| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:43:30 PM | Uh Oh!
Now it's the currency card....LOL!
What other cards you got in that pocket that will help convince women to give it up to you. It's sad that you have to "shame" and "guilt" them into it.
Try an experiment, please..if you may???
See a little cutie who has her head on her shoulder right and work the "playing hard to get" and "currency" cards on her. See what kind of response you get.
See a girl that is lacking in self-esteem and doesn't have those sexy good looks and work the same cards on her.
So...kind of insulting to all of us females when some jerk uses that on us....
In some ways you are a horse - trader, too. You are using some kind of ammunition to get what you want.
So..again...I want a relationship, a home and a nice lifestyle if I give you sex.
That's my ammo. So..quit playing hard to get.
So many men....so many playing hard to get....sigh...
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:34:56 PM | First of all Bouda, Sex and relationships aren't mutually exclusive. Secondly, it is obvious to me now that you are completely missing my point or simply trolling. You seem to be more interested in posting sarcasm fits than actually reading what I am writing.
I am not quilting, shaming or looking to pressure woman into sex; hell, I would probably be a lot more patient about it than most. I do not play hard to get and I am not playing a hand. I genuinely feel sorry for women who feel that their bodies are something to trade for either a relationship, a home or a lifestyle.
What I am trying to do is encourage women to be independent, self-sufficient and learn to live within your means; not to feel ashamed of their bodies and feel as if being promiscuous somehow lowers your worth; and, most importantly, to also respect a man's involvement and value in the exchange. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:47:22 PM | Now...now...
You guys are the first to throw that "playing hard to get" card out there so fast it makes a woman's head spin....
What???????...we say..
I asked what we did that constituted "playing hard to get" as all the replies from men on here just said..."uhh..if she plays hard to get I'm outta here..." or.."If she plays hard to get, I am not interested..."
I wanted to know what you guys thought what "playing hard to get" was and I got varying degrees of answers.
Then, I thought about how easy it was to throw that card at us. I had to ponder at why. If a guy threw that at me, how do I feel??
If, I was wanting a man so much in my life and was scared that he would lose interest, then I would feel obligated to cave in...I mean...we are taught to be pleasers.
If I had smarts and self-esteem, I would laugh at the manipulation. OMG...lol...Then go and find it somewhere else. I ain't ready.
See the difference? Horse-trading...is horse-trading...
Most women want a relationship with the sexual side as the expression of love and giving.
If you want pure sex without any strings, then I suggest you go look up a prossie. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/19/2009 6:56:22 PM | | LOL..... you actually believe that?! First of all... i'm pretty independent. Secondly... .... i have a job! Refer to #1 if you missed it. I think it's completely unfair for you to say that waiting for sex has no value. Are you going to teach your teenage daughter sex is great and it's freely given to whoever. Give me a break. Even most liberal dad's want their children to be loved and to know that they're actually worth something. Sex shouldn't be used as a bartering chip in the dating process. I'm sorry you completely disagree with me and although you say that you would be more patient than most... the fact of the matter is that you would eventually leave because a woman simply would not have sex with you. And that's where the manipulation comes in. It's kind of like you're giving her an ultimatum. Bend or break....which do you choose?? At least if she lost you she would still have respect for herself and for her decision. Which leads to the 2nd point.... when you speak of value....do you actually want to get married and have a family? Do you place value in your home and in your relationship? Will you "value" your wife? When you truly value those things, the committment won't be so tuff. Please reread the complete definition of value b/c it doesn't necessarily mean monetary. I think we can at this point mutually agree to disagree on the sex issue!! | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/19/2009 7:02:40 PM | | and just for correction purposes.... we're not taught that our sexuality is our worth. We are taught teach individuality and to make good decisions. Our sexuality adds to our value .... #1 We don't have the reputation of promiscuity #2 The emotional "baggage" and damage to the heart are much less than what they would be if we decided to have sex with everyone coming and going. You know women are heartfelt creatures anyway right? Hence.... don't sleep with the chump because he'll be gone the next morning. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:18:07 AM | Christie, that "emotional baggage" comes from others reprimanding woman for their promiscuity. They feel bad about having sex because they were taught, probably from a very young age and by religious bigots and/or sexist men, that it's wrong. Have you ever met a guy who had emotional baggage from having free sex? No, most men are actually encouraged to have sex every chance they get, a completely unfair double standard for women if you ask me.
