Every woman has had a man pursue her, only to lose interest when she tries to be available to them all of the time. A woman will overcompensate, giving everything to a man she barely knows, without having him invest much in the relationship. Woman tend to want to please, and she will give blindly because she wants so much for her attentions to be reciprocated. Many times she will go along with what we think her man will like or want because she wants to keep the relationship at all cost. Every woman, at some point, has been there.

Men need a mental challenge and a mental challenge is a woman who does not appear to be too needy. This isn't about how to play a game or how to manipulate someone. This is about whether you are genuinely needy, or whether you can genuinely show him that you'll be an equal partner in the relationship. It's about whether you are capable of holding your own in a relationship.

What would happen if you let him know from day one that you are willing to bend over backward? He'd think you're desperate, and he'd want to see just how far you'd be willing to bend. It's human nature. He'd immediately start to test the waters. The more malleable you'd become, the more he'd expect you to bend. He'll instantly perceive you as a Duracell batter, as in, "Just how far will she go? How much can I get out of her?"

Overcompensating or being too eager to please will lessen a man's respect; it will give the kiss of death to his attraction, and it will put a time limit on the relationship.

If a woman were to chase a man in a black nightie, first he'll have sex with her..and then he'll run. Why does a man run from a situation like this one? He runs because the woman's behavior doesn't suggest that she places a high value on herself. The relationship is new, and the bond between them is relatively shallow. Yet she's already dealt him her best card.

The fact that she is willing to overcompensate to a virtual stranger immediately suggest on of two things. He'll either assuem she is desperate, or he'll assume she is willing to sleep with all men right away. Or both. What gets lost is his appreciation for her extra effort. Once a man begins to lose respect for a woman because she is willing to subtly devalue herself, he will also lose the desire to get closer to her.

When you are playing the role of "the friend" (to a guy you aren't attracted to) you won't kill yourself to impress him. This is why he falls in love with the girl who doesn't serve a four-course meal. You give him a bowl of popcorn, and he says "boy am I special!". it doesn't matter if it's pasta with Ragu topped by a meat-ball you picked up at the orner deli. He'll say "This is the best pasta I've had in my life!" Now he feels like a king. And the only difference is the amount of time and effort he had to invest, First! He didn't get it all right up front, and he appreciated it more.

So bottom line is...In general, the mental challenge has to do with whether you expect to be respected. It also has to do with him knowing that you're not afraid to be without him.

Human nature dictates that we always want what we think we can't have, but once we get it, we may not want it anymore.

If the person you are interested in comes on to strong or easily, we want to back off, if the person we are attracted to doesn't show much interest, we want them all the more.

Isn't playing hard to get playing a game? If so, then why is it alright for women?

Playing is playing....games are for children. You play hard to get, and you'll be playing alone! Life is too short to be using valuable time chasing...be an adult, communicate your feelings/desires, take the risk! Be vulnerable and see where you stand with each other. If you can't do that, you will be alone for a long time. JMO!

but he contacted me first

Does "playing hard to get" explain the many profiles from women that you see that say they are looking for "dating" or "long term", who take the time to describe an ideal first date, spell out what kind of man they are or are not interested in (and even have restrictions on the age/distance etc that can email them....but then in their "paragraph" say that they really don't have any time for dating and are only on this site to "make friends"

Playing hard to get is another dating "game" and games are not a good thing, it would be better if everyone was honest and went for what they want without the games.