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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 12/23/2006 8:43:48 AM | Well it all depends on your lifestyle. If you speak with a slang or just have no manners. If you have no job and still live in your parents house then yes you are going to have no chance. I have been having absolutely no luck with women for the fact that they have a no idea what honesty really is. When you ask about drugs or heavy drinking they "Never" but then it all comes out and thats a deal breaker. I am a nice guy and just been having no luck. I have signed up on this site to keep my options open and so far I have had no results. I am not giving up hope of feel that I am finishing last just waiting for her to show up. No website or forum can give me or her what we are looking for. Problem is with these sites are that everyone gets too comfortable looking for a mate online and when it comes to actually meeting face to face thats when you have a brain fart. You actually lose confidence in yourself. Yes it is a Saturday and I have nothing planned tonight or even for the New Years but I am still hopeful. Loney but still hopeful in finding her. We should always keep our otions open and not be so picky. If you are lonely or single then why be picky? Everyone has little quirks about them but that makes them!
The answer to the questions is No nice guys dont finish last! Just a slow second. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 12/23/2006 12:06:47 PM | whats up i feel where ur coming from, u said it it feels yea u have ur family and friends, but u need a girl 2 complete everything, honestly not 2 sound gay but i shedded a tear or 2 when i read ur comment, i hear u ever step of the way, i was telling my best friend that its the holidays i hear all these christmas love songs and it makes me sad, well i live in long island the girls r much worse here than they r in the bronx, there r more down 2 earth girls there than they r here, just wanted 2 say that i'm on ur side and i'm hear if u wanna send a comment bro | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 12/23/2006 1:20:51 PM | good guys should get the girls but they don't, the movies say that, and it was like that back in the day but not anymore, i'm a goodlooking guy 2 not 2 brag, still whether ur and ugly good guy or a hot good guy, the point is if ur a good guy ur gonna get a hard time from girls, i think i get mislead more than anything, i have girls acting like they like me than they act like they want nothing 2 do with me, girls might think guys r psyco 4 yelling about****ng them over, 4 example i've met girls on here and i talk 2 them 4 a while one day there saying u seem like such a sweet guy have a goodnight i like talking 2 u they'll type in xoxo, the next day u send them a message and u c that they read ur message but don't reply, if i c that the message was unread and its been a few days its understandable they she was busy, but if read a message there is no excuse 4 not righting back, we'll i always give people the benefit of the doubt, so i wo'nt say anything the first time but, i'll send back 1 more message being nice and ask them y havent u responded, but even when i do that, i look on my computer the next day or a few days lata no response from that girl u were hitting off with and u seemed 2 like her, u c the other message u sent her READ that is frustrating, if ur gonna ignore me just block me or just say ur not interested, its not like she has 2 c my face everday or deal with me, the second time i will be and ***hole about it, i don't want 2 b but i don't want them taking my kindness 4 weakness anymore than i notice they'll respond after i was mean, so that tells u girls toy with nice guys, they mess with there heads, they wanna turn us good guys into pricks, well i'm not gonna change when i meet the one, lets just say in every relationship there r arguments, but she will never have 2 worry about any abuse,i've never hit a girl or threatened a girl and i never will, i hold the door open 4 them i was raised 2 b a gentlemen 2 a girl, but really hasn't seemed 2 b working, i'm also quiet at times, but when i meet the right one shes gonna b a very lucky girl  | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 12/23/2006 3:19:36 PM | Your philosophy is sort of like the one I had when I was 24 (assuming that is your age) basically my view then was that all women were waiting for their prince charming and would stay with him once they found him. 10 years later I am no so sure that "all" would be the accurate qualifier. I would say "some" and that would change based on what the woman has experienced. I have friends who have radically different views from mine with whom I have big arguments with over this topic. In their view women are all "huaas" and it is only a matter of time and effort to get them to show their true colors. These guys list out story after story of how they caught women doing dishonest things and because of that felt entitled to pay them back. The cycle of lies and cheating leads to all sorts of messed up situations. Later when they break up, many women hide their past from the new guys they meet but they keep the new mindset of being constantly doubtful of the guys. If they are "nice guys" the fact that they may be sincere is irrelevant since the woman is viewing them through spectacles of their past pains. Eventually, "nice