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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/21/2006 10:52:51 AM | It has happened exactly twice in my lifetime that I've met women and become their friends without ever wanting to make the relationship into anything more.
And the only reason that continues is because they live in Italy while I'm here in Canada!
It's also happened only once in my life that I managed to "upgrade" a friendship to something sexy. I'm very happy for that... a lot of men, aren't so lucky.
Part of the reason so many guys have difficulty with the whole "friends list" dilemma is the way men and women approach attraction.
For the mostpart, a man will form a serious emotional bond with a woman only after a good period of time has gone by (in my case it's usually 2 weeks, though recently it's taken me a lot more time to that emotional attachment to form). We want to have sex, however, with people that we are both physically attracted to as well as people that we are emotionally attracted to (or, rather, we begin to see physical qualities we like in people we are emotionally attached to, where we didn't see them before).
Thus, many times, a man will enter into a relationship with a woman he is NOT physically attracted to only to later realize that he has feelings for her. This is masculine behavior - there's nothing we can do about it, it's just the way we function.
That's what makes the best players in the world (the "a$sholes", if you will): they don't WANT to know what a woman is really like. They don't want to hear about her hopes and dreams, her stories, her fears, her little eccentricities, and all those other things that would make them grow fond of her. All they focus on is building sexual chemistry ... and this kind of detached attitude works!
Women, unfortunately for us men, tend to develop an intense sexual attraction that is dependant upon a fluctuation of emotional responses. The more rapidly a woman's emotions will shift during an interaction with a man, the more she will perceive the interaction as having "chemistry". Most men don't know this, so they only try to get one reaction out of her (joy, or laughter, but exclussively, not as part of a greater range). So if there is chemistry from the very beginning of an interaction (say, within the first few minutes of two people meeting), generally a woman will be open-minded about sex with that person, assuming the chemistry remains until bedtime.
So guys, to avoid being on the "friend's list", you have make sure there is chemistry. And anybody can do it, because it really requires provocation! When you meet a woman for the first time, don't slam the door in your face by being overly nice. Provoke emotions in her! Make her laugh for one minute, then say something totally absurd the next! When she starts getting comfortable with the idea that you say funny things, say something that will make her think. Then try pointing out that which you don't like about her, and before she gets really mad, twist it around and make her laugh again, only to tease her and make her angry a second time - and NEVER appologize for it! Then, contrast everything with opposing body language to send plenty of mixed signals her way ("his eyes and smile tells me that he likes me, but he keeps calling me Dorothey because of my red shoes which he hates... what the hell is he doing?!")
This is how you avoid getting caught in her web of friendship. Keep your doors open! | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/21/2006 1:23:33 PM | I'm sorry but this doesn't work on me at all...any other women agree with me? I don't like games, I don't play games...and if a guy is trying to play games like that with me....then i'm gone...he eithr likes me and shows me or he's history....i'm not competing to win his attention...
I had a guy last night online who kept complimenting me then gave me a condescending remark to erase it....he told me i needed to lighten up, kept making me think i had a problem since i could not deal with his ''wise ass'' attitude...i blocked him...
it is a mark of an abuser to tell you great things about yourself and then make you think you're not quite good enough for them...to say...you're beautiful then turn around and say...every thought about botox? or going to a gym? there is a method to their madness, and i lived with a mental abuser for 7 years and dated another for 4 years...i know the signs now...I had one try me back in the spring...he tried (unsuccessfully) to make me question everything about myself...his game was to get me to let him move in with me...this was after three weeks of dating...i told him to go find a ''needy'' woman, i was too independent for that crap....last i heard, he did just that | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/21/2006 1:35:49 PM | So guys, to avoid being on the "friend's list", you have make sure there is chemistry. And anybody can do it, because it really requires provocation! When you meet a woman for the first time, don't slam the door in your face by being overly nice. Provoke emotions in her! Make her laugh for one minute, then say something totally absurd the next! When she starts getting comfortable with the idea that you say funny things, say something that will make her think. Then try pointing out that which you don't like about her, and before she gets really mad, twist it around and make her laugh again, only to tease her and make her angry a second time - and NEVER appologize for it! Then, contrast everything with opposing body language to send plenty of mixed signals her way ("his eyes and smile tells me that he likes me, but he keeps calling me Dorothey because of my red shoes which he hates... what the hell is he doing?!")