Every dad wants their children to be loved and happy, that's natural, but most of those dads would also be the firsts to high-five their son for having sex and then ground their daughters for doing the same. To me, that is not only sexist but damaging to a girls sense of worth both as a woman and a human being. It also completely discredits their individuality.
And to answer your question, yes, if I was in a relationship with no sex at all, I would probably break it off (At least if it's the case in the beginning, It wouldn't be that simple after years of commitment). It doesn't mean that I would stop caring for that person but a relationship is a commitment from two people, not one. I want to give and receive but I also need my partner to want to give and receive as well. I need my future wife to value our relation as much as I do, both physically and emotionally.
You shouldn't see sex between consenting adults as a bad thing, ever. I know your religion has probably trained you into feeling guilty about your body, that's what religion does best, but you have to realize that the guilt is 100% man made. No one should ever be made to resent their sex life. (I also want to note, though, that divorce rates among conservative Christians are significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.)
Whether you accept it or not, by encouraging the mentality that holding out increases a woman's worth, you are contributing to the system of thought that a woman's body is a form of currency for getting what they want, whether it's commitment or a lifestyle. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 7:06:59 AM |
Christie, that "emotional baggage" comes from others reprimanding woman for their promiscuity. They feel bad about having sex because they were taught, probably from a very young age and by religious bigots and/or sexist men, that it's wrong. Have you ever met a guy who had emotional baggage from having free sex? No, most men are actually encouraged to have sex every chance they get, a completely unfair double standard for women if you ask me.
You are young. I will accept that for your incredible reply. The so-called "double-standard" is another card you guys pull out to convince us that it's alright to have sex like a guy does.
Please. You sound like you could be intelligent. Go and read about the science of male and female sexuality and why the differences in thinking...Start with human anthropology and human biology. Not just skim. Do an extensive job of understanding the differences in the sexes.
This so-called "double standard" is alive and well...and though some that can't compete/play in the male/dating game want to change it to make it easier for them, it is still there.
Woman who have tried to play the men's way because they figure it's pleasing to men have been burned so much. Their little hearts can only take so much.
Men who have tried it the woman's way to please women (overly nice men) have also been burned. They just get angrier at women.
So..if playing these manipulation cards is part of some men's games...OH!...did I say games??? Men play games? Nah! 
Anyway, go read. It's very useful information and knowledge is everything. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 7:51:38 AM | We can have a nurture vs nature debate if you want and you could find just as many books that counter your "nature" point of view but I'm not sure how much good it would end up doing though since you already have convinced yourself that everything I am saying is a card I am trying to play to get women in the sack; not to mention the misguided hatred and stereotyping you seem to have towards men.
On a side note; yes, information and knowledge are important but I would also argue that age has nothing to do with it. It would only be logical to me that once the human brain reaches full maturity, every bit of information stored thereafter comes at the prices of another. No one ever truly gets smarter, they just change points of view. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:11:03 AM |
Another card comes up...you are quite predictable...Get angry at her.
Nature has made the perfect male and the perfect female. Ponder this for awhile. It took Her, God, Evolution how many thousands of years to perfect them?
And...you think that some 30 yrs. of social conditioning (feminism and human's thoughtless idealism) is going to destroy our DNA, our drives, our instincts, and our chemical impulses/responses that have actually made us who were are today?
Try this.
Social mores and idealistic conditioning says: A man and woman shouldn't care about physical attraction in the opposite gender. We should just care about what's inside the person.
What is YOUR intinctive reaction when you see a good-looking girl with a sexy booty, nice breasts and trim waist? She has style and attitude in her way about her.
What is YOUR reaction to a frumpy, overweight unattractive girl who has no self-confidence radiating from her?
No idealism. Truths, here.
What is a man's strongest drive besides eating and sleeping? What conditions must be met?
Your homework...What is a woman's strongest drive besides eating and sleeping? What conditions must be met?
