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ulao
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Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 201 | |
| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 10:25:50 AM | errrrrrrrrrnt. wrong...
Nice guy.. not to be confused with passive whims. Mug me and see what happens. Touch my girl watch what happens. I’m very outgoing, and strive far what I want. I'm nice to women, as I was raised that way. Lots of women make the same mistake and think it’s just my nature. You could be right, but not a rule of thumb. I know how to treat a lady and that makes my a nice guy. For some reason lots of women like mistreating, but I just don’t operate that way. I think nice guys have the best to offer, but yes some needs to grow bigger balls. After a girl cheats on me, she says "it's because you’re just too nice", the guy involved, well lets just say the only affection he will get if from the nurse. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 10:26:39 AM | Well, Yuletide, this woman really wants a nice guy who has a streak of 'bad' guy hidden. :) But I am beginning to think there are no good guys out there especially not in my area!!! If there are -- then show your self to me, man!!!!
Don't give up, Yuletide' there are lots of women wanting good guys -- it just seems that the other guys have the guts to make a move and actually ask the woman out!
Take that advice and take a chance -- you never know!
Darlene :) | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 10:35:37 AM | | do men really want a nice girl either? my ex cheated on me wth a girl he hated as he said he could feel superior to her and it boosted his ego. where as nice girl me was just too nice for him.....ass. works both ways as far as i see it. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 10:45:06 AM | Well, put! I myself know exactly what I want and don't like to waste time by being coy and so on. I am strong, independent, intelligent woman and I don't beat around the busy with telling a man what I want and what I like. Some men are very threatened by this knowledge, they prefer women who are clingy and undecisive. What a waste of time!
However, I have no problem with being a woman with needs to the right man but he has to be willing to accomodate and be respectful as I will respect him. I have had men who play a game of leading you to think you might get to meet. Life is way too short to play -- take advantage of opportunities that are presented to you. You never know what could happen!
Women like nice guys -- the kind who are respectful and know exactly what they want. A relationship is not about competition it is about teamwork -- working together to enjoy the life that is shared and each other as you go!  | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:02:34 AM | it really has not changed that much from the old days these guys that try and act all like they care are total mummies boys guys are physical and women are well emotional train wrecks its obviousl when a guy meets a women she moves in and gays up his place with all that feminine garb in the bedroom and throws out his crap or moves it into his mommies garage so he will still have it when she cheats on him and steals his house and throws him out on his spineless butt
nice guys are always getting crapped on because woman want a bad boy it is in their mental state it is the way it is they do not want a **** who calls his mommie asking how to please a broad as soon as men get it through their thick skull that they will never understand woman then they will get along better
woman do not want a man to undertsand that whole feminine deal leave that to an ob/gyn that is the only place where a man should understand a woman ...and these guys are either real pervs or gay .....a man should not want to make a living prodding a womans privates all day.unless he is a friicking creep ..or a gay .......we like to chase woman.
men are simple woman are complex thats just the way it is
we like to know what we cannot have it is always the tabbo that we seek .
woman seek out a metrosexual guy as they so call it .........here is the deal a metrosexual male is a straight guy that is borderline gay and wanting to be gay but is still craving female genitals ....thats just the way it is ...........
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:13:42 PM | | well i must say woman just what a real man who knows who he is and treats them like a woman should be treated respect and to be pashionet and doesnt play games but on the other hand some woman like the bad boy image i find most woman whant respect and a good listner and to be humble carring doesnt care just for ones self | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:52:06 PM | glasgow...is this how it is in Scotland? because frankly I don't know what women you are talking about...
just because a woman wants a man who takes care of his appearance, and his surroundings, and whom has some type of brain and can carry on a conversation...does not mean we want a gay man...and since when did gay men want to prod women's private parts all day?
you sound very bitter toward women...perhaps you have been dating the ''bad'' girls...seems like that's what a lot of men go for...I think i dated bad boys back in middle school maybe, but all the guys i've been involved with in adult hood were not a stereotypical bad guy ...not by a long shot...
i'm looking for an ''honest'' man who i'm attracted to both mentally and phsycially, whom i feel a connection with...all that arrogance and confidence bad boys tend to possess chases me away as i'm very shy and not into all of that... | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 3:19:07 PM | I don't even know where to go on this whole subject. I try and be as charming as I can stand to, and have tried to make all the girls that I've dated feel like the genuine gems that they are.. And yet I don't get back nothing, but rather get back strife. I bring them roses and they tell me that I'm different in a bad way like how I am too laid back or that I can sometimes get easily frustrated just like most other guys..
