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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:29:09 PM | i wouldn't like to played but to be honest I'm less interested if she makes it really easy. and even bit suspicious if girls are over interested.
just be your self.
if it doesn't click don't force it. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:42:04 PM | You mean, it's the woman who arbitrates when sex occurs? Maybe in your relationships....
Yes..in mine...and most of the male/female interactions in the animal kingdom.
Nope. Sorry. I'll bet anything, I've been involved with more women than you have men, and I can tell you how incorrect you actually are...
We humans are skewed at the moment. Women have lost their edge and it's actually the men who are now doing the picking and choosing.
Lost their "edge"???
I didn't realize it was a competition....
Men have always been able to pick and choose, no more, or less than women. That's got nothing to do with an "edge".....It's funny that you think "it's" skewed. That would mean that you believe it's the "natural" order that women should be omnipotent, and be the ones who pick and choose, and that men sit around "waiting" and "vying"to be chosen....
The men who play these cards on women are just too creepy and I find it more and more on these dating sites.
The men are the ones playing "games" are they? You mean because they now have the "edge" that women once had??
You'll have to clarify. Your statements don't dovetail at all...
"How do I recognize a player...?"
I don't know daisy, why don't you enlighten us?....
I am so glad that I have a decent man who just laughs at you guys and tells me that these tactics are as old as the hills and cannot believe that mature intelligent women fall for it still.
I'm a little perplexed by that....I read your profile, and it didn't seem that you thought you were ready to date.
Have you already cemented a committed relationship?
Wow. That's great if you have.
Congrats... | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:32:18 AM | Yes, women arbitrate when sex occurs. At a very simplistic level if she doesn't lift her hips so the panties can slide off it's rape. She controls. She can get him all hot and bothered and right up to the point of penetration and then say no and if he forces it, it's rape. Women most definitely are in control of when sex occurs.
I thought I commented on this thread. In a lot of ways, I see the phrase "playing hard to get" as being used by the person with the expectation of intimacy occurring more quickly to describe the behavior of the person with the expectation of intimacy occurring more slowly. I'm not sure that it actually has an objective definition.
However, I see certain elements as being present. It seems to me to necessitate that there be little or no communication about the differences in time frames for intimacy. For example, a woman who is committed to not being intimate until she is married and is upfront about that commitment can hardly be said to be playing hard to get. She has a standard and is unwilling to compromise. However, she can hardly get upset at men who have standards of their own that conflict with her standard and are unwilling to compromise their standard and move on.
Then, I would say someone who continues to date without being willing to commit to a more exclusive relationship past some point is playing hard to get. I doubt many people feel that dating should be an exclusive affair from the first meeting. However, at some point, I believe we all expect that if we are going to continue to date someone that it will become exclusive. Someone who is unwilling to commit to being exclusive and yet still wants to continue to date past some point which will vary with people will likely be considered to be playing hard to get and similarly once dating exclusively unless clearly communicated, dating that doesn't eventually lead to sex is probably not what most people are seeking.
See?? Clear as mud.
I'm in no way saying that women must have sex on the man's schedule, that is her boundary. However, I fail to see how her boundary is any more valid or caries any more moral authority than his boundary. If she wants to wait, that's fine. If he isn't willing to wait, that's fine too. If she likes thin men, that's fine. If he like's blond haired women, that's fine. It's all the same. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:20:55 AM | Thank you so much for clarifying both sides of the argument.... and for not being offended by women that choose to wait 
When threads like these are posted you really have to have an open mind about individuality. Not everyone lives the same lifestyle and has the same viewpoint. We don't post replies in hopes to start an argument but rather to bring something new to the table for you to think about.
and Kudos to vince... Even though i don't agree with you... You seem to be a really great person!
Miss B..... i think you're pretty great too.... I think you should change the photo on your profile to the 2nd one. It shows how beautiful you really are. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:24:55 AM | | If he is not into countership do not waist your vaulable time. A lil mistery is good, but if the guys is too distant he is not that into to u and if u do all the work he probably wount say no, but u will resent it and wont be happy! Get someone fun and exciting! | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:50:47 AM | Well....that's because most women are into self centered jerks that treat them like garbage. You blow off the nice guys. Think about it. If some guy is willing to call you ten times a day, he obviously likes you. He's the kind of guy who would drop everything to run across town to do anything for you. The guy who keeps blowing you off? Total a-hole. He'd tell you to go get him a beer right after he just came out of the kitchen, then tell you how fat and lazy you are because it took you ten seconds to do it. To that kind of guy, you're slave labor. I've noticed that all the women I would be interested in are totally infatuated with guys I'd just as soon take out behind the barn and beat the hell out of them for the way they treat women. Then again, they have the women, so what does that say to me? Women are nuts, that's what is says. Quit acting all goofy and get yourself a good guy before you shrivel up and end up alone at fifty.  | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:57:42 AM | | isolated1 said it all in his post. Be honest. If we wanted to play games, we'd get a Nintendo. I'm tired of being played by women who say they're tired of playing games. Guess I'll stick with the Wii. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:58:09 AM | those are not bad, not bad at all. the last one is kind of hilarious actually..
i agree that games are for children, but a little bit of intrigue (emphasis on little) can add to someone's appeal. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:40:31 PM | Omg Mutt.... that's the most hilarious analogy i've heard thus far. The saddist part is that it can be sooo true of women. "the worse you treat 'em, the more they want you." Until you actually realize that the man you're with really is a jerk. And we all know that a jerk is a jerk. No matter how cute you are.
