| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/3/2006 3:41:22 PM | Another reason for not swinging for me........need to0 many accessories that I don't enjoy.
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ya472
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Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 127 | |
| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/3/2006 3:47:27 PM | Msg #118 Judy
I have a friend in Las Vegas and yes they are swingers..
Confusing.
He lives separate from his wife, they have an open marriage and he would like you to come down and participate, but his wife is Bi and you are or are NOT chatting with her ???
Sounds like a common Married-Man's story.
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/5/2006 4:05:23 AM | No disclaimer here. It's called having an open mind.
What others choose to do in private is their business, and know one elses. The fact that we talk about it openly is great, but thats all it should be. TALK! Knowone should be bashing someone elses life style just because it differs from their own.
Swinging is just another form of sex. I may not interact with this style, but then again, I might like something different that doesn't agree with others, and they even think of it as the same way they do swinging. EX: maybe I like tub sex, or prefer over the kitchen chair, or how about anal. One is NO different from the other, IT"S SEX and how each person likes their sex.
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/6/2006 10:40:46 AM | | Wow, six pages of stereotypes and bashing. Let's just look at the fat, bald guy and say he's a dirty old man for having a relationship with two women. Now what the heck is it that has everyone up in arms? Is it the fact that he has sex with multiples or that he's fat and bald? As far as I'm concerned, when a debate degenerates into attacks about a persons physical appearance it's because they have no argument but feel personally insulted on some level. Get over it people. I'm sure I could come into your home and find something I don't agree with but I happen to believe that you are entitled to live your life as you see fit and it is not up to me to judge you. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/6/2006 3:46:10 PM | I was once approached by a man I was dating as to whether I would like to have a threesome or a foursome. My response was "Sure thing, there, darlin'. So, which of YOUR buddies is joining us? That really good looking one, I hope, and if you want a foursome you'd better bring two of them." The answer from him was dead silence. Then, I hear "errrrrrr, I meant me and you and another woman", to which I replied "sorry, if you don't do men, then I don't do women". That was the LAST time something like that was ever mentioned. Well, fair is fair, you know. Don't I get to pick too?
Lardy Sister Mary! You're are making smile too much in front of these people in this coffee joint! LOL
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/6/2006 5:28:43 PM | | You know, I have NO idea why he was not enthusiastic about my idea. Oh, well, I dumped him years ago, so I guess I'll never know. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/7/2006 9:19:53 AM | After a lot of reading, there is one point I think people are missing. You are grouping several differnt sub-groups into one title "Swingers". That is not being fair. Here is my take:
1) There are people with open relationships, they are not into multiple partners at the same time, they have and understanding and each have another partner. Most of them have very governing rules about activities and the use of protection.
2) Legitimate swingers that couples get together to enjoy friendship and other activities. This is not just about sex, its about friendships and long term relationships.
3) The people out there that are just looking for sex, 3somes and 4somes, this is the purely sexual group that would have the potential of spreading std's.... If not carefull.
4) The fake swingers that the man has convinced his wife she is BI so he can have sex with her and some other woman at the same time. A LOT OF THESE FREAKS OUT THERE. What woman in her right mind would allow this.
We have an open relationship, and are very comfortable with it. This doesnt mean that we have a number of different partners. We have a very carefull selection process, which in some cases we ask each others opinions.
I even had a relationship, where my wife has became friends with my partner, and subsequently has become a little difficult, so the intimacy stops, and a friendship grows.
As far as the kids go, our kids are grown up, and adult enough to deal with things. They are fully aware of our relationship, and are comfortable with it.
I think the reason most people wont post here is there is too much flaming going on. I posted once about a year ago, and people ranted that I was trying to convince them that this was right/wrong. NOT TRUE. The question was asked, and I posted my beliefs, you dont like it no big deal, I don't care. If you can read it and understand it for what it is then you truely are a forward thinking person. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/7/2006 10:09:24 AM | All I can say is whatever works. I don't judge anyone, and if it works for them, fine with me.  | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/8/2006 10:04:42 PM |
What I am wondering is why no one that is a swinger or had this experience has not answered this thread.
I HAVE had some of these experiences, many moons ago, when that kind of thing was safe. We were kids in our mid-20's, experimenting with things that were safer than drugs. It started out with three involved couples, a few beers, reduced inhibitions, and then strip poker. It progressed slowly, and was exciting as anything we had ever done. Unfortunately, the next morning, we were all pretty embarrassed about what happened, but I don't believe anyone really regretted it. I just wish someone would have taken pictures... 
Can you imagine if Ross and Joey and Rachel and Monica and Chandler and Phoebe were REAL people? They were so close, that I GUARANTEE there would have been some swapping going on there.
