| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 11:07:44 AM | | Umm just had to throw my two/bits in here.Have met a couple of woman here-met one at a club close to her place.Her profile was long term take it slow,right on Q with myway of thinking.Now because we {I} had 3 drinks I was looking for some thing to eat,she decided to make some thing which she did{Good cook}.I fell asleep on her couch,to wake up to her tring to have her way?????Slow Umm not my take on it----Good bye that easy for me how many others. Another Ummm female to be nice didn't even make it to the dance before she was wanting to find out what---Our connection would be like---Slow???? Am Checking my dictionary as I type..... Takes all kinds | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 11:15:02 AM | and one thing I have learned over the years is never to talk in "absolutes".
Everyone can be smug when they have been lucky enough not to encounter a master game player. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 1:25:43 PM | | Very, very true.... these 'masters of the game' have spent much time perfecting their 'skills'. They have learned very well how to cover all their bases. Be careful about how secure you feel in a relationship. Pay attention to things that don't make sense and if you think you have a satisfactory answer, check it again. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 1:27:21 PM | ^^^^ Hmm . . . you don't get it. I don't care enough about being with a man so I can't be played. I remember guys that I'm buds with telling me to be less picky and me telling them if I had to be alone for the rest of my life that was ok, but I was going to get what I wanted.
A player going after me would be akin to a master jewel thief casing the ghetto for jewelry.
There's nothing there he would want.
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 1:54:20 PM |
Is there a book out there that I don't know of .........."Mastering Online Dating......great answers to hook em"...............?
Yes but I was very dissapointed with it and keep finding myself at Square One. Too vague for my taste "keep e-mails short in the begginning, three sentances maximum, convey social value (why I have pictures with my friends, don't worry ladies I've known them my whole life :), confidence, coolness, and if your going to keep a**** and funny pretext you got to keep it up until the end, and never answer a womens questions directly and dont jump through her hoops) and only gives one example in the chapter: (What do you do for work? Guy: "Why? Are you looking for a man to support you?)
and even say's to "fake it till you make it" the fact that I omit BIG parts of myself such as watch Tim Burton movies :D wear black and silver allmost everyday, and read the Gothic Grimoire and Noctournal witchcraft, do night time ritual and carry with me obsidian as, quite simply, people very often misunderstand the ether of the night, associating it with "evil", how the hell am I supposed to "be myself" when someone mistakes me for a devil worshiper or someone evil or what-not.
Online dating myths:
Women want a "nice guy"
you should seem like you only have nice thoughts and desires, hope that helped! Theres another online dating book comming out but for obvious reasons am not giving out the title of the book, though Gothic Grimoire (Konstantinos) does have rituals to improve your inner-game, even if you don't believe in magick it will still condition your mind to be a more confident person, if your not attuned with the dark (I stress again, NOT evil) current, however, a lighter witch craft book will be better suited for you.
And no I'm NOT one of those vampire wanna-be's who feigns depression just to create a "vibe". | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:34:29 PM |
I don't care enough about being with a man so I can't be played. I remember guys that I'm buds with telling me to be less picky and me telling them if I had to be alone for the rest of my life that was ok, but I was going to get what I wanted.
I am sorry but that looks like you are insuating that the rest of us who have come in contact with one of these "masters of the game" as one step coined it, must be desperate women who aren't picky about who we date. How nice. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 3:03:26 PM | I would go to chance and say that many people (men and women) feel that you can get to know someone and start a relationship online and not actually get to know the little things slowly about a person.
Figure out the little things about them .. too many seem to want to be online and then rn straight into a situation of dating serious... You might know how the type and form words .. BUT .. do you REALLY know who they are??
Does her pantyhose across the shower bother you? His snoring, he picks his toes, she files her nails at the table ... his pets sleep on the floor and shes ok with the cat eating off the kitchen conter?
This isnt Wendys or McDonalds ... its not fast food ordering .. take the time and the steps to ensure that you know the person | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 4:13:51 PM |
I am sorry but that looks like you are insinuating that the rest of us who have come in contact with one of these "masters of the game" as one step coined it, must be desperate women who aren't picky about who we date. How nice.