guy" goes for a ride and might end up becoming a dog as a result, it's a cycle of dogged women, meeting nice guys and dogging them , who become dogs to go and dog out other women (who may or may not have been nice before meeting them)..it's a disease of deception. I think the way to avoid the issues are to 1) never settle. If you are serious about finding the right one you have to keep your standards, when you slack you end up in a situation that is not happy. I was in a relationship for 5 years with a girl I met online, we lived together 1 year after she graduated college. Within 5 months of starting to work at a new job she told me she fell out of love with me and that she wanted to be independent. Turns out a male coworker was putting the bug in her ear (and possibly putting other things in) she moved out and told me she was living with a female friend but I have pretty sure that was a lie. She then disappeared for nearly 6 months, in fact she still has a ton of her stuff at my place and I haven't heard from her in months, the last email I received was from 2 months ago, she was hoping I didn't throw out her stuff (I didn't I am not a vindictive ***hole) Turns out she got pregnant by this coworker and had a baby in August! Now, strange thing about this whole situation is that when she told me she wanted to move out, I was deep down happy, I had felt from the beginning that although she was nice and relatively smart, she wasn't exactly what I needed in a mate, however being the ever rational guy, I thought that if I could settle it was worth it...well I guess she was feeling the same way. So whatever you do don't settle! 2) Sexual past is the past. In order to save yourself from thinking you are dating a whore, never ask about a girls sexual past. First, most likely she will lie to keep you from knowing just how free she might have been in the past. Secondly, if you find out something you don't want to, it may put the kibosh on the entire relationship. Guys like to believe that their girl was "pure" in one way or another before she met them and though this is a nice thing to think, it is almost never the case for girls past 21 so get over it, in fact girls with some sexual experience could be exactly what you do need just don't ask pointed questions like "have you ever taken it in the a$$".3) Date girls that have compatible interests as you, believe it or not this can become important but only over time. You start wishing for someone who can maybe enjoy your work with you, or someone that likes to work out like you do, common interests are fuel for a lasting relationship, so the more you have the more likely the relationship will be stable and long lasting. You might be attracted to the girl with the nice round ass that wants to be an actress but there will be little of interest between you if you are a computer geek.
I do think it's possible for nice guys to get "the" girl they want but it takes a little work, a lot of patience to make happen. Along the way you gather valuable experience that helps you in the next adventure, so no matter how much hurt was involved in a past relationship always learn to avoid making the same mistakes later on.
Much success on your quest! | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 12/31/2006 11:25:54 AM | A lot of what every one said here are telling the truth. It does take confidence. You do have to be mean and play with a woman's mind and emotions to get her. And you do have to look a certain way. And you know what is funny, most of them will tell you they are not looking for someone who play games, when they have already set the rules of the game.
No is not necessarily do the good guys get the girl, because both good and bad do. But, it is what can a guy do who does not have that much confidence, because he have never had the opportunity to build that confidence get the girl? Are you willing to drop your standards and call women out of their names, poison your body with alcohol, cigarettes and/or drugs, dress according to what the world considers in or good or styling, and/or willing to put up a false bravodo of I will kick everyone's but that so much looks at me or she the wrong way attitude? The matter is everyone is playing a game. The bad guy/gal and the good guy/gal. And some know how to play it better than others. I am one of those who don't know how to play the game because I don't considered anyone I have dated a game or particularly the type of woman I would want to date again. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 12/31/2006 11:31:20 AM | | NEVER. Women get what they ASK for then go CRY on Oprah...I'm not trying to be mean just truthful. :( | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 12/31/2006 3:06:09 PM | While it appears that the "good" guys don't get the girl, it is not exactly true. Women experience same problem. The good girl doesn't get the guy. Perhaps the reason that we are not getting the "good guy" is because he is too busy chasing the mini-skirted, teeny bopper, big hair bimbo rather than the conservatively dressed, cute female with brains. In doing so, you get what you pay for...cheap sex, short term relationships with cheap women. In the meantime, your ego and self esteem are destroyed by these non committal, ignorant women. Ultimately you stereotype women and think they are all the same.
I assure you we are not. I've had similar experiences with men.
