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| God, I miss the hugging, kissing, snuggling.....Why do women seem uptight lately???
Posted: 12/2/2006 9:33:43 AM | nothing better than hugging kissing and snuggling.. with the right guy..
love it !!!
I am an extremely affectionate person.. but... some women just aren't. Some are when they have deep feelings for someone only.
I am affectionate with my friends, family, loved ones. It's the way i was raised.
As far as dating goes.. talk to the girls you are going out with, and tell them you are an affectionate person.. This cold weather is perfect snuggle weather  | |
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| God, I miss the hugging, kissing, snuggling.....Why do women seem uptight lately???
Posted: 12/2/2006 9:09:38 PM | Some women might have had a man in the past ONLY get affectionate with her when he wanted to 'get some', and never any other time.....trust me...there are quite a few men like this.
I can so relate with you Scorp - my marriage turned that way (but until about 17 yrs) but my last LTR was like that as well, and I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I'd only read that sign  Any hug HE initiated meant "LET'S HAVE SEX - NOW!!"
Guys, women like nice affectionate hugs, but don't want to be squeezed so tight against you just so you can show her the "effect" she has on you by rubbing your trouser-clad d*ck against her. So you got a hard on - big deal (then again, maybe not). Haven't you all heard the instructions at ANY amusement park? Keep your arms and legs safely inside the car at all times. This means NO groping, low-sliding hands, quick butt- or boob squeezes, and leave the dry-humping to the yappy little dog barking at her door.
There is nothing more pleasant and satisfying to me, then my guy coming up behind me and just putting his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my head, and just holding me - because he enjoys the feel of me in his arms, not because it's the fast-track to the bedroom. | |
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| God, I miss the hugging, kissing, snuggling.....Why do women seem uptight lately???
Posted: 12/6/2006 12:26:46 PM | hi daniel.
yes, the timing can be confusing for women and men both.
and you are right -- i have been meeting guys this way for, i dunno, 10 months i think. and, overwhelmingly, i have found most guys to be looking for one thing, or at least pushing too hard for sex too soon (ahem, like on the first date, in the first hour -- i am not kidding). this is an outrageous turn off. i just can't take a guy seriously who is doing that kind of thing.
then, there have been a number of guys who, YES -- on the first date!, told me they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with me. this has happened to me three or four times. i am not kidding, and neither am i trying to boost myself up or something. (i think it has far less to do with my appeal than it does with their desperation and loneliness, which makes me sad but also concerns me in the sense that it makes me think that they are dysfunctional or otherwise unhappy people and i want someone who is happy and functional.) this is also a real problem for me because i feel that knowing such a thing takes time, a good deal of it, that you cannot know instantly that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. i am less suspicious about that kind of thing than i am concerned about the emotional stability and maturity of the guy. once again -- a huge turn off.
anyhow, you are right -- these various experiences have left me a bit sheepish and perhaps even a wee bit jaded about online dating -- and i am, generally, one of those obnoxious "glass is half full" types. so...
ciao all! :-) | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 32 | |
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| God, I miss the hugging, kissing, snuggling.....Why do women seem uptight lately???
Posted: 5/8/2007 4:55:20 PM | You don’t even know. Short answer, KISS: Suggestion, if you think she wants a hug and you think that she is giving you signals that she wants affection, then keep it simple, give her a good firm hug (don't squeeze the c**p out of her), just a hug and then gently, a feather-like soft kiss her on her neck just below her ear.
Then pull back, all the way back and continue the conversation.
Note: end of short post…Warning: There is a longer answer, don’t blame me if you read it all. Notice: the rest of this answer is much too long, consider yourself warned! If you don’t like long posts then consider yourself warned and don’t read further. Of course if you are a glutton for punishment and like long posts, then by all means read away, enjoy, Green light, proceed, get along little doggies…lol. But any complaints will summarily be ignored, for you failed to heed the ‘end of short post Warning’ above and proceeded along anyway. < - How is that for a disclaimer!
Some women and many men don't seem to know when the right time is, and since its different for everyone, based on what is going on in their life, no surprise that some guess wrong. Yep its confusing, get over it and start learning.
You just have to 'feel' it, hard to explain, you just sort of know. The more attempts at learning the better you will get. So what are you waiting for…get on with it, but be patient! And when you hug, kiss, snuggle, etc... (etc....does not mean intercourse, jeez, I should not have to say that...but probably do.)
I love a good hugger and a good kisser! Doesn't everyone! You know the ones; the ones that make you want to melt into them and them into you! Yummm! The kiss, the hug, when it feels that good, you just don't want to let go. Especially great on those rainy Sat and Sun afternoons when you don't want to wake up anyway. (P.S. that’s a good time for cuddling in addition to after sex!) (But you normally don't get there on the first date, lol, so be patient and enjoy the process.) For some it will be faster, for some it will be slower...but if you are doing it right, you will know because she will 'want' to initiate intimate activity with you. Yes Grasshopper when you can gently hug, gently peck and see the sparkle / gleam in her eye, the smile on her face, the quickening of the breath then you will have learned!
Suggestion, if you think she wants a hug and you think that she is giving you signals that she wants affection, then keep it simple, give her a good firm hug (don't squeeze the c**p out of her), just a hug and then gently, a feather-like soft kiss her on her neck just below her ear. (Note: if you leave slobber on her neck you better hope she really likes Dogs...I don't recommend that you expect she will like Dogs, so don't be one!)
