| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/18/2006 11:47:42 AM | Yes..but Elwood P. Dowd also said, and I quote:
I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whomever I'm with. , we all have a right to be happy, you can make a lot of friends here, and you can never have too many friends..I'd be happy with just one! | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/18/2006 11:59:30 AM | For the ladies, as an aside, but oddly still to the point: Would you rather hold out for Mr. Right or play with Mr. Happy?
 
Dr. Phil is trying to show us that in the process of winning an argument, or trying to, we might win the battle but lose the war. Let's say you do manage to browbeat your mate into accepting your assertions. But it took an hour or a week and they hate you for it. You have earned their resentment at what cost?
But what if you decide that for the sake of being happy, you will drop the issue, and so she does go ahead and hire her boss's nephew to do the landscaping and he botches the job and you can't sue him because you'll get fired? In that case you are still going to wind up being miserable. It's a much more complicated question than is seems at first. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/18/2006 1:26:04 PM | I'd rather be happy, but I'd also rather not be a doormat. So this means in a relationship if being right is important, happiness is going to have to take a back seat. On the small stuff I'll always compromise.
A world where I'd be really happy would be "Dr. Phil"-less. I can avoid watching his show, but not listening to his annoying drawl on commercials before the news. I just don't get this guy's appeal.
Sigh.
PS: In answer to hazy vista's question, of course the answer is hold out for Mr. Right. After all, he's gonna have a Mr. Happy too.
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/18/2006 2:51:55 PM | | It directly depends on the situation for me. There are times when I've opted for 'happy' and drop a subject (especially when it comes to close friends and family members). And there are other times when it's just not worth dropping (with so-called friends). | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/18/2006 3:00:00 PM |
A world where I'd be really happy would be "Dr. Phil"-less. I can avoid watching his show, but not listening to his annoying drawl on commercials before the news. I just don't get this guy's appeal.
Sigh.
Right on alexandria! *snicker, snort and snicker*  | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/18/2006 3:09:03 PM | Well thankyou for your responses, a very interesting read. Unfortunately, I still have not come up with my views as I am still pondering......When I have figured it out, I shall return!  | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/18/2006 3:22:56 PM |
it directly depends on the situation for me. there are times when I've opted for 'happy' and drop a subject (especially when it comes to close friends and family members). And there are times when it's just not worth dropping (with so-called friends).
could not have said it better myself. I agree 100%
kenny | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/18/2006 10:58:14 PM | I've got this "thing" inside me. It tells me when something bad will happen to someone I care about. It's the most accurate gut instinct those around me have experienced. It's a curse, because it's always right! (And I'm not talking about little things going wrong. I'm talking about car accidents, emergency surgery, or someone being deported!)
In the end, I'd much rather be happy than right. Of course, I have to be right, and that definately leaves me feeling unhappy... | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 4:40:39 AM | | Got it! Unless a person IS right then they cannot be happy. If we have to make a decision then we have to be right with that decision in order to be happy. So I guess I'll have to choose 'right'.....and wonder why I had to start a thread that I found difficult to answer! | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:15:35 AM | It's funny, seeing that statement popular these days due to Phil. Similar things have been said elsewhere, (if not that exact phrase) in inspirational, occult, self help etc. books for many many years.
I don't like the way I act when happy for the most part, and I don't believe in right and wrong in a moral sense, they're just opinions. If by right you mean correct, then yeah, ok. I would like to create my own answer and say I would rather be correct and content than to get caught up in funny happy dances and righteousness. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:18:29 AM | Dr. Phils an idiot.
But with that being said... I'd rather be happy than right, I can swallow my pride long enough to avoid a fight of who's right and who's wrong. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:26:00 AM | there is no sure answer to dat question bcuz even though some people are right they are still not happy. so it really depends on wat u think or being right and being happy really is. For me I'm happy with wat I got even though I am not the right 1 at times but u cant always be right now can u? wat would it be like if the two of u were always right? You have 2 agree 2 disagree sometimes and I tink dat might help u out a lot!!  | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:33:37 AM | if one is right about something,in the end of whatever it will come out in the wash anyways
i"d rather be happy,then be right and miserable.......... | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:42:27 AM | I'd rather not take simplistic advice from a pseudu-doctor.