Then...we will see where the "playing hard to get " cards come in. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:29:49 AM | soi'm a religious bigot because i wouldn't sleep with you!?? I'm sorry...some women actually do have standards and weigh the consequences of their actions. Ummm.... and do you think that i've always been christian?! I also know many girls that aren't christian that will tell you of the emotional toll from sleeping around. Most women are wired differently than men and are more emotional. I've also known women that live guilt free promiscuous lives in a world that now says anything is acceptible. I actually teach from both christian and secular views. Do you really think teens listen to people that haven't made mistakes? Please. reguardless of age... you are correct about one thing.... sex is supposed to be consentual. And yes.. divorce rates in the religious sect are just as prominant in the non. That's a whole other thread.
I wouldn't high five my teenage son for having sex.... sorry. Did you look up the word value... it also means to esteem. If you would leave a woman for not having sex with you.... i'm talking one you actually care about.... then you really don't esteem "or value" that relationship.
Thanks miss B. for the info. It won't put me to sleep will it? | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:32:18 AM | | No, I don't like those bullshit "hard-to-get" games. A bit of a challenge is interesting, but there comes a time when it's like "C'mon...we're both adults here...I like you. Do you like me? If so, great let's kiss and see where it goes..." | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 8:51:46 AM | Boudacia,
Those conditions aren't passed down, they are gained through life experience. Everyone(with the exception of those with unfortunate physical deficiencies) starts off with the eventual drive to procreate but the nature part ends there. How else could you rationally explain for the different sexual orientations, the millions upon millions of odd fetishes and the difference in every single and unique emotional need? How else could you rationally explain all the differences within a gender? There is no women vs men, we may be raised differently but in the end we're all still individuals.
People aren't born with these things pre-written in their genetic code, if anything it's imbibed in their subconscious from their experiences with their peers, parents and surroundings. I mean, you do realize that general conception of what is "attractive" actually differs from one country to another right? It isn't even the same from one individual to the next and I can certainly make a safe assumption that it isn't the same throughout history either.
I also want point this out: nature hasn't made the perfect anything. Nature is full of mistakes and poor designs, and you really don't have to look far to find them.
Anyway, we are obviously off-topic now, we'll just have to agree to disagree. There is nothing else that I have to say on the matter. I can only suggest that you put down the cards and go read a few books yourself. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 9:41:56 AM |
Those conditions aren't passed down, they are gained through life experience
You have had so much life experience, youngster.....
I love debating...but...debate with some wisdom and knowledge..and understanding.
Do not throw the "playing hard to get" card at any woman until you understand her...
Ask any seasoned player. They know not to do that. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:43:00 AM | go B.... go go goooo B!!! Believe i could do the little dance with you're replies.
**** vince ***** I think if there was an icon that had like the rainbow people (they're a group of traveling "free love hippies") I would soooo send it to you!! Free Love   | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 11:51:18 AM | geez... i can't spell today.... *your*
Anyway...i'm not a bigot Vince. Prejucide just isn't my thing. I just knew we were on opposite sides of the fence and you should have agreed to disagree earlier. It's apparent that some of us don't share your view... nor do you share ours.
"where's the stinkin peace sign when you need it?" | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 12:50:15 PM | I asked what we did that constituted "playing hard to get" as all the replies from men on here just said..."uhh..if she plays hard to get I'm outta here..." or.."If she plays hard to get, I am not interested..."
Playing hard to get means making any attempt to get a guy to chase you by pretending to be less interested than you are, including passively waiting for calls when you want to talk. A woman can take that anyway she likes, but since I'm the one who decides what ``interested enough'' means, all that matters is whether or not I think she's playing hard to get. If you play games, you have to plan to lose.
Social mores and idealistic conditioning says: A man and woman shouldn't care about physical attraction in the opposite gender.
Why not?
We should just care about what's inside the person.
Such as?
What is YOUR intinctive reaction when you see a good-looking girl with a sexy booty, nice breasts and trim waist? She has style and attitude in her way about her.
What is YOUR reaction to a frumpy, overweight unattractive girl who has no self-confidence radiating from her?
Which of ``frumpy,'' ``overweight,'' and ``no self-confidence'' are beyond a person's ability to change about herself? Unattractive is rather subjective and not wholly beyond improvement either.
