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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 3:44:25 PM | No mention of living in a small town, where little to any choice to find a lady.
At 58, lucky me that all my past loves have remained friends.
Internet love, well said before that the grass is always greener on the other side.
So sorry to hear of the death of a spouse, never had the chance to say goodbye. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 5:41:19 PM | | I think in general ppl's morals have changed scandal isn't such a biggy now... kids out of wedlock, casual sex, no commitment, you don't answer to anyone, freedom, affairs and divorce isn't something we batter an eyelid at. I suppose most feel why have your cake when u can eat it it's a shame really xjx | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/6/2006 8:07:34 PM | After seeing over and over, the talk of the grass beng greener,,,where exactly is it greener?
Where you WATER it. That's where. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 10:04:21 AM | It's also true that....some of us are single....because of circumstances beyond our control.
I know it takes two to tango
I know both partners are imperfect
I know also that
It takes two consenting adults to marry....but....only one
to push thru a divorce..
The second instance of being "single against your will" would of course pertain to those who have been widowed. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 10:37:16 AM | Women play games with me all my life...flirting with me hundreds of them down the years... | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 11:33:49 AM |
I think in general ppl's morals have changed scandal isn't such a biggy now... kids out of wedlock, casual sex, no commitment, you don't answer to anyone, freedom, affairs and divorce isn't something we batter an eyelid at. I suppose most feel why have your cake when u can eat it it's a shame really xjx
Another opportunity for reflection on the changes of our society. I have no answers here, only more questions. There's a huge difference between the reaction of people to tragedy in the early part of the 20th century in the US and now.
When the Hindenburg went down in flames, less than a hundred people died. The reporter on the scene was literally crying and unable to contain his emotions. FDR's "this day will live in infamy" speech was less emotional, but still far more so than GWB's reaction to the 9/11 attacks.
So it seems to me that we have become less caring as a group of individuals. Note that I did not say we've become less caring as a society, because that would be a statement on society rather than about individual people, which is what I was commenting on.
Seems to me that people don't care as much anymore. Seems to me that we've become jaded, clinical, detached.
Thoughts? | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 11:48:51 AM | People are too concerned with looks and chase after a minority of people while the vast majority are mostly ignored. And this goes for both sexes.
Also, there is the fairy tale syndrome of people believing they have this perfect match that all they have to do is wait around and eventually it will come to them. Anybody watch Sleepless in Seattle? What a rediculous movie. She has this guy that she admits has nothing wrong with him, and she chases after this guy she hears on the radio. Maybe a bit farfetched, but I think behavior like this happens on a smaller scale fairly frequently. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 4:31:55 PM | | Because people do stupid things, say or don't say things that will end things, because people are stupid and everyone's to lazy to work on their problems anymore. Because lonelyness don't seem to bug anyone anymore. Because now having sex with everyone and everything is "in" and totally exceptable, even with the rise of stds. Because appartently drugs mean more to people then other people. Because everyone wants somebody thats "hotter" and they can show off verses having someone they can be happy with. Because people are just to damn complicated and everyone gives up. Thats why no one can meet and stay with anyone, those and a billion other reasons. people just cant be happy...its against some sort of rule or something. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 5:07:29 PM | I've read on here (a lot) about women playing games....try this one on for size.
I'm at lunch with this guy, it's our second date. He goes to the restroom, after a little while this other guy comes out of the restroom and comes over to the table and says to me "your friend is talking dirty to someone on the phone in there, just thought you'd like to know".
My "date" (who claimed to be very religious) came back out and said he was having an allergic reaction and had to go home (2 hour drive), no couldn't go to the emergency room locally, had to go home.
How does that rate on the old game board?
Batter uuuup! | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 7:15:39 PM |
And if you're like me and didn't buy a house 20 yrs ago and starved to pay for it, you're probably wondering how you're going to buy one w/o robbing an armored car.
No robbing any armoured cars please ! Thank you !
Try your best if you really want to, but I shoot 98 with my gun. :)
Derek | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 7:44:22 PM | I think most of us get tired of looking then we get these WEAK thoughts that we can change the indifferences in someone (male or female) although the medical field tells us we have learned aspects of who we are by age 6, yes age 6.......
Then we get these even more dillusions of what we want the other to be, act like, have...etc...so forth and so on...keeping up with Jones', livin' it large...etc.. and when our tower tumbles into the dungeons of nothingness we are all ready to jump ship...divorce... separate...get away... if it becomes too much like work...I am out...