I don't know if that means I'm the wrong one for trying to be a nice guy and not treating the girls like crap, or if I'm just dating the wrong people that are in actuality either downright.. well you know.. or just plain out isn't my type.
What's really bothersome is that, the ugly doesn't show until like, sometimes a month into it, sometimes a week into the relationship. it's frustrating the games girls play | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:11:51 PM | Uh oh, maybe you get a little too strong -- I had a man do that to me without finding out exactly what it is that I like. I personally do not like cut flowers -- I prefer the kind that I can plant in my yard -- if it is roses then a couple of bushes so I can make me a rose garden. I have always wanted one of those! It is best to get ot know the woman and then give her something special. Respect is still the key no matter what
;) Don't give up! | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:11:55 PM | | Yes, women do want a nice guy.... its just that we have to deal with a lot of not so nice once in the process. Material things are just that. Life is not about what you have, its about who you are. Those are my personal opinions, and probably dont mean anything but thats how I feel. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:19:26 PM | well you are young and young girsl are into having a lot of drama in their lives
it gets better...you are an attractive guy and seem like a romantic at heart....
i happen to love flowers by the way...maybe why i never get them...seems like the girls who don't want them get all the nice, sweet gifts | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:37:30 PM |
well you are young and young girsl are into having a lot of drama in their lives
I'm relatively young and I greatly dislike drama. I honestly haven't the energy or the inclination to deal with life, as well being slapped around or cheating on someone or any other brand of drama of your choice. Be that as it may, I'll agree that some young ladies do enjoy drama and cannot seem to function without its presence. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:47:42 PM | | kloey do you find men your age flocking to the drama queens? it seems like they enjoy the ''bad'' girls as much as they claim that we like ''bad'' boys | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:56:48 PM | I find men flocking to a great many different types of ladies, but yes, some men do tend to enjoy the "bad" girls as much as some ladies enjoy the "bad" boys...lol. I cannot tell you how often I've come across this particular bit of fluff, but if you have some time, here's a link to a thread that I participated in way back when. Molonel and a few others made some valid points that are quite interesting and would definitely apply in this thread. You'll need a spot of time on your hands, but I think that everyone who has a question or a thought concerning nice guys/girls and/or bad guys/girls should read it.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/2564222datingPostpage1.aspx
Disclaimer: Obviously, there's a bit of dribble, but you can skim over that to get to the heart of the matter...lol. | |
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cat219
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Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 215 | |
| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:58:00 PM | I want a nice guy with bad boy traits behind closed doors lol. Just got to love those scoundrals types | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:24:10 PM | | It is my experience that women are more shallow then most men. I'm to the point I do not tell anyone even what field of work I do so they can't judge me based on my job/income. I want them to like me for who I am, not how much money I make. Because if your poor they won't like you, and if your rich or have a good job, they only want you for your money. I've had some get kinda upset and stop talking to me because I won't tell them what I do, but that just proves to me they are all about the money and could care less about who I am. Better to weed them out now then later. | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/26/2006 8:08:48 PM | /\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Not necessarily true, some women are more shallow that way but please don't paint us all with the same brush. Often wanting to know what a person does to make a living is a way of finding out more about them as a person. However if they ask how much you make a year, week, hour.... its definately about the money. Someone I had been in a relationship with was out of work when we first met, I personally didn't have an issue with it. We hit it off instantly, due to personality, not his or my income. While it lasted it was a wonderful relationship.. eventually due to us living in different cities..it ended.
I think most women do want a genuine man... which to me means nice, but not a wuss!! I want the same thing I am willing to give, respect and consideration.
Sazy | |
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| My New Standard Response to Nice Guy/Girl Threads.
Posted: 10/26/2006 10:27:53 PM | Okay. I really was going to refrain from doing something of this nature, but I'm afraid I have no desire to refrain at this time. I'm pulling out some posts from [u]The Ultimate Nice Guy Thread[/u] (It's my personal favorite!) Here's the link: http://forums.plentyoffish.com/2564222datingPostpage1.aspx
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Hmmm...to answer the question posed in the subject, no.
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Nope, they won't. Move on.
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I'm still going with no. Will women ever stop asking why all the good ones are taken? Didn't think so.
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I'm fairly certain that I shall soon go into a coma.
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Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Pretty redundant, huh? Sort of like this thread.
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Still, don't you wonder what will be discussed as soon as the nice guys start accepting the girls with great personalities? I do.