Some will fight to the death of the relationship to be "right".
Some will acquiescence to anything within the relationship no matter how destructive it is in the interest of maintaining harmony.
Most of us fall into the gray area. That's where most of life falls but of course, it doesn't sell millions of books either. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:44:25 AM | Marriage and relationships are all about love. Love is all about giving without taking and putting the other person above yourself. Not being selfish.
I would prefer to be happy. The question can be qualified with asking what is the issue regarding. 90% of issues are really pretty insignificant.
Some issues are significant and those are the ones you need to do some serious soul searching about. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:50:16 AM |
Some will acquiescence to anything within the relationship
I always thought "acquiescence" was a brand of fizzy mineral water, the very basis of our being here is to share and learn from each other....and I am both right and happy. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 5:52:55 AM | Votes for happy. I'm always right, anyway...*teasing grin*
I always loved the line that he's met Ms. Right...her first name is Always!
I am willing to respect, tolerate and accept that other people feel, see and think differently than I do. I'd rather spend the rest of my life happy.
Dev | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 6:00:27 AM | I remember a friend of mine who happened to be a very smart senior,who once told me that "only a fool is always right".
In computer security, business and politics, I see overwhelming evidence that more often than not, people choose the easy way instead of the right way.
Relationships are situational and the players complex and unique. What works for one couple may not work for others.
If you are able to give up your extrinsic need to be right for the sake of peace and harmony, then there is nothing wrong with that , and there may be happiness to be gained from your personal decision. In this case, you may have done the easier thing AND the right thing. Some people could throw the entire relationship into the garbage can, simply because they have to be right. If it is over something trivial, then it is all a waste of time and energy.
You may also internally take satisfaction that you know you are really right, and that your personal maturity is something commendable, because you have sacrificed your need to be right for the overall better outcome of peace and harmony.
If you are juvenile enough to have to always be right, then you had better be with someone laid back and mature. If you are with someone who has to be always right, then you have to recognize that you have to be mature enough to always give in and be prepared to not have a say in things, because you are married to Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 48 | |
| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 12/19/2006 8:18:32 AM | Wow, you mean people actually read my posts? Thanx Juliet!
Regardless of who actually said the quote, it was one that really made me think about relationships as a whole. Sometimes we're so bent on being right, that we forget about the issue at hand and how silly some things are to argue about.We tend to forget about our partners feelings, and the reason for arguing to begin with.
That being said, there are certain things that people will feel very strongly about, and when there is a disagreement( about a major issue) between two people living together, it can sometimes be difficult to come to some compromise.
The way I see it is....if there are too many huge issues that you and your partner disagree with, maybe you two aren't compatible after all, especially if you can't find some common ground. At the same time, if you're always trying to prove a point for stupid things, we really need to start letting it go, and concentrate on the more important things at hand.
I agree you should always stand up for what you believe in, but within reason. Some things are just not worth arguing about, and those are the things I would rather not even bother with if, it means that it will uselessly cause friction within my relationship....JMO | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 5:35:29 PM | I would rather be happy with the right person  I tend to see this question in different terms i.e. can you be happy if you are not with the right person? My experience and ego tell me that you cannot be happy with the person who is not right for you. But there are so many gray areas between being right and being happy that I find the whole question to be rather silly. You can be right about many, many things and not be happy and you can be happy while being wrong about many, many things. The question is philosophically rather ridicules don't ya think? In terms of relationships, there has to be compromise if you are with the right person. If you are with the wrong person, it really doesn't matter because no matter what you do, say, give, take, it simply won't work if you are not compatible with that person. I speak from personal experience, of course because I'm usually right Of course I am, that's why I ended up with the wrong person! | |
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