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 SteveHD
Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 51
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challengePage 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Have you ever had the unfortunate experence of dating a woman(or man) who was a complete religious zealot?


Just got out of this relationship. Said she had to go a fight a spiritual warfare.

I got lucky and pretty much told her "Have fun storm'n the castle!"

I love her, but I know better than to arugue with the Bible, because it never changes what it says. I also learned that when a woman compares me to God/Jesus, I always come up looking like a loser. I have also learned that I am only ONE voice in this person's life and will be drowned out by her congregation.

More importantly, I can't create such purly emotionally saturated atmosphere that a church of fellow zealots can.


These zealots make it their mission to "turn" you to the "light" rather than build a reasonable relationship.


Yeah, but this had more to do with making her family happy. The funny thing was that I went ahead and gave her religion the old college try. I figured it was important to her and it wouldn't hurt me to learn more about it. When I was going to church...I was a good man according to her peers. The minute I quit going to that church...they just didn't know about me anymore and figured I had taken a turn towards the devil.

My ex was bothered that I didn't really care about these people's opinion when it came to how I should live my life. I loved talking with them and getting their insight into spiritual matters, but when it came to how I should live my life...I drew the line...

I didn't have any issues with it, but her family and church friends (only friends) constantly harped on her how she was throwing her soul away to the devil by dating me....then they would call me up and ask me to come to church.

In the end my ex caught the worst of it. She had people breathing down her neck and condemning her and she couldn't understand why I didn't feel the same peer pressure. It was simple...they weren't my peers.

I made sure she knew I supported her in her beliefs. She told me that it meant we couldn't be together. I told her I still supporter her in her beliefs.

Unfortunately people like tsunny58 can't simply be content that people really don't need or want Christianity to be the center of their lives. They believe that if you are not a Christian than you are in the Devil's hands.


it means eternity.......and I'm looking forward to it


See...that's okay in my book, but could you please sit quietly while you wait to die and join your creator. The rest of us would like to live our lives.

Zealous Christians believe any person who is not Christ-exalting, Cross-cherishing, Spirit-dependent, and living a Bible-saturated life is wasting their life. Don't believe me...read "Don't Waste Your Life" by one of the lead Christian authors, John Piper. Read it all...no matter how sick it makes you.

Let me sum up what I've learned about Christianity and why it becomes a problem when Christian and non-Christians date. I speak of Christianity, because that is what I have the best understanding of.

Christianity want to tell you:

Where to go to school
What to wear
Who to marry
Where to spend your money
What is right and what is wrong
How to spend your money
Who to vote for
What to teach your children
What to read
What to watch
How to raise your children

Christians want to do this and more, and claim they can do it with the authority of God. They have no qualms with using their Freedom of Religion and Freedom of Speech to take those Freedoms away from others.

Good luck to anyone who is involved with this type of relationship. Just keep in mind that a relationship with zealots means you are the other man/woman and are second to their Religion. I strongly advise that you sit down and tell this person you love to follow their heart and re-commit to their faiths. Then let them go.
 newlyBemused
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 52
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 7:07:35 AM
"Spending time in Church no more makes you a Christian than spending time in your garage makes you a car". I've loved that quote ever since I found it. I know people who go to Church who are less 'christian' than most of the people I know who don't attend.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 53
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:30:22 AM
As someone who spent 12 years in Catholic school, and was told on at least one occasion, by an alcoholic, altar-boy-fondling priest, that I was going to hell, I can honestly say I never have and never will date a true zealot. I have no problem with people that go to church regularly and believe in whatever mythos floats their particular boat. Many people I know like that find comfort in that, and as long as they don't try to push it on me I can live with them. But there is no one more close-minded than somebody who thinks they have all the answers, and trying to date somebody like that would be futile.
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 54
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:37:52 AM
I've always felt that I'm better off honoring the divine in my own way. I'm not sure how I feel about religion. I'm a Christian... in as much that I celebrate Christmas... but I'm not sure what I believe. I know I believe in God... but at this stage in my life I'm more inclined to think that all religions are all different roads to the same place. I don't think that wherever we end up when we die is something that we can mentally comprehend.

I've been thinking of re-reading the Bible with some of the missing books. Then maybe I'll read the Canterbury Tales for good measure. The early church is fascinating.
 sassyaquarius
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 55
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:41:52 AM
It would NEVER happen, lol.
 LiL Bohemian
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 56
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 9:29:51 AM
Religious Zealotry is just another name for Religion ADDICTION.

Has all the same traits as addiction - obsession, getting 'high', mood altering and an incessant need for it. Also to try and 'turn on' other people to it.

In no way would I wish to partner with someone using this drug of choice. Does it make them 'pushers'? I don't know.