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Okay, Bert. This has become stupid. I think my left eyeball is twitching. Yeah, I can feel it twitching.
Not every female is a shallow, self-serving wench who wants a man who slaps her around and requires 'changing'. Not every man is a jerk who cannot treat a woman decently. I truly begin to tire of this stupidity. I mean, think about how often you guys spout this same idiocy.
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As I've said before, some women will date jerks. Some men date crazy females. Nobody denies that fact. The crux of the matter is that it has spread like fire during a drought. It has become an excuse for nice guys just as women justify their junk about guys wanting one thing only. Check the forums. This topic has been beat to death time and time again. Repeatedly, you find guys whining that they can't get a girl because they're nice. On the flip side, you find threads about how women can't get a guy because she doesn't look like a model.
I just think that folks need to realize that they are responsible for playing the hand dealt.
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Look, I tire of this thread, but it's the principle of the thing. There is no conspiracy against nice guys. There is no conspiracy against good/average girls. You can keep on making your excuses if it helps you sleep at night, but just remember, you're the only one who's going to be able to change things. Until you decide to change things, stop complaining. I'm going to leave you with a one of my favorite quotes.
To get to where you're going, you have to leave where you are.
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I beg to differ with you about a few things. We do have to meet not only your standards but also the standards that society sets for us to be attractive. Have you ever had your eyebrows waxed. Do you have to watch everthing you put in your mouth so you dont gain 10 pounds and worry your bf will leave you. As for some women being psycho ****es. Its men that make us that way. All the sh*t you put us through drives us to the brink of insanity. Also, for the record some of us do want nice guys there just are not any left that are not married, gay, fat, ugly or have no teeth.
Learn to set your own standards. You wax your eyebrows to appease your own sense of vanity and style. If gaining ten pounds is enough to kill your relationship, it's not really a relationship. If you choose to be psychotic, that's your business, but don't blame it on someone else. You choose how to react to situations, so kindly take responsibility. In regard to your last sentence, I am amazed by your ignorance.
psychosis-
A severe mental disorder, with or without organic damage, characterized by derangement of personality and loss of contact with reality and causing deterioration of normal social functioning.
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Robert, Robert, Robert... You and I have had this discussion before. When are you going to realize that YOU are responsible for YOUR life? Romance is included in this bit. Women should put forth an effort. Men should put forth an effort. It simply isn't enough to say that you're a nice guy/girl. Your actions, your demeanor, your being will reflect who you are. If you're nice, it'll show. You won't have to go around saying that you're a nice guy/girl.
It eats at me when I hear some guy say that they can't find a decent woman because he's just too nice. That's a load of stuff; an excuse, actually. Here's a simple plan. Approach a woman. If she responds positively, great. If she responds negatively, move on. Approach a new woman. For every woman that says no, that takes you one step closer to the woman who will say yes. For you females in the crowd, just replace guy with girl and woman with man.
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***MAN,
Don't paint yourself as ignorant. The INDIVIDUAL women that turn you down do so because they don't like YOU. It isn't because you're too nice. It isn't because they want to be treated like crap by some jerk. It's because you didn't strike their fancy. Move on. Approach another woman. Eventually, you'll strike someone's fancy. There's something I learned as a little girl that I wish to share with you. If something isn't working, take a look at it and fix it. If you cannot manage to arrest a woman's attention, do something about. If that means you need to read a book, do so. If you need to cut your hair, do so. If you need to gain confidence, do so. Until you put forth an effort to change things, stop complaining and blaming others.
**ade,
Being beautiful doesn't make one nasty and/or mean. I am a woman. I don't lump men into a single category. I don't consider guys as being pigs or dogs. I consider each man respectively.
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Note: The first part of this post was a bit of joking between myself and another poster. It was not meant in the literal sense; simply consider it as sarcasm.
Man******,
It is unfortunate, but you're just too nice. That's why the women don't want you. Soon, your wife will leave you for some jerk because, secretly, she wants to be treated like crap. Just ask Tarheelman. He'll tell you. You can take his word for it, too, because he has a clue about his life. True story. Auntie Kloey's office is open and in it, there is the most charming, perfect sofa which is conducive to a deep, cognitive session.
Tar****man,
You cannot control the actions of another, but you can control how you react to each situation presented. Society doesn't tell you that it's your fault. In fact, society will empathize with your plight, telling you that you aren't to blame. You're the victim.