I consider myself far from desperate and truly as many state, I would rather be alone than with a man who is not suitable for me. That is why I take things "one step at a time" and truly try to find out all that I can about a man, so that I am not played. I've been at this online thing for a year and seen and heard a lot, so it is not like I am not informed as to the goings on in here. Geez the forums tell you so much, so how can we be played right, how much wiser can we be if we are reading about all the horror stories in here on a daily basis.
I am telling you that this guy was smooth, a pro if you will, and he knew how to calmly and rationally answer all my questions........he had the "perfect" answers without a doubt.
Maybe that's it.......maybe when they seem to perfect for you, they probably are correct? So maybe I should start looking for the less perfect???? | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 6:37:24 PM | I am sorry but that looks like you are insuating that the rest of us who have come in contact with one of these "masters of the game" as one step coined it, must be desperate women who aren't picky about who we date. How nice.
I don't know enough about it, so I'm at a loss as to how it happens. I just know why I DON'T get involved with players.
I don't really look for love. It's just not the way I operate. I only get involved with a man if he's willing to be friends with me first. By the time we're an item I know his friends, his mom, his family. He may have even taken me to his high school reunion and his office Chrismas party, lol.
I don't accept explanations for things that don't sound right. If the guy doesn't have friends, doesn't have family, that's a huge red flag to me. If I don't see community connections, another huge flag. Some guy who just appears to be isolated all by himself? Huge, huge, huge red flag. I don't care if he's driving a Porche, owns a mansion, wears Armani suits and flies his own plane.
Other people's money is of absolutely no interest to me. I've got plenty of my own.
Players just aren't interested in women like me, I don't fit the bill for them. I'm just too "girl next door". I'm just plain old not worth the effort. A lot of non players feel that way too, but the players definitely don't want to be bothered.
I don't know how else to put it.
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 210 | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 7:56:25 PM | | I see two types of people online. There are the simply honest ones, who are straightforward, down-to-earth, sincere, usually making sense. Then there are the sneaky and suspicious ones who deal only with each other. The suspicious ones ignore the straightforward ones because they don't register on their sneak detection RADAR. They are tuned into the sneaky channel. The sneaky ones don't bother with the sincere folk, who only laugh at their antics. The game has two active roles, and lots of amused, innocent bystanders. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 8:08:57 PM | I see two types of people online. There are the simply honest ones, who are straightforward, down-to-earth, sincere, usually making sense. Then there are the sneaky and suspicious ones who deal only with each other. The suspicious ones ignore the straightforward ones because they don't register on their sneak detection RADAR. They are tuned into the sneaky channel. The sneaky ones don't bother with the sincere folk, who only laugh at their antics. The game has two active roles, and lots of amused, innocent bystanders.
OK let me get this straight.....theres honest people and dishonest people and the honest people never get fooled by the dishonest ones? Is that what you are saying? Hmmm so all the old folk who get fooled by those fly by night renovators who knock on their doors ?
Sorry this just doesnt make sense. There have always been con men/women and they are adept at fooling people...it has nothing to do with the victim's honesty or sincerity. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 213 | |
| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 8:49:27 PM | Guys that put up with the scrutiny of a long red flag discovery process should be avoided. He is a bottom feeding little guppie.
Guys that know they are a good catch and want a good catch to complement them ... would through that fish back early and go 
If there is some attraction and connection, you'd know with a couple of emails exchanges. meet early in a public place ... take your own car. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 9:27:31 PM | ^^^^ Not sure what you're getting at. No drown out discovery going on here or long red flag discovery process. I do what feels good and comfortable and go with that.
If I see the red flags it's bye, bye. So far what I've done has worked for me. I was married a long time. Widowed a little more than three years ago. Never did the on-line dating thing til I went on Match.com. A girlfriend pretty much put me on because she was sick of looking at me moping around missing my husband. Went on a bunch of first dates and finally settled on one guy who I've been seeing around a year and a half.
But then he didn't show his feet in his dating profile or have testimonials from a dozen women. (Very nice feet though, and very sexy ladies -- but unless they're gonna date you not sure how they're going to help you get OTHER women, lol). As I said, I go more for the guy next door type.
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 215 | |
| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 9:35:42 PM | ^^^ first of all, I wasn't talking to you ... and I to remain on topic, I would suggest that you should try the church social group for dating instead of online. Apparently, online is full of predators that want to take older women out to wine and dine.  | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/15/2006 9:47:37 PM | ITA one step! their are masters of the game and that doesn't make us nieave or stupid just maybe 2 trusting and wanting 2 beleive everyone is honest!
