| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 3/13/2007 9:22:01 AM | It is a good topic for discussion Miragey but I think people keep getting confused about what is Behavior or Character and what is good manners. Most players? They have GREAT Manners. They say the right things, act the right way, smile and nod and are agreeable and likeable at first. They know all the strings to pull and all the right moves.
Pull out the chair? check.
Open the door for her? check.
Tell her what she wants to hear? check.
Agree with her about almost everything? check.
Do or say anything they have to so that the other person is hooked? check.
Do that with a bunch of different people without any one of them knowing? check.
Ya see, the nice guy does a few of those things because it is good etiquette. However a nice guy:
- Tells you the truth even when it hurts, but is there to help you sort through things.
- Doesn't just talk with you when it's convenient for them, but will call or sit there with you even at the worst times.
- Actually listens to you and interacts in conversation.
- Doesn't act or put up a front. Is himself for better or worse.
- Doesn't try to impress anyone. Just acts like himself.
- Is sensitive towards the feelings of everyone around him.
- Does not have hidden agendas.
- Does not lie. | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 3/13/2007 10:26:26 AM | ... and some nice guys sign up for POF, hang around for a year, and still don't get a bite.  | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:27:05 AM | Thank you the clarifaction Mirage9
Now to add my 2 cents, speaking from experience :
I have mentioned a similar question to most of my female friends (some being married) this is what I was told.(outside of this site)
"Your a nice decent guy but your to good to be true ."
Guess it a case of dammed if ya do dammed if ya don't. So the old saying nice guys finish last is true. | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:09:56 PM | define 'nice'
nice (ns)
adj. nic·er, nic·est
1. Pleasing and agreeable in nature: had a nice time.
2. Having a pleasant or attractive appearance: a nice dress; a nice face.
3. Exhibiting courtesy and politeness: a nice gesture.
4. Of good character and reputation; respectable.
5. Overdelicate or fastidious; fussy.
6. Showing or requiring great precision or sensitive discernment; subtle: a nice distinction; a nice sense of style.
7. Done with delicacy and skill: a nice bit of craft.
8. Used as an intensive with and: nice and warm.
9. Obsolete
a. Wanton; profligate: "For when mine hours/Were nice and lucky, men did ransom lives/Of me for jests" Shakespeare.
b. Affectedly modest; coy: "Ere . . . /The nice Morn on th' Indian steep,/From her cabin'd loop-hole peep" John Milton.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/nice
quantify 'nice'
- nice shirt
- nice hair
- nice smile nice eyes
- nice a$$
- nice manners
Even if someone is nice, seems to display nice charateristics and traits, does that mean they are right for you? Assuming you are nice, are you right for them?
Actions speak louder than words, and consistent actions speak volumes.
If you are 'nice' and you finished last, are you admitting that you are finished? | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:21:09 AM | | Here's how you spot a nice guy: He doesn't try to dress or act like 50 Cent or Eminem, He doesn't drive a hot sports car or motor cycle (because all he doesn't need to boos up and show off his "man hood"), he has the class to be up front about his intentions with you, and most of all: he doesn't get you excited in the first place (the bad boys do this because they are good at emotionally manipulating women). | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:11:22 AM | Why do they think they said about nice guys finishing last, if they finish at all.
Some "nice guys" try and be themselves, honest, caring, empathetic, sympathetic, always there, and often they get stepped on and taken for granted more than the players. People do take advantage of nice guys because people know they will be there at the snap of a finger, and will never play games or deceive others.
By some of the posts and the profiles I see on POF, I get the impression that nice guys are lonely, they can't get the ladies to notice them, because some people don't care about "nice" as much as looks, body, height, job etc.... | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:41:56 PM | Dante... I read through most of this thread, and I would say I agree with your post the most.... but having many male friends, the most common things I tell them are:
- be honest, tell the truth, yes... and that means your OWN truth too... don't be a doormat.
