| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 2:03:27 PM | so I am alittle sick of game players (can you just say what you want ) and notso Ihope to hear from you
 | |
|
be150
|
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 27 | |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 2:04:44 PM | Xian, we also NEED people. We are not created as bubbles to live on our own. We need people. I know - some say no, we want people or we want someone in our lives, but we don't need them. Ture only to an extent. I think we NEED to have people because we are social beings .. and people should be indispensible.
The point I am trying to make is that we treat people as entertainment for us. Once they stop entertaining us - or as you put it 'yawn' - we throw them away. That is not how life works. Life is about persistence and about working for healthy relationships.
I dont bring my work home either. But that is not the point. The point is that because we know that this is the work we should be doing, we stick with it. Of course if the job is bad for us nothing will ever make us stay in it. In relationships, just the knowledge that people are dispensible, disposable, or the fact that someone else or better is out there, makes us trivialize the relationship or trivialize the other person. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 4:14:51 PM | | Well for me I know it something to do with my inability to drive and my lack of free time due to my job. Granted my job may not pay much but still it's a job and at least I get paid at all. Honestly other than that I seariously do not know as to why I am still single. I have a soaring confidence level, I love myself as well as most of the people around me, and I am well manored for most of the time. I suppose I might be slightly better off not being in a relationship, but it would be really nice to have someone to cuddle with durring the holidays. To share my thoughts with someone else, to share this gigantic heart of mine with someone else. Alright you got me, I am very lonely and part of me craves a relationship. I am addicted to love. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 5:03:18 PM | People nowadays get married, and I stated before and I will always say that when people take their vows it sounds like the teacher on Charlie Brown....Noone listens to the vows or takes them seriously......its far to easy to  (take off) when the going gets  tough.....it sounds like blah, blah, blah
You don't need a reason to get divorced...its basically just oh well I'm not happy so I'm moving on......When couples have a problem or a  again its far to esy to
I've been on this site for about 6 months...and I have spoken to alot of men,, and I am absolutely amazed at the fact that their wives had affairs......!!!!!!
Years ago people stuck together through thick and thin, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health..granted there were some bad marriages....but come on now...over 65% of marriages fail...People get bored, and its not always boredom its called the comfort zone....if someone had an affair they didn't take out a full page add in the paper the next day, they kept it quiet and worked on it...and yes stayed together....its called life and someone to share your life with through the good and the bad...and NOBODY DOES THAT ANYMORE!!!
I bet if we all took a survey there would be alot of individuals out there that wish they hadn't walked out or did what they did to ruin their marriage...or fought for it more...instead of being angry and involving lawyers and just think of all the screwed up kids this generation is raising b/c of the broken homes...Man ...its is awful....you think you marry an angel and they turn out to be the devil in disguise...but years ago....you worked on it and stuck it out....
Like I said no one should stay in a marriage if it is abusive.....but for heavens sake the mid life crisis crap and the oh i missed out on something or someone...again REMEMBER THOSE VOWS!!!!!
I figure if the courts denied some divorces or made people go to therapy that may help....everyone now a days wants everything too fast, the big house, the cottage, the travelling, they aren't prepared to work for it...or they go into debt and then money b/c an issue...its a whole lot of things...and I should probably write my thesis on this..thank you, you have brought an idea to my melon and I may just with it....
