| Are men more attracted to women who play hard-to-get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:03:15 PM |
.Haunted Ironline Mansion: I'm not more attracted to women that play hard to get.
I agree with my ol' buddy here. 'Hard to get' is game-playing and is annoying. It's not a good potential start to a new relationship. If someone can't feel comfortable saying that they're interested, then they likely won't have the communication skills necessary to form a trusting bond.
GE&H | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:09:38 PM |
In short, what I read from delivered1's post is the old, "Treat'em like dirt and they'll treat you like a queen."
Kinda the same as the guys that post "Treat women like dirt, and they'll flock to you."
Same strategy, sexes reversed. While it *may* work for some (women and men), I'd be willing to bet they arent the type you'd want a long-term relationship with. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:31:08 PM | Strangely enough, for all the vitriol that she chooses to fling my way, delivered1 has a point: Value yourself.
That also means, fellas, don't debase yourself by chasing someone who's into the whole "hard to get" nonsense. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:48:56 PM | Some men don't like for women to make the first move.
Some men are so afraid of rejection they ONLY want women who approach them first.
Some men don't like needy women...so don't sit by the phone/computer.
Some men will take your statement of " I can't go out with you THIS Saturday night, I'm going out of town for my Grandma's 95th birthday" as evidence of disinterest, gameplaying or having a couple of other guys on the string,and you'll never hear from him again. So DON'T have plans for Saturday nights if you want to date men LOL.
Oh I could go on with more examples of paradoxes and contradictions,but you get the idea.
Am I saying that we women can't win? Pretty much, but them's the conditions that prevail in modern dating land, kids.
That said, on the off chance that you are in touch with a guy who really IS looking to develop a relationship( instead of a defense AGAINST one) the best thing you can do is be straightforward, honest and mature...NO GAMES. Because if you begin developing a relationship based on "playing" a game or following some set of "rules", it's not going to hold up in the long run.
Did you get that? Don't "PLAY" anything! Be a straightfoward,rational adult human being, girls. It confuses the hell out of men and maybe you might snare one while he's still reeling from the shock.After you have his attention it's OK to be all girly and flirty, or not, if it ain't your style. 
Cindy O | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:49:05 PM | It's not the "hard to get" factor that interests men (or women, when the guy seems hard to get).
What it really is, is that the appearance of being "hard to get" comes when someone is independent and fulfilled, confident and happy with their life. They have things going on. Happy, fulfilled people has an magnetic appeal on others.
When that person draws you close and loves you, you know you're being loved for who you are. Not because they're needy or lonely or going down the PAT meter.
When someone just plays at being hard to get, throwing unreal obstacles up, sooner or later, that shows their insecurity. Their emptiness becomes apparent. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:52:29 PM | It isn't so much a "playing hard to get" thing as it is an "unavailable" thing. Both sexes are guilty of falling for the unobtainable. You want what you can't have. I'll swallow my pride and fess up to playing the hard to get game, and it never worked. It's phony. Now that my life has turned to utter chaos and I truly am unavailable, men are always approaching me. I think it's because my focus is elsewhere. When you aren't focused on "getting a man" you let your guard down without realizing it. And a relaxed looking person just looks so much more desirable.
Example: I used to get all dressed up and go on the prowl and strike out. You know, sit there all night alone and miserable while trying to be aloof. PHONY! Now I run to the store cause I'm desperate for bread and milk and I'm in my PJ bottoms and flip flops and BAM! 5 guys want to talk to me. People are funny.
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/12/2006 4:14:01 PM | Whozjet. Good Question! What is the minimum allowable
number of digits, you have to have tattooed on your arm.
On Topic. This issue is clouded by so many different
circumstances, so it's probably impossible to establish
any real criteria.
For instance, what each partner is looking for, has a
huge bearing on the matter. A guy just looking to get
laid, is a completely different story then a guy looking
for a wife, with which to have children.
