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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/5/2006 3:34:14 PM | | Read your profile....maybe that line under Interests...."Total Satisfaction Of All Desires"...think about it....can anyone ever be totally satisfied in every desire? I know the first thought that came to my mind was "why bother, I'll never be able to please any human being totally". | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/5/2006 3:34:19 PM | | Read your profile....maybe that line under Interests...."Total Satisfaction Of All Desires"...think about it....can anyone ever be totally satisfied in every desire? I know the first thought that came to my mind was "why bother, I'll never be able to please any human being totally". | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/5/2006 3:48:31 PM | for the Glasgow woman hater...let's get some things straight...
first of all if men didn't judge by looks when trying to find a woman, we wouldn't resort to all this fakeness...
now for your list...I do not wear control top panty hose...panty hose are kind of an old and outdated concept at this point, although tights are big for the fall/winter
fake eyelashes...i have small eyelashes and they're pale, so yeah i wear mascara...i tried the fake ones for a bellydance performance and couldn't figure the dang things out...i've heard i can get some glued in that will last for two weeks and that seem like a cool idea to me...I have beautiful eyes, why not play them up? as for Spanx...no thanxs...push up bras...definitely...how else are we going to get men to notice us unless we push out boobs right into their faces? but the idea is support, that's why they make bras in the first place...false nails...yeah i got them...because i have always had very weak nails that would peel and break...hair extensions....uhm no....spandex clothing, no...lycra...in swimsuits and partially in dance wear...make up ....definitely...although unless i'm at work, most days i'm not wearing it...
remember most of us are professionals and are expected to look professional for our careers...and since most of corporate america is run by men...hmm...who set the standards for our professional look????
hey u forgot one....hair color....I was a blonde til age four...now i use loreal...but the hair on my arms and legs (if i wasn't so fake and didn't shave) is all pale blonde...if that makes me a liar...oh geez...this whole idea is ridiculous
as for the fake orgasms...I have NEVER faked an orgasm and refuse to do that...sometimes it's just not going to happen and i'm honest enough to tell the guy straight up it's not....how he reacts is his hang up not mine
so as for mr. glasgow...i know there are women out there who refuse to shave and don't wear deodarant or perfume...and are into being theirselves au naturel....I guess that's what you seek...i hope u find her and she makes you very happy....and that she doesn't fake orgasms | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/6/2006 8:38:02 PM | Come on people (guys), it's really simple...laughter is an emotion, women love the emotional side of life...do the math, how many pictures in a romance novel...well? ...Not counting the cover...the answer is ZERO. Do your self a favor and read one or two, now don't read the book, read the words and how it describes each and every situation, setting, ect.
You don't and shouldn't to be a comedian, save that for the professionals (although that would make a great (2nd) date...a comedy club...share the emotion of laughter...). Ok here's some homework...read (or watch...DVD) "The Notebook" with James Garner and Gena Rowlands:
"...The movie focuses on an old man reading a story to an old woman in a nursing home. The story he reads follows two young lovers named Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun, who meet one evening at a carnival. But they are separated by Allie's parents who dissaprove of Noah's unwealthy family, and move Allie away. After waiting for Noah to write her for several years, Allie meets and gets engaged to a handsome young soldier named Lon. Allie, then, with her love for Noah still alive, stops by Noah's 200-year-old home that he restored for her, "to see if he's okay". It is evident that they still have feelings for each other, and Allie has to choose between her fiancé and her first love..."
Great Stuff...
Keep the Faith
-Agualung-
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/7/2006 7:50:45 PM | | Hmm...I was wondering what The Notebook was about. I've seen so many women listing it as a book they've read. Now that I have an idea of what it's about, I think I'll give it a read. Oh, and on the nice guy topic, it seems us nice guys just have to keep trying. I've tried countless times with women and I get outright rejected by the ones who say they want a nice guy. We just have to keep looking for the ones that really are looking for what they say they are looking for. Um, follow that last sentence carefully, lol. Anyways, patience is what will pay off, because women won't fall into your lap by sitting there and doing nothing. | |
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speyes
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Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 257 | |
| You'll Love my Sofa!
