| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 6:45:15 PM | I am very happy to be wrong from time to time. My ego and pride need the reminder.
In a relationship it doesn't matter to me who's right of wrong. As a whole, when one fails we both fail, when one achieves we both achieve. That connection as a whole makes me happy. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 7:18:17 PM | | Excellent question. The excessive need for many people in this forum to appear right certainly explains why they're constantly ranting angrily...... and still single. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 7:21:26 PM |
I am very happy to be wrong from time to time. My ego and pride need the reminder.
In a relationship it doesn't matter to me who's right of wrong. As a whole, when one fails we both fail, when one achieves we both achieve. That connection as a whole makes me happy.
^^^A great answer Rock. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 7:39:42 PM |
I am very happy to be wrong from time to time. My ego and pride need the reminder.
Humble Pie actually is delicious! It has a mixture of humility berry which is tart...some learning which is sweet, a pinch of listening and seasoned with reasoning.
Side effects? It makes your head come back to normal, your ego shrinks a bit and you are on the same level as everyone else. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:05:28 PM |
Excellent question. The excessive need for many people in this forum to appear right certainly explains why they're constantly ranting angrily...... and still single.
Very true Raphael. There are some people on the forums who have to be right at all costs. They don't care who they insult or step on. They can't see that there are multiple points of view.
Those people I just ignore. I see their name, I don't even read the post.
Happy or Right? Happy  | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:09:03 PM | | Being right no matter what was one of the big things that ended my parents marriage. Even when she was wrong and knew it she was right. There is no shame in being wrong, its called being humble. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:32:24 PM | | I choose to be a happy bi tch rather than be an angry hypocrite who often forgets who s/he really is and what s/he really wants 'cause s/he is always busy with saying right, looking right and doing right...oh yeah I know some Btw who decides what's right or wrong for me??? Dr Phill? Judge Judy? lol | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:32:48 PM |
I am very happy to be wrong from time to time. My ego and pride need the reminder.
In a relationship it doesn't matter to me who's right of wrong. As a whole, when one fails we both fail, when one achieves we both achieve. That connection as a whole makes me happy.
Ya know, you're starting to become a God to me.
All kidding aside, I agree with what you wrote. Nice job young man.
I too appreciate the "humble moments" (as I call them) in life. May not always enjoy them, but they are neccessary and beneficial.
Sometimes it's about right and wrong, but usually, within a reasonably compatible relationship, it's more about different.
Then it follows, that if the ones envolved take the time to communicate and accept the diffrences, it tends to make them happy.
I think most of us want to be accepted for our individuality (considering reasonable compatability) within a loving relationship. I do!
Guess I just don't see (most) black or white questions within my realm of reasonable compatability for me. Funny, the older I get the wider the grey area gets, for me.
just a few thoughts | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:38:47 PM | But you see, young grasshopper, if happy is the right answer, then by choosing happy you are choosing right, which is, in fact, wrong because otherwise, happy would have to be wrong (given the either/or nature of the question and its demand for a true/not true response), which, being right, cannot be wrong.
Therefore, that eliminates happy and leaves only right because, sadly, it seems happy is impossible.
Now, give me back my damn pebble. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 9:21:39 PM | You guys cut-that-out!
It gets so sweet when ya'll show-up that I need galoshes (sp?) (ok, waders) to wade through the stickyness!
On Topic:
I think being right for ones self, and allowing the same for another, does NOT neccessarily exclude either from being happy.
It's kind of like, agreeing to disagree. IMO.
just a thought | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 9:35:48 PM | This is a question asked when someone insists on being vindicated in a position that someone significant to them refuses to concede, and the unresolvable dispute has become the destructive focus of the relationship. The question is intended to suggest that the relationship may be more important than "winning" the one dispute. The more important the dispute is to a person, the more difficult it is to "let it go."
For some a core value may be involved and these relationships may be doomed because they "have" to be right. Others may have confused their sense of self-worth or self-respect with being right, and other measures to assure them can be substituted for winning the dispute; they can choose to be happy.
Because there are some core values that each of us defend almost to the death, there is no blanket correct answer to the question. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 10:49:05 PM | Right or happy.
Being right is exclusive, where there is an opposite i.e. wrong.
Happy on the other hand is inclusive, there is no counter balance requirement.
We can all be happy but we can not all be right sort of thing.
Unfortunately, people tend to think by being firstly right that they will be happy – not so.
Hence people force their value system onto others trying to be happy by being right.
I may not be right in what I wrote, but I’m happy I did.
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 11:04:28 PM | Happiness can be a truffle, seeking it can keep one from experiencing some really amazing things they take for granted; thinking the grass is greener and not realizing they are in a garden of wildflowers already they don't bother to see...
I'd rather be content...
Being right is all perspective (and the needing to shove it in someone else's face can be a conflict bringer), being happy is a choice; but being content means being at peace with onesself and one's own situation. Choose the one; the others usually follow...
(plus, knowing no one is ALWAYS right is a pretty freeing admission as well...) | |
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PiggyT
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Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 69 | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/24/2009 11:02:39 AM | Dr. Phil, that unctuous phony, ripped the expression off of Werner Erhard, who copped it and paraphrased it from God knows where, but to answer the question, would I rather be 'right' or 'happy'?...I'd...I'd...rather be dead.
PS: I'm not single so being a smart ass is not the reason I'm still on POF and can't get anybody.
PPS: say hello to my mascot.  (He's happy!) | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/24/2009 11:09:02 AM | Do I really have to make the choice between the two? Perhaps it would help to get a definition of "right".
I'd hope I don't have to stifly what I believe in to be with someone. That's not a good trade off is it?
It seems to me Dr Phil is paid a lot of money to be "right" when others are "wrong" and prides himself on being "right" so it's funny he would propose they are mutually exclusive in relationships since he obviously enjoys the luxury of both.
I'm not a fan of Dr Phil. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/24/2009 11:09:20 AM | Do I really have to make the choice between the two? Perhaps it would help to get a definition of "right".
I'd hope I don't have to stifle what I believe in to be with someone. That's not a good trade off is it?
It seems to me Dr Phil is paid a lot of money to be "right" when others are "wrong" and prides himself on being "right" so it's funny he would propose they are mutually exclusive in relationships since he obviously enjoys the luxury of both.
I'm not a fan of Dr Phil. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/24/2009 11:25:16 AM |
choose the easy way instead of the right way
is easy happy?
I was going to go with "happy"
But now I am wondering, what about when you have to do the "right" thing?
That doesn't always make me happy--- but I will generally choose it. | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:01:44 PM | Doc Phil is a troublemaker. Also, he's not really a doctor, but that's another story.
As far as the ANCIENT question of whether it's better or wiser to give in to a spouse to keep the peace (the translated version of the question), I tried that for about 15 years. Marriage over, time lost.
The other version of the question is, should personal ego take precedence over working as a couple? Answer: for children, yes. For grownups, no.
Next dumb Doctor Philism? | |
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| Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:31:30 PM |
Dr. Phil, that unctuous phony, ripped the expression off of Werner Erhard, who copped it and paraphrased it from God knows where
Most of Werner's stuff is repackaged buddhism.
(hi mascot)
As there is no "the truth" generally there is not a one concrete version of "right". I'm rarely worried about right or wrong, preferring to focus on does it work or not? Is it effective or not? So, no, I don't have much investment in being right. | |
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