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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:29:38 PM | | I have this exact problem and it sucks! And this is where those stupid head games come in..act all not interested etc, and they come running, or show some interest and there they go running, lol...It's retarded. I personally preferr to just be upfront, no games, but then again I'm still single...Dating is a game, and it can be great and fun( when ur winning lol) and it can be hard on the head...But in the end if ur honest about how u feel and the guy runs, he's not worth it, why play games, you don't want a pansy ass guy who plays games with ur head , right? | |
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mar814
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 52 | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:52:56 PM | Girlie;
I think you are wise to view Dating as a game.
But I think the way it best works, is that as two
people become more and more familiar, and I am
not talking sex, (which clouds everything, and can
tend to perpetuate the game playing) the games become
less and less, as more trust developes. Eventually,
the games should cease entirely. In most cases,
this is sadly not so, however. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/27/2007 6:50:03 PM | I think of it as the Groucho Marx Reflex, or "GMR" (wouldn't want to join a club that would have me as a member).
Suppose it comes from insecurities and desire for one-up-personship... Only those who are "too good for you" are going to be "worth anything"... If somehow they condescend to notice little lousy you, there must be something wrong!!! 
That's how I interpret the whole thing.
So the only way to have a *really* honest experience with someone you think might be the right one is... to be friends!!! No sex. No strings. No expectations. Just be buddies - for like, a year. Maybe two. No time limit. No pressure at all. Get your rocks off elsewhere in the meantime.
In fact, the whole let's-get-to-know-each-other thing seems to be a bit of a time-honoured strategy.
Starting out "dating" is just too much pressure, too many expectations, when you have no bloody idea what in the world you're in for. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/27/2007 9:19:02 PM | | No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No,No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No,No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No,No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No,No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/27/2007 9:42:58 PM | | It depends on each persons personality. When a women plays games all it means is that she's insecure in herself, doesn't appreciate herself and looks for some sort of reaction in her partner that will make it all better. But, in fact it was all an act to start with to get it her way. Sorry, to tell you by the time you w0ke-up your romeo, handsome prince has met someone else that probably will not waste his time. My guess is...love yourself, understand and figure out at age thirty something what the H......is it you really need in your life. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/27/2007 11:25:01 PM | I can't stand these kind of dating games. Playing hard to get, making somebody wait, etc.
If I'm trying to contact someone, and they consistently fail to respond, then the message I get is that she's not interested. I'll taper my attempts to contact down to nothing if she's unresponsive. I don't want to be a nuisance to anyone.
Likewise, if someone I'm interested in tries to contact me, I don't play hard to get. I might be cautious, but not hard to contact.
Communication, communication, communication, is so important to me, in starting, growing, and maintaining a relationship. Ignoring someone is neglecting someone.
Neglect is a form of abuse. 'Nuff said. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/28/2007 2:32:29 AM | I know you've read those books by christian slater and the likes, alot of the imformation is good, but a lot is not.. we are all individuals and are attracted to various personality types. I think his advice is for women who have LOW self asteem, who constantly attract the wrong men by acting like a bunny boiler.
I think in general both sex's want the same thing, honesty, loyalty, personality, confidence and chemistry. When those things are felt, it doesn't matter who calls who, there are no games played because you both have found what your looking for and wont want to lose it and appreciate what you've been waiting for.. Nobody likes to feel like their flogging a dead horse, or getting the cold shoulder. Just go with the flow n chill, we have to learn to be happy within our selves, then love will find you when you least expect it.  | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:19:08 AM |
Can anyone tell me what I should do. Im thinking about ignoring the one I like....
*shakes head*
I believe that under no circumstances should there be ANY form of 'game playing'...including playing hard to get. If you like someone, BE YOURSELF..show emotion when you want, there's no real sense in holding back.
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:34:13 AM | i know what you mean about being chased until you say ok, then they run. ive been there too many times. as soon as you become interested they start chasing someone else. after they dont hear from you for awhile it starts all over again. dont worry, this type of man is too immature for a relationship. ive been through this with men in their 30's and 40's and none of them had been married before. theyre good liars, they'll tell you anything to get your interest and when they you they have it theyre gone. its just a confidence boost at your expense. dont waste your time they'll only break your heart. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:45:11 AM | I don't play hard to get, I AM hard to get! Big difference! I am not going to jump into something just for the sake of being with somebody. If I meet somebody and I am interested in him, I will let him know that I am interested in getting to know him and if he expresses interest in me, but I am not interested, I will let him know that too! I'm not into playing silly games with people's emotions.
as soon as you become interested they start chasing someone else. after they dont hear from you for awhile it starts all over again. dont worry, this type of man is too immature for a relationship. ive been through this with men in their 30's and 40's and none of them had been married before. theyre good liars, they'll tell you anything to get your interest and when they you they have it theyre gone. its just a confidence boost at your expense. dont waste your time they'll only break your heart.
