions but also know they are only opinions and hold no more credence than a dog's bark.
STD's ... give me a break... these people probably are checked more often and cleaner than 90% of the general population ... like hookers in Amsterdam.
relationship destruction .... well that seems to happen easy enough anyways.
I see them as a bit of the leftover ... love generation and trying to break out of the box of pseudo Victorian ideals this hypocritical right wing western world likes to flaunt.
Now ... middle age ... that is what? hmmm....
we live to 75-78 average so ... somewhere around late 30's ... hmmm ....
I think a lot of the swingers are well past middle age  | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 7:52:41 AM | "self righteous crap" and phrases like that are just attempts to convert/control people who just don't want to be involved in certain activities.
The best advertising for any type of lifestyle is how happy people are. Personally, I haven't met too many people who are happy with themselves as middle aged swingers. I could be wrong, but the ones that I have met seem to be looking for something that they never seem to find. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 7:59:27 AM | Sorry to say, but unhappy people can cover a VERY large portion of the population, not just swingers. Just my guess though.
Never have met any swingers that I know of, don't believe to many would advertise just because of the censored thinking we tend to have in this world.
I personally wouldn't tell any one if I did. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:40:33 AM | I agree that a large population is just unhappy. I have found a way to be happy, and aren't get to let anyone try to spoil it by labeling me just because I won't join their way of thinking.
If middle aged swingers were happy, I don't think organization like "Sex Anonymous" (or whatever the correct name is) would have so many members looking to find a more balanced way to live their lives.
There is probably online site where info on this can be found. It might explain why not all people think being a swinger is working out for them. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:54:48 AM | I understand your point, but sex anonmous is no different then AA or I can't think of the other one, drug related.
I may be wrong, but I don't believe any one was asking you to join their way of thinking, just to have an open mind to accept that others differ from you, is all.
I don't condem people for drinking beer, but I don't like it, nor will I ever join them by drinking one. But I don't think they are bad people for doing it either. They are just different and I accept that. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 10:52:37 AM |
"self righteous crap" and phrases like that are just attempts to convert/control people who just don't want to be involved in certain activities.
what a crock ..... and if you actually kept the context of that statement then ... you are admitting that you have a ... condecending attitude .....
[well isn't that a lovely avdertisement]
Nobody is trying to convert anyone here ... except maybe you.
I just think there is a lot of phobic people jumpin on things they really know nothing about.
and that is "self righteous crap". If you want to sign up for that list ... go ahead.
I'm not going to jump on a lifestyle learned about on Jerry Springer ... or heraldo ... or Opra ..or Johnny Carson. .... or read about in the Watch Tower.
But if older married couples want to play around naked .... that's fine by me ... as long as they leave the curtains closed. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 11:17:05 AM | By the way, anyone who has ever looked at porno or ever had a fantasy about being with more than one person has no grounds for talking about these people in a condescending way. In fact, the word “hypocrisy” comes to mind here.
I don't think so. I have stood at the edge of a building and wondered what it would be like to jump....but I never did. Does that make me a hypocrite? | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 11:47:58 AM | there is a 12 step fellowship called Sexual Addicts Anonymous. it would include people who frequent prostitutes, molest children, expose themselves, masturbate excessively. Very compulsive sexual behavior that is very addictive & interferes w/ day to day functioning.
A "swinger" could be someone who goes to an orgy or has a 3sum 4sum once a month.
That does not make them a sex addict.
Just cuz strawberry is not my favorite flavor of ice cream doesn't mean I'm gonna freak out when my neighbor cops to liking it.
Shakespeare said he doth protest too much! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 12:31:03 PM | middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/28/2006 9 21 PM
What I am wondering is why no one that is a swinger or had this experience has not answered this thread.
Why should they? I doubt many of them take such pride in sexual disfunction or have such vain envy.
No, the correct response is why should they when it will only get them beat upon? Moralists think they have the right to impose their beliefs on others.
Don't throw stones, your glass house may shatter. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 12:33:18 PM | | I have to agree with Angelic on this one. Personally I would never entertain the swinger lifestyle because that's just not my cup of tea; however, who am I to point fingers at or snub my nose at someone that does. As long as your behavior doesn't endanger someone's life, then by all means carry on. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 1:09:32 PM | I has become so politically incorrect to stand up for a decent society where people can live their lives without peer pressure wanting more and more freedom to do anything, any time.
Does any of this make the world a better place to living in...........I don't think so.