Okay, Bert. Step into my office. It IS your fault. You are responsible for your life. Until you're ready to do something about it, you shouldn't complain. Yes, I know you're going to tell me that I don't have a clue about your life. I know you're going to tell me that you're going by your experience. I know you're going to tell me to mind my own life. That's fine. I'll accept that I don't have a clue about your life, but in turn, neither do you. You refuse to take accountability. Yeah, you're fairly clueless. Your reactions indicate that you are quite bitter. Your bitterness has eclipsed reason and logic.
I seriously wish to understand your position. Honestly, I do. I don't want to hear about how I don't have a clue. I want you to tell me exactly how you aren't to blame for your life and your reactions to life. I am fully aware that life is chock full of extenuating circumstances, but even so, you choose how to react to those circumstances. So, please, clue me in.
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In today's society, everyone is a victim.
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Wow. I think you missed something in your post. Nice guys finish last. At least they finish and when they do, victory is sweet. Dating is trial and error. You date until you find the one that truly strikes your fancy and compliments your life.
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I've also stated that the generalizations need to stop. It is wholly unfair for you or me to paint an entire gender the same shade of red just because of one or two experiences. Basically, what you and many others are doing is asking all future applicants to pay the price for the mistakes of the one before.
You have three choices:
1)Change your approach.
2)Stop complaining about being treated in the same fashion by shallow females.
3)Pull up your huggies and move on.
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Myst*****netrix,
I think perhaps you've misunderstood my shock, but that's neither here nor there. If you choose to ignore my posts, that's fine. It is, after all, your perogative.
Throughout my entire affiliation with this thread, I have made comments regarding men and women. This issue doesn't exist within one gender. It is the result of the actions of both.
I have not attempted to discredit your opinion. This thread is rampant with generalizations. Women are generalizing the men while men are generalizing the women. I don't see it as being unfair to state that the generalizations need to stop. Such a course of action seems rather prudent in my eyes.
I have merely stated my opinion. It is my opinion that nice guys act just as the females under discussion. These females whine about poor treatment by the jerks. The nice guys whine about the poor treatment by said females.
I have asked, without malice or sarcasm, for the nice guy's position to be further explained. Rather than answering with honesty or sincerity, I receive something about crap. It just further reinforces my position that this is a topic to appease such delicate sensibilities.
Think what you will about me, but I maintain that each person is responsible for their business. Females cannot be treated poorly unless they allow it to happen. Nice guys cannot be treated poorly unless they allow it to happen.
Molonel, you're great! (Yes, this is part of my standard response to Nice Guy/Girl threads.)
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P***gie,
Let's say that you're in a room which is full women. You are merely an observer at this point. You haven't spoken to any of the ladies present nor can you hear their conversations. You have nothing to go on, other than what you can see and smell. You know nothing of their respective personalities. This is purely hypothetical and quite extreme, but bear with me.
The women are dressed in unrelieved tones of dull greys or drab browns. Their hair is lank and a bit oily. You notice that their nails are broken and dirty. Not only are their clothes of such a dreary color, but stains are plentiful. The air is filled with body odor. You look for a smiling face, but you search in vain.
Milling throughout these women, you see a splash of color. Your eyes are drawn to that splash of color and your interest is piqued. She is dressed in a modest, yet alluring gown of pink chiffon. Her hair, a shade of deep auburn, is shiny with curls cascading down her back. You can smell her delicate, subtle perfume floating in the air and you are reminded of the luscious floral scent of gardenias. Upon closer inspection, you notice that her nails are well shaped and clean. Her skin is glowing with health and vitality and her face is lit with a smile.
She is as vivid as the other women are plain. Keep in mind that you have nothing to go on other than what you can see and smell. Which woman, out of the entire group of ladies, are you most likely to approach?
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P***gie,
The point was to illustrate confidence, without conceit or flashiness. The lady in pink was vivaciously attractive without dancing like a monkey for the crowd's entertainment. I never stated that she was gorgeous. I didn't state that she was flamboyant. I painted this woman as being well-groomed, smiling and vitally full of confidence. | |
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| My New Standard Response to Nice Guy/Girl Threads.
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:19:27 PM | so here's the situation, there are 2 guys i work with, who i happen to know like me.
1 mr nice guy, sweet caring funny, excellent!