To make things worst, as human nature would have it, we end up making the same mistakes over and over again until we make a concious effort to STOP. We continue to go after the big hair bimbo or the bad boy. Well, my friends, Here's a thought: Try making a list of the qualities you are looking for and then go for it. Stop looking for the Cheap woman or Bad boy and look for someone mature and stable. Someone that will fit your personality, your lifestyle and someone who will be passionate about the same things you are interested in. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:45:56 AM | | Why do so many people call dating a "game"? Maybe that's why I haven't found "the one" for me yet... because I DON'T see it as a game. I meet people, talk to them, see if we have common interests and if there's a sense of chemistry. If not, no harm no foul. If so, let's give it a try. I don't want to date 3, 4, 5... men at once and make them all chase their tails. I'd like to find one man who is willing to take the time to get to know each other and see what develops. I find too many men who get scared and run when I say, "relationship." That simply means I'm not interested in sleeping around, but finding one person to be with. It doesn't mean I'm looking to move in with you or go shopping for a ring! | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:08:04 AM | Ok guys and girls, the answer is simple. You have to be both. sad though it is, it's human nature to desire what you can't have. When you can't seem to win a man's loyalty, affections and respect you just want it more. If a man is too nice and is always willing to give you whatever yu want unconditionally then there's no perceived challenge and it gets boring. I think the answer is a balance of both. A man should always be a genleman, but never a pushover.
Thats my humble opinion anyway. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/2/2007 11:02:32 AM | Unfortunately in my young age I have found one thing to be universally true, at least in my experience which is not invariably true throughout the universe... only true in my experience
through it all I have found this... my life will be spent enduring tragedy and bettering myself not through the roads most travelled but through the roads which are harder to traverse. My choices will always be my own, and my life will also remain that way.
While I would love for a women to come along who embodied everything I desire I have come to accept that its possiblew but highly unlikely, if I find a mate in this life that can help me realize life and its hidden truths through her yin to my yang then the merrier I will be, but I will not waste this precious life moping, and groaning and whining because I can't satiate my inner desires... a life lived in pursuit of frivalous desire is a life wasted if you ask me... | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/2/2007 11:18:53 AM | | I have an idea.When you meet people,think of them as a phone book.Pick a number(woman)and strike up conversation.If she doesnt respond,shes the wrong number. I personally would love to chat with you,,,,I for one am a people person,theres no such thing as a boring person,or a geek,or a jock,,,,,those are just titles people with low IQs place on others.I see no clor when i talk to people.Never say your off better alone,the more you think that way,some day it might come true.Be positive.And dont give a rats ass what the babrbies are saying either,,,,where would she be with out KEN.............. | |
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THECOP
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Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 38 | |
| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/2/2007 2:46:54 PM | | I recently meet a lady who spent our first date telling me what she wanted so I told her I am the man she is looking for..after a month of dating and she telling me what a great guy I was what a great catch I was then she calls me and tells me she needs SPACE!!!!!!!!! so I said good-bye and so good guys don't get the girl I recently found out she loves hanging out with the guys from the GYM she goes to the very same guys she said were JERKS well these jerk get the girl and as for me a lesson learned I'll stay home and as for dating I'll let the jerk have it....I'll stay by myself....... | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/2/2007 9:13:10 PM | Well, heres my two cents and no more....lol...after reading ur question...i've come to the conclusion that theres a difference between being a nice guy, and having manners....nice guys have manners, and ***holes have manners. but ***holes aren't nice guys, go figure.
If your looking for arm candy, it says something about you and guess what? Arm candy with an ***hole with manners goes further then arm candy with a nice guy with manners..(remember the ***hole/manners senario?) So I think your gonna have to figure out how to balance being a nice guy with manners mixed in with a little bit of ***hole....It keeps the ladies guessing and makes you a little unpredictable. because irregardless of the BS that ladies tell you...they'll never stay in a boring, dull, humdrum, Mr. Nice Guy, Boring, (did i say that already?) predictable, relationship no matter how well mannered you are.  So liven up, get out, and stop trying to find Ms Right (or Ms. Right now) here on a computer, because quite frankly, a man or a woman can say or be anything they want behind a screen. Welcome to the real world. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 5:49:32 AM | | any male with a pretty face, and thinks they are God's gift to woman, have a pretty darn good chance of getting the girl yes. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 6:13:48 AM | any male with a pretty face, and thinks they are God's gift to woman, have a pretty darn good chance of getting the girl yes.