Then pull back, all the way back and continue the conversation. If you got it wrong, hopefully you will not have weirded her out too much and by pulling all the way back you hopefully will reassure her that you are not going to go 'crazy - stupid' and jump her bones...jeez, should not have to say that either...) And if she really DID want you to do that you will see it in the sparkle of her eyes as you pull away. But keep the conversation going. That way if you invaded her personal space before she was ready, but pulling back you give her space back and show that you respect her. (Of course I was slapped after my first kiss in kindergarten so maybe I don’t really know, you know! I am sure that kissing her in front of the entire car pool did not hurt me either – Yea right! But seriously I have learned one or two things since there, so I just started younger then you, its okay you can make up for lost time. And trust me its worth the effort! LOL)
If she asks you what that was for, tell her the truth, whatever that is to you. "I just felt like giving you a hug", is pretty simple and probably truthful. Better yet if she really warmed your heart with a topic that you are both sharing, then tell her so - and reference the topic being discussed! Be honest! Honesty is always the best policy. Younger women might not be able to see through it, but older women, the ones worth pursuing a meaningful relationship with, they will know. They will see through it, so don’t waste your time lying. So be sincere, honest and keep it simple stupid (you know KISS).
Then you wait for her to give you more. If she does not, then let it go the ball is in her court and its up to her. (I have gone the entire rest of a date without any indications, but still gave her a peck on the cheek at the end of the date after initially attempting a hug and/or a kiss. She did not slap me after the kiss good night and we went on to more dates after that and yes later as we cuddled after many dates, after sex, she told me that she was testing me on that first date after my initial hug and kiss, to see what I would do…guess I passed) Remember it will not hurt you to wait for her to initiate. If she doesn't, then so be it, doesn't mean she is not interested, though it might mean that, just means she isn't right now. Besides if she wants to see you again, you will know it. If she does, keep it simple, keep it light, keep it fun and by all means do not, do not, do not, grab, grope and/or stick your tongue down her throat.... jeez, wake up and smell the coffee. (Unless of course she puts your hands there, then of course this conversation is pointless, isn't it!)
By giving her a simple hug (not a grope) and a small kiss on the neck, you have simply shown her that you are interested in her simple as that. (Your out with her, so you probably are interested, right, Right!) If you do nothing else overtly sexual and she labels you ''clingy" then perhaps its her problem and not you. Okay you have still learned something, so let it go and simply move on, as they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so you should not expect the next one you meet to be 'the one', to complete your family so to speak and if they are...lucky you!
If you are both older, have been married, have had kids, obviously been there, done that, whatever your imagination, imagines - don't ask me to fill in the details, no sir, no way, no mam, lol. Then it is up to you how long you wait, but another Hint: Don't wait so long that she associates you as being a friend and not a potential lover...another common mistake. If an older woman (relative term - older - I know) wants to go back to her High School days and have you wait 'what you believe is too long', then either she is not interested or not for you or waiting like you are. Regardless you are better off moving along little doggie, maybe, but if you have decided that and there have been multiple dates, no affection, no obvious hints, then by all means confront her (IN A NICE WAY, no one's right, no ones wrong, if its not about ‘blaming’ its about learning from your mistakes – if you even made one – and not making the same one again if it can be avoided with the next potential partner, eventually you will get right, what works for you. So you might as well gain a friend out of the time you two have spent) ask her. Try, "um you don't really seem interested in me, am I right or am I wrong?" (Then listen to what she says...really listen) or "It seems like you only see me as a friend and not as a potential boyfriend?" (Then listen to what she says...really listen)
Trust me if you are wrong, she will let you know. Perhaps you are both slow boilers and she is actually still waiting on you to make the first move...weirder things have happened.
Again no need for this conversation. | |
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| God, I miss the hugging, kissing, snuggling.....Why do women seem uptight lately???
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:09:25 PM | I had a date one time where we went to an art gallery, and we were walking thru the exhibit, and every now and then he'd put his hand on my lower back, or my hip, stand close to me and tell me about the pieces, hold my hand... he'd come in close then walk away. Drove me crazy!!!
Actually this would be acceptable to me. It would drive me CRAZY too!! I think it shows he is interested and caring. Not all over me, just a little affectionate. If I respond to the touch, thats a good sign, if I DONT.... Thats when he should GET THE MESSAGE SWEETHEART!
I think sometimes men are BAD at reading BODY LANGUAGE.
A small hug doesnt mean I want to rip his clothes off. I am a bit hesitant, even though I am a touchy feely type of person, because I dont want him to think I'm too forward, or only out for an intimate encounter. | |
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| God, I miss the hugging, kissing, snuggling.....Why do women seem uptight lately???
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:59:22 PM | | I think it's because the man is sending the wrong vibes....for the longest time I thought my bf didn't want to cuddle and kiss and found out I was wrong....he was just waiting for me to cuddle with him....but I always got the impression he would rather not.....when we finally talked about it, he said that he loves to cuddle and didn't think I did! lol so I guess we both gave off the same vibes to each other, now we cuddle all the time when we're home together. | |
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| God, I miss the hugging, kissing, snuggling.....Why do women seem uptight lately???
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:51:42 AM | Maybe you are trying to hug ladies that don't really like you.
Find someone who likes you, then you should be ok.
(Telling all other men in the world what to "back off" in order to try and improve your chances is probably not a good strategy--you can't call "dibbs" on ever single woman out there until you get yours) | |
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| God, I miss the hugging, kissing, snuggling.....Why do women seem uptight lately???
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:24:53 AM | sounds like your meeting the wrong woman cause they either aren't into you or there not the type to cuddle and be affectionate ....
i'm not very affectionate and would get really weirded out if i was on a date and he wanted to hold hands, cuddle, kiss....f*ck no...i don't even do that much with my man i have now...personally i never go near the guy again if he wanted to do that during the getting to know each other phase | |
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Yup what brokensmile said....