| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 6:47:25 PM | | I think the people(women?) bashing this girl SHOULD be bashing the MARRIED JERK ??? Shes not the one who is married? HELLO PEOPLE ?? I dont agree having a close up of ones boobs on the profile is appropriate, or ones penis for that matter, but why would that mean that a married man would hit on her instead of a single man ?? Jerks are jerks and she is very attractive "covered up" or not ? Cut her some slack for what alot of us decent attractive women put up with !!! | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 6:53:25 PM | Sorry, I don't think your pic had a thing to do with it. Inexperience maybe. The apartment you went to could have been "borrowed" from a buddy. This type of stuff goes on all the time, to both men and women, and yes, it's a learning experience. It can also be a dangerous experience.
Being older, and hopefully wiser, I would suggest the following for the younger crowd:
1. When you meet someone on the internet and you decide to meet in person, before doing so, be sure to have full name, address, (including city and state), type of car (year, make, and model), license plate number, home phone number, place of employment, and a printed picture.
2. Get busy on the internet, go the the city page of their home city, check their municipal court listings to see if they have any cases listed. Go to their state page, to the judicial section, most of them are connected to case.net, and check to see if they have a case history there.
3. Go to switchboard.com or anywho.com (even if they say they only have a cell phone) and see if there are any telephone listings under their name or their initials that match the address and city they claim to live in.
4. If you get bells going off, back off and don't meet this person!
Do your homework. Never ever simply believe someone. Not only that, but leave all of the above information with someone you trust and tell them that if you do not contact them by a certain time, for them to call the police and provide the police with the information of whom you are with, including the picture. This goes for men as well as women. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 6:58:49 PM | Gee, let's burn the witch at the stake why don't we? Or am I having a bad day so I should go into the forums and rip on someone to make me feel better? I'm not 21 anymore, so I will be vicious. I'm sorry, but what did the poor girl do to deserve it? She posted a pic of her chest. I think I'll go rip on any person, male or female who did the same thing! I thought the dark ages were over!
There are some very smooth (at least they think so! ) people in the world. There is no way of knowing what the guy was doing right off the bat, some have gotten away with it for years! Wives die, they leave, they do all sorts of things they know nothing about. You're not the first to experience this sceme, and I doubt you'll be the last. Just be glad it's not YOU he's married to, and chalk it up to experience.
'River | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 6:58:57 PM | | Your not dumb.. he's an a$$ | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:00:59 PM | Really I don't think you are dumb at all. We can ask all the right questions, but it is hard to tell if they are lying, when they are sociopaths.
He was married, he did wrong, he is the one who had the commitment. He is the one who lied to you and to his family.
I am suspecting he just rented out that apartment to complete the facade that he was single.
As for the pics, how can anyone say they attract married men? I am sure they attract many men, so what. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:04:23 PM | The way you describe his apartment it sounds more like his flop house. If it didnt have a land line then his wife probably doesnt know about the apartment.
Dont worry about your pics. Just because you have a boob shot posted I dont think that means you are a boob. The guy is a slimball and he took advantage of you. Dont let people blame you for HIS disgusting behaviour.
Learn to watch for warning signs. If he doesnt have a landline then something has to be up. I do know a couple of people that only use cellphones as they find it a waste of money to have a landline also but most people do. Take a good look at his ring finger and look for a tan line. Tell the next guy you meet that if he turns out to be married or have a gf you will tell his wife and help her chop his bits off.  | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:06:05 PM | OP: You're still young. Intelligence and wisdom comes with age and experience. Learn from this and it won't happen again.
MALES are slimy, not men. Choose to date a man instead. The older you get, the easier it will become to tell the difference. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:11:17 PM | @Safe Sane Single -msg #25 appreciate the post..... you state "It is wrong to label anybody" and yet you you state..."......most men on these websites are married and 99.9% are just looking for a booty call", you also say, "Most men lie and most men cheat. That is a fact. And it really does not matter how you are dressed because most men are just looking for a booty call anyway." Was wondering where you sited these stats?