- be sensitive to her needs, of course ... but also make sure she is sensitive to your needs too
- listen AND interract (I like that one)... so many people just don't get this one... communication is ESSENTIAL.... so, if you like someone, want to ask them out... do so - the worst he/she can say is 'no'
- be true to who YOU are... be yourself, yes.... but also, don't compromise who you are just to be with someone... that is not healthy for either of you.
- have the confidence to make an impression.... the most attractive thing, in study after study...... CONFIDENCE! | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:13:01 PM | Well now not all of us Nice Guys are finishing last if your wondering.
I for one am one of those nice guys your all knocking around . But being a nice guy I can take the heat and keep on being me. Yep sure lots of you ladies will fall for the players and sure when you get burned you then blame all men .
And yeah I read what dante posted about nice guys and it sounds like he's talking about me !LOL
Now a word of advise about nice guys ladies and that is.
We nice guys can wait till your done being hurt & getting your hearts busted by them players and when your ready for one of us nice guys we will still be here waiting !
Oh sure it might be boring waiting but if we want the best lady for us then we don't mind the wait . Its just how long you ladies are gonna put up with the players that makes us wonder!! | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:48:21 PM | Just remember that nice people and players come in both genders, neither has claim to one or the other. The nice guys once or twice burnt are going to be cautious the same as a lady who experienced the same wounds.
You may have to look a little harder for the nice people that have been burned more than once. | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/2/2007 11:05:35 AM | | Well, the only way to spot a really "nice guy" is to see how he treats his mother! Or learn about the relationship he has/had with his mother, then you'll know how you will be treated in return! And, I so agree about how men are "nice" at first, then their true colors come out, ladies, we need to watch out for the charmers, they are the ones who suck us in and then lie to us, cheat on us, bully us! I've yet to find a really nice guy, not sure they exist anymore!! LOL | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/2/2007 11:06:55 AM | Oh so very well said! You know what you're talking about!! Where can I find this nice guy???
;-) | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/2/2007 11:30:42 AM |
Well, the only way to spot a really "nice guy" is to see how he treats his mother! Or learn about the relationship he has/had with his mother, then you'll know how you will be treated in return! And, I so agree about how men are "nice" at first, then their true colors come out, ladies, we need to watch out for the charmers, they are the ones who suck us in and then lie to us, cheat on us, bully us! I've yet to find a really nice guy, not sure they exist anymore!! LOL
That is the biggest crock of shit I've ever read, period.
Someones relationship with a parent doesn't constitute judgement on ones' self.
I didn't have a great relationship with my mother at all, but that has no baring at all as to the type of person I am. Now we get along fine, but that's years after the damage was done.
If anything, the relationship I had with my mother has made me shape how I think a family should be, and it's not what I went through with her back then.
As for the comment about nice guys are like that at first but then the true colors come out after? Sooooo, I guess that's painting all guys with the same brush? God when will it end... Yes we exist, I've never cheated but have been cheated on, time and time again, been emotinally manipulated, physically abused (it's not like I legally could have decked her back), so what is this about nice guys not being around? Puuuuulease. | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/2/2007 1:14:17 PM | | Like Kobe said, there are nice guys around, some very nice ones in fact...doesnt mean anything about how they treat their mom....its about how they treat you and you treat them....I never paint anyone the same for we are all different...thats what makes us great.....besides, a nice guy isnt going to be any different than who he really is. | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/2/2007 5:06:16 PM |
He doesn't drive a hot sports car or motor cycle (because all he doesn't need to boos up and show off his "man hood"), he has the class to be up front about his intentions with you, and most of all: he doesn't get you excited in the first place (the bad boys do this because they are good at emotionally manipulating women).
What does all of this have to do with being a "nice guy"
As for the "nice to his Mother" comment, I disagree as well, you cannot judge one by their past relationships with their Parents!!!
A nice guy is one who is open and honest, no more no less!