We want 2 beleive the good in someone, as we ourselves are!
I have a guy who found me on Y personals back in June.
Says he's a science Teacher from Philly P.a U.S.A
We were suppose 2 meet several diff times but never happened!
He knew just the rite buttons 2 push and is so Chrasmatic, romantic, everything I was hoping for..!!
Red Flag I ignored.... doesn't tell me much about himself says I will know everything when we meet!
Finally after putting everyone else on hold that was interested in me I finally decided after 3 months enough is enough!!
Well low and behold he calls me 2 months later says he misses me and I'am the one he wants,
he feels chemistry w/ me which I admit I also had felt w/ him.
At 1st I wanted nothing more 2 do w/ him but he was persistant, so I thought what do I have 2 lose... give it one more chance?
LOL this was in early november he wanted to meet me so bad this time, now it's december and still haven't met!! this man intrigues me I guess! lol
But I now told him this is it no more games I'am done putting my life on hold 4 him...!
Like u I try to analyze as 2 how can ppl be so cruel in playing these sick games w/ ppls hearts, that are seriously hoping 2 meet their special someone...???
I'am still trying 2 figure this one..!! lol
I did meet someone on Y personals 4 years ago was everything he said treated me like a queen, but he died..! 
Then moved back home I was legally seperated and wasn't divorced yet... long story,
but ended up being my husband's caregiver and he died this pass Jan 2006
So I guess I was hoping to find this kind of love again!  | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/16/2006 1:35:31 AM | I have another question on this topic...... could someone be expected to be dealing with a master if she says she is at a certain location yet the facts show she is talking to you from a different spot?
Do women do this as some kind of safety feature?
Is this just another red flag to avoid any possability in the future due to a lie?
What if someone is dealing with a whole pack of masters?
Could this just be a new way to date safely online by having a dating partner like the buddy system?
These are things worthy of thinking about.
These forums are great for exchanging information. You are not allowed to list being played by a specific person on here though or risk deletion.
That doesnt mean you can't have a friend to exchange information in emails with.
Do the people out there think this could be considered sneaky, dishonest, and create a lack of trust in the very begining?
Is trust granted freely or is it earned these days? | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/16/2006 6:32:23 AM | @mystical rose......sorry hun but this guy is definitely playing with your heart and mind if he has not agreed to meet after 3 months, don't ignore the red flags ok! He reeks of a player or a married man now that I think of it.
Ok now to try to answer the questions of the above poster....
I have another question on this topic...... could someone be expected to be dealing with a master if she says she is at a certain location yet the facts show she is talking to you from a different spot?
Hmmm, that's interesting because you would think to consider that to be a deception of course, but yet is she doing that as a safety thing?
If you revealed a little more of the point, I might be able to determine. I personally have never said I am somewhere when I was really somewhere else, so yes that would definitely raise a red flag to me.
Do women do this as some kind of safety feature?
Again it's possible but why would she do it? How long have you been talking to her? Is it like you could find her, why would she fear being found?
There is a vagueness to your questions.......
[quote ] What if someone is dealing with a whole pack of masters?
There probably are a whole pack of masters on here......hence the reason for the thread, to raise awareness especially to "newbies" coming on here who may be quite vulnerable to these master players. I really do believe they prey on vulnerability first and foremost, for it is given that we are more susceptible to this if we are healing from traumatic marriages/relationships.
[quote Is trust granted freely or is it earned these days?
To me it must be earned there is no other way to go about it...... | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/16/2006 9:29:36 AM | This may have been discussed, but since I don't feel like reading through all the pages in this thread I may have missed it.
Has anyone considered the idea that these folks are not much "Masters of the Game" but rather true sociopaths? I've been fortunate to not meet any of these people while trying this online dating, (Or fortunate to have weeded them out?) but I have run across one 100% sociopath offline in my personal life. He was dating a friend of mine and absolutely destroyed her emotionally. You can't always pick these people up on the radar. I know in this case, none of us saw it coming. He seemed like a great guy. This happened about 3 yrs ago, this woman is still dealing with issues and probably will be for quite some time.
