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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 6/14/2007 7:43:21 PM | Because they are jealous! Jealous of not being able to participate in your past!!
I will not want to know the dating-related history of the guy I am dating, nor will I tell them mine. Because my future might depends on that.  | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:24:53 AM | They all want that "Lady in the streets, and a freak in the bed" type woman, nothing wrong with that.
Everyone should be tested for STDs, even if they have only been with one person their entire lives! Better to be safe than sorry!
And if someone asks about your past and then decides that's something he can't get past, so be it. It wasn't meant to be. You can't change the past and you shouldn't have to change who you are to be with someone. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 9/1/2007 10:49:26 AM | Heh, two questions about the past that would affect my opinion of us being in a relationship:
1) Have you 'acquired' any STD's (STI's?) in the past, of the "keeps on giving" type?
2) Are any barnyard animals involved in your sexual history? 
Other than that, I can't think of much else that would really matter... | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:08:38 AM | Well, it depends what sort of questions are asked and how people feel about those issues.
If a woman asks about a man's past and if he has always been completely honest with exes, and he says that in the past, he has chosen to lie about his intentions in order to get sex, but he does not do that anymore, she is likely to get angry, even if she has not been used in this way, as she can empathise with those women.
I would suggest that you realise that few people maintain a calm and honest demeanour in today's world.
If you choose to answer or not answer those questions, that is up to you. But a mature person accepts that life is not completely under our control, and neither are the people we meet.
It is a sign of maturity and strength in a person to accept that sometimes people get angry and to not take it as a personal attack, but as an indication of the other person's lack of maturity.
You have 2 choices:
1) Do not be honest or be evasive. In my experience, such people do not have success in their relationships.
2) Be honest, and accept that life and others are not fully under your control, and that some people get angry.
I would recommend the second choice, as that shows you are a woman who accepts people for who they are, and not for who you would like them to be.
You were lucky to have not had to learn this lesson in life, until now. But it is a lesson well worth learning.
That's my POV. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 9/1/2007 12:59:21 PM | | Maybe the men you have seen since your ex think you're going to be uptight or prude when it comes to sex and intimacy because you have only been with one man. It sounds like maybe you could find a guy with a little more depth of character. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 9/1/2007 3:39:36 PM | Asking about the past - depends on the motive,
1. For me - its an indicator of character and what I can expect.
2. Because I want to know all about them - because I care, and if I'm aware of the "landmines/sensitive issues" they don't then appear from nowhere to blow me up sometime later.
3. A sensitive man, may be looking for what turns you on,
BUT,
In this case, analyzing/ getting strange - angry in any way over something that has passed? Whoa - clanging fire alarm bells would be sounding off in my head - this is a control freak with a nasty streak as well, because he's looking for where you are vulnerable.....
ALSO
Has he, opened up equally? I would say not, probably playing his own cards - real close...for a reason... but to kiss and tell? yes, absolutely tacky. | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 9/2/2007 4:08:53 AM | They all want that "Lady in the streets, and a freak in the bed" type woman, nothing wrong with that.
I don't know...I usually have gone for the all around freakazoid...ditto psycho...I generally don't ask much about their past...and they don't inquire likewise about me...In this type of scenario, you're going to find out about one another sooner or later anyway!!!! | |
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| Why do men ask about you past and then get angry
Posted: 9/2/2007 4:42:10 AM | it's not just the things you did in your past that troubles him.
but the way you talk about it now, like it's no big deal, or maybe not enough of a big deal.
and the stuff you hide is even 10 times worse than your confessions.
to tell them it's none of their business is untrue, unless you're not in love.
your past is the business of your new potential mate, because your past is who you are.
the situations that arose in your life to form lessons for you to learn from, and how you grew or stopped growing due to those experiences.
if you talk about the 30 guys you loved before him,
or maybe there was only 1 that you couldn't get over,
all these stories will disturb any man,
not just for the content of your past
but because you were a female handling those scenarios
and it is very hard for a man to step into the shoes of a woman, he simply cannot understand the exact feelings or thoughts you had- and people fear what they don't understand.
so it is common for them to "get angry" or overly concerned, however, just because it's a fact that he cannot fathom the mystery of womanhood instantly, that doesn't mean that he won't come to understand after a few hours, or days, to digest what you've told him, and then to try to analyze it and extract it's true meaning, over time.
and that is exactly what a good man will do, he'll learn to love you for the mistakes you've made, or accidents that have troubled you in the past.
and if you need to know the reason why it takes a good man a few hours or days to process the mystery of your past, it is because in the early stages of a relationship, he is trying to love you for who you are now, and he needs for you to be a "good" person in his eyes worthy of his adoration.
and, he wants you to love him for being a man, so he has to answer for himself what it is about his manhood that you love, and he's trying to fill that role.
and while his mind is filled with this reflection in your eyes of his manhood, it is very hard for him to change his mindset into female, where he would relate with your stories better- so he typically freaks out, but later when you are apart and he's by himself and not trying to project his manhood for you to love, then he'll be able to catch a glimpse of the truth of what happened in your old stories.
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