 Mozie00 | |
|
d1000
|
Joined: 10/15/2006
Msg: 30 | |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 5:21:24 PM | I really wouldn't be too concerned about it, you sound like too nice a person to be wound-up in this online dating racket. ;)
Personally I'm single because 1) I like it and 2)I've run across too many flakes, freaks, attention whores, gold-diggers, liars, sluts, prudes, etc., etc., etc. These people far outweigh the regular, lovely people with whom one can create a friendship or "relationship" from my "real life" experience. People also get tired of one another eventually, move or meet someone else, any number of things can break a couple. Looking for a person to "spend the rest of your life with" is honorable just as long as one doesn't apply this desire to everyone one meets right off the bat. This site is no different than the physical world but it is much easier to be as critical and selective as one wants in virtual anonymity. Said it once I'll say it again, these sights are filled with people who will grow old alone because they're looking for their "ideal" mate (read utopian fantasy) and aren't willing to explore regular people or settle for much "less". I can only imagine there are also some wonderful catches if one can have a lot of patience and not take the whole process too personally or seriously. Jesus H. Christ, there has to be... LOL
I'd rather be single than be subjected to people's whim and unrealistic expectations. At least if one were to meet a person in public there would be a fair indication of eachother's interest within minutes. Not hours, days, maybe months in some people's cases. IM'ing and e-mailing back and forth only to have the other person come to the conclusion that you're not for them after all because of something you said, a character trait or or some other triviality. I've had some nice volleys with women here and then never heard boo from them again after giving them my phone# suggesting that if they feel comfortable calling I'd love to speak with them. Comfort level is one thing but wow... I'm a pathetic typist which doesn't make it easy nor is it good time management in my case. I'm not the most touchy-feely politically correct person around either and wearing one's heart on one's sleeve can be easily misinterpreted over the internet with written word unfortunately as I've found myself. I'd hazard a guess and say that you'll be single longer hanging around online dating sites than you will just getting out and meeting people traditionally. Take some continuing education at night or get involved in your community somehow. Just a couple of suggestions, an outgoing personality helps somewhat also... ;)
I wouldn't get discouraged, have fun with it and DO NOT take this online circle jerk too seriously. Good luck to you and all! | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 5:42:19 PM | | I have to agree with so many on here......people in gernal are flaky or always on patrol for greener grass....That is why I want committment without marriage as some have hidden agendas of trying to get half of what you have worked your whole life for when they came to the plate with nothing.......they are only committed to getting ahead at the expense of others and that is not limited to just females as I have had my share of men try to walk away with a half they never contributed to.......some are single because the are continual game players while others are tired of the game......we choose to keep them at arms length.........relationsips have become disposable....feelings are only one sided and these people play the game well while the rest of us who believe in monogamy and love get scarred......making it difficult for true love to be heard.... | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 5:45:14 PM | the question is no why are so many of uuuus single...its why are so many of us single again? Are we as humans so disposable that we arent worth forgiving,second chances? Divorces should be mandatory in domestic violence cases,and impossible to get just because a couple had an arguement. Todays kids are growing up so confused..they have 8 sets of grandparents, grandparents thy call mom and dad,a dozen half sibs on their daddys side, and 8 on their mothers. You know, in some states, its almost madatory to take counceling classes to GET married, but none,no even mediation classes to help people especially kids go through it, and we wonder why more and more people are addicted to alcohol,cigarettes,and meds off the streets..this is crazy..we all go into a relationship thinking,well,if it doesnt work out, we can get a divorce...get an annulment....move out....I want to have a husband that we grow old together,travel have holidays with our families, or am I just wishing for days gone by?    | |
|
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 5:48:34 PM | these dating sites have made it sooooo easy for all of us to pick and choose.just look at all those loser husbands out there on line.
i get hundreds of emails a week,and everyone one is just a tad better than the one before,i dont date at all! | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 5:50:44 PM | | Why are so many of us single? Because any realtionship is a constant work of keeping it fresh and exciting and we've become a society of people who are lazy and too busy with outside activities. Our priorities are not where they should be. We want so much for someone to hold us, listen to us, to share with, someone to do things with, a soul mate, best friend and confidant that we rush into a relationship, we settle; thus setting ourselves up to fail. Especially this time of year when what you hear on the radio, see on TV or at the movies or even television ads-everything is couples. Love at Christmas time. We have needs, we are vunerable. | |
|
| |
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:23:44 PM | I think people are single for a whole lot of reasons..starting with womans lib!..we achieved and gain so much..but lost so much.Woman give birth...go to work...raise the kids..do all the house work...etc!.woman do too much!!.so we are more selective...because we dont need men!!( to survive....speaking from experience) ,we can do it all ourselves!!.also because of the change in roles..people just tolerate a lot less these days!.we quickly "pack it in!"...quicker than our parents or Grandparets did!!.my parents have had rough times in their marriage..but managed to stay married for 56 years!!...again "56 years".very few new marriages will last even 10 years...let alone a "decade".couples expect equality...and thats good to want that..but if the scales tipp more to one side...we are out of here!.I think their are more ways to "cheat" .( eg.internet!). so I think these are a few reasons why their are so many "single" people out their!. | |
|
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:34:41 PM |
we can do it all ourselves!!.
