| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/7/2006 1:09:33 AM |
Just a thought: Guys with experience are not necessarily promiscous.
Yes if you read my post - that is exactly what what I was saying. Experience and promiscuous are two different things. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/7/2006 4:58:33 AM | crystalise ur point well taken,so many of us coud be a little
neurotic. the xperience,the wisdom of a person often come from a dubious
past--negativ from positiv,cant get around that one sometimes!
i'm a spiritual person so i consider all of
us all one consciousnes; or least sisters and brothers for those of u who
find it a littl hard to swallow. mostly i really dont care
who puts what where and to whom,,,,,,
not meaning i'm promiscuous, just not very jealous
some guys want women to pull all kinds of
gymnatics of pleasure,and then they shoud be virgins | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/8/2006 7:52:58 AM |
I understand that, but I still wouldn't like being asked to be tested. I know I don't have anything like that and would tell them I didn't if asked.
Know who you are with and use protection and you won't have to ask questions like that!!!
That’s nice to think…but many men don’t get symptoms so they don’t know they have anything, and many don’t get tested when they get their yearly physical…so they could pass something on and not know it…Also, don’t assume all men use condoms every time…they don’t. And even knowing who you’re with and using protection doesn’t guarantee something can’t get passed along unknowingly. Condoms do not protect against all STDs or all the time. Chlamydia is one of the most common STDs around, men and women usually have NO symptoms, and it can cause infertility…it’s much better to test for it than not.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/Chlamydia/STDFact-Chlamydia.htm
HPV is a group of viruses passed sexually and usually have no symptoms…they can cause cervical cancer in women. Checking for them during PAP smears, especially if one has had an ambiguous pap test in the past 6 months. I’m amazed, and a bit appalled, that people don’t know things like this since so much of it is out there and readily available, not to mention being in the news a lot.
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/HPV | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/8/2006 2:06:07 PM | Some men have ISSUES with women's past.
I take the don't ask policy. It's none of their business what I've done before I met them, and if they can't handle that, then I can't handle them. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 80 | |
| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/8/2006 3:41:00 PM | | Hmm, the thing that comes to mind is double standard. I don't think you owe any fella out there to get into specifics about your sex life. What's done is done, you can't go back. If he gets angry, he's not the one for you. He'll find other crap to get angry about and belittle you, to where you'll have no self esteem left. Those types of fellas, run don't walk! | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/25/2006 12:22:19 AM | Following my past experience I avoid talking about my past relationships as it made my ex - wife, ex-girlfriend jealous, angry. This type of anger certainly applies to women as well. I think some women in these posts failed to recognize that (or rather admit it).
When a man asks, he is intuitively feeling whether you are into him or into your past. He wants you to focus on him, not your past. He does not want to hear about it but he is trying to feel your passion with your past relationships. He gets angry when you show is a little sign of rememberance of your past, or still caring or enjoying these moments in memory.
It is not a good thing to talk about past relationships but if someone,for some reason, is contraint to do it, it should be a short talk.
In my case, I want to know about past relationships the very first time because it partly helps me get to know the person better, but never would I bring up the subject again. It serves no purpose and it certainly is not a topic I would enjoy because her relationship is about me and her (when I''find her), not the past. I am not sure how many caring people out there like to discuss their mates past relationships.
Another valid reason I ask about past relationships is I need to figure out if I am at risk here from STD. I only have one life to live and I am going to be careful about that. Some people have STD but they do not know it (yet). When you sleep with someone, you sleep with all the people that slept with that person which means that you catch everything that all these people had caught. There is NO reliable protection whatsoever. Imagine the odds of contracting something from someone who changes dates often. Yes, if I cared enough and liked the person and found out she's been around, chances are that I would prefer to leave before I get involved - I have done so before. It is upsetting.
Jealousy is very natural in people that care about their significant other. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/25/2006 12:36:01 AM | I take the don't ask policy. It's none of their business what I've done before I met them, and if they can't handle that, then I can't handle them.
You need to tell them if they are at risk or not. If you make someone contract a disease, it is a crime. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/25/2006 1:05:29 AM | First, you only need to tell him whatever you feel you should tell him.
