| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/24/2006 5:12:53 AM | Most women who have a man like you think that you will be understanding, in any case of the matter.... It's women who feel like you can't find a man like you anywhere! Just keep being your self and you will find what you are looking for....A nice guy in my book always comes in first =) | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/24/2006 5:32:47 AM | I like that statement you made. Well I am looking for a nice guy and I find it hard to find one. Most of the guys are on here for other things than getting to know you as a person and taking it from there. Yes some guys have everything, but its what that is inside of a person that counts. I have in the past dated good looking guys that could give you anything. They were usually the ones that were into themselves and didn't really care if you stayed or walked because they would just move on to the next one. Well I just one to find one and stay with him and enjoy being honest and upfront with each other. I think the situation goes both ways now days and it can get pretty depressing. Alot of guys aren't interested in me because of my age, there is always some reason. I think people are looking for barbie's or ken's that don't really exist. Its just finding that right person, it the hard task at hands.
I love to have a guy that can show emotion, then you know you got a good one, because if he can then he also has feelings, which alot of guys don't. He is then a keeper for sure!
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/24/2006 6:53:53 AM | My experience in online dating has shown they care about these things:
1. The thickness of their wallets
2. How much they will "spoil" them
3. "And by the way, could I borrow some money?"
The rest have unending "issues" which are understandable since, say by the age of 40 (I am 56), we have all had time to gather a lot of moss. I have learned it's better to stay single and not even date anyone but myself (LOL). I'd love to be proven wrong! I know that most men are trash as well. But women aren't so virginal, either. My patience has about run out. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/24/2006 6:57:14 AM | | You said above that u are looking for someone, yet in your profile you say you have found someone. Which is correct? Thanks! | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/24/2006 9:22:03 AM | OK, here we go again , lol 
You say that you want a nice woman, then you talk about the woman you have had a crush on since 2nd grade. Hun you don't want a nice woman you want that woman.......period. She can't see what is right in front of her face. True but in many cases these women sought after by so -called nice guys don't and never will. And in other cases when they finally do bore quickly. No this is not set in stone , but I have seen enough of these scenerios to understand what the score is. Therefore, it's not that you an't find a woman that wants or appreciates a nice guy. It's that you cannot get the one you want to understand that you are there and willing. You yourself said you let chance after chance slip by. My question is Why ?
It is obvious you have been infatuated with her for sometime. Do you believe she is too beautiful ? Are you afraid of being rejected ? Or are you afraid of hurting the friendship ? In any case you have to understand that unles you take a risk there is no chance for Glory. You either risk all those fears that are keeping you back or you will never know.
And as for the Gentleman who stated that most are only interested in the money..........It goes both ways sweety. And I am not now nor will I ever be anyones Sugarmama. Alot of Men do exactly the same thing. They scout out the women who have their own homes , have good jobs . Thinking they can wriggle their way in to living with them and eventually off of them. I have my kids I don't need any more dependents ....thank you very much !!!! So you see this is not strictly a male phenomena. Makes me wonder about your choices, though.
Sounds to me like alot of these so called nice guys are falling in with the insecure, co-dependent, "baby , I don't have a life without you";kinda woman. Why is that I wonder ? When there are quite a few secure, independent, "baby I need you to compliment me ...not complete me"; women around. I know this because I have seen some of them on this very forum. Soooooooooo, it seems to me that we all need to do a bit of soul searching and truly come to terms with what it is we are really looking for. I don't think the issue here is do women really want nice men? I think the issue is do men choose women who really want nice men? And vice versa.
lol, ok done for now | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/25/2006 4:47:04 PM | Absolutely! I know quite a few women that are attracted to men that treat them badly...Why? Because they think they can change them. But that also applies to men as well. We all know that we cannot change anyone but ourselves. It is my personal belief if you have not gotten over your negative past behaviors, or bad breakups, divorces, anything that negative that will prevent you from moving forward in a positive direction, then YOU WILL ONLY ATTRACT THE TYPES OF PEOPLE WHEREVER YOUR STATE OF MIND IS IN THE PRESENT.
