| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/27/2006 10:57:35 AM | | I do agree it's very puzzling and the only one that can tell you what is going on in her head is her. I say email her or however you kept in contact and find out. Maybe she was waiting for you to do the follow up. It could be something that simple and if you connected it seems a shame to let it go. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/27/2006 11:15:02 AM | | Or maybe she thought you had a game. And beat you at your own game? She could be thinking that you wanted sex, and were never going to call her back.. So she did it before you could.. Im positive that wasnt your plan, but a lot of girls/guys think that way | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/27/2006 12:20:53 PM |
OP: Been there done that (was actually two girls at a party). Got used for sex.
Might have been OK with that had they been up-front about it, but they had been talking future plans and I thought dating was to ensue.
Hmm... so two chicks at a party used you for sex, and you thought that you were going to date them?
Was this one party?  | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/28/2006 12:38:43 AM | I wish I could understand why ppl can't be upfront about things like this. There are seversal ladies on here I am interested in, but have no idea if they are in turn, and my not having a pic up atm doesn't help them decide all that much either. But I look at it this way; when I can look into a woman's eyes, I will decide for myself if I am going to ask her, it's not just the physical attraction factor. For me it's not just a case of sleeping with someone, I want to make sure that they enjoy themselves too; becase if the lady I am with doesn't cum, then I am not doing things right.I made that big mistake of not being honest with myself, and let fears of rejection rule when my first date way back when decided that she wanted to play.
At that time I didn't understand everything I needed to, so I ended up letting a woman I was highly attracted to slip away. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 12/28/2006 6:11:32 AM | Hmm... so two chicks at a party used you for sex, and you thought that you were going to date them? Yes, we had plans to go out for one's birthday well prior to sex coming up.
Was this one party? Yes, this was at a single party. The girls were friends who came to the event together.
Since that time, I've been far more careful about checking phone numbers. Also a bit more cynical about people woh make plans until they've come through a few times. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:08:01 PM |
well now that you have had enough time to get over it, write her a letter. Tell her
that you understand that you were used and that that is fine with you. Tell her she
is a wonderful person and that thanks to her you have grown. Tell her that you want her
to be happy too, that she is unique in knowing that she wants sex, and can do
it without the ties. Tell her that you are there for her whenever she needs you. Maybe you will get lucky again. Some men like the chase. I do. Good luck. If it was that
good, and that long of a duration of sex, she's not forgot it. Get her off like no one
ever has. AND..like others have said, be happy and feel fortunate that you were able to
be part of the game. "GOOD THING" baby..gonna make you remember for the rest of
your life..hahaha
I wrote her a letter and she said she was very sorry about the whole thing, but felt she had to do it the way she did because she knows that i want something meaningful.
She was calling herself a b*tch and whatnot. I totally forgave her. Said i'm here if she ever needs to talk.
She did say it was unbelievable. Heres the kicker, she's got a b/f and just wanted to be with someone who actually cared. Very sad. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:09:01 PM |
I don't see the problem with just sex.
Everyone needs the physical stuff, doesnt mean you should have to be in a relationship to get that.
Does no one believe in friends with benefits anymore?
I think i could do FWB if that was clearly laid out from the start. This wasn't. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:11:12 PM |
The feeling does suck. I lost my virginity to a freak who was interested in being a friend with benefits because all she wanted was sex. I was a 24yr old virgin, with plenty of sexual frustration and ignorance built up inside me, and I was a horny little **stard. lol The guy part of me was like: "Yess!!! I'm being used for sex!! awesome!!!". It's every guys dream right? .... well not really. I wanted to bear more meaning in her life, but she just wanted sex. My advice: you gained something to brag about. What you didnt' gain was a woman who doesnt appreciate you and would probably have made your life miserable if you got involved long-term with her. So, move on and just have fun with your life until you find someone who will appreciate you.
I used to laugh at guys who said they were used for sex and the girls that said they were using guys for sex., i couldn't see how that could be possible. but it is. thanks for sharing your experience man. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:14:26 PM |
Oh I so do love it, as in the words of Wykkid yep welcome!!! Hope you enjoy your stay. And I do not mean it nastily, but I have to ask this ever met a girl who you did exactly the same thing too? And be honest.
I honestly haven't, it's not in my nature. Though a growing part inside me does wanna get out and be a bad boy. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:31:20 PM |
Awwwww lol sorry to hear that but this shyt happens to woman all the time. What is the age gap? If she is younger then you then you might want to move on anyways, trust me. She'll just drive you crazy in the future OR she will cheat on you with someone else. Your asking too much of her I think.
Its pretty clear she only wanted one thing and she got it. If I were you I wouldn't talk to her the next time she messages you.