Posted: 11/8/2006 3:16:09 AM | Rose, if this nice guy is worth it, send him a card or an e-mail asking him to go out for coffee. You could even saunter over with your cute self and ask him to eat lunch with you . No pressure
hi Kloey, Rose is my cousin so she asked me to drop by and say thanx for the advice, she took it and now she's off here and dating him! he's a genuinely lovely guy and i really hope it works out for them.
so all you nice guys out there have hope cos they just show you can get what you want ventually and it is a nice guy we want! just hope i'm as lucky! | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/9/2006 9:40:29 AM | | it would be great to find a nice guy but finding one is this county is next to impossible over half of the guys are in jail or just got out or about to go and the other half are abusive ***holes!!!!! whats up with that | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/9/2006 9:58:35 AM | | Dazed, just out of morbid curiosity, where in the world are you searching for dudefellers? I know hundreds of nice guys. Of course, I'm a rather social individual and in all probability, I know too many people, but the point is that sometimes people look so hard that they don't see. It's rather hard to see the good in people if you're constantly straining to see the bad... | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/9/2006 10:52:24 AM | dazed and lonely, there are plenty of nice guys around, just maybe not where you are. Or maybe you haven't been looking in the right places. Sometimes I believe there aren't any nice women around, but I know that's not true. They are around, but many of them are either taken or they're not right for me, ie. too young or too old. And if you haven't considered it, try thinking about a long distance relationship if you want to snag a nice man. Some of us do give serious thought when thinking about wether or not we want a long distance relationship. And one more thing, I don't see why you should have trouble getting dates. You sound like a great person and you look good too. I think the guys there don't know what they're missing. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/9/2006 11:47:56 AM | Top 10 Things Men Do Wrong That Cause Them To Fail With Women:
MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A "Nice Guy"
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.
And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT.
Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To
"Convince Her To Like You"
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just notinterested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her
For Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here.
You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...
MISTAKE #4: Trying To "Buy"Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
Well guess what?
It's only NATURAL when this happens...
That's right, I said NATURAL.
When you do these things, you send a clear message:
"I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".
Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
MISTAKE #5: Sharing "How You Feel"Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Attractive women are rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME.
An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...
MISTAKE #6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
But does the same apply for women?
Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.
Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?
Think about it.
Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY guy can learn how...
MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.
And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...
And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.
YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.
Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.
Another bad idea...
Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind...
A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.
And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...
Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
And you KNOW it.
It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all.
Listen to your friends.
Read books.
Hope this helps! | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/9/2006 4:40:42 PM | OH Kingpin192, I couldn't agree with you more!!! Dazed and Lonely........apparently you've been talking to the wrong men! I'm also in Florida along with you and with Kingpin, and I've met soooo many absolutely wonderful men on this site!!! In fact, a lot of them aren't right for me for whatever reason.....HOWEVER, they have turned out to be wonderful, wonderful close friends that I wouldn't give up for anything.
Oh and, btw........you might want to check out Kingpin. I happen to know him and he's a good catch, too!!!!!! Way too young for me, but you're more in his age bracket! Best of luck to you "Dazed and Lonely" in your search for a really nice guy. They are out there, believe me.......just don't give up!!!! Love and Peace to you, Kat | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/9/2006 4:58:13 PM | If a woman is so scared that a 'nice guy' is 'Ted Bundy' then there is a lot of 'nice guys' getting s*****d! Besides, do you girls think that dating a 'jerk' gives you a better shot at finding 'Mr. Right' than dating a 'gentleman'?
I am a 'nice guy' and take pride in being one! I think it is an unbelievable joy that a woman would place herself on the arm of a man and be 'the ornament' on his 'tree'. A Christmas tree is a wonderfull and beautiful thing but takes on a 'specialness' when she 'adornes' him. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/10/2006 9:52:14 AM | Some people go for what they consider "wildness" and "freedom" in people; it attracts them and excites them. Maybe it's an adventure to feel as though they're "breaking the rules" with someone they know their family or friends wouldn't approve of? Many times, however, they learn later on that these folks really have no committment to anything, least of all another person. Often they are very self-serving, arrogant people out to get whatever they can for themselves. I am not saying all "wild and free" folks are like that! But I'd bet most of you know what I mean.
Nomad, the "ornament" and "adornment" statements strike me as selfish - perhaps you didn't mean it to be so, but sounds like you'd like the beautiful woman to make you look good, too? Not sure, just seems to me that's what an "ornament" is about!
Also, I believe that many people who are seeking and lonely tend to put others on a pedestal. They so want to have someone good, kind, caring, loving... etc... that they will highlight anything that seems to be revealed to them in these ways and overlook other characteristics that aren't so wholesome. I have been guilty of this as well. That's why something real and true should take time. You just can't know someone in a couple of weeks or months, or by chatting with them online even for a year! Gotta get to know the whole person. When they are happy, sad, angry, challenged, sick, healthy, silly, stupid, glamorous and just-out-of-bed. I hope to find someone great I can know all of those things with, who wants to know all of them with me!
