| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 12/13/2006 1:28:19 PM | One of my best mates at Tech was dissabled, callipers on both legs and as ugly as sin to most folk. He was the nicest bloke I knew, always full of life and didn't feel sorry for himself at all, he just got on with life as best he could. He was a keen driver and always had sporty cars, it's amazing how many folk you can get on a Triumph Spitfire with the roof off.
He managed to hook himself a student nurse and was married for about 4 years. Very sadly he died at 25 and is sorely missed. Now I can't see to type 'cos I'm blubbing too much. Dissabled folks should and can date, it's how "able bodied" folk with small minds percieve them that is the main dissability.
RIP Stevie. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 12/13/2006 3:03:04 PM | I do not think everyone should be treated the same but respected for who they are. There is more to a person than a label of ability and if shallow people cannot see past it that is there own problem.
I have family members who are disabled and work with children with disabilites and what i do not like is peoples attitudes towards them through lack of knowledge and ignorance.
It is up to the individual to inform others about themselves and if they do not like what they hear then they are not worth it. There are people on this site who explain/ mention thier disabilites and do not think that they should have to tell everyone else or have a seperate way of finding others.
I once heard of a woman with autism say she was not disabled but diffabled. Meaning she was just different but still able. This is something that sticks in my mind a lot. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 12/19/2006 2:36:15 AM | Sammi ... my hats off to you, you spoke some valid points there. I just wish there were more people ut there more like you.
I just had a cruel thought ......... the disabled should lie their faces off, not speak the truth and really piss off the abled body people, then they can see what it's really like out there in this cruel, selfish world.
I'd do it , but I'd feel way too guilty and be really ashamed of myself. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/23/2007 7:11:51 PM | You haven't seen any Disabled People here on POF??? Well, you're talking to one right now!
I have Epilepsyand while a lot of women think I'm a nice guy and fun to do stuff with, when it comes to falling in love with her and hoping to start a relationship... I don't have what it takes (nice car, nice house, lots of money for vacations). I never knew those were pre-requisites.
On forums like this, you'll get a lot of women turning on their "It's okay, You'll be fine!" attitude, saying they'd go out with you. In real life though... not bloody likely.
The wives of many of my friends say I'm a great guy, and if they weren't already married, they'd gladly date me. But women who are single wouldn't even think about it. They want someone to drive them places, buy them dinner, take them on a vacation, and then she'll decide if she likes you.
Just 4 You
Victoria, British Columbia
CANADA | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/23/2007 7:30:53 PM | | I went out with a guy for a while he had cerable plausy and had to walk with the aid of crutches , he was really nice, i seen him as a person first, not his disability | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:11:26 AM | | Another thought just occured to me, disabled or not ............... we all splat red. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/2/2007 2:34:13 AM | My answer would be the same as in the Dating a Foreigner thread.
It wouldnt matter to me where they're from, if they have a disability etc. If I loved someone then I'd be with them no matter what. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/2/2007 5:26:43 AM |
I have been watching a programme this morning on BBC1 about people with disabilities trying to find dates. I don't think I have ever seen any disabled peoples profiles on POF so why is this? It made me think when I watched the programme how people on here who are able bodied complain so much about finding a date.
Some people may not consider themselves disabled.
I had 2 muscles removed from my leg and have a slight limp, and some other health problems which do restrict me from doing certain things. But I dont consider myself to be disabled as the things I can't do, dont tend to affect me. I can walk, look after 3 young children and keep my house relatively tidy lol I can drive, albiet in an adapted car, go shopping etc etc. Even a lot of people in wheelchairs dont consider themselves disabled,
I have no problems getting offers of dates, tend to refuse them all as I am concentrating on my health and kids for now, but if the right man comes along.. who knows! | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/2/2007 5:40:34 AM | I think dating for disabled people is fine if you can get beyond the disability and see the person behind it. However, they ought to have the grace to be open about their disability and not be conceited about it to non disabled people (After all, we're not all bigoted towards people that are less fortunate than us). I used to chat to a nut case on here, and she told me about the time she'd met some guy she'd been talking to for about eight weeks. Anyway, they arranged a date and he turned up in a Wheelchair with no legs, just stumps. I think she ran that way ---------------------->
Cedric: rottun beech! | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/2/2007 8:03:07 AM | ^^ I don't think it's a silly question at all^^
it doesn't say in your profile that you are disabled, so therefore aren't you misleading the women on POF by not telling them? | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/2/2007 8:17:31 AM | I dont think so, no.
My disability affects who I am, and I will leave it up to anyone I get to know better to judge wether or not they like my personality. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/16/2007 2:37:42 PM | O Dear! This thread is talking about us and touching our pain!!!
I’m a disabled man (spinal cord injury and wheelchair user). I not afraid to say I’m disable person and explain my situation, as I believe the inside is more important than physical body. Our soul is the main part of our existent, so you cannot judge the person by his body.
I’m very active person and try to do anything possible which able bodied acting in their life, I’ve got many interests driving, travelling, swimming, fishing, reading writing and many …..
I studied many interesting topics and am studying computing at the moment and appreciate knowledge. I know unfortunately some people don’t understand our situation. I’m not blaming anyone, because normally lack information causes it, we have accepted this reality.