I am looking to meet a nice guy myself; however, I will not settle for less than what I deserve. In the meantime, I enjoy my single life - who says you have to be in a relationship with someone to be happy....Happiness come from within ourselves.
Good luck to all! | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/25/2006 7:06:54 PM | | HEY WE LADIES/WOMEN HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING A GOOD MAN BECAUSE MOST WOMEN MESS IT UP FOR US GOOD ONES THEN WE DONT EVEN GET A CHANCE AND I KNOW TRUST IS AN ISSUE BUT THEY CANT JUDGE ALL WOMEN OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM THEY HAVE TO GIVE US A CHANCE WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK ? | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/25/2006 7:32:13 PM | | My experience is that most don't. It may be an attraction to power. Even in the 1980s-1990s some guys that had more varied or some gentler traits got sidelined. Some of this is cultural I suspect. At the same time that women might be attracted to men of power and 'bad' sexiness--why so much premature ejaculation, Viagra madness and performance anxiety over sex?. Men are stereotyped into some attraction to 'feminine' (mother) women are to 'masculine' (father). I'm no sociologist or PhD psychologist, but the culture TEACHES us some wacked-out rules about this. The myth involved is that a 'real' man will make a woman hot and surrender (the perfect power daddy). Men go for the soft 'kitten' with a devious streak that satisfies (perfect temptress mommy). In actual adult interaction--there may be a lot more gray area that works. Negotiation is one way to start. Men are put in a bind to 'thrill' a woman without good input. Women are under pressure to be 'sexy' and it's another trap. So people take the easy way out and look for a beacon to hurdle over the actual intimacy involved. Extremes 'solve' a complicated problem. Strip clubs ring a bell? Fantasy = escape. Fact is, everyone has to be doing their personal best to be THEMSELVES and fit, potent, sexy, etc. I know some women will like me and some never see me. It's not as black and white when you actually develop a relationship. I have known certain couples that were NOT attracted to each other in a friendly way -- even disliked each other until later when they romped in the sack. Many of those never got far beyond the adrenaline rush of the CONQUEST. I'm no knight in shining armor all the time, but don't underestimate me--or a lot of other men. Some of the bad boys are not allowed to date--they're behind bars for a reason. Others are pathological liar/players (easier to complain about a bad guy than work with another good one--too scary?) A guy can be polite and gentle to some and a serious warrior in another facet of his lmakeup--women need to look past the TV-show assessment of a man and realize this. You may not know what a beast he is (in a really good way) until you see him in full light. Then 'nice' feels pretty good. I know this won't make a dent in the culture or many women's attitudes but it's a view from within, here. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/26/2006 9:15:41 AM | | yuletide You are so right about that. But that how out culture became and it all about looks and image/ | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/26/2006 6:02:13 PM | | Im a nice guy and its true I always finish last to the ***holes that women love to date and run back to.... But its there loss and not mine so happy hunting!!!! | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/29/2006 7:45:44 AM | hi yuletide
and sorry as don't no what's been said already so forgive me,
but you are right i have realised that the good guy comes last,
i am too nice for my own good and i now realise i am not what woman want,
so i could say i am a loser, | |
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ulao
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Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 164 | |
| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 9/29/2006 9:01:13 AM | | Same here, every girl I have dated cheated on me. I would like to say I'm used to it but that is not true. When I ask why, it is always because I’m to nice.. I tried to be a bit more harsh the last girlfriend I had and two things improved. It lasted 4 years my record, and the sex was 100% better. I don’t get it? So I found a happy medium. I try to be my self when it comes to manners, honestly, truth respect, and that sort of thing, and A bit more harsh in other areas. It really sux because it’s not me. I urn to find a women that I can just be my self with. That hard part is If I’m my self I get cheated on, If I’m a modified version of my self I have a better relation ship but I’m not me? This is why I like online dating that way I can say Hey I’m nice, but the down fall is who in the heck is going to believe what I post online. AHH there is no win!! | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/1/2006 12:27:46 AM | | they want the "bad guy" traits. The****ness (not arrogance). The wit and personality.. If you can tap into all that without the abusive stuff, it should be a lot easier. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:10:47 AM | am sure if us nice guys were loaded( what little do they no) we would do ok,
but as they say treat them mean keep them keen | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/19/2006 10:54:34 AM | its not that nice guys finish last its that they don't enter the race!
