| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/6/2007 7:02:03 PM | Message #149 by AngelicB- Dr. Phil swings?? Who'd have thought??? :-)
I skimmed through these posts out of curiosity, looking for an explanation from people who participate in group sex, or swing, or have an open relationship, of why they do not find a sexual relationship with one person enough.
It seems rather foreign to me and to lots of other people, so I wonder how others seem to get past it so easily.
Putting aside whether it's morally right or wrong, who is open-minded and who is not because we could go on forever about that and I don't think one person is going to change their mind, can anyone explain the motivation for it? Yeah, yeah, you might get bashed but really, do you care? This is probably minor compared to what you've faced before.
My guess is that it would be fairly hard to get past the instinctive inhibitions, the warnings about the health risk of sex with multiple partners, and the morale messages heard growing up, so how do you do that? Is it that somehow you find it exciting?? You feel more in control when you can have sex any way you want it?? What's going on??
I'm also interested in the comment about people who have profiles in both the intimate encounter section, and describe that they are interested in group or alternate sex, and also post in the long-term relationship category. Don't understand that one either, and wonder why people aren't more up-front about it.
Can anyone explain this??
P.S. I think I saw Ron Jeremy on a fifth-rate reality show - something to do with D grade celebrities - mini-me was on it too. Don't laugh - it was on at the gym while I was on the treadmill! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/6/2007 9:28:54 PM |
...looking for an explanation from people who participate in group sex, or swing, or have an open relationship, of why they do not find a sexual relationship with one person enough... ...I wonder how others seem to get past it so easily
I would suspect it was the ego boost and the fact that it feels great... any other theories?
I'm also interested in the comment about people who have profiles in both the intimate encounter section, and describe that they are interested in group or alternate sex, and also post in the long-term relationship category. Don't understand that one either, and wonder why people aren't more up-front about it.
Can anyone explain this??
This one is tougher... the only thing I could guess would be that they're compulsive liars or totally screwed up mentally. Oh wait, that could be the same thing! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/7/2007 12:36:53 AM | I think the reason people aren't more up-front about things like this is because they have felt the judgmental nature of people coming out when the subject is...controversial.
Many years ago (in the '70's) we carried on with just one other couple for about a year and a half. We felt we loved them dearly and began sharing everything, but never in a group situation. It ended when I felt our children should be closer to their grandparents (so we moved back to our home state) and I found myself with an increasingly strong attachment for the woman of the other couple. It was getting out of control inside me, but the others seemed OK. I knew I didn't want to do anything to destroy either marriage and I felt I could not talk openly about my growing love for the other man's wife (hey, she was a supremely good lover and I wanted that ALL the time! remember, I was 27-28 then).
I speak of this experience to very few people anymore. There may be many people who participate in swinging/swapping activities, but few fess-up and many pretend to look down their noses at those who have done such things.
And these days, I find honest and caring swapping (with strictly one couple) more normal, moral, and acceptable than the indescriminate sexual escapades of today's "liberated" hetero- and homosexuals. IMHO | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/7/2007 1:28:34 PM | P.S. I think I saw Ron Jeremy on a fifth-rate reality show - something to do with D grade celebrities - mini-me was on it too. Don't laugh - it was on at the gym while I was on the treadmill!
I wouldn't have sex w/ Ron Jeremy even if I was hornier than a dog in heat & he was the last man on earth..the man is a beast, & was one even in his heydey. I feel sorry for the women who had to boink him
but I have seen people on TV shows, like Dr. Phil who swing in middle age.
ugh- reword it- Dr. Phil had a show on older swingers. I doubt Dr. Phil swings- Robin wouldn't let him! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:08:26 AM | To each their own people... I get amused watching how people thing just because some people have very active sexual appatites they are perverts. People are just different, I'm not saying it's wrong or right and neither should anyone else. I've known and even dated a "swinger" while yes I was curious.. I can't personally do it. I do good not to screw up names when I'm dating one person, god only knows how stupid I'd be having 2 or 3. But then, I've also been curious about BDSM.. doesn't mean I want you to whip my azz everytime we have sex!!! I like healthy sex... and adding excitement to a relationship is wonderful, between me and them only. I personally can never trust a man who has enjoyed a swingers life because to me, they never stop thinking in that mentality.