Anything that takes away your free will and freedom to choose is not a good thing, IMO it has very little to do with genuine spirituality.
 Anti*Hero
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 57
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 10:23:44 AM
I cant do it. Im not religious at all, and I cannot deal with someone trying to force it on me. Its not like im disrespectful to religious people or I hate them or anything, I just dont believe, and dont enjoy people trying to force me to.

I would think it would be hard to have a relationship where two people have such different views. Religious people take the subject to heart, it would cause too many fights.
 hardcoredaydreamer
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 58
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 12:58:12 PM
definately a threeway relationship.
 Crown of Fire
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 59
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 3:05:07 PM

Have you ever had the unfortunate experence of dating a woman(or man) who was a complete religious zealot? A Ned Flanders type.... I mean someone who can't have a conversation without bringing up Jesus, Allah, Budda or who ever? It has to be the hardest thing to do expecially if your not a religious person. These zealots make it their mission to "turn" you to the "light" rather than build a reasonable relationship.

These religious mainacs make even the most insignifigant things impossible....


I've dated (and had a roommate) that were faithless zealots, the kind of people who worshipped themself and took it unto themself to debunk any kind of faith. I'd take a Ned-type any day over those zealots.
 7rainbows
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 60
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 3:11:58 PM
i just tell em im a witch and laugh as they run

cackle cackle poof
 newlyBemused
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 61
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 4:08:17 PM
oops, forgot to stick to the subject at hand. No, haven't dated a religious zealot, as such. Dated someone many years ago who was into seeing auras, reading horoscopes, trying to achieve out of body travel, you know, the hippy kind of stuff - he was interesting for a while but it got old real fast. He insisted my blue aura was hard on his eyes.

Had a couple of Mormon roommates in my single years and met some nice, bright, clean cut, Mormon boys through them, they were fun company.
 Matt Adore
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 62
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 4:57:24 PM
I think that this sums it all up... "Without love, you are sounding brass and a clanging cymball". In short, this means that if you prosylitize for the wrong reasons, you ain't nothing but a noise maker, Lol!

How true is this!?! So many times we are annoyed and offended by someone that just wants to assimilate us. We might as well be sitting next to the precussion section of an orchestra, Lol!

What's the difference between this kind of person and someone like Mother Teresa? I believe that she spent a selfless life serving her God and mankind; and I don't think that anyone would call her a religious Zealot, Lol!

Would I date a religious zealot? No... Would I date Mother Teresa? Lol, No! But I would date a very religious person for sure, because I am one also.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 63
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 5:13:24 PM
Going back, reading the OP again and most of the responses. I'm still stuck with the same question...why? From what I've read, noone is forcing the OP to date this person, it's his own personal choice. And yet he's making it not only the topic of a thread, but seems to be looking for sympathy and/or attention. Sorry, but that's my take on it.
Date who you want to, if you're not comfortable with someone who's a zealot, then using another "religious" symbol, the OP seems to be hunting for the martyr label.
If my observations are anywhere near accurate, then jump down off your cross, noone here has nailed you to, not the person you're dating. You put yourself up there, and I'd think your arms would be tired from being outstretched for so long.
Your imitation of the Christ is not only unflattering but hardly appropriate. Wait til Halloween, and buy the wig and the fake beard. UGH.
You're hardly someone who symbolizes the agnst of human suffering. If you're still dating this person, then show her this thread and then try to wring a shred of sympathy. I'd personally load her one of my best spiked heels to kick your azz to the curb.
 jazzmansmomforever
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 64
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 5:23:07 PM
One of the most important things in a relationship, is that two people are on the save wave length, the same page, in tune,.... etc.
Which means:
Have the same values
Share similar or same religous beliefs
Often share the same politics
Often like the same foods.
Opposites attract, with strengths and weakness. But they do not last in a relationship of core values that are opposite..
No need to attack religon, race, creed, or socio economics. We are what we are.
Unless someone is shooting you, stabbing you, inteferring with your basic right to live, they do not need critisism.
So, if you don't beleive in something, and someone is zealot, it ain't going to work.
For me: It is smoking. I am a non smoker. That is my most important issue. We all have at least one.

