| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:42:11 PM | | Ummm Having read most of the posts here,I think the reason stand out fairly well..There is not one umm mistake only one who hasn;t been hurt? due to a relationship fault.Every one else IS AFRAID TO MAKE A COMMITMENT--Ladies want to use and move on.Now why are there so many single people???? | |
|
ISO
|
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 52 | |
| |
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 3:47:00 AM | Thanks to everyone for their responses BUT I'M STILL CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!
The theme running thru this thread is we shouldn't give up too easily and think that the grass is greener on the other side, so instead of working on a relationship we end it and move on!
If we all know this, why arn't we working on sorting out the every day little problems in a relationship rather than ending it & looking for a new partner? It is very easy to meet people but much harder to meet 'the one' so when we do finally feel we have met 'the one' isn't the relationship worth a little bit of extra work?
HAPPY HOLS xxx | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 4:06:05 AM | If I may add yes we all think the grass is greener on the other side , but I believe and I’ve done it myself, that we get bored seeking 4 that one person and jump from one to the other. Try and put a little effort into the person before moving on hell only knows that might be the one U want  | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 4:29:20 AM | I think the sad truth is that there are more single people today than married ones. I would imagine that to stay married today requires alot of work on both peoples part. People today don't have that drive & determination to work things out when they get tough. It's much easier to cut & run & that's usually what happens today. Many confuse love with lust & although lust isn't a bad thing, it isn't something you can build a lasting relationship on either. This has became a disposable world. It has become way too easy & acceptable to get married & then get divorced, just like changing your clothes or something. What happened to vows & meaning what you say. I sometimes think that the qualities I believe in that are important to have, are not as important to most. I guess I'm a dieing breed......... | |
|
Japes
|
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 4:51:36 AM | For me the truth of the matter is this, people are often looking for someone else to make them happy. In this state as soon as your un-happy with the other perosn you feel it is there fault you feel this way.
Now until I realised that only I could make myself happy there was always the "She makes me mad/happy/whatever". Once I stepped past this point and saw that I am the only person who can make me happy my life changed completely. Even in the middle of what my ex-girlfriend saw as a row and I saw as a discussion it was crystal clear to me that I could choose to argue or discuss, I could choose to be calm or angry, I could choose....
This is my personal take... feel free to choose to agree, debate or disagree… | |
|
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 5:32:59 AM | | Because most people aren't happy with what they have they must seek to find better even if it means risking what's already good. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 5:51:03 AM | Why is it so hard to meet & stay with one person for 'life'?
one or both are not in love,doesnt love conquer everything | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 6:14:45 AM | If you think about what you are asking, the "us" in question is people using a SINGLES internet system. In theory at least, EVERYBODY here should be single, not "so many of us". And the why part of it, every individual will have their own reason.
Almost everybody here at some point posts a reference to how bad they were screwed over by an ex. That kind of jaded, vindictive attitude is a large part of it. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 6:15:01 AM | I'm single by choice and will stay that way til I meet my other half..like a yin/yang a perfect fit | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 6:30:43 AM |
i am single an my reasons why i wont date....not cause i dont want too...i honestly really do ...i miss the companionship of another....miss alot of things that couples do together...i miss someone being by my side thru the good times an bad by supporting each others needs an wants.....but right now...i just cant allow anyone to mistreat me.... it hurts way to much and it can be emotional at times. i always gave my 150% effort an time.
many send mixed messages which leads me to confusion....many have told me one thing an do another....i been told things an none of it were true...i trusted they were being honest with me....but they werent...many make promises to only break them ....many label me as a friend...ok thats kewl with me..but they want more?...so what am i suppose to believe...who do i trust?
i am exhausted of puttin myself out there to only get disappointed in the end...i am tired of putting my heart on the line...to get it crushed. most will do the talk...talk is cheap an easy ..i need more then that ..i need actions and proof to their words. to many use the (love) word to easily....which makes me very leery....and i become very cautious and why shouldnt i? love isnt suppose to hurt or bring tears to a loved one. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. so why are many to quick to saying this word?
what i dont get is...how many can say they love someone without even having any physical or emotional ties between one another. love is an important word to me an i take it very seriously...i only say it if i mean it.
so therefore...my experiences have left me with very little hopes...for good reasons. does love really exisit...i really dont know anymore. i truley want to believe it does....maybe in time it will again...but not right now. being single has its good points.
Amen! I have gotten this lately and it sure does sting. Why is it so hard to tell the truth from the start instead of playing with someone's emotions? If I am not into someone I tell them. Yet time and time again I get told alot of stuff to have it all be untruthful and nothing that was told or talked about with me was the truth. not whining I am fine being alone. If I never find the one for me I am happy with myself enough to be alone. Just wish more would be truthful instead of playing games. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 7:10:56 AM | Because people always think that they can do better (whatever that is)
Or they are hung up on something/ someone that they want but can't have.
Or on their "top 10 list" of things they look for in a person, you rank only a "7" out of "10".
So they go on, looking for the person who they hope will meet their whole list.....
Yeah, good luck with that !!!! | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 7:14:36 AM | | I really think it's because people get set in their ways (as some said) and are not willing to compromise, they expect their partner to be perfect and do all the changing. If you are in a relationship and want it to work you have to do some changing but it seems most don't want to anymore, they have become selfish. I know the last 2 women in my life were like that anyway. I was supposed to give, give, give and they wanted to take, take, take. Both had been not been in a relationship for at least 5 years so they got too set in their ways and selfish. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 7:16:54 AM | | i feel that most american women are worthless they just want and want they dont want to give anything in return and when your down cause you lose your job they kick you out and some other mother moves in your home i know i went threw it back in 1996 after i had back surgery could not even walk that good she told me to get out wayne was moving in what a B. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 7:28:43 AM | Here's a thought no one has brought up. Why are so many of us single? Maybe because we were never meant to be married for life. Think about it, in the 3 million or so years humans have existed, how much of that time was it the norm to have one mate forever? The last thousand years, maybe? We live short lives, and tend to look at our reality as being the only reality. But if you look over the long term, biologically the concept of mating for life is practically a brand new concept.