Delivered 1, made some very good points. Most people
that are reasonably well balanced and honest, would
gravitate toward a partner displaying confidence and
stability.
As for my own experience. A person, too eager to jump
into a relationship, either has an agenda of some sort, or
has some emotional or other neediness issues! Re-bounders
immediately come to mind! | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 1:22:18 AM | | to a certain point. we don't respect someone that we sleep with us the first date but after a few weeks i think that's ok. once you've been got i don't think it's necessary to keep up the game | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:04:28 AM | I have looked at many profiles and its funny the womens say...dont like players... but i dont think any of us do, he may have contacted you first, and its nice when that happens...i might add though not to me..but thats another story.
If you exchange numbers and he doesnt reply, or is cold with a reply, then move on girlie, do you really want someone like that in yr life?
My friend Kate tells me that when i start dating a guy, let him come to you, but i sit there sometimes as we all do waiting for that text or call... i have now come to the conclusion, say hi if you want to, if hes really that interested, hell get back....
Good luck sweetie, im sure there is someone thats right for you out there that will make you happy... maybe then i mightget a look in...lol
Take care and have a good xmas... hope this makes sense and doesnt sound like a load of waffle... x | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:28:33 AM | Sierramen your first paragraph in your reply cracked me up, its so true. Thats all we ever get is games. At times it seems like most chicks arrent happy unless they have a reason to be mad. Some arrent like that at first, but they always come around. No offence ladies.
You guys must be getting too fat, old and lazy because as men we chase what we cant have right. It goes for cars, real estate, women, fish, deer, ect. So if you end up together with a girl who gave it up to right away you actually think you would be with her longer than one that teased you and made you waited so long that it was speciall. Not a cheap dinner and drinks and back to my place..
Common we all like the chase we just nead a sign or two, or mabye it'll be at first sight. 
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:43:54 AM | | Too many people on this thread sound as if they are looking to date Sigmund Freud. You do NOT have to be 100 percent confident, 100 percent happy, or 100 percent content in yourself to enter into a satisfying and long-term relationship with someone. What happens if a person with Tourette's Syndrome wants to go out on a date with you? What happens if your life is never 100 percent satisfactory? Are you going to wait until your life gets completely straightened out before you accept a date? If one of the supermodels did NOT play hard to get, most men would still want to have a relationship with them. If Nicole Kidman chased you and requested a long-term relationship with you, would you turn her down because she was too easy to get?! | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 12:14:08 PM | I think honesty in that your interested is best, if it's reciprocated great and go from there. If not, move on! If your not sure - a simple question takes care of the confusion. "Playing hard to get" and all of the other games were fine for High school, but as an adult - life's to busy for head games.
Sitting by the phone waiting for someone to call; the question you need to ask yourself is: Would you want someone that has no other interests than sitting by the phone waiting for you to call? | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 1:02:01 PM | | For the most part the advice in this thread is horrendous. With my male friends, i always tell them when wondering how to go about getting the girl they like, never listen to female advice, the advice they give is almost always wrong. Why, i don't know, but rather than looking at what women say they want, look around you, and do what you actually see working. Do what you see work, not what women say works. No i know it is the same for the obvious sex. Do not look at what these men say they want a woman to do, but what YOU have seen men actually go for. If playing hard to get means having a life of your own, then play hard to get. Best advice by far is from Cherished1 and Creativguy. I'm not sure the reasons behind why men like what they do, and whether the reasons Cherished gave are right or not doesn't matter. What is obvious is men are more attracted to women that have there life together, and are busy, and are not clingy. I speak from personal experience, and i think if these guys could admit the truth they would say the same. Don't listen to these guys that are freaking out about playing games. Live your life, make him a part of it. Don't make him your life. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 3:56:14 PM | ahhh yes, the hard to get game... i love how a majority of women on this site and a few others always put " NO GAMES" in their profile... what exactly makes a woman think we men want to play Their games?
or maybe women simply don't agree that the whole hard-to get thing is a game which we don't particularly care for? | |
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