I have a couple more, but I don't want to bore you... | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 12/11/2006 8:19:46 AM | | Well put. People are taught this is right and this is wrong and do only this and do only that til they have no real beliefs or opinions of their own. WooHooo to all of u out of the box thinkers or we would still be in the dark ages with a flat world. Amazing that most humans only use 2 percent of their brains and its wasted on what they are taught and made to believe. Not very long ago they thought asthma was all in ur head-now they know its a poorly treated chronic inflamitory disease. Thats why they are constantly updating medical books coz most of whats in them is only partially correct. If you enjoy a fun cpls company-hit us up. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 2/27/2007 7:30:17 AM | When you love someone and trust them to to the right thing, why would there be jealousy. Jealousy is simply ones insecurity coming out. If you are secure in your relationshi[, and better yet secure in yourself there will be no jealousy.
To be quite honest, if D found someone out there better than me all the more power to her. Because if she did find someone better , then I am certainly not doing my part in the relationship. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 2/27/2007 9:19:02 AM | "BECAUSE I have had a woman sleep over, with my children's knowledge, I think it is better they draw their own (innocent or not) conclusions about what is happening behind that closed door
But what is really important, THEY SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WOMAN IS HERE BECAUSE WE LIKE EACH OTHER. That isn't something to be ashamed of."
LOL YA 472 I couln't agree more! I have never introduced anyone to my grown children or my granchildren as "this is so and so we are having sex". They would know for sure it was time to put me in the dementia home. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 2/27/2007 10:12:24 AM | OP. I'm sure no one here is a pervert. Would I ever lie to you?
The odds of me lying to you are oh astronomical. Even bigger. What can I tell you.
I think what you wrote belongs on the Ten Commandments.
No, seriously, most are just seeking the same things. Feeling dirty doesn't come till much later.
We're out of the sandbox. I hear. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 2/27/2007 1:31:15 PM | | Swingers are ok, what people do is there own business. And if they enjoy themselves more power to them. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 2/27/2007 3:54:22 PM | I agree with most on here,and Im not uptight when it comes to sex!I just dont want to see any man of mine doing someone else .....No thanks!!
I got a kick out of RON I beleive his name was on an earlier post on this topic saying every date is Ok my name is (fill in the blank )and wanna????He said DROP their drawers!!! OMG I loved it..In my case the few ...very few I have met seem to think coffee is foreplay..They have been cheap, and full of themselves ,OH OK Buddy Im hot now!!Please guys romance a little, alot of us still want that ,listen to us....ask questions about us...Do u want to date someone special or just get laid..if a woman is on here looking for a LT commited relationship dont insult her by thinking you are gonna get lucky...Thats just what I have ran into if youre looking just for fun dont answer LOOKING for A REAL man... Are there any men in massachsetts dang they are so scarce up here!! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 2/27/2007 7:19:13 PM | I don't think they are perverts or as bad looking as you present them to be. Some really nice people are into it and that's fine for them because they enjoy it that way.
But it's not something I would enjoy much because I know myself and how I would likely respond. If I was with a guy who was into it I would not be able to join him easily. And it would take me a long time if I ever was able to.
I'm too jealous, possessive, one-on-one, whatever you want to call it for it to be a truly viable option for me. I'd rather see him pay sex trade workers and keep that part of his life separate from me.
I can see myself being more comfortable answering the question of where he might be with "if I know [insert a name], he's out getting laid" than I would be in joining him. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 2/28/2007 7:45:00 PM | Whether you like it or not, other people will do what they want and justify it. None of us have a right to judge it but can we stay within our own standards.
There are plenty of swingers that have long term relationships and claim the swinging has kept them together.
I think there's a jealously factor in that swingers don't find it hard to get partners and those that find it difficult to get partners have climbed so high up on their own morality ladder, they need someone to scoff at to feel good about themselves.
Perverted? I think people that can't find a relationship are are more perverted than swingers because they have too many fears about who they will relate with.
Announcing to the world what you will not put up with is an extreme detriment to finding a mate. I find that to be a very passive form of aggression. So, I guess it's good these people aren't in a relationship driving their partner crazy by saying "I don't like that" all the time.
While you're exclaiming there goes another crazy swinger, the swingers are saying "There goes another lonely single". | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 3/1/2007 7:44:11 AM | Ok guilty as charged MacKevinized . I have caught myself saying this one before
While you're exclaiming there goes another crazy swinger, the swingers are saying "There goes another lonely single". | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:18:14 AM |
When you love someone and trust them to to the right thing, why would there be jealousy. Jealousy is simply ones insecurity coming out. If you are secure in your relationshi[, and better yet secure in yourself there will be no jealousy.