Peace,
Kate | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/12/2006 5:56:22 AM | | Well I can only speak for myself...YES and YES!!! But I seem to be having a difficult finding one...the majority seem to feel like you do yuletide, maybe that is the problem. When one gets to certain age they should know who they are and what they want. I just want a partner that appreciates a great lady and can be themselves and not try so hard to figure out the past...enjoy each day as it might be the last. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/12/2006 7:33:50 AM | YES!! We women really wish for a nice guy. My encounters with "nice" guys was overwhelming. They want to "cling" to you...immediately make wedding/move-in plans. The moment you are on-line they are there...as if hoving over the PC 24/7 looking for you.
I could elaborate..but the bottom line is I like nice guys.. with a liitle adventure in them..let them take control once in a while..NOT needy...after all one must like a person before they love them...take time to know each other...This world is far too disposable. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/12/2006 10:07:46 AM | | I think most women are looking for a nice guy. Honesty and trust should be the most important thing. I was told once that you men only remember the bi---es and the women that treated them poorly, never the nice girls. | |
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speyes
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Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 269 | |
| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/12/2006 2:14:44 PM | I was told once that you men only remember the bi---es and the women that treated them poorly, never the nice girls.
That is sooooo true, its like nice girls are invisible to nice guys and instantly forgetable, where as the b**ches you never forget. then the rest of us pay the price for theie mis-deeds. think it goes for both sexes though. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/12/2006 6:20:07 PM | | unfortunately....no they dont. i have had many emails saying ncie guys are just too unattractive. As far as the ones who say they are afraid nice guys will turn out to be jerks? Well if that were really true...they wouldnt go for the ones who are obviously jerks. What are they really afraid of? nice guys might turn out to be like the guys they wanted in the first place? | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/17/2006 10:28:37 PM | I used to be confused by this, but I've developed a theory (it could be just horsesh*t, I admit) that part of the problem here is one of communication: Men and women have different ideas of what constitutes a "nice guy."
When women say they want a "nice guy," what they typically mean is that they want a rugged, traditionally "masculine" man who has a bit of a "softer" side. What they've got in mind is something along the lines of a cowboy who spends his days out on the range ropin' steers and doing Rugged Manly Things then comes home and writes romantic poetry in his spare time. (I'm exaggerating, but you get what I mean.)
Guys, however, obviously have a different understanding of other guys, because men behave differently in the company of other men than they do when they're around women. When women say they want a "nice" and "sensitive" guy, men think back about the guys they've known in their lives who were always "nice" and "sensitive." And the image that pops into their heads is (let's be brutally honest here) an image of a kind of wimpy guy who reads poetry and breaks out into a rash if you bring cowboy boots within fifty feet of him. (Though it's not a hard and fast rule, the guys that women are thinking of when they think of "nice" guys aren't always so nice when women aren't around.)
So guys who try to conform themselves to this ideal (or who already conform to it) are suddenly blindsided when they realize, "hey, chicks are always saying they dig dudes like me, but they're always going out with the guy who steals my underwear and stuffs my head in the toilet in gym class -- what gives?" Hence the confusion.
And the solution? Heck if I know. All I know is this: The realization that what *women* mean and what *I think* they mean are often two different things has made relationships much easier to deal with. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/18/2006 6:14:19 AM | I would have to agree with you. IMHO, it all comes down to self-confidence. I don't want someone who is so lacking that they have no opinions of their own.
My definition of a "nice guy" is one who is considerate, loving, generous with his time, and willing to take a stand. What he is not is a doormat.
You have to have confidence in yourself before you can attract someone else. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 11/18/2006 8:02:01 AM | let's get it straight guys
women watch too much Tyra and Oprah and there they learn that
1) all guys cheat
2) all guys are pigs
and
3) getting the cash and bailing out is just fine
Well --- we nice guys should send Oprah and Tyra thank you notes --- 4 times on here I have been told that "it is good that I have money because i am not attractive enough to get a date otherwise " --- twice i have been told that it is too bad that i am white ---- and once --seriously--- i got asked for BAIL money for this womans son !!!
women SAY that they want a nice guy --- this is BS at its best --- they SHOULD stop at the first 2 words ---"they want !!!!' they want, they want,
well if they do not give a **** about what I would maybe like -- then there is NO relationship possibility --- contrary to OPRAH -- I am a person --NOT A WALLET | |
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Please tell Rose that I'm extremely happy for her and her genuinely lovely dudefeller! 