I sooo dont go for men that thinks they are Gods gift... No thanks | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 7:29:42 AM | | Honestly coming from a woman, girls do want the good guys because they are sweet and nice and what not. But also at the same time, we like the bad guys, because its a rebelous thing... plus i have found that more "bad" guys will just come out and ask you to go out or kiss or whatever, where as the nice guys dont really make the moves first, and i hate when a guy wont take action. Thats my opinion on that. =] | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:03:32 AM |
Honestly coming from a woman, girls do want the good guys because they are sweet and nice and what not. But also at the same time, we like the bad guys, because its a rebelous thing... plus i have found that more "bad" guys will just come out and ask you to go out or kiss or whatever, where as the nice guys dont really make the moves first, and i hate when a guy wont take action. Thats my opinion on that. =]
why does the guy have to always make the first move? 
its the 21st century people, what happened to equal rights? i'm not saying the girl should always do it, it should be equal, but if you want a hug or kiss, etal. then take it, most guys won't be averse to that. but you can't leave a guy hangin when you want him do to something and are giving out your "signals" that only other girls can see  | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:35:20 AM | | lol...hikouka71 is that what you thought i would be upset about... lol. I totally agree with you that girls should take the actino too... but in my case, i am shy when it comes to that.. adn if i really like someone i am afraid of rejection, so i wont make the move, cause what if the move isnt wanted on the other side? ya know. I have been rejected so many times, that now i just wait for the guy to do it, make the move. Plus it makes me more relaxed. When i am with someone, i will make the move all the time, i dont mind that.. but the first kiss, cant do it.. im a chicken i guess lol. Thanks for the emails. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:55:37 AM | Didn't think you'd be upset lol just makin sure you understood the point of my post.
I know what you mean by being afraid of rejection, I've never been good at reading girls so never knew when it was a good or appropriate time for various things like hand touch, hug, kiss, etc. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:13:39 AM | | exactly, sometimes you feel liek the other person wants you to,but yet you arnt 100% sure and that is scary... cause what if you make the move and then... nothing. SCARY | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:56:01 AM | Do good guys get the girl. Age old question I suppose as a general rule I'm afraid the answer is no. Yes women like to say otherwise, and yes women like to say its the mens fault too. Still there are simple truths involved that say regardless what an individual's belief about their nature is things just aren't happening as they should. Divorce rates are up, domestic violence up, single parenting up etc. All the signs that the wrong people are being sucessful and the good people aren't.
Sounds bitter and jaded I know but there is a solution. Men and Women start really looking at what your criterias are, pay attention to what is going on around you and stop just looking at the pretty faces, or the ocassional nice gesture. See what people are acutally doing and how they interact with those around them.. Actually date and get to know someone, and realize that if they seem like a jerk they probably are and you aren't going to change them. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 11:32:29 AM | | Absolutely, positively no! David Deangelo is making a killing showing guys how to be C&F (cocky and funny) and that, along with a little self-confidence, smarts, some money, half-way decent looks and let's see.......maybe having some "skills" will get you in the door. Doesn't guarantee anything, but you've got to have game. Nice is boring! The interesting question is, once you get them, how do you keep them - by being nice, or continuing to be a bad boy? I think you've got to remain interesting, otherwise even people in committed long term relationships (with kids) can leave. | |
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 11:38:07 AM |
Sounds bitter and jaded I know but there is a solution. Men and Women start really looking at what your criterias are, pay attention to what is going on around you and stop just looking at the pretty faces, or the ocassional nice gesture. See what people are acutally doing and how they interact with those around them.. Actually date and get to know someone, and realize that if they seem like a jerk they probably are and you aren't going to change them.
Good idea, but not often found in practice, I see it more with girls (going out with jerks) I have a friend now, there was this guy that was super creepy and almost started a fight with another guy she was with on halloween, couple weeks later at same bar he's staring at our group of friends the whole night like some kinda psycho, well come to find out she talked to him outside that night and gave him her number and now he's hangin out with her, guys not on the up and up, but she doesn't listen when you tell her that, i've seen it happen innumerable times, never makes any sense. have a buddy who's nuts about a girl who seems to like him, they both know it, yet she strings him along and doesn't let it go anywhere 'cause of age/child issues but won't cut it off. i've advised him to give it a rest and look somewhere else for awhile rather than beat himself up over it, but you can guess how long that lasts
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| do good guys get the girl?
Posted: 1/3/2007 12:05:39 PM | | Hi, "Wings". I relate to you 100%. After more than 100 supposed "matches" on another well-known site, I finally had a date with a guy who seemed like just who I've been hoping for. He was funny, smart, charming, sexy. I was thrilled! The second date went equally well (I thought...). Suddenly, he's never around. Never calls. (Yes, I tried calling him-- no call back.) I seriously doubt my not making a move was too blame. More likely, he found someone younger, or hotter looking... who knows? My point is, it goes both ways, guys. We "nice" girls who don't want to crush your heart are gun-shy because of experiences like this. Please, let us know if you really like us, or if you really don't. | |
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