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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 5/30/2007 3:31:44 PM | | You're one of the best about it though Jesse... all the girls you've dated fell head over heels. I should know I knew most of them LOL... Love ya! BFF:) | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:34:29 AM | | i too was raised old school. romance and chivelry sadly have been beaten down by to many bad people. liers cheaters and overall users. dont get me wrong theres a lot of good people out there, but speaking as one of the nice guys who finish last. to many women are overly attracted to the bad boy but then complain about how there treated. but still go for these types of men. but theres just as many bad women out there to. ive been cheated on to many times. it wasnt because of how i treated them either. but after that much negetivity. things like romance and good manors seem to wane. you start to feel like its not appreciated so why care enough to do it. but if being treated bad is what you like and tend to go for then take what you get and be happy . if you want to be treated good then find someone good. true romance is not dead its just being practiced by those who still believe in it . find someone that believes and be happy. ............best wishes to all ..........trey | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 8/15/2007 11:20:25 PM | Seemed an appropriate time to revisit this POST. I am wondering who else is having concerns about ROMANCE in the MODERN age? Where vocal communication has been replaced by email, chat, and text.
People no longer go out to Cafe`s for drinks and socializing, but instead sit in front of their keyboards and go to the Cyber-Cafe`s...
I know this lesson as I am VERY guilty of many hours spent sitting in front of the PC hoping to meet one person. Texting someone just simply because it was convienent and easy. And then yearning to be with someone with whom I can enjoy "OUR" talks, "OUR" evenings and days spent out. And of course, many of those other ROMANTIC moments that two people share. Maybe I am conflicted and confused. But correct me if I am wrong, wouldn't it mean more to you ( the reader) to hear the voice of your loved one or love interest on the phone? Even if just for a moment throughout the day.
Too me, It seems, that all this technology does is "dehumanizes" a people and removes several key components from what so many yearn for...ROMANCE. It removes feelings and the context of what you are trying to say both for the one initiating the contact, and the recipient. I recognize it allows them to say or be a way that normally they are not. And although it can be exciting for a while, when do WE (all of us) start getting away from Technology and allowing HUMAN nature and this "Chemistry" thing to take over?
Ahhhhh! I guess I am truly still learning many things ... and I support a person's decision to approach others which ever way they are able to. I only hope that WE just do not ever let it be the ONLY way two people get in touch and stay in touch.
Well, all I know is that I have met a woman recently who I would really like to get to know better... and I hope that we can do it the old fashion way as well. For now I shall enjoy the techno ride for as long as it last. And then maybe someday I will be seen holding her hands walking down the street someplace... BOTH of us with HUGE smiles on our faces.
I WISH ALL OTHERS LUCK WITH THEIR ROMANTIC MOMENTS!!!
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:16:35 AM |
It seems, that all this technology does is "dehumanizes" a people and removes several key components from what so many yearn for...ROMANCE. It removes feelings and the context of what you are trying to say both for the one initiating the contact, and the recipient
You are so right. Kind of makes me wonder if we are on the way to having sex someday in the way they did in the movie Sleeper with Woody Allen. (yes, I am showing my age again. )
Seriously, this is something we all need to think about. I have because I have caught myself spending too much time on the computer. I think this technology is a great way to meet, but once the meeting is accomplished, if there is any spark, we should keep those sparks alive with REAL contact as much as possible.
When I find the right man....and I will  my computer time will be greatly reduced. Oh, and I will be out of here! I don't get the part where people who say they have found their one and only staying on "for the forums" . What is that about? Are they so needy for friends that they live in a virtual world? Or are they still shopping on the side? | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 8/20/2007 12:06:28 PM | Does the technology de-humanize us or does it allow us to thrive on very human negative traits? Its kind of like prank calls of the past or grafitti before that. I would argue it dates back to cave dwelling days.
It is comforting to blame our behavior on some technology but is that also a negative trait of not taking responsibility?
I would suggest that staying on or simply being on just for the forums is from a desire to maintain "friendships" or relationships even if they have never been face to face.
Romance is all to often hiding from the pain of broken promises real or imagined. | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 8/20/2007 2:23:35 PM | Ahoythere... WOW! That was DEEP!