Yes even "bad boys" can be "nice guys", as much as "bad girls" can be "nice girls". | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/3/2007 5:20:26 PM | | A nice guy will walk ahead of you when its snowing and cut tracks in the snow so you have a path to walk through :-) | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:08:15 AM | i just look in the mirror !!! muahahahahahaha  sorry couldn’t resist that one. etiquette is one way to judge a man but its not everything. I surprised a young lady the other day with some seating etiquette. She didn’t know that when seated with one chair facing the wall and the other facing the room its proper for the man to face the wall. Not like it helped me score points... i just like knowing useless stuff | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/4/2007 10:13:51 AM | Wow, you still sound as if you have an issue going on..sorry! And, the way you replied to my post tells me you probably don't have any respect towards women??? It's guys like you, that still seem angry, that we avoid. I've learned how to spot a nice guy, and I don't think you are one of em. Don't be mean or a hater... WE are just here to post our opinions not refer to people's opinions as a "crock of shit".. that's for the heads-up.
Good luck to you! | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/4/2007 2:59:38 PM | There is no way to know if he's a nice guy until you know him...Try simply asking this...are you a nice guy? Chances are he'll jump at "yes". Ok then, tell me honestly, what makes you think you are a nice guy? All of a sudden, only the nice guys are left standing, and will honestly tell you what they believe makes them a nice guy...if a guy lies it will show real quick if you continue chatting with him...my belief: you can not fake this, it is part of who you are...and we do indeed finish last!!!
Just smile, and move on... | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/4/2007 5:00:56 PM | Wow, you still sound as if you have an issue going on..sorry! And, the way you replied to my post tells me you probably don't have any respect towards women??? It's guys like you, that still seem angry, that we avoid. I've learned how to spot a nice guy, and I don't think you are one of em. Don't be mean or a hater... WE are just here to post our opinions not refer to people's opinions as a "crock of shit".. that's for the heads-up.
Good luck to you!
Okay, you may not think I'm a nice guy, that's your opinion, but I have news (I always seem to have news). What makes me not a nice a guy? Because I'm up front and tell it like it is? People are under the impression that nice guys are really weak, which is quite untrue, there's nothing wrong with someone who does show respect where it's deserved, but your comments as to how you judge a person based on something you would know nothing about is rediculous period. I'm not going to take back what I said, and if you ask around these parts, you'll quickly find out that yes I am respected and appreciated by females regardless of your opinion of me, I know and they know I'm a nice guy, I just have a backbone and I'm not afraid to stand up for the rest of us nice guys.
Oh and no luck needed, thanks anyways, I'm quite happy with who I'm with.
I wasn't trying to take shots at you as in your character, I don't know you, I was just replying to exactly what you posted, nothing more, nothing less.
PS, it's easier to figure out who you're replying to when you quote them...
Put
[ quote ] then select all the text that you want to quote then to end the quote put [/ quote ] no spaces between the [ and quote ] or [/ quote ].
Just thought I would help you out. It's on the right side of the page when you're typing in the forum above the emotes. | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/5/2007 9:16:36 AM | ^^^^ and him helping u at the end, that would be an example of a nice guy. 
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Mayor
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Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 324 | |
| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/5/2007 9:40:32 AM |
Well, the only way to spot a really "nice guy" is to see how he treats his mother! Or learn about the relationship he has/had with his mother, then you'll know how you will be treated in return! And, I so agree about how men are "nice" at first, then their true colors come out, ladies, we need to watch out for the charmers, they are the ones who suck us in and then lie to us, cheat on us, bully us! I've yet to find a really nice guy, not sure they exist anymore!! LOL
Lmao, I still working on how Kobe has the issues?
I've yet to find a really nice guy, not sure they exist anymore!!
no such thing , run away real fast | |
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| how to spot a nice guy!
Posted: 12/5/2007 10:01:04 AM | I think this has been discussed to death. Are we done yet?
When you meet who you are meant to meet, they will be the eternal "nice guy" or girl, depending. Until such time, be prepared to run into just about everyone else.  | |
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