I find it hard to trust men from past experience but mr nasty always gets to you. Do you know why? cause they persist you can reject them insult them it doesn't matter they keep coming back no matter what you throw at them till you eventually give in. nice guys you give up at the first hurdle or never even make a move in the first place! and it doesn't matter how many walls you put up mr nasty knows how to break them down becase he and those like him built them in the first place! plus he comes equiped with a handy bulldozer. xx | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/19/2006 1:22:05 PM | alright guys this thread has been done over and over and over and over again and again as a matter of fact the onyl thing that has lasted longer then this nice guy/bad boy discussion has been why the cival war was really fought guys i am here to tell you and encourage you to first be yourself and if that means being nice then by all means be nice which we all should be doing in the first place,yeah it sucks that a nice gal will be going out with a bad boy but if that is what she is atrracted to then so be but be happy for her because that is what being a true friend is all about,therer is an old saying that nice guys finish last and yeah we might finish last but we finish with the best and like everyone else i get frustrated as well but i refuse to let the frustration stop me from being who i am and i refuse to change who i really am nor am i going to change what i think and feel because i can garuntee you that there are alot of woman on here who do like nice guys,i dont think it is an issue of being a nice guy or nice woman anymore i think it is just an issue on being a nice person and if being a nice person is so wrong then i am going to my grave being exactly who i am,is it a sexual issue that we face because the bad boy is going out with the girl or the bad girl is going out with the guy,men and woman both face this issue and are core needs are to feel loved and touched and lets face facts that if we as a man or a woman are crawling inot bed on a firts or a second date then that should tell us something about ourselves and about the other person that we are going out with, i could be wrong but i think that woman do really want a nice man because a nice man does give of himself in every way shape and form and once you have found the right woman who apprecaittes this in you then your world will probably be rocked and heer toes will be curled and both of you can look back and say wow the wait was worth it, the waiting and the dating is not always easy but dont give up because i believe that there is someone in this world for all of us,be who you are and some lucky gal is going to find you but dont ever ever ever ever ever give up the hope and the search | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/21/2006 3:44:33 PM | | Nah, I don't really want a nice guy. Being that I'm a female, I obviously want someone who will abuse me. I understand that when a man hits me, it's my fault. Why, if you think about it, the harder he hits me, the more he cares for me. Not only does he care for me, but he also stimulates my brain. He keeps my mind sharp with the constant need to figure out new and improved ways to hide bruises and cuts. When he's with another woman, he's really being considerate because he knows that I'm simply not up to handling his passion at that time. When he yells at me, he does so with affection. I am often reminded of how fragile life truly is when he breaks my arm and/or my china. Yeah! I'd never give up my bad boy for a nice guy... | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/21/2006 4:38:22 PM | You know, that's the question that guys have been asking themselves for centuries now.
Its confusing as hell - you just have to get inside a woman's head to know what she wants. But, who know's what women want.
I consider myself a man of science - I have a graduate degree in Computer Information Systems - I work for NASA. But, to figure out how a woman thinks is beyond any means of science. It just can't be done.
-will | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/24/2006 7:27:51 AM | i guess that is true but then that is sometihng none of us will never do,
but then guess we will never no, if what they say they like or don't is true,
unless we went round comparing the stuff we here | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/24/2006 1:14:04 PM | You know, I recently started actively dating from this site and I have to say...I am flabbergasted at the stories of women who ask for money from men to pay bills, etc. WOW!
I am sure there are guys who do this too but I dont date the women...lol...
They have a name for this sort of thing...a couple of names...scam artist, maybe prostitution.
If a guy dated me and asked me to pay a bill or loan them money...I would run. Its very bad form to say "Oh, thanks for dinner and by the way, can you pay my mortgage payment? I'm about to go into forclosure and me and my three kids will have no place to go.
Ya right! 
VM | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/24/2006 1:28:47 PM | No. We don't want a nice guy. We want a bad boy that will spank us...we want you to pull our hair and call us MAMI...oh..maybe that's just me...lol | |
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