That won't work for me, not sure about anyone else. I think you should avoid being a doormat and stay interesting and part of the process, but you go into the friend zone based on physical attraction and chemistry first and foremost. So no matter how you act, if we aren't into the physical with you, then that's where it ends. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/21/2006 1:57:09 PM |
Search google for "the ladder theory"
Thankyou Jarbarian, I didn't know about this! | |
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calaf
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Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 55 | |
| The just friends list
Posted: 12/21/2006 3:55:42 PM | That is an interesting theory griff, but i just don't buy it. I have another woman friend and she says a woman is either attracted to a guy or not. I think the list is just for nice guys who don't have that chemistry. verygreeneyez said it very concisely.
Belly - you wonder if guys stay friends with a woman in the hope of getting some? I try not to do this. It can be hard to tell with 100% certainty why we do things though. There is always that thought in the back of my mind. Don't people's tastes change with time? I used to hate broccoli but now I like it. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/22/2006 4:41:25 PM | And you know I have lots of women friends. In fact I have more female than male friends.
So this would make you gay right. | |
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pensky
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Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| The just friends list
Posted: 12/22/2006 6:47:04 PM | | I have had male friends that I was attracted to physically and some that I wasn't. (This is not to say that I have many close, male friends at any given time.) The difference in an opposite sex friend and a same sex friend (if you're heterosexual) is that sex factor. All my male friends either know me well enough to know I've got bigger priorities than finding a sex partner, or they don't know me well enough, but know my reputation. When I have sex with someone, I lose a tad of myself and my life gets more complicated. So it's hardly worth it at the friendship level. It takes a lot more than friendship and sexual attraction for me to start a serious relationship. It takes me wanting to entrust a big part of my life to someone. That person has to be truly exceptional. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/29/2006 3:06:50 AM | To TheDancingQueen,
I partly take issue with your perspective, but only because I know you speak from your own experiences. (But it's my belief that you're experiences are too limited.)
Both you and the author are off-kilter by a few degrees.
The author is off because he is talking about cannibalizing an ordinary friendship with a woman to achieve romantic gratification.
You are off because you can't help it -- despite your intellect, you are in your twenties, and people in that age group mostly judge each other based on the most superficial, surface values, especially looks. You are a "10" (or damn close), and therefore enjoy a kind of unearned (and possibly undesired) celebrity that makes you a target of desire that precludes the need of a personality, brain or heart.
And I would expect your pulchritude is likely so distracting that most guys couldn't see those other things about you if you shoved them up their noses -- they aren't even interested most of the time. And I'm sure this can be frustrating if not draining to you. Therefore, the likelihood of a platonic friendship with you is too difficult: your physical aesthetic calls to most men's hormones like the Sirens. You are too beautiful for your own good. And like a movie starlet, everyone wants a piece of you -- no one really wants to contribute anything.
So I can't fault you for your perspective. But it is still not accurate, albeit true for you personally. I have always had many gal pals, and have never once contemplated crossing the line from platonic friend to lover. And it is because I maintain this division between the two that I've maintained my female friendships for as long as my male friendships; and will likely still be good friends with my gal pals into my 80s, just as with my best male friends.
The one thing I know about women is: a woman will bend over backwards for any man who doesn't ask her to bend over backwards.
But the rewards for me are substantial. My friendships with my gal pals are air-tight because they know -- not just suspect -- that they are safe around me and feel comfortable. One of my proudest moments in one of my friendships came when, during a crisis, a gal pal told me that I was the only one she could trust.
What most men don't understand is that because women get fed up with being sought out like so much meat, it becomes an insult to them when a "friend" wants to cross that boundary into romance, if only because they see a legitimate friendship as a refuge from the phony, snake-oil false sentiments projected by sleazy guys trying to use them for sex while trying to make them feel as if they are understood and appreciated for who they actually are.
Men don't commonly recognize that when a woman sees him as a platonic friend, that this is a deliberate categorization and it will disturb her if this apple cart gets turned over. A woman typically thinks more highly of man she is "just" friends with, only if because she sees most suitors as cheap sluts trying to exploit her. Men are typically seen in a very dim light by women these days (whether they deserve it or not). But a male friend is not so much immasculated as simply regarded as safe and trustworthy as family, this wholesomeness at risk of being traded in for a "predator" label if he wishes to change his status.