I think we do it becuase we have this mentality eraly in life that says let me change you or let me save you. How funny. We can't do either.
and for the man the posted about women that tease.... You're right. It's cruel. But the bigger question remains. Why do women tease men that aren't going to give it up anyway. It sends a pretty false signal and gives false expectations. Not to mention she's going home to a cold shower too. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:04:33 PM | Mandrake 9. Initiate sexual contact when he/she least expects it
Reminds me of sort of hitting and then running. I wonder if he has his running shoes on and can last the distance of the chase.. If so he might just catch up on me.. lol
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:18:42 PM |
if you like childish games! There was more, but I left it out...it referred to the games that children play! Good luck!
A quick run in here to type up reply!
I have had a delightfully great evening and night and morning!
I am a provocative woman and have been all of my life. I have had much success as a woman because of it. Just can't help it!!! 
Men love a bit of teasing, fun and lightheartedness. I know men...good men...and that has been my forte. As for playing hard to get? Ladies...it does a man wonders! Play with him...he does love it. Keep the sexual tension up and taut.
My news? My man has decided that he would like to marry me sometime in the future. He's made up his mind. He knows that I am a handful, but he won't have it any other way!
He wants to go to Scotland/Ireland to do it as his roots are Scottish. He says he will kilt himself up.
Me? I have some I's to dot and T's to cross. Going to be busy!
Can I have a great big grin to all of those that poo-poo'd me? Can't help it...it's provocative me.... 
I said earlier, I know good men...but...I do not know men that are mean, cheap, nasty, bullying and controlling. Those men walk a mile around me ...they don't come into my space. Never have. They know I would eat them for breakfast and spit them out for all that they are worth.
Good luck to the Irish's of the world....you deserve a good woman...
DBB...keep that love fresh...always....Verity...lol...('nuff said)
To all of the handsome and decent men who e-mailed me...hugs..and I had a hard time declining because some of you could've been perfect. Don't ever change..
Good Luck to the the wonderful, smart women who wrote me and said lovely things...who do have decent morals and values. Keep those panties up and the good fight going. (If women only knew the power that we do have.) . There will be a good man who will find out who you are and where you are...It is worth it!!!!!!
Bye!:kiss | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:36:53 PM | The one's I like and try to be with by being available when they call or email, tend to run.
Simply, see if you can find someone who is balanced in their approach. If someone is truly interested, they will surely make time to contact you a few times a week to chat, and they will definately make some time to fit you into their busy lifestyle. When I like someone and want to get to know them, I'm already aware of my daily routine, and know exactly where and how I can fit them in. And, would surely opt to cancel that so important workout session during the week to take in a movie or cuddle for a few hours. Regardless, of whether I'm at work, taking care of my body at the gym, housework, or running around doing chores, I can always find a moment or two to make a quick call. Believe, me no-one is so important they can't take a few seconds to leave a message. A matter of fact, with current technology they could send a text message to your mobile, or an email, or even use POF, there aren't any excuses for anyone to say they don't have time to show their interest.
Remember, it might be un-realistic to ask to be at the top of someone's list especially at the beginning, but, you don't want to be at the bottom of the list either. Right? Like, I always say, you can be an "option", or you can be a "priority" in someones life. Which do you prefer? For me I'm very reciprocal, so if you make time for me I'll do the same, if you don't well neither will I, if you make me a priority I will too, if I feel love I will love back. When I put my cards on the table, I expect the same, otherwise I'll lose interest very quickly. I think this is a fair approach when dealing with people, otherwise, you'll just end up getting hurt all the time.
People are very complicated, especially in today's World, therefore, getting to know someone takes a lot of time, sometimes even years, if those people aren't making the necessary time to be with you, then, either they are hiding something (playing the field), they aren't that interested, it's some kind of controlling game they like to play, and that behaviour is definately a clear indication of what it will be like being involved with them.
So, my advice to you is; Although, dating nowadays can be very frustrating, don't take it to heart, if those people aren't interested simply move on. And in regards to the ones that won't leave you alone even after you clearly let them know there is a lack of interest, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. Don't sweat it. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:05:53 PM | awwwww Miss B. Thanks> When i spoke of teasing i think i meant more of a continual leading to sexual intimacy and not so much the teasing in general. Without any teasing at all I think it would be rather boring.