My point of view that swinging, or a lot of other lifestyles just does improve the lifestyle of the people involved. I think the folk that want me to be more accepting, should look at their oppion that I need to be more accepting. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 2:07:00 PM | Mora,
You can't change the world. People are always going to do what they feel is right for them. Don't waste precious energy trying to get them to see the "errors" of their ways. If it indeed does not improve their lifestyle then they are the ones that will have to pay the consequences for that. Worry about living the life that is right for Moraima because at the end of the day that is the only life you have control over. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 2:55:01 PM | I don't worry about what others do in North America. Changing the world isn't my mission, as I save that energy for the third world where I can make a tiny, little difference.
A lot of my oppions on this issue do come from seeing other cultures, and political societies. I don't see in general a happy society in North America. I do see a happy society in third world countries that forcus on family values.
According to the theory of some of the posters about middle age swingers, just saying that it isn't helping anybody is such a wrong thing to do. If we apply the same theory to any issue in the world which effects the common good of society, no one would vote, or work on any
issue.
As far as Sex Anonymous goes, they work with many people who are addicted to multiple partner sex encounters, swinger etc. The reason for these various "Anonymous" organization is to help people who's lives have become unmanageable. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 3:57:21 PM | I think it depends on a lot of things. I wouldn't say that swingers are only in North America, but not accepted as the normal thing here as much as other countries.
The value system in North America has gone haywire, and I will probably get beat in the head for that statement.
In that respect, I have no intention of keeping up with the Jones' | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:15:52 PM | AW, thats pretty much it in a nut shell. Why would anyone want to keep up with the Jones?
I would't and don't even try, but I don't say what the Jones do in the privacy of their home is wrong either.
If someone want s to pull a train from here to timbucktoo, knock yourself out. Just dont ask me to join in and we will get along just fine.
Everyone has their own why of making it in this crazy azz world, some eat, some drive real fast, others screw their brains out. Go for it, what ever works for the indivaul.
I myself wouldn't mind seeing if I could be eatting while driving and............never mind. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:25:03 PM | | LOL claypot, you mean you have never been eating and driving.... the nevermind... well | |
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yna6
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 43 | |
| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:45:49 PM | The plural of "spouse" is "spice"...
Having other sexual partners, if known by both parties, is fine...keeps boredom at bay. Also just think...no "same sex" problems...it is never the same sex all the time!
Diseases? Not as prevelent in that setting as some would try to make you believe.
I've known some who were open with me about their lifestyle...but I wasn't interested. Didn't affect our friendship though. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 5:07:54 PM | "boredom"???? I can't say I've ever been with anyone who found me boring in that respect. I'd use the word "jaded" to describe those people instead of "bored"; however, if they lack the imagination to make things spicer with their own SO maybe they should just move on permanently?
I have an story about swinging. A distant relative of mine was all for it until he faced the fact that his wife (who was also for it) would be having sex with someone other than him and decided he couldn't handle that. So............ it was all about HIM and his gratification!!!
I've also met couples who swing. It's not all about swapping either. Sometimes they want threesomes. The RULE is one partner is not permitted to do it without their partner being involved in some way. So, no clandestine rendezvous is permitted. I questioned one couple extensively about it and they were quite open. I listened, but declined to participate and was nice and polite in my refusal. Speaking for myself only, if I was in a relationship, the emotional intimacy and closeness (which is a huge part of a relationship) would be GONE in such a scenario but, different strokes for different folks I guess. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 6:44:08 PM | | Swingers? People living like that? Oh, you mean Jack Kennedy and Jackie O? And all those in between? | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 7:09:29 PM | | I think a lot of guys would be afraid of going to a swingers party. it might dispel the notion that all men are created equal. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 7:55:43 PM | coug, you are SUCH a card
actually, the guy did tell me that he was hurt one time when he asked his wife how the other guy was in bed and she told him the other guy was actually better. how's that for honesty? she told me that, yes, she had said that. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:06:29 PM | coug
OMG Sistermary, that must have been my ex... he was always worried about those "little" things and I wasn't a swinger! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:43:19 PM | My apology to posters for how I words my post about swingers and North American society. I don't know what word to use to classify the different societies I have seen. I live in North America so that was the reference I used. I was talking about the difference between our society (are we the First World?) and some parts of the Third World. (Who on earth is the second world?)
Of course, North American society and most of European society have swingers etc., and other educated, and prosperous societies have free love and swingers.
I have to agree that those who need spice up their sex life with their partners are jaded, or with the wrong partners. Some of us have had happy marriages with all the spice and chemistry they ever wanted. There are posts that say things like "chemistry is a myth". Those of us who have experience true chemistry/love know that we felt something off the scale, so had no need for swinging etc. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/29/2006 9:06:52 PM | | The swingers are a minority, and even though some have not experienced love or chemistry, they still have values and don't feel the need to be swingers. To me it is a sad society that thinks sex is the most important thing in life. It is important, but a loving, nuturing, caring relationship is much more important, JMO | |
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