There is a French writer (whose name escapes me) who said that a man should only take in marriage a woman who he would select as a friend if she were a man. Good advice. Whereas to most men, opportunity is more important than compatibility, this quote stresses commonality where it counts between two people.
And this is where the author should be considered correct, because, as Dear Abbey once stated, "Love is a friendship that has caught on fire." And that's the way it should be. But because of the kind of thuggish, macho, ignorant world a young lady faces these days, it's impossible for a guy to get the benefit of the doubt. And for that matter the author himself shows his true colors of insincerity and selfishness when he refers to upgrading his status with a female friend as one that should afford him "sex." So he indicts himself as the same kind of user that women despise men as being. So he shoots himself down as he speaks. His idea of upgrading his friendship is not based on love (which will beget sex eventually anyway), but the instant gratification of sex. He actually demotes himself to a user, desiring to TRADE his friendship, not upgrade it, for the right to exploit his friend for sexual gratification. Truly disgusting. What a load of crap.
If a friendship escalates, it should be to love. In true love, romantic expression of physical intimacy should be mutually desired, both lovebirds should be on the same page. Lovemaking is something that should be eagerly GIVEN to each other, not TAKEN via some means of deception or slight of hand.
Women often complain that the men they take on as "significant others" don't understand the meaning of friendship or partnership. I'm sure you are one of them. And this is likely why you believe that legitimate friendship with a man is not possible. Guys your age are immature, ignorant, and unworldly -- period. Perhaps you should try an older guy, someone who actually grasps the difference.
But as for me, part of the secret of keeping a flawless track record of never crossing the wrong boundary with a gal pal is that I only make friends with women who, although I might find physically attractive on some level, are females I already detect up front are people I would enjoy close company with but would NEVER marry, for possessing traits I know I couldn't put up with in private quarters and who don't offer me enough overall compatibility to make a 40+-year marriage work.
It isn't that men and women can't be friends, it's just a woman can't achieve a successful friendship with an insincere man who thinks with his****
I'm an intelligent guy and I've never let the short term possiblities of romance jeopardize the long term benefits of valued commrodarie. I didn't have to be taught this. I was lucky enough to have parents that weren't f**king idiots. I simply know better than to think with my**** It's real simple.
But thanks to the ghetto-mentality that rappers have been allowed to pollute pop culture with (and I won't even hear any arguments here -- I used to teach in the same town I grew up in, and I've seen the difference in thinking in my own home town first-hand), the anti-intellectual, unworldly, thug-macho-sh*thead way of objectifying women as a plug-in appliance has run rampant.
Men have become real pigs in the last twenty years. And though there's guys like me who have been benched most of their lives because women are just as stupid for going after the "bad boys" who treat them like crap and leave them disallusioned about men, even the "nice guys" aren't as nice anymore.
In any event, my point here is that it is VERY possible for men and women to be platonic friends. You just have to know what one is and actually desire to be one.
And, for what it's worth, DancingQueen, despite your bombshell killer looks (and believe me, I just about melt every time I see your picture), all you'd have to do is tell me you wouldn't enjoy slow dancing to Frank Sinatra or Nat King Cole and didn't care much for The Beatles, and that would be the end of it for me. Platonic friendship as the maximum would be assured.
My future will take me to Broadway and hopefully the Top 40 as a songwriter. No matter how beautiful you are, I would never let myself bond with you if you didn't at least like musicals, Sinatra or The Beatles. My interests are as varied as your own, including wanting to invent a flying car using a Ford Mustang GT, but the music thing is too crucial to me. And it's only fair to the girl, too. I've written over a thousand songs, most influenced by these people, so if she didn't like them, she would probably be unhappy with having to hear all the new songs I'd try out on her. I'm not prejudiced or elitist, I'm just practical and realistic.
Your perspective is drawn from being over-exposed to man-whores who don't have the strength to stand behind the minimum of decent values, especially when sacrifice and denial of gratification are involved. When you start hanging out with a better class of men (that is, men who have class), you'll see what I'm saying as being more real.