Tootsie, "YOU GO GURL!"
Amanda... "thought we had lost you, welcome back aboard!"
Now that I have acknowledge the peeps who responded to my recent post, I wish to elucidate more on what I mean/t AHOYTHEREDAVE...
"Romance is all to often hiding from the pain of broken promises real or imagined."
That is a GREAT thought and possible truth. It struck home that many people may very well be doing just that... "hiding from past hurts".
When I typed what I mentioned in regards to how mainstream technology tends to "dehumanize" people. It was with the very real awareness that I am "AS" guilty as the other feller. But in my case, I do not feel that I "HIDE" behind its use because of past broken promises. But mayhaps AHOYTHERE... because of recent and past broken hopes!
Admit it... we all yearn to meet that one person who will come into our lives and be all that we need and want them to be. My hope by dredging this up was to remind people... that includes myself, that until we get off the emails, the chat, the text'ing... that a KEY component in Romance is lost. The component that involves this "CHEMISTRY" that I hear so many people allude to and is a CRITICAL component to relationships. Granted it has been around now for decades... electronic communication. (ie phone, email, tv, etc)
But how many times have you looked at a picture of someone you are getting to know online and wanted that person to be in front of you? AND of those times, how many times did you contact them repeatedly only to find that they will gladly send you a text, a chat, and email... but will reluctantly meet you or come around you? (BROKEN HOPES) I did something this last weekend. I played the electronic match making game. I invited several people who contacted me to come to the Arlington Party. Of the people I invited, none said they would not make it prior to the event.
Of those people... I had "spoken" to each several times prior to the nite of the event and the nite of the event. Aagain... of those people, after promising to show up, not a One called to explain why they did not make it out. I received TEXT messaged excuses and replies, but no apologies. Especially for the people that were stood up in hopes of having met these people.
This is what I allude to Dave/ALL... it dehumanizes a person. And for me... maybe others, it says that you are not really worth the time it takes to call you. Also, that you are someone I fear their response from... But the big one is that is makes US less accountable for our actions when we mess up. Simply because the person is not there to look you in the eye and to work upon your often times more decent nature.
AND we are all guilty of it! We do not want to face the situation for our fears... and in some cases because we feel that romance is only achieved that way DAVE. I really like what you said about "broken promises..." and I just had to expound on what I was referring to.
Thanks all for reading and listening. This was not a personal attack upon anyone reading. (for the forum mod - lol) I just miss holding hands, laughing and talking, smelling her fragrance, and all the other really great things that you can do when face to face with a person. AND I TRULY hope people do not forget about that.
"CowboyEnuff"
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:05:23 PM | Cowboy,
Yes, I think it is dehumanizing, too. I have met many nice people on here, and a lot of them live somewhere within my area, yet we never see each other face-to-face. I have tried to initiate contact with some of these folks that I email with regularly, and some of them apparantly just aren't interested in human contact.....only emails and chats. What's up with that? I think people are just scared to be hurt again. Scared to "put themselves out there". Or something like that....I just don't know. I would much rather see someone in person or at least talk on the phone, but most of these same people won't talk on the phone, either. Sometimes I wonder if they are trying to keep the cellphone minutes down, but who doesn't have free phone time on weekends??? I am a little relieved to know that it isn't just me who has this problem, I was starting to wonder about that. I have even had a couple of people sort of halfway make plans with me to meet for a drink somewhere, then back out at the last minute.....one guy even did that twice....yet they still want to IM me all the time. ??????? I don't get it.
I really miss romance, too. I really miss having someone to dance with, to watch the stars with, to sing with, laugh with, joke with. | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:26:16 PM | Romance is still very much alive; unfortunately, most have suppressed it deep within themselves. I personally feel it is greatly due to how society has changed and what it has made most of us become which is very unfortunate. Thankfully, I am not one of those for I am a very passionate soul. The following poem speaks of the love I once had and the new love I await....
Finally,
I have found you
On the edge of a wandering dream,
The glimpse of a flickering heart.Amidst a meandering stream
Calling out to you,
On the eve of a fragrant path,
I feel you everyday,
Our hearts joined at last.
I am trapped my love,
An ocean lies between us…
But be, as you have been,
my desire.