No you can't and neither can we but that is a whole nother story. Take a look around you at all the things men have built to make life easier and take them away and then come talk to me. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:34:57 PM | Excellent post. Really enjoyed this one. I agree with most of what has been said.
One thing I might add is that because there are so many different types of fish in the pond, most of us are relearning a lot of lessons that we learned back in High School,
and have not had need of for a while. I know I am, LOL! But all of life is learning. I always feel that as long as I have learned something it was worth it.
If it eventually leads to us making a wise choice of partner for a long term relationship it makes it all worthwhile.
I know that while dating has its ups and downs, I have had some fun on POF, while learning all about it again, and believe I am a better person for it. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:49:55 PM | Well, I can't speak for everyone here, but I just figured no one could stand having me around.
But that is a good question. I think that maybe we're just looking for something we don't know how to find. Or that we are looking for something that not many other people want. At least, that's how I feel. | |
|
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:57:48 PM | | Bravo! I agree totally with what you wrote. Just wanted to let you know. I'm not hitting on you. T | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:58:24 PM | | Can you imagine how few will actually meet this perfect person they are looking for here. Ha!! The world turns fast and most will watch their ship sail away. They better hope they saved for retirement or there will be nobody to lean on when they become old and decrepid. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 6:59:13 PM | Most people don't want to put in the effort for something great. Especially when you can have something "good" almost instantly. I like food so I put it in terms of food. It's like a microwave age. Why put in the effort to actually prepare/cook something if it takes a half hour when you can microwave it and have it in 2 minutes? A lot of people want the results of the actual work for it, but they don't want to do it, so they'll go to a sit down kind of restaurant for it instead.
Yeah it sounds kinda stupid but it works... it's pretty much everyone wants instant gratification and if they don't get what they want soon enough they move on and pass up anything they could have had.
I'm sure someone will laugh at this but at least it's enjoyable. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:07:14 PM | | ^^^ Actually it's dead on accurate. Look at all the lazy young people that don't want to work for a living. They want it all handed to them. Like it's one big party on someone else's tab. We are the laziest, "fast food" society to date and yet we want it all right now. Someone explain that one to me. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:09:15 PM | | You make it sound like a bad thing. Being single and strong enough to be self-sufficient is, in my opinion, a good thing. I would prefer to do without the stress a relationship can bring if it outweighs the occasional loneliness being single can produce. Consider how many people have paid in varying capacities by hooking up with wrong person. Perhaps so many of us are single because we're better off that way. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 7:38:34 PM | i am single an my reasons why i wont date....not cause i dont want too...i honestly really do ...i miss the companionship of another....miss alot of things that couples do together...i miss someone being by my side thru the good times an bad by supporting each others needs an wants.....but right now...i just cant allow anyone to mistreat me.... it hurts way to much and it can be emotional at times. i always gave my 150% effort an time.
many send mixed messages which leads me to confusion....many have told me one thing an do another....i been told things an none of it were true...i trusted they were being honest with me....but they werent...many make promises to only break them ....many label me as a friend...ok thats kewl with me..but they want more?...so what am i suppose to believe...who do i trust?
i am exhausted of puttin myself out there to only get disappointed in the end...i am tired of putting my heart on the line...to get it crushed. most will do the talk...talk is cheap an easy ..i need more then that ..i need actions and proof to their words. to many use the (love) word to easily....which makes me very leery....and i become very cautious and why shouldnt i? love isnt suppose to hurt or bring tears to a loved one. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. so why are many to quick to saying this word?
what i dont get is...how many can say they love someone without even having any physical or emotional ties between one another. love is an important word to me an i take it very seriously...i only say it if i mean it.
so therefore...my experiences have left me with very little hopes...for good reasons. does love really exisit...i really dont know anymore. i truley want to believe it does....maybe in time it will again...but not right now. being single has its good points. | |
|
daisie
|
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 50 | |
| BECAUSE ITS A SINGLE SITE
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:14:33 PM | because LIFE is a lonnnnnngggggggggggggg damn time and ya gotta get a gooooooooooood one. A really really good one.
| |
|
Home
login 