I think there are "Masters of the game" but I think you have a much better chance of spotting them if you take the time to listen to your head, not your heart. Not always, but probably most times. The sociopaths? I wouldn't wish what happened to my friend on my worst enemy. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/16/2006 10:55:44 AM | Nicky2Tone, you absolutely hit the nail on the head there and since they estimate that around 5% of the population has some form of anti-social personality disorder, its not that uncommon to come in contact with someone like this.
Since my encounter with one, I did read a bit on it and I could see (after the fact) that he "fit" the diagnosis in every single way. They have a lack of empathy that is very marked. They don't have any concern for others feelings, they don't adhere to social norms or rules, they are very good at blaming others for their own irresponsible behaviour. Saying that their parents, spouses, kids are the reason they have ended up as they are. They have a history of several failed relationships but they seem to be able to start relationships easily enough.They can be very charming and give plausible reasons for anything negative that has happened to them. Lying is a way of life so they are very good at not showing any physical hints that they are lying. They can look you straight in the eye and lie. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/16/2006 5:20:43 PM | K, I didn't read the whole thread. I'm just responding to the OP's post.
I will only try to speak to the male "Masters of the Game", I'm sure that both genders have them but it's easier to speak about the male type.
Do men say what they think the lady wants to hear, even if it's not the truth? You bet. Some guy sends 10,20, 30 e-mails. He gets one response. These are well written and thoughtfull e-mails we're talking about. All but the one lady that responds are "read/deleted". They chat for a bit. Get to know each other. This guy may know a little something about human nature. He's faced with a choice. Play up some things he knows the lady would like to hear or not do that. He knows that this lady is getting 10 or more e-mails a day from other guys all eager for her attention. What choice do you think this man will make?
A guy on the net has to make a good impression FAST. Now some guys do this with thier looks. I'm sure we've all seen the male and female profiles that say nothing. You know "ask me", but they are good looking. I chat buddy of mine showed me a message sent to her from a guy on here. The message was "hey lets chat". My first thought was that this guy couldn't be doing very well on here. His profile was about as charming as his e-mail. Guess what, he was on 70 fav lists. Women and men are both shallow when it comes to looks it seems.
So, here's this guy, he's not ugly but he's not GQ either. He has to impress with his words not his looks and he has to do if fast. Have the other person thinking "wow, this guy has something I've been looking for". If he doesn't get the other person thinking that in a e-mail, maybe two, she will move on. Either to another guy who does give that impression to her or to that guy who is GQ.
I won't go though all 2 plus years of dating I've done on here but.....
I've learned alot. I've met alot of great ladies. I have far less bad dates to talk about than most people seem to have. The way you have to go about to get those dates though is almost all negitive. This is fast food dating. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/16/2006 7:59:06 PM | I cant believe people think this is rocket science.
ANY ONE CAN GET PLAYED... A N Y O N E .
All thse self professed people who act like they never give into the impulse of love. Those who pretend that hope isnt possible.. and that the dream is dead...
THEN WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE.
Crawl under your rock with your paranoid, all is well, wise self and dont bother.
Dating is a risk. If so many of you have it figured out, well.. why the hell are you single.
we all want love... we want to be loved, adored, and cherished.
it has and will happen to the best of us. it will never stop. you can prepare as best you can.. but may happen.. it may not.. we never know... its this all a crap shoot. we hope.. we pray.. that someday.. we may not need POF anymore... till then.. its the risk we take...
DONT for gods sake take a broad brush and stoke the world with your misery.
Common sense would say... when the tears have dried...to pick yourself up.. dust yourself off... put on that old Nancy Sinatra record... and reapply your lipstick...
Did you get it? | |
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RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 223 | |
| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/16/2006 10:14:54 PM | ^^^^^fire has said what I've been trying to say. IT HAPPENS PERIOD. We at one point have had it happen to the best of us. And weither you want to admit it at times we may have done it to others. It's dating. It's not a bashing thing. It just happens, and we always hope we'll be able to spot them the next time around.
This thread is getting STUPID people saying the same crap, nothing new. | |
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| MASTERS OF THE GAME........
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:10:06 PM |
I would suggest that you should try the church social group for dating instead of online. Apparently, online is full of predators that want to take older women out to wine and dine.
Thanks for the pointers. If I'm ever unattached again, I guess I'll have to find a religion and join a church. However, I ddin't find the on-line world filled with predators. I had a couple of boring dates, but no sociopaths. I just don't think I'm their type.
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