Also, we live much longer now than our ancestors, and chances are you are not the same people you were 5, 10, 15 years ago. Many marriages fail because what each of the partners need has changed. It doesn't mean they weren't compatible when they married, they just didn't stay that way.
Then there is the infamous seven year itch, which turns out to have a biological basis in fact. When we "fall in love" we release tons of hormones that make those early years of marriage so blissful. But guess how long that hormonal high lasts - about six to seven years. After that if you remain married it is because both partners work at the relationship. All too many people think once they are married, they don't have to try anymore. They get lazy, caught in the stresses of life, whatever. Bottom line is if you don't focus a significant amount of your energy on your relationship with your spouse, the marriage is going to end after the hormonal high fades away.
Something to think about. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 7:43:31 AM | | Suzanne, I think your closer than any suggestion I have read... To me the biggest challenge in life any more is what to wear today, or what the kid is doing. years ago, Men put the bread on the table, and did the heavy things. after all keep in mind.. thats what we do, and also, honestly.. you will never take the boy out of the man.. and much of the time thats what makes men fun.. being silly, doing things that get talked about later... 65 years ago we were involved in WWll men became hero's women adored them, they were fearless, but women also had to deal with the pain of loosing their hero, mostly by death, no woman wants to face that.. women respected their man, and man adored their women.. today there is no hero's women are becoming independant, no one is willing to practice their vows, for better or worse, when the going gets tough.. its time to split and look else where... I was in a relationship not long ago where the woman was newly divorced with a 13yr old daughter, because she was so afraid her daughter could leave her and live with her father, she spoiled her beyond beleif, no diciplin at all, she smoked pot with her friends, (although mother wouldn't admit to herself she was doing that) I once told her mother I found a note to her daughter addressed from one of her friends asking if she was going to have sex with another young man, I brought this to her mother and got kicked out of the house, ended the relationship.. comon people.. face the facts.. learn to deal with problems and face them... you can only avoid them for so long... I for one believe in a marriage and what the good book says.. but that's how I was raised... I also show consideration and respect for others.. not much like our youth today.. and when I do see a youngster showing that, I always commend them for it... | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 7:45:27 AM | | Wonder2-Thank you so much for posting this! This is so true. At my age 49 -It took me this long to learn this truth. I'm saving this & printing it out! | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 8:16:03 AM | | cause we screw it up cause we are guys and we throw things away and stupid shit that we totally regret. u try and fix it and it does but the next day they change there minds. hardness happens every day life. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 8:24:24 AM | Suzanne,
I totally agree with the "instant gratification" thing.
About a month ago I met a woman at Publix. I thought she was it; pretty petite, witty. She retired at 47, loved many of the things I did. We talked about not having sex early in the relationship because it "clouds the red flags". I am looking for a long term romance so I was ready to wait.
After date three she invited me up to her place. We were watching a movie when she snuggled up to me. The next thing I know she asks me "do you want to spend the night?"
I should have had the courage to say no but we made love.
After a few more dates, she told me "you're the most amazing guy, great kisser, etc. but I'm not in love with you and I want us to be friends".
I realized I was just played by a player. I misenterpreted her passion for true feelings.
All she wanted was a fling and because I thought she was "all that" I let my core values go to the wayside. I didn't even enjoy the sex; I truly felt disconnected.
Next time I'm going to wait and really get know the person; no more instant relationships - they hurt. | |
|
| BECAUSE ITS A SINGLE SITE
Posted: 12/6/2006 8:58:05 AM |
BECAUSE ITS A SINGLE SITE
Talk about a sampling bias.
Goddamn!
I think the Originating Poster's intent was to analyze the available sample & try to find out what the reasons were for people here being in this situation. I appreciate the humor nonetheless.
My own take on it was that there appears to be a 'misfit' tendency on the members of this site - people here seem to be attracted to those who do are not attracted in return. Why that is, I have no idea. I really should take some time to learn to use the search function better. | |
|
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 9:10:33 AM | Hmmm...well. A woman goes out on a date. She has a great time, thinks to herself "What a nice guy". Gets back onto POF and has 50 email messages waiting. Thinks...hmmmm this guy might be even better...stops returning first guys calls.
The grass is always green syndrom.
yeah...guys do it too. | |
|
| |
| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 12:37:27 PM | | I think lots of people are just looking for the perfect person but nobody is perfect. I read the one answer that said it was woman liberation but that can't be it. Men are supposed to bring home money and work and the woman wife/mother would look after the house/kids. but now it can be the other way around which is fine lots of men are homemakers and love it. that being said why would it be so hard for role reversal in dating, for example women asking guys out maybe picking up the last ugly guy at the bar or initiating the interest. woman wonder why the good men don't try to hard its because there intimidated by u and everything u can do now. Maybe this is just payback from the mistreatment of women in the begining. women are amazing and what always has been said a good man usually has a good woman behind him. women have the power to change the future of relationships and dating and even marriage. I think now men are just looking for equality like lets lose the tradition of dating and start a new generation of men and women who comprimise with each other to make relationships work. Physical attraction is tough to get around cause who is going to love you when your looks are gone. And why i am still single cause i can't get over being shy and my looks like my reseding hairline and me being unfit and i am a pretty boring person wheres the woman who looks for that in a man on her profile tell her to message me. | |
|
Home
login 