What I have noticed about "swingers" is that open that door for infidelity between themselves. I have argued this with a person who him and his wife were swingers, well.. geez.. she left him for another man... then he tried to tell me there were rules!! Well, to me the rule is there are no rules. You can't say.. oh sure honey you can have sex with joe bob but only if I'm doing his wife in the other room. Right there you are not following your marriage vows therefore why be married? I guess it's healthy for some people and for some it might actually work. But you have to have a VERY STRONG marriage/relationship with your SO. Personally, I can't see myself ever having THAT strong of a relationship with anyone!!!
Also, I do not think people realize just how normal this is and how many peopel are involved, look it up in your area.. look for a group.. you WILL find one!!! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:26:58 AM | Whether I personally, agree with the swinging lifestyle or not...I do not condemn it. What people do behind clsed doors is their business, As far as them talking about it openly, if you talk about your "high Standards" openly, why should they not be as open.
We are too quick to point our fingers at others with an air of superiority. As an adult..you can do what you want. And all this talk about STDs...we do know about condoms, do we not??
Let's get real...we are all people with different morals and values. Christian-Judeo ethics go right out the window when the bedroom door closes. Some people preach that oral sex is taboo, and certainly anal sex is taboo. And yet, I am learning from these threads that a lot of older people engage in these activities. However I am sure they are not discussed at he ladies prayer meeting.
Can't we agree that people are piople and instead of throwing rocks at each other...just say not for me, but wharever makes your boat float!! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:37:12 AM | | People are always going to be judgemental.. but its always the things they do not get involved in that is immoral!!! Who is to say things are immoral, if it makes people happy then more power to them. I think that as we mature and get more comfortable with ourselves and our bodies we are more willing to experiment with our sexuality. I think as adults we've earned the right to do what feels good to us and not worry about what everyone else thinks. Sometimes is the being TABOO that makes it feel so good to people. Or so I think. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:39:09 AM | I only have one middle-aged friend who admitted to having tried it. She wasn't happy with the result but isn't sorry she took a chance.
It's not my cup of tea, but I'm not about to throw stones at people who find it satisfying. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/8/2007 8:00:47 AM | No thanks....I still can't believe, in this day and age of FATAL STD'S such as AIDS, people are still acting, sexually speaking, like it's the 1960's.....
I think I'll just say inside my "box" and LIVE! | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/8/2007 8:03:07 AM | Hay,
I'm one of those bald with semi huge gut and I don't swing and never have or will...............smile.
I don't think they are "dirty perverts".
Myself, I can only handle one woman at a time.
I wouldn't want more then one in my love life at a time.
Like you, I do think it could be a breeding ground for stds.
Have a great day, des777 | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/12/2007 8:22:10 AM | | my wife and i ,sometimes do the swing thing,,,,swingers are not ugly,empty,or lonley..swingers are some of the coolest , kindest people we have ever met...swingers are every day people that are honest and like to have fun..dont knock it or put people down unless you have ,or should i say -unless you feel good enough about your self and you spouse to give a try | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/14/2007 12:10:58 PM | Interesting subject here.well just something to get the mind trust going again.