Rest my love…
In the yearning of time,
Our path will cross soon.
I hope…one day,
To belong to you.
To live in each’s dreams.
When you came,
When you looked,
My hands felt my heart.
It called out to you,
The night stole my voice,
You stole my desire,
It’s true,
Love is an unwritten book.
I will see you again,
…I stare at the meandering stream….
To embrace the love I’ve found,
Together beyond the moon…
But be, as you have been,
...my hearts comfort,
I will find my way back to you…
My love, my desire… | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:30:40 AM | | Most people want to avoid pain and there are not many pains worse than a broken romance. Many of us have been there and don't want the same thing to happen again. Getting over that fear is difficult. The indirect communication we get online allows us to hide from that possibility. The sad thing is, the "players" are not sincere in the expressions of "love" and are not risking anything emotional. The rest of us are vunerable to their deception nor can we compete with them because of our own fear from the very investment of ourselves that makes us sincere. The Roosefelt speech: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." is so very true about romance. | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:27:33 PM | Getting back on Track...
I saw something this weekend that really inspired me. A friend at the Arlington Singles party thrown for members of this site, met someone this weekend. And right before My Eyes... I saw someone who I would have never figured would ever meet someone... meet someone!
They seemed to compliment each other, and as he came running back over later to tell me the down low on her, I saw her looking around for him then come over and introduce herself. They seem to have similar personalities. He was on his better behavior and I presume she disabused him of some of his best behavior notions when she told a TRULY raunchy joke! And this is normally how he is, when not on his better behavior. 
Seems meeting face to face does have it's merits.
"CowboyEnuff"
P.S. last I heard they have a first date on Wednesday | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 11/13/2007 7:45:37 AM | You know romance is dead when someone you would like to know better tells you their thoughts on dating. And at each phase of the telling, your heart goes out to them because they no longer understand what ROMANCE is. That they have bought into the LIE that is DATING these days. I honestly did not think that this subject and subsequent conversations would hurt or anger me so much. Or maybe it is not anger, but a deep seated dread that I am feeling. A dread that ROMANCE IS BEING KILLED OFF by the unrealistic desires of people.
So be warned that on the day when someone you "talk" to tells you that they feel dating should be YOU spending time taking them out to restaurants, on trips, bread n breakfast, plays, movies, etc. And at no time do they offer to dig into their pockets to help, citing financial difficulty as the reason for feeling that way. REMEMBER that I warned you!!!
GUYS is it me? Am I the only one seeing a problem here?
Now I do not know about you, but I sense a HUGE one! I am willing to share what I have. After all, my moms raised me the correct way. Open doors for women. Place yourself behind their chair to assist if the chair should slide back. Carry the heavy stuff.... etc.
Yet, when you keep meeting women, who feel that their worth is described and bought with a cheap or expensive date or two..... I MUST YELL that "ROMANCE IS DEAD!"
I honestly feel slighted by this person now, cause all I wanted of them was a chance for them to desire getting to know ME better...not my wallet.
"CowboyEnuff"
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 11/14/2007 10:52:16 AM | Romance is dead my friend. I think women killed it.
My idea of romance remains dinner by candelight, a cold windy rainy night with a fire in the fireplace, putting "Titanic" in the player and cuddling on the sofa. 
Not too many women seem to share my ideas though. It suxs. 
- Michael  | |
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| what happened to that thing called ROMANCE?
Posted: 11/14/2007 12:17:00 PM | Thanks Single_Texan...
I can safely say that the person came back after thinking over what they said. And to that end, they never apologized for having stated something that they wanted me to understand. Instead, they blamed me by saying I twisted their words.
I do not know about the rest of you, but I am a literal person. If you say the sky is GRAY, then I am taking you at what you just said and looking up. Does not get any simpler than that.
Single_Texan, wouldn't it be cool if those very same people had to do the asking out, getting up the nerve to talk to someone that probably only wants to go out because sitting at home is no longer an option. Planning an evening out. Then paying for that evening.
If that happened, I seriously think that there would be a HUGE decrease in the BIRTH rates, and a HUGE increase in the mortality rates from all the frustrated people. 
But what do I know, I am just a simple "HOPEFUL" Romantic...
"CowboyEnuff"
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