| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 2:35:31 PM | **NEWSFLAS**
Snowwhite has been evicted from Disney land!!!
It has been reported she had an addiction to 7up
This sex is sex a sex good sex way sex to sex keep sex a sex daft sex twat sex busy sex for sex a sex minute (now read again without the sex)
Pi$$ the taking someones that realise you that point this at is it. (read backwords)
ur great, i love the way ur nose wrinkles when u smile, the way yur eyes glow when you laugh, the way a whole room lights up just because you have walked in. Ur ust magical...Flattered?? Dont be this was sent to me, I just wanted you to read it. | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 2:37:32 PM | Just going through my phone got loads of them!
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
Of all the babes your my selection. Please don't give me a rejection. My teeth are clean for your Inspection so give my mouth a tongue injection!
Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Every1 can see it but only you can feel its true warmth. Thank you for being the pee in my pants .
*NEWSFLASH* An independent study has proven that those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are reading this message in their right hand!
*NEWSFLASH* Police are looking for a suspect who's smart sexy witty & very gorgeous- they've already eliminated you from the enquiry (where do you think i should hide?)
Dear friend! Do you take me to be your lawful text mate. To have & to hold. For dirty quotes or saucy jokes. In text messaging & in poor signal. Until low battery do us part? | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 3:10:03 PM | There's group sex, safe sex, gay sex, animal sex, straight sex, anal sex, fruit sex and for a person with a face like yours....there's wanking
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 3:23:12 PM | | dont know why you finished with me, well i am not bothered, your not normal enough for me, i have a real man now, oh by the way i have hep c tosser | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 4:15:32 PM | The Lords Prayer: My vibro, which brings me heaven. Rabbit be thy name. Til Kingdom come, thy makest me cum, on earth with eyes on heaven. Give me this day my daily thrill, and forgive me my scream, as I forgive flat batteries. Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from frustration. For thine is the rotation, the power and the buzzing, for ever and ever, no men!  | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 4:30:14 PM | I got this yesterday and passed it on straightaway. My colleague Dave didn't quite read it all, and said ' er, Chris, did you actually mean to send this to me......?' I had to tell him to look at it again .
I shall seek and find you
I shall take you to bed and control you
I will make you ache, sweat and shake until you grunt and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when i leave you,
and you'll be weak for days!!
all my luv....
The Flu | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 4:30:36 PM | Hi, it's me, your mobile.
You havent got a message. I just wanted you to take me out of your pocket because your nob stinks. | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 4:32:51 PM | Hi There is no point to this text message, its quite boring really.
I was just a little bit bored and fancied wasting your time and a little bit of ur battery!
Byee!!! | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 4:37:47 PM | The most annoying text message I get is from my mum every saturday.
every time it says
"Hi pet, can u call me?
Luv mum xxx
LOL I wouldnt mind but I just bought her the phone with so many free weekend calls!! | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/19/2007 5:47:06 PM | Replace the x's with your chosen personal hate.
**Newsflash** Every xxxx in the world has just dropped dead..........
.......................................................................
Carlsberg don't do text messages. But if they did...... | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/20/2007 12:11:04 AM | NEWSFLASH!!!
Aliens have invaded earth and are abducting all gorgeous, sexy people. don't worry, you're safe. i'm just texting to say goodbye!  | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/20/2007 6:09:23 AM | Got sent this one the other day by one of my mates, wouldn't mind but he's no oil painting
Thank you for your photo enquiry to extreme make overs, we need to let you know that we have only surgeons, not fcukin magicians.
Ha, just sent him 1 about being arrested for being the ugliest b4stard in Uk that I read on here | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/20/2007 6:24:33 AM | My favourite:
Message from www.dating.com
Your dating ad has been on the net for eight weeks without a reply.
Do you want us to try for a week without a picture?
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/20/2007 7:35:05 AM | ferrari's f1 team manager decided to employ some liverpudlian teenagers
as their new pit crew.
this was because of their renowned skill when removing car wheels quickly.
at the first practice session not only did they change all 4 wheels in 6 seconds,
within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the ****er 2 the mclaren team for
8 cases off stella, a bag off weed, and some pictures off coulthards bird gettin shagged up the a***!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/20/2007 8:15:33 AM | | Got some Saddam Hussein T-Shirts for sale, bit tight around the neck but they hang well. | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/21/2007 5:59:39 AM | it takes looks to catch the eye, personality to catch the heart
and you have both of them
Flattered
F~~K off, it was sent to me, just wanted you to see it | |
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*GJ*
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Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 67 | |
| funny text messages
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:28:13 AM | I was sent this one the other day made me laugh
Today is international disadvantaged peoples day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend just as i've done. I don't care if you like windows, interfere with farm animals, or occasioinally shit yourself. You hang in there sunshine, you're f***ing special! | |
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*GJ*
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Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 68 | |
| funny text messages
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:32:59 AM | | Thats why I got it I can't even spell lick correctly lol | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:47:22 AM | | This is probably gonna be deleted but here goes.......Scientists have discovered that the average penis weighs 1lb. They are now researching the weight of the average c***. Be a good lad, pop on the scales and call me back. | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/21/2007 8:10:05 AM | | to all my friends who wished me good luck for 2006 it did FCUK all....this year please send cash, voucher or beer. | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/21/2007 9:59:49 AM | woman: DOC, I KEEP OPENING MY LEGS AND EVERY TIME MY FANNY SHOUTS "C'MON THE HOOPS! (or opposing other team here), why is this happening?
doc" Dnt worry, lots of fannies shout that!
messages this short cannot ne posted ^^^^ grrrrrr
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:49:19 AM | what gets longer when its pulled, fits nicely between your tits, inserts neatly in to a hole and works best when its jerked?
A seat belt you pervert, buckle up and pass it on!
message too short again for goodness sake | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/23/2007 9:48:10 PM | Two old ladies sat in a coffee shop.....one says to the other ... "did you come on the bus?"
...."yes, but I made it look like an asthma attack" | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/24/2007 12:06:42 AM | A woman was in a coma4 several months, 1 day the nurses noticed a slight response while washing her fanny. They rushed 2 her husband and explained suggesting a little oral sex might bring her round 2 which he agreed. A few minutes later her monitor flat lined, no pulse or heart rate. The nurses rushed in “what happened” they cried. The husband said “I’m not sure, she may have chocked”
Police arrested 2 local youths last night for drinking battery acid & playing with fireworks. They decided to charge 1 & let the other 1 off!
Young boy brings pet cat into classroom. Teacher asks him why. He said, I heard my sisters boyfriend saying “when I come home tomorrow I will eat your ****”
A priest is very found of his rooster and hens. His rooster goes missing. Next day in church he asks, has anybody got a****all the men stood up. No I mean has anybody seen a****all the women stood up. No I mean has anybody seen a****that doesn’t belong to them-half the women stood up. No he says angrily has anybody seen my****all the choir boys stood up! | |
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| funny text messages
Posted: 1/24/2007 1:46:40 AM | Farts are fun,
There is no doubt,
You raise your leg and slip one out.
While others gasp in the stinking fog,
You just shrug and blame the dog!!! | |
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