Second, if he gets mad after you tell him, he's controling and insecure and obviously doesn't appreciate what he has in front of him presently.
Flee! To the hills! Make haste!
Godspeed,
-IPB | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/25/2006 3:07:22 AM | I have asked about a woman's past. I really don't care about details. I am not one of those guys that are concerned if he was bigger or smaller or whether he was better or worse. I really do not care. What I care about is that her answer fits into my view of what is appropriate for a relationship-material woman.
Your guy is probably similar. When you responded he faced a conflict "She does not meet my standard, but I still like her" The analyzing that followed was probably him trying to digest the information and frame it in a light that he does not have less respect for you. He either succeeds and moves on or he does not and the relationship will inevitably end. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/25/2006 3:24:19 AM | its none of their business
they ask because they are MENTAL.
some of them are immature. especially if they are under 30.
A man that is interested in you will want to know about you and that includes your past. A man that only cares about having a good time with you, most likely does not care about your past.
If someone asked you and you told them they are MENTAL, they'd think that you are mental and have something to hide,and they will lose some trust in you.
Always be kind, no need to be upset about it. If he gets upset, he's got a problem because the past is done with. Then call them MENTAL all right. He can then decide whether he should pursue the relationship or go, with dignity.
I admire upfront people, telling me the good and the bad, and I will always trust them and respect them. Nothing attracts me more than honesty and loyalty.
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/25/2006 4:46:04 AM | Why is he asking about your past what about his past? Like you said you're not a virgin and neither is he.
My ex played that double standard thing so many times.Myself I am not the jealous type so I guess as dumb as I am sometimes I think that everyone thinks the same way as I do. WRONG I think he is asking about your past for something to throw dirt around.
There is no dirt to throw here he knows you had a life before him and so did he if he's asking those questions now it will only get worse.
Get out now while the gettins good | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/25/2006 8:00:10 AM | The good men don't.
I can honestly say that a women couldn't tell me anything I would get upset about. That's not to say that she couldn't tell me things that would wind up being show stoppers. That's just normal right?
I have heard just about every story you can here in my divorced years. Nothing and I mean nothing surprises me anymore. I look for one thing above everything else. Honesty. I've found that if she is honest I can work around almost any other issue. There has only been one relationship that I was with an honest women and couldn't work around her issues.
Good luck in your search hun and don't compromise your values for anyone. Even if the end result is having no one. You will feel alot better about yourself and that's probably the time when the right one will come along.
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/25/2006 4:30:00 PM | Why do people insist on generalizing so much about the sexes?!
Not all men or women do the same things, or feel the same.
It's not a good idea for people to ask too many questions about past relationships.
I think the "general stuff" is good: Were you married? Was it a good relationship... maybe just enough to get some healthy insights into your potential partner's character.
It's not a good idea to ask all sorts of nosey questions about past sexual habits, etc.
Yes, we would like some reassurance that our potential partners are "clean and healthy." But that can be accomplished by showing test results. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 12/26/2006 12:21:29 PM |
A man that is interested in you will want to know about you and that includes your past. A man that only cares about having a good time with you, most likely does not care about your past.
The past is NOT about past intimacy and I never thought this thread was about that - I would never want to know about it at all. All I'd want to know is if the person was married, had relationships, has kids and some hints to know that I am safe (STD) being with her intimately.
I probably would not stick around if she ever brought up her past intimacy. I think a woman should not stick around a guy that asks her about past intimacy if he gets angry because it will not be the end of it. So run baby, run!!! | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 3/24/2007 3:11:14 PM | Here's a twist on this...why do women ask a man about his past and then get angry? Get for real people...this is not the Middle Ages and even then...women and men had pasts. Personally..I don't care who she was with..whether he was better than me or I better than him. If he did things to her that I don't...or I do things for her that her ex never did. All that counts is what we do for each other NOW. If I am asked..I tell her...it's all past and it stays there. I NEVER ask.
