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Srooc
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Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 30 | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/12/2006 6:12:53 PM | Well...not everyone is attracted to the same kind of looks...right? And looks are only one part of what might attract someone to a particular person! If someone is intelligent...funny...positive...smells great etc then they might attract someone and the looks might grow on the person...make sense?
A girl in my course is attracted to guys who are chubby...she is quite pretty and thin, but wouldn't give the time of day to a skinny man. I personally am attracted to guys who are muscular and well built, but not thin guys...We all have our preferences in the looks department...but you never know whose personality or other qualities might attract you!
Yeah...looks are a part of the whole equation...but not the whole answer!
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Srooc
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Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 33 | |
| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/12/2006 6:20:04 PM | | Ok so hypothetical question for you Notta..................... you see a guy across the crowded dance floor at the Pal...... he is muscular and well built, but his face looks like a pizza pop exploded on it what do you do, if he comes up and hits on you, and you find out he has a great personality? | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/12/2006 7:12:06 PM | I would have to agree with Notta here...everyone has their own things they are attracted to.
Having been rejected many times ..it's all good, differant stokes for differant folks. If someone is interested in me & I am not to them I have been always very tact & try not to cause more hurt as I'm sure we've all been hurt in the past.
However there are those who just don't take a suttle kindly "not interested" and then WTF?
Sessieloubob had many good saying..like "smell my fingers" or as Smartie said "NEXT".
Positive attitude and the beleif that in time we all will meet that someone who just knocks our socks off is what keeps me going.
Unread deletes still kind of bug me but once again it really does speak volumes about how that person is & why would anyone want to waste time on such uncareing selfish folk?
Many have visions of grandure about finding their next mate, but problem is of course there are many who are only here for one thing... . and who they step on along the way is of no concern to these people.
May each & every fishie here have a wonderful holiday season filled with peace & joy.
Here's hopeing each of us finds who it is that'll make us feel happy & full of life once again.
  
Spunky | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/12/2006 7:33:19 PM | Well I hate rejection....SO DON'T !!
Please note my post regarding one of the most common of cliches used "You are a nice guy/girl but....." under the "Nice guy" post
I have had to reject people who didn't deserve even an explanation...I have had to reject people who it hurt very much to reject....and no amount of explaining or trying to ease it through helped......
Most the time I have found after just one contact most people just don't bother if no effort is made to continue the friendship....so what!! who cares!! Next!
There are times when I wonder what is going on in someone's head...but it doesn't keep me up at night. For example, quite awhile back I went out with a lady, who her and I had a blast considering it was our first meeting. I tried to keep in touch because though i felt there might not be any long term romance chemistry there was lots of indication of a sustained friendship.
After a couple of unreturned messages, I just let things ride ..."oh well...too bad ...so sad" however a couple of times this person has appeared at POF functions and acts like I am invisible.....and well I just shrug my shoulders.....but it becomes one of those things that just make me go " hmmmm???"" | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/12/2006 8:28:26 PM | Yep: A lot of variables. Like  and  and the all too classic 2 AM question?
Hey where did all the ugly women go?
Reverse it. You see a woman who is drop dead gorgeous and has a body like a rocket, But the personality of a wet mop. The bar is definately not the place to make the determination. | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/13/2006 12:40:06 AM | Orangerum.... that was you..???? Opps.. but I IM"d another profile ...
Hey........... that was you ? Wasn't it !!!
"Mistress Lacey & Leather...looking for bad boys...!!!
I was banned so I thought that qualified for a "bad boy"... but , but you said your spanking schedule was full... the only opening was after 9pm thurs.... ( nice shot..btw )
Notta dug herself in a corner with a pizza faced muscle man...lol.
Yes folks it's alot shallow here in the pond as well as else where....
Initially and sometimes longer.
Those that have been ..."blessed" with haveing a brain dead, characterless hottie on thier arm.... know better. While a physical attraction is still important ( there is scientific proof men are more "visually" ...ummm observant) .. Those of us with the above mentioned experience "search" for a warm heart and other personality traits that hold a very, very close second to physical / visual ....ummm observations... ( safe )..