I hope this offers some manner of clarification, Jeff | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/29/2006 6:18:24 AM | I know this is the "Ask a Girl" forum but I can't help but pass on some advice for our young friend. Whenever I wonder about an action to be taken across gender lines I always ask it both ways. For example, I have LOTS of women friends, we have similar interests, we see each other boating, gardening, seminars, church etc. But I'm not going to have sex with them or move the relationship unless I could see a reasonable hope of success as a committed couple.
I have had dinner with some of them and found I didn't want to become involved beyond the friends level. We were able to stay friends because no uncomfortable boundaries were crossed. If you throw sex into a friendly relationship, it spoils a lot of things. I can't imagine being without my friends, any woman I meet and start a romance with, will just have to be the kind of person that can embrace this reality. | |
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pensky
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Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 60 | |
| The just friends list
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:18:35 AM | That griff066 has taught me something. He's right. That's amazing:
"The more rapidly a woman's emotions will shift during an interaction with a man, the more she will perceive the interaction as having 'chemistry'"
This is very true. The man just needs to know how much is enough and how much is too much at a given time with a particular woman.
I've never really cared to know that. It was so easy to believe in magic, till now.
Thanks for bursting my little balloon, griff. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:28:16 AM | You make a very interesting argument, beatlesfanyeah, but I've got to disagree with some of your points here.
First point of contention is this:
What most men don't understand is that because women get fed up with being sought out like so much meat, it becomes an insult to them when a "friend" wants to cross that boundary into romance, if only because they see a legitimate friendship as a refuge from the phony, snake-oil false sentiments projected by sleazy guys trying to use them for sex while trying to make them feel as if they are understood and appreciated for who they actually are.
Men don't commonly recognize that when a woman sees him as a platonic friend, that this is a deliberate categorization and it will disturb her if this apple cart gets turned over. A woman typically thinks more highly of man she is "just" friends with, only if because she sees most suitors as cheap sluts trying to exploit her. [...] But a male friend is not so much immasculated as simply regarded as safe and trustworthy as family, this wholesomeness at risk of being traded in for a "predator" label if he wishes to change his status.
Okay, slow down for a second. The image you are portraying is that somehow women all over the world are clasping their hands in prayer saying "woe are we that men should want to have sexual intercourse with us!", as they lament every relationship they've ever had because they see all their boyfriends as predators, and they as victims for having fallen for them.
This is just not reality, at any age. Women want sex and relationships. They want them under a different set of circumstances than men, but they want them nonetheless. And to think that a man that wishes to court a woman must somehow be a man-slut is sexist to men, and completely unrealistic to our basic human nature.
Another point you make that I disagree with:
"Love is a friendship that has caught on fire." And that's the way it should be. But because of the kind of thuggish, macho, ignorant world a young lady faces these days, it's impossible for a guy to get the benefit of the doubt. And for that matter the author himself shows his true colors of insincerity and selfishness when he refers to upgrading his status with a female friend as one that should afford him "sex." So he indicts himself as the same kind of user that women despise men as being. So he shoots himself down as he speaks. His idea of upgrading his friendship is not based on love (which will beget sex eventually anyway), but the instant gratification of sex. He actually demotes himself to a user, desiring to TRADE his friendship, not upgrade it, for the right to exploit his friend for sexual gratification. Truly disgusting. What a load of crap.
Again, hold on a minute. I will be the first to agree that if a friendship were to truly turn into a romance, it would be one of the strongest, most long-lasting relationships possible (I know this because it is, in fact, how my own parents came together). But, this is the exception, not the rule. Not by a longshot! There are hundreds of times more testimonies of men that wanted to upgrade a friendship to a relationship, only to hear women say "no" than those that said "yes".
It is furthermore offensive to assume that men are only looking to f-ck their friends. Men make relationships with people they like, and sometimes form emotional attachments that lead them to want to pursue a deeper level of relationship.
Hell, even YOU recognize this, as presented with this following statement:
But as for me, part of the secret of keeping a flawless track record of never crossing the wrong boundary with a gal pal is that I only make friends with women who, although I might find physically attractive on some level, are females I already detect up front are people I would enjoy close company with but would NEVER marry, for possessing traits I know I couldn't put up with in private quarters and who don't offer me enough overall compatibility to make a 40+-year marriage work.