does anyone here read a bible? well seems to me the bible is full of men with multiple wives, and concubines.Did God condemn them?hmmmmmmmmm. not an oppinion just something to see what the world thinks about that ? is that considered swinging? well in my own opinion how in the world does a man handle a hundred wives?   | |
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jjen7
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Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 163 | |
| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/16/2007 3:17:00 AM | hi i agree ..theres got to be a special feeling when your making love ......otherwise its just plain SEX....you can get that anywhere , with anyone ,...but youve got to feel the sex ,with that speacial person .......cant really explain the feeling ......but you know when its there ...its the best feeling in the world !!!!!it blows your socks off !!!!  | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 164 | |
| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/16/2007 5:33:23 AM | | Since I do not see anything coming on the horizon, may try swinging it, I'll start sideways first; hope to get some lady's attention. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:22:56 PM | Here a thought. Swingers are being deemed some form of social misfits. I not sure why the person started this forum topic but I am confused to the content. We are all in one way or another either closet or open swingers. Perhaps the concept of sex and love have been confused over the years. This I know is the truth 60% of married women are having or have had an affair, and the number is higher for men. What is an affair but a form of swinging in the closet. Hey does anybody remember until do us part. Well once you’re divorced doesn't mean anyone can whore around again. But for most of we do. We have or secret sexual lives behind the doors and lies. Wake up and wonder why you slept with this or that person and where is one self respect. I am not a swinger but the few that I know, there are married need not hide their lies, and are very respectfully people.
I am not condoning their actions but I will not judge them for their own personal choices between two consenting adult.
I am not impressed with the need to cause another hate forum upon another group of people. Lord there is too much type casting and hate going on.
Who said? He who has no sin...cast the first stone!
Perhaps one should think about.
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:39:54 PM | "Wake up and wonder why you slept with this or that person and where is one self respect."
Wrong..........we aren't all like that. Some of us choose to live another way. I couldn't care less how others live. I do have a problem when I hear it assumed that we are all that way but we hide it. | |
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phlye
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Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 167 | |
| middle aged swingers; if it works...?
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:05:21 PM | Taking advice from people who pontificate without first-hand experience is as useful as offering golf tips to Tiger Woods. allzie I can say is, don't knock it until you've tried it.
Live and let live; to each their own. Familiar with 'polyamoury'? If not, Google it.
Hugs all around!  | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/24/2007 5:57:30 AM | sister mary said I have some questions for the "swingers".
Would you have a problem with telling your children what you are doing?
What do you think their reaction would be if they found out?
If you don't think there's anything "wrong" with it, why is it such a deep dark secret? One would think you would have the courage of your convictions,""""
swinger or not,,, who on earth as a parent discusses their sexual habits with their children??? think about it,,,even out of the lifestyle, i wouldnt and didnt and wont discuss my sexual habits, tendancies, fantasies, etc with my kids, and they are all grown. its not a matter of having courage of convictions,, its about what is appropriate topic of convo with your kids. ones sex life, imho, doesnt make the appropriate list.
and btw,, if my kids did find out that i was in the life for a bit,, they would be fine with it,, CUZ I RAISED THEM TO BE OPEN MINDED AND RESPECTFUL OF OTHER PPLS CHOICES. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/24/2007 1:27:16 PM | | I don't have the energy to swing; it's all I can do to stay awake for the hoop-te-hoo. | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/24/2007 3:45:26 PM | I have a hard enough time keeping up with one person....couldnt even fathum 2 of everything in the same bed with me  | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 8/25/2007 10:47:18 AM | one thing for sure...
de-stigmatize most of so called taboo sexual behavior between consenting adults and you likely will have a healthier society...
so, maybe they are pervs, who should care? | |
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| more than one intimate encounter section???
Posted: 8/25/2007 10:54:01 AM | respecting std's...
if people weren't forced into shameful reactions to otherwise healthy adult sexual behaviours (whose business is it if you like to get spanked while being force fed pablum?) they would go for help at the first sign of sexually transmissible disease...
society forces people into hiding and they hide everything until threat of death "out's" them...
eliminate taboo and you have a healthier society...
physically and emotionally... | |
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| middle aged swingers ;0p
Posted: 11/25/2007 9:11:52 PM | | If you haven't been to a swingers club but criticize it, get lost. You don't know what happens. Most people end up socializing, not everyone jumps into bed with someone else. I've been in an alternative lifestyle relationship, we rarely got physical with others but we made tremendous friends. Despite the sexual revolution, the US leads the world in hangups about sex. | |
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