RICH... and all bets are off....   | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/13/2006 3:52:23 AM | I didn't dig myself in any corner...like I said I couldn't make a determination one way or another. I don't ever go home with strangers from a bar so that wouldn't really matter anyway. Not including the people I've met at the few POF functions I've attended, I've met less than a handful of guys from online. I prefer to get to know someone and then meet. (I am anything but shallow...have alot of life experience and use it to my advantage. Am I attracted to certain types rather than others...definitely yes...but that is about preference nothing to do with being shallow. Ever notice that the people who accuse others of being shallow over looks seem to be bitter individuals? Just a thought...if you PREFER a certain type (say athletic) then perhaps you have to become that type to attract that type(Ms Athletic deosn't want to date Mr Sarcasm or Mr Couch Potato!) ...or you can change your dating preferences...
Just because someone is a hottie does not automatically make them brain dead...I think it is a funny generalization because it seems to be the people who maybe don't see themselves as 'hot' in a mainstream way who say stuff like that! A guy who looks like George from Seinfeld looks at a Tom Cruise lookalike and dismisses him as brain dead....and fat girls look at thin girls and call them names...or skinny girls look at curvy girls and envy them...It is a non stop circle...
Everyone here thinks they have something awesome to offer another person...but it is up to the OTHER person to decide if it is for them or not...
Just be happy to be alive....and make the most of what you have....and maybe some people should work on the self esteem and social skills that will get them a date with the hottie they are interested in!!!  | |
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Srooc
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Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 43 | |
| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/13/2006 5:31:36 AM | Notta........
a) I never said that it actually happened, it was a hypothetical question, and I did not say that you were shallow just asked what you would do in such a hypothetical situation.
b) You spelled my name wrong.
c) the topic is
A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and receiving. nothing was mentioned about sleeping with anyone on the first meeting.
So let me rephrase a couple of things for this Hypothetical question... You have been chatting with a guy on the Internet and have gotten to know him somewhat(his picture isn't the greatest quality), and think that he has a great personality. So you decide to meet for lunch or coffee. You get there first and wait for him to arrive, he walks in and from across the crowded room you see that he is muscular and well built,(which you are attracted to). You wave him over but as he gets closer you see that his face still looks like a pizza pop exploded on it. You talk and enjoy yourself throughout the first meeting, he would like to see you again. You suspect that he wants to see if this can maybe go some where beyond just chatting, and turn into a relationship, what do you do? | |
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O B 1
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Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 44 | |
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Srooc
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Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 45 | |
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O B 1
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Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 46 | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/13/2006 6:22:23 AM | Let me save you some trouble here scroo mi.....everyone wants a hawtie with a great personality that treats them like gold, that's plan 'a', nobody wants to admit it but that's it. Some end up going to plan 'b' some plan 'z'...that's life...let it go.
You know how they name hurricanes alphabetically and in a particularly bad year they run through the alphabet and switch to naming them by the Greek alphabet? (Hurricane Alpha, Hurricane Beta, etc.) Well, I'm currently on Plan OMEGA. What plan do I go to when this one fails?
EDIT: Keep in mind I'd prefer to stay within species. | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/13/2006 6:41:24 AM | ^^^^^ Hank: The good news is that they start over every new season. So Jan 1 we can go with the letter "A". I got to "S" this year. 
As for dealing with rejection, I usually like to do something that makes me feel good. So today I'm going to the Forks to spread some Christmas cheer. Donate some unwrapped gifts.   | |
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| A first contact - rejection.. how do you handle it.. both giving and recieving.
Posted: 12/13/2006 6:59:49 AM | gmn345
I agree with your post. I believe that dating is a numbers game but each person uses a different process to achieve their objective. I have learned through being single that the objectives are varied - so become the results. Some people say they are looking for a relationship when in fact they are not. I think that creates a lot of problems as the honesty is not there. If people would slow down and not rush the process, better choices would be made. I agree that if a person is looking for a relationship they need to know about the other person to see if they are on the same wavelength. I also agree that when you know you have a lot in common or have many of the same core beliefs the first dates are amazing.
For me, I have talked to many men online and have had between 1-6 conversations, continued conversing with a much smaller number, actually met an even smaller number and dated relatively few. I am truly looking for a relatioship and I not looking for "any guy" I want the "right guy". For me, to find that man, I need to understand the type of man he is, his character and what makes him special and find out if we would enhance each others lives. If I dont know this about a man there is no way that I would be able to share my special gift of intimacy with him as I'm not into casual sex.
I totally agree with your comment "Meet Quality...not quanity - very well said. | |
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Srooc
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Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 50 | |
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