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 4:04:10 PM | We women love sex. That's what you want, too.
But, in Mother Nature's world and by the rules of anthropology, biology and science...it is on OUR time. When WE are ready. When the conditions that we require are there.
You mean, it's the woman who arbitrates when sex occurs? Maybe in your relationships....
Any woman who considers herself the arbitrator of both her and I, would not even be someone I would even consider for a conversation, much less dating or having sex....
Yes..there are women who are conditioned to believe that ...."well...let's just get it on...we looked at each other and we felt the "connection.." If that is what you want, then there are plenty who will oblige you. Start looking at the profiles of likely-looking candidates and approach them with your no-nonsense attitude.
Report to us about what happened. Inquiring minds want to know.
All of my longest term relationships began with an intense sensation of feeling connected very early on...
There was no "hard to get".
It was "hard to resist" and "hard not to give in" and "impossible to forget".... | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:21:08 PM | Any woman who considers herself the arbitrator of both her and I, would not even be someone I would even consider for a conversation, much less dating or having sex....
No one's talking about arbitrating relationships....
Speaking of which... I don't think you'd have a chance at class if you're really that shallow!! | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:51:57 PM | | thats becouse weman only want what thay cant have when and if thay did come to u .u would ingore him aswell so maybe u need to look at yourself not others sorry for being so harsh but im an ass in sorts anyways well good luck | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:07:41 PM |
You mean, it's the woman who arbitrates when sex occurs? Maybe in your relationships....
Yes..in mine...and most of the male/female interactions in the animal kingdom.
We humans are skewed at the moment. Women have lost their edge and it's actually the men who are now doing the picking and choosing.
See how many men insist and say to the woman on here ~
1. Contact me...it's alright...I will respond. I really like that, ya know. Modern liberated sexually aware women who are confident and intelligent do this...It makes them in control...(just a second while I barf)....
2. Enjoy having sex like us! If you want anything more than pure mutually enjoyed sex from me, tch..tch...you are putting currency on sex....tch...tch..(as he shakes his head...but looks out the corner of his eye at her to see if she bought into that...)
3. HEY! You are playing hard to get!! I am NOT into games. I will go and find it somewhere else. ...(as he looks at her sideways to see if she bought into this...)
4. Shrug...you want me to wait?...Meh...I will just go find someone else....there's always a REAL woman out there who likes to fvck....
This is men in control. They have the control issues and any woman that gets involved with a man who horse-trades with their sexuality and hearts like this ends up like the few women I have responded to in the last couple of days..."How do I recognize a player...?"
The men who play these cards on women are just too creepy and I find it more and more on these dating sites.
I am so glad that I have a decent man who just laughs at you guys and tells me that these tactics are as old as the hills and cannot believe that mature intelligent women fall for it still. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:36:29 PM | Sonny... I think you're being a little judgemental... have you actually read through today's posts or did you just read the last few and then reply in hopes to strike a nerve? Which really wasn't accomplished. I think if you're gonna reply about what you believe, then at least be mature about it.
But you're right... i probably wouldn't go out with him. I read his profile....
I like to read the profiles of those that i converse with. It gives me a better understanding of who they are. Maybe you should try it. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:43:56 PM | The nine suggestions for "playing hard to get" from EZINE research
1. Be flexible but not a pushover
2. Create distance without going anywhere
3. Give him/her what he/she wants but not in the way he/she expected
4. Don't compete, outlast the competition
5. Be totally open and upfront but keep raising questions in his/her mind and answering them: some right away, some later
6. Be easily accessible but “out of reach”
7. Stir the pot once in a while
8. Work the imagination and tease all of his/her senses
9. Initiate sexual contact when he/she least expects it
These games are not in any way, to be used as a "control" or "power" game. Once that happens, you lose all hope of a meaningful connection. | |
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| Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 6/20/2009 7:08:01 PM | Hey...I like that!...
But...I would say that most people consider that game playing in which they have expressively said that they hated and will have nothing to do with.
That is why I wanted to know what exactly constituted "Playing hard to get.."
Thank you for giving me my answer.
Now...as I look at this write-up that you so nicely gave to the thread, this keeps the possible relationship interesting and on it's toes. It could be fun. | |
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