@Safe Sane Single -msg #26 you say, "I wish there was a site to post all of these married men who lie to us women about being married. We could put their names up there along with their photos. And hopefully their wives would see them." I would definitely support this great idea....especially if you added married women to the list.... 0:) -good one..... I wish you the very best in finding a wonderful guy! 
@the OP.... I am very sorry that you have been taken advantage of....sad...sooner or later that married guy will get his own...
Sad that everyone is critical of everyones pics......I do believe everyone knows that POF does edit pictures that are inappropriate......and all your pictures have passed....
Anyway, please be very careful in the selection process there are wolves out there and it might save you some heartaches... Chin-up and get fishing young lady. 
Wishing everyone a very happy and successful Christmas!
0:)
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:23:10 PM | I am sorry to see that alot of people have been placing the blame on you. The fact of the matter is, the guy lied to you, and you don't deserve that... no one does. And, some of the comments... about your clothing, well, that's a load of B.S. If you feel comfortable in your clothes and how you look, than more power to you.
I have had friends date guys only to find out that the guy already had someone in their life. Some of these girls are a bit wild and others are extremely conservative. But regardless of their "type", we cannot forget the fact that, everyone has feelings and it hurts to find out that you have been putting your heart into a reltionship that was one sided.
As far as avoiding making the same mistake again. I have included a few tips that I hope will help.
1. Spend time in public places... this includes dinners, movies, walks through the local park, etc.
2. When you are out, pay attention to his body language. If he doesn't hold your hand, or show any affection that indicates that you are more than friends, or if he always wants to "stay in" (at your place or his) he may be trying to hide you.. potentially from another woman
3. See who he introduces you to, and who he is willing to meet. By this, he doesn't have to meet your parents after your first date or anything but if he is interested in something more than a quick fix than he will probably be willing to meet your friends and want to start introducing you to his after a few weeks or so.
4. Do not have sex too soon. If a guy is really interested in you than I think that he will wait for sex... but if he is just looking for quick sex than he won't wait it out (I am not talking about years.. but make sure that you know him well enough before you jump into bed with him)
I hope that helped and I pray that this past experience doesn't taint your view about men. There are good ones out there but if remain bitter and angry about this experience than you may miss out on the meeting the right one.
Oh, and as for the many comments about him only having a cell phone... that doesn't mean anything. In this day and age, alot of people have opted out of the land line because a cell phone is portable and having only one phone number can save $$$. I only have a cell and I assure you, it's not so that I can go cheating on anyone!!!!
Best of luck!!!! | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:47:01 PM | | It happens - the very first gal I got interested in (on the net) when I first became single was married. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:59:26 PM | | Very dumb actually. During the 3 months that you dated him you should have ask him at least once if the two of you could go to his place. Try that next time it will prevent the slimey creep from taking advantage of clueless women. Its called common sense . | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:05:42 PM |
STRAWBERRYSABS:
I had been dating a guy I met here for about 3 months. It turns out he's married, and his wife is pregnant. How did I not realize that he was married, or lying to me? Why is it so easy for these f'ing creeps to lie to me, and use me?
How can men be so slimey?
First of all, I am sorry you got hurt. I read your other post where you mentioned his apartment was messy and lacked food, so you thought he was a bachelor.
You are a beautiful, young woman, you really do not need to post boob pics on your profile - enough men will contact you without them. Also mentioning clubbing in your profile, men have a certain view of women who frequent clubs and bars...
Try to look at it as a learning experience. Many women fall head over heels for men who are physically attractive and will hear what they want to hear. I'm guessing the guy was really handsome, so you let your guard down and heard what you wanted to hear and could not see any warning signs. That's life. If you choose guys who are less physically attractive, you do not fall head over heels for, you will be able to see warning signs.