S
 cas99999
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 65
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 5:25:28 PM
I have dated a few. SOme have can take a joke about some cant. i wont date anyone that I have to watch what I say every minute that is no fun at all, I think many people mistake morals for religion one has very little to do with the other.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 66
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 5:42:02 PM
"Share similar or same religous beliefs
Often share the same politics"
No disrespect intended, that's your criteria, for many of us it's not. If that is yours and it's important to you, then by all means use that as your benchmark.
Just know there are many successful, happy and long term, loving relationships where the partner's political and religious beliefs were at opposite ends of the spectrum.
It's a matter of tolerance and acceptance, maybe not for all but for some.
It's only as important as you make it.
And cas...I liked your post. I make jokes about being Baptist, there's some great ones...our former pastor...got a lot of good ones from him.
I can joke and laugh about it, not because it's not important to ME, but that's it...it's ME. To others it may or may not matter as much, and I'm comfortable and secure enough that I can laugh about it. I loved my pastor so much, sent him cow jokes...he roared. We related on so many levels...I GOT him, he got me. We just understood, simple as that, and our sense of humor wasn't lost in the mix. And I have to say, that other than my own dear father, my pastor made a huge impact on my life. I still relate to his stories and sermons. He preached and lived like that, a simple yet well educated and well read man. His education and sophistication didn't change the simple tall, skinny boy from South Texas. The success of his ministry and his church is testament to that.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 67
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:03:33 PM
Since all religions have an element of truth to them, and are different paths to the same idea, I am not concerned about what religion a man practices as long as he is moderately religious or nonreligious. I will not date a religious fanatic. As one poster said, religion is like an addiction. I have to deal with one relative who is a crazy religious fanatic, and I cannot be around her for very long.

Politics is a different matter altogether. I have friends of varying political views, but they are just friends. However, with a significant other, it is VERY important to me that he is also a staunch liberal. I am turned off by the disgusting values that conservatives hold, and want no part of such a man. I also feel so strongly about this that a guy who is conservative hits an immediate brick wall as far as I'm concerned. I am flabbergasted at how many people are conservative--conservatism is never in ANYONE"s best interest, from the richest to the poorest. I feel that the love connection would be far stronger with a like minded man who shares my deeply held values.


My friend is a priest, and he has been a huge help in my dealing with the crazy relative. He helps me to realize that she is an addict and not normal in any way.

I do feel that severe religious zealotry is a sign of mental illness. We should feel sorry for religious freaks who are so wrapped up in religion that they have no lives.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 68
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:22:30 PM
Well, I am a spiritual person. I do not however want to be dating someone who is extremely religious in the dogmatic sense and who are of the fire and brimstone type churches which seem like cults to me.
 jimi77
Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 69
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:35:23 PM
Then why date her? That’s why the bible says don't be unequally yoked. Meaning be of the same faith. You where on different pages from the start.

how ever i understand some are over bearing.. as i heard a pastor say once.. ever push a chain? what dose it do? bunch up.. you need to pull people to christ by love and actions not push them.

Now I will look for her post in the religion forms.. ever date a secular zealot?
 looking4u2345
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 70
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:55:40 PM
I had a friend that would go through phases of being kind of extreme. But, these were phases. Usually, this would occur in times of stress. People often do turn to religion in times of hardship. Nothing wrong with that...it can help. But, yea I don't know about that extreme where you can't even have a conversation. Maybe she is having difficulties coping with life. Good luck
 Reverendjack
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 71
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 4/3/2007 8:20:57 PM
oh yes praise the lord and take them panties off
 ladybrytt
Joined: 7/5/2005
Msg: 72
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 4/3/2007 8:50:53 PM
Well this string is interesting. After ten months of dating ,my muslim bf up and broke up with me because I was not muslim. Like it wasn't obvious ten months earlier??? But the fact is I was serious about him and I told him I would take "lessons" in order to convert but he had to wait until a certain date. Let me tell you, with 4 weeks to go until that date, he dumped me without any sign and via text message. He also told me that if I converted I would fail anyway so why waste time? (Because Canadians cannot leave their lifestyle or be disciplined). It was devistating! But this is something I dealt with everyday, and actually I'm glad that I don't have to hear anymore about Allah or that music he played in the truck all the time. Yes he was trying to save me... But as a non-religious girl I had more morality in my uneducated pinky finger than he had in his whole body.
 sexy_temptress
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 73
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 4/3/2007 10:09:38 PM
I am not a big fan of religious people....let alone, zealots and fanatics. I find something " eerie " and " not human " about them. I found that the ****iest, most gossipy, foul-mouthed girl in my office before was a religious zealot. She went on about how her religion is key but yet she literally back-stabbed, criticized and gave the meanest comments to people. She got switched to different depts all the time, simply bc people didn't like her. It was baffling...people were baffled at how religious she was and yet she was so.....hateful.

But it's not just about this one girl...I have my own complex beliefs and view points about religion, which basically puts me in the agnostic and " almost atheist " category. So, no, I would NOT ( actually, I would VEHEMENTLY ) refuse to go out with someone who is a zealot.
 Pitmaster
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 74
Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 4/3/2007 10:35:34 PM
Ordered a Mephistopheles Stout at an alehouse to try it. My date took offense at the name, and the label, accused me of being a follower of Satan. Peeled the label off to adorn my fridge where now it wards off "evil spirits"
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 75
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Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:37:56 PM
Jazzmansmom put it very well in a post above mine. But Pitmaster, you rock! I love the idea of getting a brew like that to help scare away both "evil spirits" and religious zealots!!
I'll drink to that!
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