I know this is another topic, but, I was just wondering...I read a post earlier that was closed by the Moderator, stating the subject was redundant and over worked...it had to do with what women want from men...and it was a man's view....but...if a woman asks questions about Men..and Threads in here are a lot of MAN Bashing...why are they repeated and NOT Closed? | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 3/24/2007 3:16:22 PM | | if they cant handle it then i guess it doesnt make them much of a man.. let alone a person.. everyone has a past.whether it be good or bad...if they cant accept that part of life then i honestly think some part of them not ready to handle another person in their life ; ) | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 3/24/2007 7:08:39 PM | ^^^^I couldn't agree more. 
~OT~ My past may be a portion of who I am today ~ but I reinvent myself so often that who existed two years ago hasn't been seen in...well, probably two years. I stopped dwelling on the past when I was in my 20's. It is the past for a reason and that's where it stays.
I do talk about the good times from my past. Travels, my son's younger years, the people who enriched my life, and some of the family issues that came and went as the years have passed ~ but if someone starts wanting specifics about past sexual partners, past loves or loves lost, I generally stop the conversation immediately. Likewise, I don't give a crap about "his" past. Good God, I'm 42 ~ there is a LOT of past to muddle through and memories have changed (softened), the heartbreaks have long since healed and it's all really rather insignificant. Hence, why bother with it? He can either love who I am today ~ or move on. JMO  | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 3/24/2007 7:23:10 PM | I never have got mad when a girlfriend told me about their past.
I felt bad a few times when they told me about how bad their childhood was, but i was never angry.
Why would anyone be angry? Did you lie about the past?
Logically that would be the only reason someone would be angry, unless they are complete nutsbars.
Live and learn. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 3/24/2007 7:36:55 PM | What a cliche, "It doesn't matter what a person has done in thier past" I think we need to ascend to a different level of reality here. What people should say is that it doesn't normally matter, but there are limits.
However, getting angry about it is no way to deal with it. There are however things that people can say about their past that will alter how they percieve them. There was a thread today that was dealeted because of its content on a persons past. The past does make some difference. It is to say that in most cases we are the sum of our experiances. When other peoples experiances are much less then our own we lose that sense of familiarity. Most of us percieve that an individual is going to be somewhere on the same plain of existance as us, when that is challenged, it becomes harder to bond with them.
I will repeat however, anger is not a good way to deal with it, or anything for that matter. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 6/13/2007 4:48:16 PM | YOu are SO right! Listen up boys and girl, to my nearly 60 yrs of experience and still going.... An adult person is not going to change much. I'm a licensed therapist, degrees in Paychology, so I know this is the truth, due to personal and other's experience. The past of a person does predict the future. Jut likemost thieves remain thieves, and most liars remain liars, maybe only getting better at it as they age.
A man (or woman) seems to repeat the same mistakes over and over in relationships. IF you find a man who is controlling with you, he probably was with his exes as well. He's just trying out a new victim, hoping you'll put up with it instead of leave like they did.
Here's how I handle it: I've learned to ask leading questions, not direct ones. I listen and let him rave on, brag about himself, exaggerate, whatever. Expect him to be lying on at least some of it. But Take Notes. I mean really write things down (when he's not looking) and compare storeis later. Sooner or later a liar screws up. Keep taking those notes & you'll begin to see the truth come out. If it gets really bad, I've contacted ex wives and girlfriends and confirmed he was an ass with them, too.
I was engaged to a guy, planning the marriage for a couple of mo. away, and when he asked me to check on his house and pick up the mail while he was out of town, I saw an envelope come with a woman's name on it (not his ex I knew about but another one) using his last name. I started checking up and found out she had lived with him there, but now in another city 80 mi. away where he suppposedly had a rent house he worked on a couple of days a week. More checking in that city's records and it turns out she's living in that other house and they're married! | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 6/13/2007 4:51:06 PM | | Women DO have sypmptoms and the health problems, men carry it with no symptoms and carry it form woman to woman! Yuck! I kn ow becaesu it happened,but catch on to what's going on fast enough, kick him to the curb and get treatment and you're fine! | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:34:47 PM | well,as we get older we all have `history`,i guess the time to worry is where it takes several volumes to get it all down!
dont know about the anger thing,never come across it
thanks
john | |
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