I know, i've got a lot of female friends it's happened to, back when i was a teen i swore i would never be the cause of it. Even though i've had some very tempting offers I have stuck to my guns. It does get easier the more you do. lol
Yeah she is younger than me and i know in the long run, you are right, it wouldn't have worked and i am most likely asking too much of her. Part of me just wanted to protect her from being hurt by jerks, but i can't. yes i have a knight in shining armour complex.
Ummmmm didn't you read his post? Its pretty clear that HE wanted more. Some guys are more about the affection then the sex. Its nice to see he wanted her for more then what she gave him. Ever hear of anything more then JUST sex?
I am definately more about affection. I have very very fond memories of holding each other on the subway and her resting her head on my chest. that was the best thing to happen to me in years. i could have done that all day. that's what made the day special to me. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:31:59 PM |
OP: Been there done that (was actually two girls at a party). Got used for sex.
Might have been OK with that had they been up-front about it, but they had been talking future plans and I thought dating was to ensue.
It does suck when anyone is dishonest like that. You have my sympathy.
LMFAO. thanx | |
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z3t3
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Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 63 | |
| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:44:04 AM | | Well buddy, you're probably just really infatuated with her looks. A beautiful woman can make a lot of the world's problems seem distant and trivial. Changes are she's involved with someone, or does this sort of thing more often than you'd like to think. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:30:25 AM | I get used for sex pretty often being a younger guy who usually sees women a few years older than I am... It's pretty empty and it sucks.
Then again... It's still sex! | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/4/2007 12:54:36 PM | well if you dont like being used for sex dont give it away so easily or look at it for what it really was a knee trembler back at your crib after all if shes done that to you i wonder how many other people shes done it too
or maybe shes having a hard time dealing with how she feels about you | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/8/2007 9:48:08 AM | oh o totallty believe in friends with benefits. i could rant for hours on this but, cut right to it.... doesn't everyone need casual sex??? am i right or am i right | |
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El Efe
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Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 69 | |
| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/8/2007 10:34:01 AM | Dude...HI FIVE!!!
Here is what I think. You gave it up WAY too easy. Women love conflict. And by conflict I mean they love the sexual tension that can exist between two people. It is like an inner conflict they have taking the shape of: "oh wow. this guy is so great and very attractive. are we going to sleep together? does he like me for real? ooo, I like those Jimmy Choos!" You get the idea.
Anyway, you are totally putting this chick, and probably ALL pvssy, on a pedestal. You need to wake the f*ck up and realize you're a member of the Man Club. YOU rule the world. YOU are desirable. And realize that at times even YOU will be used for sex. It happens to me and I love it. Not for the sex, but because it gives me an insight into the type of girl I'm dealing with.
Everything can be learned from, nothing should be regretted.
Everything and nothing, my friend. Everything and nothing.
F. | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/11/2007 10:16:34 AM | | out your league age wise and you sent her home on the bus ? whats a bus ? most likely not impressed at all by the bus episode, maybe she thinks your a cheapskate not having a car ? you got done dude, you got some awesome sex and equally awesome memories thats as far as your gonna get with her, as for women losing it as they get older, losing what ? most women i see or notice on here and in the open get better, more confident, prettier and definitely sexier as they get older, you have a weird perspective lol it was crazy sexual, you dont say how heated things got on line, presumably quite hot gauging the fact she had you naked in no time at all and gave you the best sex of your life, gotta ask are you bragging or complaining lol | |
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| Used for sex and not exactly loving it
Posted: 1/23/2007 11:44:25 AM | ^^^^
I live in Toronto, it's not considered uncool to use public transit here. The city is so gridlocked that there is not stigma to it at all. In fact having a month transit pass is considered a very cool thing.
No it has nothing to do with that, i finally found out from someone who knows her she just wanted to be with someone who cared. Long story i won't get into.
Yes, women do get better with age, no doubt at all. But i dunno, maybe i'm defective or something, but i love PDA and older women, in general do not. It's a trust issue for me, if you have to keep it hidden in public, why is that so?
For me it's about passion and wanting to express it, who gives a damn who might be watching and just being happy to be together, i thought i found that with this girl.
Maybe there was a little bragging at the core. But it's not as much as you might think, i was abstinent for sooooo long, because i wanted my next time to mean something, and for 2 months this girl built up this thing with me.
If you knew me like my friends do, you would get it. I'm not a typical guy like you seem to think.
One last thing, older younger, an amazing female is an amazing female and my opinion on being old or being young is not the physical age, but the state of mind. I know someone 10 years younger than me that acts really old, yet I also know someone who is 15 years older than me that acts very youthful. Attitude is everything!
Why act old if you don't have to? Life is too short. | |
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