I hear ya, hotlegs! | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:48:17 AM | Well I'll step out a bit...
YES....men love women that play hard to get. To state it bluntly, if I go out with a woman and I can get into her pants on the first date then.......so can everybody else (and vice versa). Thats when I walk away and don't even enjoy the rest of the first date nor will I continue with a second date and so on.
I personally enjoy a woman who has a spark of independence and surety of herself. IMO this is not 'playing' hard to get on her part but simply stated...she 'IS' hard to get. I love the idea that she has a sense of purety about her even though she has had relationships or marriages in the past. Not one who is clingy and appears to be in desparate need of the human touch. A man can sense a needy woman from the get go.
It's also my opinion that a man has no respect for a woman if he chooses to attempt to engage in sex on the first date, thus, treating her less than a lady should be treated. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:48:33 AM | OP, men who "chase" a woman, who shows no interest, generally have a dysfunctional need for "approval" out of a delusion that external approval will fill the void left by their having failed to develop a consistent self-identity. Everyone has run across people like that in the dating world, and it can range from being "irritating" to scary (in the case of stalkers}. Telling them that you want to be "friends" only encourages their deslusion that if they just "try harder", they can "win" you over.
In terms of someone sane and reasonable, playing "hard to get" will merely deter him. Someone with a reasonably consistent self-image will accept that not everyone is going to be "interested" in him, and when the attraction doesn't seem mutual, he will merely look elsewhere. Besides, "playing games" in the early stages of dating is never a good foundation for what might follow.
IMO, if you're interested, let him know. If you're not, then make that clear. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:21:32 AM | | There are some men who are attracted to women who play hard to get. I met a guy on-line who soon became a very good friend. He was like this and openly admitted it. And he always had big troubles with the women he really liked to date too as all of them cheated--constantly! He liked the 'excitement' the chase brought. He thrived on that excitement. Problem was when he found a woman he really wanted, he suddenly wanted her to change her personality and turn into a stable, responsible, totally committed woman! I explained to him that it is very rare to find a totally stable, responsible, committed type who is also very good at playing games--such as hard to get. Most of the play-hard-to-get women are not 'playing'--they ARE that way. And they are probably not going to change into a different type of woman once the man decides he wants that woman. Most of these women weren't playing games or playing hard to get at all--they were simply being themselves. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/28/2007 12:43:42 PM | | Most guys like myself like convenience. If a girl is not interested we back off. At first we may try to show some interest to see if she'll come around or see if she has hot friends to hook us up if she seems like she just wants to be friends. If you are interested you should let it be known. If not you are sending mixed signlas and the guy will either find someone else or cheat on you if he does get to be with you and find a woman who won't play mind games. Playing hard to get is for inexperienced children. We are adults here. Flirt and let him know you are interested. Honest is important in relationships and mixed signals can confuse a guy. Guy's don't want to work that hard. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/29/2007 9:11:19 PM | To put this very simply, there are a lot of interesting women in the world, some of whom would be interested in me. So why would I want to waste time with someone, who wants to make things difficult? I didn't choose to date to make life more difficult or confusing, but rather to make life fuller, more fun and interesting, and to find someone to share the intimate parts of me, while accepting her intimate part in return.
I can get indifference anywhere, any time. If a woman chooses to act indifferent, I really don't care. I simply move on, without much of a second thought about it. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 11/29/2007 9:38:11 PM | Alright, here's the thing ... if a guy is interested, he will pursue you. Seriously. If he wants you, he will hunt you down wherever you are. So go ahead and send emails, go ahead and call. But if you find you are doing WAY more of the pursuing than he is, he's just not that into you. And you move on.
Here are some basic rules - make him wait a month before you jump him. Anything less than that, he's just waiting you out. But if he sticks it out a month, he's in for whatever you got.
Seriously, men are so easy to understand. It's us chicks that make it complicated. | |
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