Ways to prevent it from happening in the future....the best way to screen men is to have another man (your friend or relative) meet the guy and hang out for an hour or so. Best wishes. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:12:37 PM | also your profile.. party girl like clubs and partying.. then as they said you advertise with the nothing but Boobs shot.. yes u are real young but umm use your head and think what kind of image that all projects.and yes i agree with the fell that said u are gorgeous u dont need the boob shot. Sweet N Louisiana   | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:29:46 PM | i really like the pics of your hooters, hunny! woof-woof!! ...sssssslurp-pant-pant!!! and hubba-hubba!!! ahoooooooooooo!!!!!!! will you date me next, busty bunny? hey, i'm a wolf and you're showing me meat. whaddaya expect? john-boy walton?
chow! you're friendly neighborhood wolf, Lupo | |
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kjz
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Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:54:43 PM | | Get yor facts straight. I have had women cheat on me and not once have I thought about cheating. You are either morally good or bad. Most people don't have the courage to hold true to themselves and that is where they become corrupt. People also label others as cheaters because they themselves are. They think that because they cheat everyone else thinks like them. I don't agree that all men lie and cheat and same goes for women. If I thought that way I would never date another woman, but I think there are some out there who can be true to themselves, you just have to put in the time to finding them. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 10:03:14 PM | First I would like to say your pic's are very tasteful,and you haters should be ashmed of yourselves.
Im 49 have three children,two exwive's and I still havent figured this crap out.I assume the vast majority of us havent so dont disspare.
You are a beautiful girl and im sure you'll break your share of hearts before its all said and done,and you'll probablly screw over a couple of guy's along the way.Hell you've allready broken mine im to damn old for you so anyway have a  and dont let the  's beat you. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 10:21:21 PM | Your twenty one. Have you ever had a girlfriend stab you in the back?
Girl friend please , BEWARE OF SLIME BAGS!
Look before you leap, sorry you ran into an
A-hole. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 10:22:56 PM | Well, 3 months is not all that long to have kept your undies on your bottom. So not much lost.
LOTS of either gender will lie about their status.
IF they are only available during their work hours, disappear suddenly, no land line number anywhere, short dates limited to other areas (OH and do not forget that even going to 'their place' does not mean all that much as many have friends that are quite comfortable with lending out the keys -- even if the friend personally knows the wife and kiddies)
Such is life and little c commitment for all too many (if it gets a bit rough find another) | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 10:33:24 PM | | u put urself in that position..not that he is slimey..u allowed urself to be slimed.. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 7:52:54 AM | I really want to know how DID you find out? What was it that gave him away? Did the wife get in touch with you? Give others a hand in how to find out, that is, if you did anything to help yourself out.
Pass on the info  to let others know more. Thanks.
Gypsy | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 7:57:24 AM | | Some guys just don't understand. Some women just don't understand. Welcome to planet earth. | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 8:02:19 AM | first not all men are slimey..the same can be said for some women
i'm not defending this creep...obviously he is a liar, and quite good at it
best you can do is forget about him, if you can...eventually all creeps
and creepettes get what they deserve...don't feel sorry for yourself, feel
sorry for his pregnant wife and unborn child | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 8:06:21 AM | | That is really an unfair thing to say -- thats loike saying someone is asking to get rapped by the way they choose to dress... face it the guy is a cheat | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 8:10:14 AM | | How about letting his wife know! he would think twice before decieving the next girlfriend | |
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| How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 8:22:47 AM | now now joycie...revenge is never the answer...live and grow from this, and let your success be his agony...or some such crap...
look, i'm sorry, i'm still laughing. I can be mean like that sometimes. Just makes me realise that some people have it worse off than, well, me. Make yourself a little checklist, and somewhere near the top, ensure that you have "Not Married with Pregnant Wife". Just look at it this way...how worse could it be...you could have gotten pregnant to him...now -that- would make a good story.
Summary;
You got involved with a scumbag and lived to tell the tale. Learn from it. Life is full of these lessons. | |
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