See? If you were ever to make friends with a woman that would not have the obvious flaws you look out for - or perhaps because you did not see all the the attractive qualities she had until you got to know her a lot better - you would definitely fall for her. And then, would you really chastise yourself for thinking that you're a man-slut - somehow you're a moral degenerate for feeling this way? Or would you instead say "damn... I wish I knew this about her before I became her friend, because I would love to pursue a romantic relationship with her! Maybe it's not too late..."
It is THIS dilemma, and not the "I wanna f-ck my friends" that gets men more often than not. This is the masculine plight - because when we develop romantic feelings for a friend, they are very, very powerful. And ultimately indescribably painful when (nearly invariably) the friend refuses our advances.
This is an extremely tired story, and not new to this generation - it has nothing to do with what you might refer to as the declining quality of men in this world, and everything to do with masculine psychology. Many men fall victim to this every day... those that don't are either those that discipline themselves (by making friends with people they don't want to have romantic relationships with the way you do, for example) or that don't have the chance to form a bond in the first place (like The Dancing Queen's solution of simply not accepting male friends for concern that she'll feel like she's leading them on).
So go easy on the anti-male rhetoric. In the dating world, men have a difficult enough time as it is. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:43:53 AM | I've made the jump from 'friends' list a few times over the years....tho I must admit it was ALWAYS their idea. I was clueless about their change of heart until they told me.
My current GF & I were just friends for 5 years......we had always thought the other was relatively attractive (discovered after the fact), but there was ZERO flirting, innuendo, etc. I had never even entertained the idea of hitting on her or anything else like that.
The only clue I have into her past mindset is that when she did break the ice & kiss me out of the blue, she said 'I've always wondered what that would be like'. Maybe I was on the 'friends w/ possibilities' list. Who knows?
I know for sure I would have NEVER done anything like that to her or any other female friend. I was kinda ticked off that she had broken that barrier like that & let her know it.
Obviously that didn't last long..... | |
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calaf
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Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 63 | |
| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:18:36 PM | Did Beatlesfan actually call me a cannibal? Take a chill pill dude! All I was saying is that I think it is best to really get to know a woman before taking the relationship to the physical level. But I do kind of like that title - Calaf the love cannibal. I may change my headline!
I was also wondering if there was something about a woman being friends witha man that made him off limits as a lover. It looks like that is not what happens. It seems that a guy must have that special chemistry for a woman and if he doesn't have it they can just be friends. That is cool - except fot Dancing Queen. It might actually be possible for her too if she didn't go around hald naked all the time.
Look -nightwing has made the jump. Good going there my man. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:51:54 PM | | It is best to really get to know someone before entering a relationship and of course it should be a mutual decision to do so. Definitly, friendship should be the base of a relationship if one really wants a healthy one. I've always believed in that. He may be a 'friend' in the beginning, but who is to say after sometime spending time together by getting to know each other that may change? Two people can be friends for years before even thinking of moving their friendship to the next level which I've seen offline happening. No one can know this for sure when and if this is going to happen. If not moving a friendship to the next level should be ok as well. Or at least I would hope. Sounds like some people on POF cannot be simply be friends with someone. They don't understand the concept of being friends and not getting to know someone before entering a possible relationship. Maybe it's the lack of them not having experiences with real friendships it seems or knowing how to keep them. Men and women can be friends. It's simply just hanging out. There is no romantic chemistry with the guy friends I have and wouldn't dream of it. To me they're like brothers. I guess being happy with one self first and foremost would attract someone in possibly wanting to move their friendship with you on to the next level if it's meant to be. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:58:01 PM | | My buddies are my buddies because I didnt feel that kind of chemistry right from the get go. And to be honest, no one has ever grown on me enough to lift their status to boyfriend. Dont get me wrong, I adore my guy friends. Just not in that way. | |
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calaf
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Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 66 | |
| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 4:02:48 PM | | That's been my attitude Black, but it seems like most women here are saying that they know if they have that kind of chemistry with a guy in the first 5 minutes of meeting him. And if he doesn't have it he just doesn't have it - just like I Love Hockey said. Maybe that is a topic for another thread - can chemistry be acqired? How about it Hockey? what if you got hit in the head by a hockey puck or something? Aren't there foods that you used to hate, but now like? | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 4:41:40 PM | | To be honest, nope. As soon as I call them a friend, thats it. Food and chemistry are two very different things. If its not there, its just not there.... there is no changing it. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:54:38 PM | I recently changed my profile to friends because I started dateing a woman here that I respect a lot and would like to eventually end up sharing the rest of my life with if all goes well. and even though we are just dateing I just wouldnt feel comfortable dateing other women but I do enjoy chatting with some people I have met here.and get a lot of good advise from one of them that has turned into a very good friend. so I just hang out here to meet more friends and I mean friends nothing else. to hell with the fringe benefits some people have a lot to offer without sleeping with them and hopefully that works the same on this end. just my opinion | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:09:33 PM | I almost fell off my chair when I read this one!
