| Don't understand !
Posted: 2/13/2008 2:59:25 AM | When I was a teenager I made a descision that if I got to 25 years old and had not had kids of my own then I wouldn't have kids.
The reason for this..my mum was 37 and my dad 44 when I was born. My dad was the age of most of my friends grandparents.
From the age I can remember my mum was ill so me, my dad and brother (7 ears older thn me) were her carers. She died 3 weeks before my 18th birthday.
I had seven years then before my dad became very ill and for the next 9 years I was his carer before he died.
I never wanted a child of mine to go through that.
I didn't have much of a childhood..it was spent caring and knowing tis person I loved so much was going to die soon.
I agree with what the other posters have said..if I did have kids..you seem to focus on them too much in your profile..even mentioning you would adopt them???
This sends alarm bells ringing..I wouldn't let you anywhere near children of mine.
OP how realistic do you really think it i that a 20 yo girl will want to date someone of your age when there are younger guys around who have much more to give them in energy, similar interests and even lifespan? | |
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| Don't understand !
Posted: 2/13/2008 1:13:05 PM | Oh yes, because when I was in my twenties, I thought my dad and his friends were really hot.  | |
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| Don't understand !
Posted: 2/13/2008 5:22:48 PM | | Glad I wasn't the only one feeling that way when I read all of this str8ahd. | |
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| Don't understand !
Posted: 2/13/2008 5:31:02 PM | there are tons of reasons why a breakup happens. could be he cheated, could be she doesn't love him anymore, could be something she found out about him and cant deal with like a secret life. there is jsut no telling. as to the not wanting a child by new man,, i would assume if she already has kids she may not want anymore. that is usually the case. also if ur in that situation maybe u should be asking her this question
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| Don't understand !
Posted: 2/13/2008 6:28:52 PM | | she may be too old for more children or have just had her children left school or not want to take a chance having more to be left bringing up another baby if the new relationship fails ........no matter how caring a man is to a women she may not want more children ever ............ | |
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| Why do ladies have kids with some one that they leave later
Posted: 2/14/2008 2:47:25 AM |
Why do ladies have kids with some one that they leave later, because the man turns out no good or some other reason? .....This can also be said of some men. The leaving someone part usually isn't planned when couples decide to have children together.
Perhaps the very reason could be as you have stated yourself.....Somewhere, somehow things go wrong and someone leaves. What if it was your partner who changed or you yourself changed.....and did the walk?
In answer to your thread I guess some women don't want to take the chance and be left "Holding the baby".
You are at the grandfather stage of your life, and perhaps it would be wiser if you could be a 'mentor' to some of the underprivilaged children who really need a mentor.
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| Why do ladies have kids with some one that they leave later
Posted: 2/14/2008 12:14:56 PM | | It should be obvious. She settled for someone to get married. After she has children she knows she can get the kids and much of the guys money. That gives her the freedom to play around with the sexier better looking guys. | |
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| Why do ladies have kids with some one that they leave later
Posted: 2/14/2008 12:25:08 PM | I don't know
Usually the whole "leaving later" thing is totally unforseen.. it's not like it's planned. In my case I am a widow... didn't really have much of a choice, but since I was older when I had my daughter I decided I was not interested in having more children after 37... and got the permanent solution to birth control. I love kids and pregnancy and all that but who the heck wants to start all that in their 40's? It's a lot of work and demanding to have small children around. My kid is nine now and I'm just finally able to have some sort of free time. So it has very little to do with anyone else... I figure at my age most people have already had their families... there are other things I would like to do now. And I still have ten more years of hands on mothering to do.
Of course there is always the theory that women breed with one type of man and marry another...it's genetic choice of some type... just something I heard once.. don't know too much about it... but there is also evidence of this with the way a woman's body handles sperm, especially if she is involved with more than one man. I don't know... just something that came to mind!
Peace | |
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| Why do ladies have kids with some one that they leave later
Posted: 2/14/2008 2:52:43 PM | RangeRon ~ not all women who have babies with a guy expect to leave them later. I had 4 beautiful, wonderful children with my ex. Unfortunately, life events got in the way and the relationship declined. It wasn't planned. It wasn't something I expected. It just happened!
The major issue in our relationship was the death of our son. Statistically, only very few relationships survive the death of a child. Do I think he's a terrible man? No! Do I think he was to blame? No! Do I feel I'm to blame? No! I just happened.
I can't speak for anyone else on this subject. I can only speak about that which I know, which is my own situation. | |
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| Don't understand !
Posted: 2/14/2008 2:57:26 PM | Good one -Myth-
OP if you are really wanting to be involved with children in this age group what is wrong with being a step-grandparent? Other posters have suggested other viable ways to be involved with young children that are admirable. However if you really, really need to become a parent I hope you are taking care of yourself and making sure that if you leave this world that child or children would at least be financially secure.
As for why I ended up leaving my son's father? He became abusive. | |
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| Why do ladies have kids with some one that they leave later
Posted: 2/14/2008 4:49:46 PM | ***women breed with one type of man and marry another...it's genetic choice of some type ***there is also evidence of this with the way a woman's body handles sperm, especially if she is involved with more than one man.
That is covered extensively in “Sperm Wars – The Science of Sex” by British biologist Robin Baker, Ph.D. and partly explained in: http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19960101-000028.html | |
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| Why do ladies have kids with some one that they leave later
Posted: 2/14/2008 9:56:58 PM | | Your question really is" why didn't she want me".No one here can answer as to why a specific woman didn't want you,to marry and have children with you.She obviously was not in love with you,and as to why not?Who knows. | |
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| Why do ladies have kids with some one that they leave later
Posted: 2/15/2008 12:31:32 PM | does anyone else think this is a dumb question?
When a woman has children with the man she loves she doesn't always know that he is going to develop grumpy old man syndrome when he hits 30, go off and have an affair with your best mate , have a total personality transplant or become the biggest miser in the universe.
People do change ! The man you fell in love with at 16 isn't always the same person when he reaches 30.
unfortunately we are not clairvoyants and are unable to see into the future.
If someone has had children with one man why should she automatically want another with a new man? we are not baby making machines ! perhaps the woman involved just felt she was happy enough with the children she had already (or had twins like me and was afraid of it happening again !!!!!) | |
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