To be quite honest, if D found someone out there better than me all the more power to her. Because if she did find someone better , then I am certainly not doing my part in the relationship
If you are in a secure relationship where you really love and trust someone, why would you ever want to do something that has the potential to shake that solid foundation and cause possible damage?
Do you put yourself out there with the possibility of "finding someone better", and then claim, "more power to them", or do you really love, cherish, and honor them and never entertain the idea?
Jealousy has no chance to take root, if you don't provide the fertile soil. Especially when you're in a committed relationship already. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 3/1/2007 10:24:13 AM | Well Bowled Over I tried to PM you but got blocked, its actually a long story and it pretty much evolved from there. We both travel a lot for business, and sometimes are apart for months.
My typical contracts last from 3-9 mos, and for budget reason sometime only fly home ever 6 weeks. For most people this is not a long time frame, but when you have been doing it all of your life it gets a little lonely on the road.
We have been married for 15 yrs, and as I have posted before are very happy and content. Our external relationships are not just about sex, as others would tend to think. Its mostly about friendship, which sometimes leads to closeness, and even sometimems intimacy.
We have even had partners that have become close friends of the family, obviously in these types of situations the intimacy usually stops to reduce complications, and prevent things getting out of hand.
Its also about a win-win situaion, neither of us wants any of our partners to walk away from any situation thinking that the got taken advantage of or were used. We are clear up front as to expectatons of any relationship, and make sure there is a full understanding..... even if it is a 1 night deal.
It is sad that a lot of people clump open relationships, swinging, and sex freaks into one basket. There are a lot of us out there with good hearts, good intentions that are given a label. When I discuss our relationship with people that do I ask, I try to simply state the way we live.
I dont expect most people to understand it, in fact very few do. Even swingers think we are wierd, cause we are not into multiple partners at the same time, and so here we are part of a small group of people that are judged by everyone. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 3/1/2007 12:24:32 PM |
It is sad that a lot of people clump open relationships, swinging, and sex freaks into one basket. There are a lot of us out there with good hearts, good intentions that are given a label. When I discuss our relationship with people that do I ask, I try to simply state the way we live.
I dont expect most people to understand it, in fact very few do. Even swingers think we are wierd, cause we are not into multiple partners at the same time, and so here we are part of a small group of people that are judged by everyone.
I am assuming you don't mind people commenting on it since you put it out there for general dissection. I can only say that I don't understand a "commitment" like this. The names you assign; "swinging and sex freaks" are your titles not mine. I wasn't even really sure if you were categorizing yourself as a swinger, but in the very least I could gather that you and your wife have an open marriage.
If it works for you fine. My idea and definition of commitment to a person is vastly different than yours. Do I think your way is weird? Well for me, yes. I believe that it's hard enough in this day and age for people to stay together and nurture a relationship built on trust and genuine fondness for one another. You start throwing other partners and extra curricular intimacies in the mix and it just creates a situation ripe for hurt and pain in my humble estimation.
I am fully aware of the swinging lifestyle and the kind of thinking person you need to be to accept and embrace the philosophy. It's foreign to me and goes against my moral fiber. I would never find it acceptable to share my lover and partner with anyone. Those are just my convictions and guideline I adhere to that I feel addresses my worth as a committed partner.
If two people can come together and truly embrace an alternative lifestyle in a manner that honors their value and worth for eachother, kudos to them. It just doesn't seem likely to be a win-win situation to me. It's booby-trapped for mishaps in my opinion. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 3/2/2007 10:47:47 AM | thanks BowledOver for your kind words. Even though you dont agree with it, your words are probably the kindest I have heard from anyone that is aware of our situation.
I would like to think that everyone involved gets something good out of our situations, and so far it has. I do hope that this pattern goes forward. I would be the last one to want to hurt someones feelings, there is too much of that going on in the world as it is.
Amor vincit omnia | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 6/5/2007 5:29:55 AM | I am lucky if I can trot, let alone swing, but I have seen people on TV shows, like Dr. Phil who swing in middle age. And what ever happened to Ron Jeremy, that old porn star? 
Someone like him will kill the "joy of sex" for me!
Maybe it works best for blind people...or the nearsighted...they can take their glasses off & it's all a wonderful BLUR! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/6/2007 3:44:02 PM | What I am wondering is why no one that is a swinger or had this experience has not answered this thread.,, POSTED BY Amplified
BECAUSE , no matter what any swinger would say,, it would be ripped to shreds by ppl like yourself who have arrived at your own conclusions about it, and theres no point debating the point with a brick wall filled with conclusions based on no real info.
i am a firm believer that it doesnt matter what a person says, or does, ppl will believe what they want based on their own agendas. | |
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