I don't have guy friends. A guy doesn't want to be your friend, he wants to sleep with you. I don't have them because I see it as leading a guy on for no good reason. Even if you tell a guy that you don't want to have a relationship with them, they will still try to sleep with you if you let them hang around long enough.
I see other women do it and it's because they want attention. The ones who do it the most are the ones who crave attention because they just can't get it anywhere else and they have to hoard it with the few guys that will give it to them.
If you want my advice, if you meet a girl with alot of friends who are guys, then it would be easier on your life if you just avoided her. As for moving guys outside of the friend zone, only if you win the state lottery with most girls. Or when those girls get old, fat and desperate and can't get anyone else.
Who's the one looking for attention with her boobs hangin out all over the place? I mean they are nice I suppose but give you a couple years and a few kids and you'll look just like the rest of us....and maybe some common sense too I hope cause friends are friends despite what gender they are....some of my very best friends are guys. I've learned with AGE that most male friends will not stab you in the back like some women will.
And to the OP, whats so wrong with being on the friend list? at least you made a list, I know alot of guys who don't even get that far. You have possibly just not met the right "friend" yet...patience is a virtue, maybe you've met her and you don't know it yet. Sex does not instantly make a guy a boyfriend, it does move it to another level though but definately not boyfriend status right away....and a real relationship takes time, not just a couple really good orgasms. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:35:21 PM | | Take it from a guy. Not all guys want to sleep with you. Some guys just have enough respect to get to know you first. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:55:41 PM | | But when he knows you well enough to know what invokes your emotion. Majikal won't begin to explain the experiance. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 12/30/2006 11:22:24 PM | Two of the most intense and wonderful relationships I have had, started out as nothing more than friendships. The first, I thought was relatively attractive, but just didn't feel that "chemisry" with him until I got to know him better.....almost a yr later. It lasted almost 5 yrs...... The second, I was casual friends with for 15 yrs.....we started getting to know each other better and the sparks flew! That one ended after just under a yr, and we remain friends.
I want friendship first and it's clear that some men choose not to accept that. That's ok with me. I also have friends that the initial chemistry was there, but after getting to know them....it fizzled and we are just friends because we have compatible interests and still "like" each other. Getting to know someone and developing a friendship can open doors to something more.....or not. You just never know. I cherish my male friends, and just for the record, I don't burden them with things that I could use help with (ie:physical labor)....I have 2 sons for that, lol! They do offer to help, but I rarely accept. If I really think someone is going to be in the "just friends" zone forever, I'm very straightforward about it. Just my experiences. | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 1/8/2007 4:50:28 PM | | wow did I make a mistake and I wasn't out for the peice of azz at all, well it goes without saying that everyone eventually wants that or what the hell's the point. I can be single some women think all guys are after is a peice of azz but how many women are after that??? it's been my experence that there just as into that as any guy. hell I try to not even go there for a while but the woman sometimes is the one that wants that as much as me and who am I to refuse lol. I get a kick out of some of these posts. hell I woulden't even give some of these a second look. there that ought to get some shit going. I like a good laugh as much as the next guy or girl or what ever. lighten the fk up! | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:51:01 AM | Ladies,
How to do you put a woman on the Friend's List, without hurting her feelings? | |
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| The just friends list
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:09:47 PM | that shouldn't be so tough,just let her know that allyou are looking for is a friend. Does that sound bad? I am very new at this, so forgive me if I sound off key here. For me right now, that would make me more comfortable. But then, I'm just learning about these chat room things. | |
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