Trust me ... I could only wish that more men in the states were raised gentlemen.
But congrat's on your find and best wishes. It was soooo great a chance to talk with you. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:47:48 PM | | Actually, my current girlfriend was the one who did the chasing. I was the one "playing hard to get," if you can call it that. I was a bit attracted to her but for various reasons I didn't think it would be a good idea to pursue a relationship with her. But she was the persistent one and after a while I finally decided to be with her, and I've never been happier. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:33:33 AM | Scarcity makes some people respond by chasing. I've tried to follow a rule to mirror someone's interest if I am interested in him. If he calls...I call. Long emails...I respond in kind. Short emails....get a curt answer. Disappears for 3 weeks...I'm busy and unavailable for 3 weeks after he deigns to contact me. It accelerates the ones who are actively interested and diminishes the ones who are ambivalent.
Chasing isn't productive because the other person is already running away from you. I've had guys continue to write me when I told them directly that I didn't want to pursue the relationship. Like they could argue their way in. Most annoying. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/22/2009 1:35:50 PM |
my opinion is it doesn't matter if you play hard to get or not. The guy is only going to show you attention if HE'S INTO you.
Absolutely. But, if he only hears from you when you decide you want to string him along a bit more, most of the time it won't matter how much into you he is, he'll get outa you really quick.
I've experienced this personally, so if you read my previous thread you'll understand. My perspective is simple, if I'm into you and I let you know up front, and you're jerking me around 1 phone call a week on the weekend, when all my plans are already set / done I'm going to start having weird thoughts, and will get quite frustrated after a while when all I'm hearing is the "how busy my week was, bullshit". So, what? My week is busy too, and I can find a few moments to make a quick phone call. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/22/2009 2:11:33 PM | Absolutely. But, if he only hears from you when you decide you want to string him along a bit more, most of the time it won't matter how much into you he is, he'll get outa you really quick.
O.k. .... so i'll agree with that one, but.....
Like miss curly stated.... If he's gonna wait three weeks to call.... is he really interested. Think not. Let's be honest, most women (most) have at least waited for one man to call once in their lives. forget it. I'm not a convienence. "fit me in when you can>>>" I think she's actually a lot nicer about it than i would be after a 3 week brush off. I would have to realllllly like you ... alot! | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/22/2009 4:07:56 PM | I'm not a convienence. "fit me in when you can>>>" I think she's actually a lot nicer about it than i would be after a 3 week brush off. I would have to realllllly like you ... alot!
Nothing in life is convenient, so to think otherwise would be foolish. There is a difference between convenience, an option, and a priority. If I only have 1 day a week free and I chose to spend it with someone I like, regardless of me having to fit them into my busy schedule, I'm prioritizing that person in my life. Also, if I'm making attempts to contact that person during the week to say sweet nothings or schedule some time to hang out with them, I would say I'm prioritizing them in my life.
However, if that person, isn't reciprocating by responding to email, text messages, or picking up the phone, to make arrangesments on that 1 available day, or to say a few words to me I would have to think I was not a priority in thier lives "at all". And to be quite honest, I've given up on that person after a few days.
I'm career professional, a father, brother, uncle, friend and a whole bunch of things to various people in my life. So, I can understand being spread really thin.
It's not rocket science; if you meet someone for the first time after you've spoken a few times, and that person hasn't called you back to simply say "hey, the time we spent together was great, let's do it again sometime", or "Hi, I want to link up with you Saturday evening." guess what. Forget about it!!!!! That person is way too self centered, to give a shit about you.
Whether they like you or not, they're playing sick little control games, take my advice, only play cards or board games, mental games are way too risky. LOL
And you know what? What't wrong with that person saying "let's be friends, I'm not interested in you that way." I keep in contact with folks I've dated once, simply to say hello, and check in to see how they're doing. What's wrong with being humane to people? Is it that hard to send a text message in the 21st. century?
I've always wondered, how the hell folks can talk to each other for weeks, meet and hang out, and then just not call at least once in a blue moon to say hello. I believe people have become monsters.
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/22/2009 7:21:41 PM | Face it.... most everyone has a demanding life this day and age. Im not the exception. But since you're not holding back.... i feel i can ask you this.
in reference to the dwindling mail and calls made by Miss Curly....
Why would a man wait three weeks to call you. Honestly. Is it because they get bored and can't find a date so they call you as the runner up of the night, are they purposely ignoring you to get you interested, which you were or you wouldn't be going out with them, or do they even have a clue?? I guess that's why i wouldn't be so nice about it. Friendly yes... but i would definately let you know that if you were in any attempt of asking me on another date that you already blew it. ( unless you totally rocked my world) Then i might be a sucker....
And there's nothing wrong with remaining friends with someone that you just didn't hit it off with. The immature part is how you handle the relationship not really going where you want it too. If you stand someone up, blow someone off, or are just a complete jerk , you're just completely being rude... | |
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