I was dating a wonderful lady who was spiritual, open minded, easygoing, understanding, very sensitive and romantic and was really indescribable. She was living in Kent, but, sadly last year she passed away and after that I haven't been lucky to find someone like her. She was older than me (about 53 years old) and we spent the most beautiful moments and enjoyable time together which I never ever forget that. We had different religion, but it never stopped our relationship.
I created my profile and deleted it several times in here, because was disappointed and not being able to find a lovely lady yet. I hope eventually find a right and sweet lady.
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/16/2007 3:12:35 PM | People tend to deal with the hand that they have been dealt.
If I was disabled I think pity & general "wow you do that by yourself" comments would annoy me more than being ignored. (My mum suffered a partially paralysing stroke).
So I would not probably list my disability all over my profile. Just for a change of responses.
People generally persevere, adapt and work round any obstacles where possible.
One thing you can't do is change peoples attitudes quite as easily.
I do however highly respect the streak of perseverance & daily determination.
getting through or adapting to any kind of mental or physical issues.
^^ sorry if any of the above offends anyone
I'm just after feedback if my thinking was correct, or just rubbish. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/16/2007 3:17:55 PM | I dated a guy with tourettes for 2.5 years!! In them days no fooker had heard of tourettes and he said he jerked and made funny noised because his mother had electric shock treatment while she was pregnant
He was also a liar | |
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-LIL-
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 41 | |
| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/16/2007 4:04:11 PM | The guy I'm dating now wears a hearing aid & is near enough profoundly deaf.
So I have to make sure I look at him when I speak to him, as he lip reads...so what, no big deal!!!
I can't believe how many people speak to him & exaggerate their pronunciation of words...Jezuz!!!  no need, don't!!!
VVV
I reckon he's thankful he can switch off round me...
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/16/2007 4:07:14 PM | Dont matter if they're deaf or have tourettes does it lily as long as they've got a huge pen1s which the tourettes guy did  | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/19/2007 9:01:45 AM | I would have no problem dating a disabled lady if the chemistry was right, the same as an able bodied lady! | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/20/2007 1:54:54 AM | | It's kool to actually find people who do not have issues about dating a disabled person. I myself was in a relationship with bloke who was wheelchair bound from cerebal palsy who I may say I did meet on another site. Not a disabled dating site however. He did mention his disability on his profile and also all of his pics had him and his wheelchair in view. I think it's all down to a person's personal acceptance of disabled people and unfortunatly there are too many people happy to talk over someone in a wheelchair than actually to them............. do they not realise that they have lost the use of their legs and not their brains and mouths!!! | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/20/2007 2:22:36 AM | To challenge your point, MarriedGeek,
I'd be disappointed in someone who hides their disability into a profile.
I don't think is a positive thing to decalre after meeting up with someone, because the trust element is damaged, leaving doubt as to what else hads been hid
We laso have to aceept that some people, maybe lots do not prefer to meet people with any disablities. That's up to them, for we are all indivduals with different requirments as to what we want & we should't be criticised for what we prefer, not prefer. (Caveat, personally i can't think of a disability that would deter me)
I back you up on the perserverance point...that just as much applies to parents who stay at home & look after children...&, as any person with a disability would acknowledge, smone would need a lot of those qualities you mentioned to make a realtionship practical
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stevie | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:27:19 AM | | I think that life must be terrible for most disabled people because they lack independence. It is having independence that allows you to go out and find dates. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/26/2008 8:50:00 AM | | So and so. I can visit Praga - Palanga - Yerevan but I cannot find a life mate able to forgive & forget my congenital infirmity. | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/26/2008 9:11:48 AM | I'm disabled, I am deaf - use a hearing aid. Also I walk with a stick,
but hey, here is the good news....
- I don't gamble
- I'm not alcoholic
- I don't owe money
- I won't turn violent on you
- There are no hidden secrets or crazy ex husbands or boyfriends to come out of the proverbial attic and stalk you
All the above things are more important to me, in deciding if someone is a good prospect to date or not.
- My house is my own,
- My life is fine
- Conversation is good
- I'm the best kisser ever..
(laughs)
If disabilities matter to you, that is fine.. we're not right for each other, cos I don't date shallow people.. nah nah nah..
..*move along now, nothing to see here.......* | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:15:08 AM | Mike here...my disability is 1 in 10.000 & I for one havn't had any problems in the past finding a young lady to date, I have dated able bodied young lady's before and i'll do it again, it's in the heart that counts and not what you look like, if a young lady see's beyond any kind of disability, they will see that we... as disabled people are just like everyone else, I have both disabled and able bodied friends both on here and around me, for the pof meets that I have personally attended NO 1 has treated me any different...true friends like, pantsonfire, Bluebrummie, Chrissy, Littlemisslonely, Mysterygirl, Jool33, Vin fourstar and a very personal and tue friend...Brummie_gal.
So you see... life is about getting along and not about petty squabbles... | |
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| Dating for disabled people
Posted: 1/26/2008 10:33:20 AM | Pantsonfire...
In reference to the posting:" don't you think that segragating disabled people like that is Victorian and a draconian way to think... ?? And why assume only disabled people would want to date disabled people??? grrrrr..... "
I personally agree, disabled people may look or sound different but, we as disabled people have feelings e.g...the need to feel love and to be loved, pain, joy, happiness etc...I would personally ask anyone to swap places for 1 month, and see if that person could do the type of things that I personally have had to learn, take a look at my profile pic and tell me "do I not look happy", i'm trying at the moment to develop my dj'ing skills, as there arn't that many disabled dj's around. | |
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