Then there comes immortality...life is too short to be unhappy most of it....so why should I stay in a relationship for everyone else but me....what makes me tick is not occurring here.. I am ticking on their whims, schedules....only to say I am apart of something...a family...which behind closed doors is not at all a family but separate people running amidst.....
Then alone in the world to search out that true blue person we find it difficult...most people have agendas..again, agendas not on the lifes schedule you desired... then you have to start visiting events, parties, clubs alone for most of your friends are married or have significant others.....you are the odd man out....we resort to abstract opportunities...
THERE YOU ARE.....some put occupations before relationships, others bypassed relationships looking for Mr. OR Ms. Goodbar..... and the frequent flyers of relationships gone bad have those trial and error records to over come....once burned ok, twice burned well I need to start learning something from this..... Three times I am a damn fool...
but the commonality still persists...we all want someone, we all want to feel love and give love...but when the entities of evil mix with the genuine it is fatal..... | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/7/2006 8:01:24 PM | In my case I'm single due to a combination of 2 main factors.
One, first "partner" broke all trust by having an affair after just over 7 years together, worse still caught her "at it" in our own home at the time. Trust, for me anyway, went straight out the window! 
Second, having sadly, got a serious medical condition which I'm open about, {Coronary Heart Disease} seems this has become a "barrier" against meeting someone, despite the fact that I'm actually no more at risk of a heart attack than the next person, in fact less so due to medication!!
As soon as I put some details on my profile about the condition, I noticed within 2 days I had disappeared off various 'favourite lists'. I now appear on no favourite lists at all. Is that the price of honesty perhaps?
Begs the question, can you be too honest on these date sites?
Won't change my attitude, as far as I am concerned honesty, loyalty, trust, personality all mean more than looks alone. always has done, always will do.
That means of course talking to people to get to know them in an open and honest manner.
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/8/2006 6:47:12 AM | I agree with so many of ya'll answers (views) on this deep subject...For myself I always make like June Cleaver and no Im not that old but ya know the type.... home cooking,soak his feet kinda girl OMG I hear it and it makes me barf LOL.People change ...whats good for us at 20 isnt the same at 40 sooo we just have different needs etc and we grow away from people or we just say this isnt working anymore as hard as that can be...It isnt so bad being single but I hate the dating I like the ok so now we know what we want lets just have fun and sail along,or at least until the new wears off I love the honeymoon (who doesnt)  It can be fun tho and if it isnt working move along little doggies! | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/8/2006 11:59:16 PM | I guess you have to break down this question and ask:
1. Why are so many of us single and are happy about it and;
2. Why are so many of us single and sad about it.
Could it be that:
a. we just won't settle
b. we are too picky
c. we are looking for perfection that does not exist
d. we want to hurt 1st so we don't get hurt
e. fear of abandonment/especially if it happened to us as children
f. fear of committing
g. low self esteem issues
h. children of broken homes
i. always attracting the wrong people, i.e. addictive personalities--drinkers, sex addicts, gamblers, drug addicted, (to extremes)
j. all of the above
k. none of the above
l. not an economic necessity to be a couple
My friends have listed all these reasons. Each person must be his own judge I guess.
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/9/2006 2:59:28 AM | Well I have a thought and I've brought it up with people before... POF... along with other dating sites, turn everything into a business, along with being addicting! Let's face it, this is alot of fun! You get to meet new people, hear their stories as horrible as they may be, and then you can do it all over again! There are 6975 people online right now!!! It's inevitable that one will be a night out sometime in the future!
It's human to believe that you must always do better. A pilot analogy I recently heard says it all:
A pilot is flying in his Cessna 172 and looks up to see a Twin engine King Air flying overhead. He says "Man I wish I was doing that"
The King Air Pilot looks up and sees a 737 flying overhead and thinks "Man I'd love to be doing that"
The 737 pilot looks up and sees a 747 flying overhead to think "I wish I was doing that"
The 747 pilot looks up and sees the streak of a SR71 Blackbird against the edge of space and thinks "I'd love to be doing that"
The SR71 pilot looks up to see the glow of the Space Shuttle floating by to think "I wish I was doing that"
The pilot on the Space shuttle is looking out of the window with a telescope and sees a Cessna 172 and says "Man I wish I was doing that!"