2 mr nasty total player, had more women than hot dinners, uses women then dicards them, yeugh!
mr nice guy looks away when i look at him, goes red if i speak to him and i think i'll be ready to retire by the time he gets up the balls to ask me out. what do i corner him and not let him go till he asks?????
mr nasty constantly asks me out won't take no for an answer and i have spent months fending him off, but apparently he will break me!! hmmm what do i do lock him up and throw away the key????? be nice but they won't let me.
and the lesson is..........
good things come to those who wait.............but sh*t shows up right away!!!!!!!
all you nice guys out there, take a lesson from mr nasty and put yourselves out there! you are wanted!!!! | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/27/2006 3:47:48 AM | | I have to agree here with you. This women would like to find a nice guy but I have found that if the woman comes across as being to good she usually ends up being walked on. I would chose a nice guy, who knows how to treat me and knows what a relationship means, then a bad boy, who tells you he wants a relationship but to him it means, he wants his relationship with you on a Saturday night and another one with someone else on a Sunday night. | |
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| You'll Love my Sofa!
Posted: 10/27/2006 10:13:08 AM | Rosedolphin, my dear, step into my office. If you like Mr. Nice Guy, approach him. Though this is most likely an alien concept, ask him out. Yes, it's sweet to have a guy ask you out, but sometimes, you have to put forth an effort, as well. Even if you don't ask him out, you can still approach him and tell him in no uncertain terms that you're interested.
Not speaking poorly of you, Rose, but I simply don't understand the mindset that men are required to do all the "work". I hail from the South, mind you, in which it is more than customary for a dudefeller to ask a lady out, but even down here, ladies have started to realize that with the dawning of "equality" the weight of responsibility is now shared between both genders. You simply cannot live in a man's world without having a man's responsibility.
Regarding your Mr. Nasty Total Player, he can't break you unless you allow him to do so. If you truly find his attention distasteful, try a dose of tactful honesty. Whatever you do, don't beat around the bush about it. If that doesn't work, lodge a complaint with your company's human resources department. | |
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| You'll Love my Sofa!
Posted: 10/28/2006 5:50:38 AM | thanx for the advice cloey. i have no issue generally doing the work or asking a guy out, just honestly think he'd have a coronary. plus though i'm usually not the shy type he is sooooo shy i get that way myself because i'm trying so hard to get him to relax around me.
as for mr nasty i've made it brutally honest never mind tactfully and he just don't get it. he so gorgeous afterall how could anyone resist. in his mind anyway. wish i had his mirror. as for complaining to HR they'd laugh me out of the office. that sort of behaviour is the norm where i work at the mo but all is not lost. I handed in my notice today!! yippee!
don't know if its the same everywhere but all the mr nasties around here seem to have more than there fair dues of confidence and the nice guys hide away in their corners wondering why they finish last. like i've said before if you want to come first then enter the race! | |
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| You'll Love my Sofa!
Posted: 10/28/2006 7:02:08 AM | Rose, if this nice guy is worth it, send him a card or an e-mail asking him to go out for coffee. You could even saunter over with your cute self and ask him to eat lunch with you . No pressure!
Don't ever let your HR department treat you or your concerns as nothing. If your complaint is legitimate, which it is, regardless of how amusing it is, their department should give it all due consideration. At that point, appropriate action should be taken. After all, that's why they're on the payroll.
I worked at a place in which customers thought it was just fine to reach out and grab my bottom. I don't take kindly to that and sometimes, the grabber found himself on the receiving end of a blow. When the customer lodged a complaint, my manager attempted to write me up, but being the cheeky bit of baggage that I am, I told her that if she did so, she was not going to be satisfied with the results, considering the fact that I'd brought this to her attention previously. I strongly believe that if I've approached my employer about something and action is not taken by the management, I am then fully within my right to remedy the situation as I see fit (within reason, of course).
On a final note, since you've put in your notice, you could always do a surprise lunch hour visit to your nice dudefeller... | |
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| Do women really want a nice guy?
Posted: 10/30/2006 11:37:18 AM | Come on Dovestreasure, I don't totally agree with that.
Remember the old saying "Nice guys always finish last". I have come to believe that. I am and was all that you want in a man. I stayed the course and all I got was the 9 iron up the kazoo. I was took for a fool and everything I had.
I gave until there was nothing left, and my nice guy personality went with it. It still seems like nice guys get taken full advantage of. Sorry, but I disagree with you. but hope your happy. | |
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| My New Standard Response to Nice Guy/Girl Threads.
Posted: 10/30/2006 11:50:42 AM | Rosedolphin,
You must be a great looking girl. I know this type of man. Very shy. I was him at one time. If you really want to date this guy, send him a little encouragement, this will be all he needs. Leave him a note on his computer, send him a text message, just something. Believe me, he has the will and will maybe have some bad boy in him also. It just sometimes takes the push to get these guys over the hill, then it will be smooth sailing from then on. | |
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