The point is that everyone wants to do better and better. On here it's too obvious what your opportunities are, and if you're an entrepeneur you may want to hold of on someone great on the off chance that there's someone better. I personally am not betting on meeting the love of my life here... I might, but I'm not gonna wage on it. The traditional days are gone, and that's why we all get tied up being "single". That coupled along with some baggage and you've got a great recipe for going around and around in circles. I'm a pilot... Flying a new airplane is like meeting someone new. You need to find out what makes them tick. Eventually you've flown alot, seen alot of systems, seen alot of places, and it's suddenly about getting there on time, and on target. What ever happened to the days you could go flying simply because you could? I wish I could still appreciate a Cessna 172 the way I used to.
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/9/2006 8:52:21 AM | The ones who hold off for this 'better' or 'perfect' person just wind up old, lonely, and unwanted.
In today's world, it doesn't take nearly as long for the 'new kid' to come into town and sweep away their glory.
This is a direct result of things trying to stay balanced. More picky people, a smaller, narrower window of opportunity to be successful in their search for perfection.
It's their gamble and the bed they made. I hope they enjoy sleeping in it alone. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/9/2006 10:17:34 PM | It's a combination of things. But it just boils down to this. There is always another...
Instead of trying to repair or fix things people always figure there is always another.
Conciously or not, the majority of people treat other people as things and commodities.
Anytime you've broken off a relationship without trying to repair it with 100% of yourself, you've commited this sin.
Anytime someone leads someone else on then changes their mind after a month or so you commit this crime.
It's basically an endless form of window shopping and it is unfortunate that society has come to this. Even vows mean nothing anymore.
To be honest there is just so much double standard going on in relationships.
We have people who say "I'm just not attracted to you" and that BS. We'll how are you supposed to be attracted to someone if you don't give them a real chance? Flirting and a few dates is not giving someone else a chance.
People grow old, even the most attractive person will just turn into a wrinkly old person someday (and sooner than you think) and here we are wasting time "looking for Mr. or Ms. Right'' when such a person does not exist.
People give so many lame excuses, "I'm too busy with my career", "I want to follow my dream" and in the end it all ends up in the same empty place. Even if you achieve your dream, who cares if you wound up pushing poeple who love you aside?
People are way to wound up in the instant gratification stage of relationships when in reality long lasting realtionships are not about being exciting. The true test of a long lasting relatonship is weither you can enjoy even the most mundane things and times as long as your together.
That's not to say you should not try new things or bring some excitement into your lives but the reality is most of the time things will be mundane and boring. Look at the old and the elderly. They don't do to many things exciting together but being together is in itself a joy. It's a simple concept that has been lost amidst all the flash of todays TV generations.
It's not about being a nice guy, or a doormat, a jerk, a guy, girl, confident, good looking or any of that crap. In the end it's just plain about weither you can stomache the boring times couples will for sure have. Sure, certain qualities help you get in the door easier but in the end it all just comes down to being able to enjoy the mundane.
Seeing the skyrocketing divorce rates and the death of romance beyond anything but sex has plainly shown that so few have realized this. It's gotten to the point where it's not just couples who play, pick on and hurt each other but they also regard their own children in much the same manner.
Society is going down the tubes and for every "social advancement" we have made, we ignore two "new problems" that have popped up because of said "advancements". | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/20/2006 3:05:23 PM | Begs the question, can you be too honest on these date sites?
Won't change my attitude, as far as I am concerned honesty, loyalty, trust, personality all mean more than looks alone. always has done, always will do.
That means of course talking to people to get to know them in an open and honest manner.
You can be to honest on these sites xtrail47. I am sorry about your condition and wish you the best. its good you don't change your attitude stay the way you are and keep being honest. All ladies want a honest man until they hear somthing they don't like. good luck in life and in your dating. Don't worry i am not on any favourite lists either and i don't even have a condition. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/20/2006 4:27:10 PM | | because their are some of us out their who get off on being dumped, subconsiously. it's sick but its true. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/27/2006 6:56:20 PM | I think as we get older(yeah I know..speak for myself!!)lol..we know what we want in a potential mate and relationship...maybe we're drawing too many stipulations on what our mate should be like...I don't mean settle for someone that first comes along and shows interest...but maybe we need to realize there is no perfect mate...but there is someone out there you can relate to on many ..not all..specific things you are looking for..
Maybe thats why they say opposites attract? | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/27/2006 7:04:47 PM |
Because women love playing games...but some men will not stand for it
For every woman playing games, there is a man somewhere also playing games. | |
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| Why are so many of us single?
Posted: 12/28/2006 12:43:42 PM |
For every woman playing games, there is a man somewhere also playing games.
totally agree! | |
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