| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/18/2008 7:08:20 PM | | A lot of men think that their beer belly is ok, yet they would never date a woman with a beer belly, maybe a big bum would be ok to them. Or perhaps they want a girl with a big chest, but never consider that their man-boobs are bigger. Actually I think that more men will not date overweight women than the other way around. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/18/2008 8:46:09 PM | | Well I can relate to this big time. I am 5'8" tall and I used to weigh 375 lbs. That's right 25 lbs. shy of the big 400! I love to eat. One day I noticed I felt tired all the time and that I was always thirsty. The more sodas and sweet tea I drank the thirstier I became. I went to the doctor and just as I suspected I was diabetic. He told me if I didn't 't lose weight, change my eating habits and excecise. I would be on insulin in a year and dead in another. So I said I don't want to die of course, he gave me some pills and I went home and started walking every night around 10:00 pm so people wouldn't be likely to notice me. In a few days I started jogging some of the 2 mile route. Then I was jogging all of it. Three months later I was 35 lbs lighter. Then before I knew it I was 190 lbs. Muscle weighs more than fat and carrying around all that fat while jogging helps build muscle. Today I weigh 190 lbs. I no longer take any medication. Hell at 47 years old I even date the 27 year old daughter who's parents are close Friends of mine. I said all that to say I know there are some women who don't have a bit of trouble loving a big man. I do believe that the majority of them would prefer a trim man. What I do know is both men and women who prefer the trim people are missing out on some great people and some passionate love. Hang in there Rocky. Just be who you are and know you are a beautiful person. Being big is fine as long as you stay healthy. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 9/19/2008 7:20:43 AM | I have found, much to my disappointment, that in the cyber-dating world the term "romantic" is synonymous with "desperate", "needy" and "clingy". I tend to avoid "romantic" profiles, and instead head straight for the "in your face honesty...even if you don't like it" type.
Weight & height have nothing to do with it...my FWB is a heavier, average looking guy with a SEXY brain! | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/8/2009 10:49:07 PM | Hi Rocky,
You stated your weight at 229
I looked at your profile and you look fairly average.
I also look fairly average.
When I was 19/20 I weighed 250 and was dating very attractive girls of all sizes.
I am 46 now, much heavier, single again, and I am still dating attractive women of all sizes.
It's not your weight.
I don't know you, but the looks/weight is just not the end all and be all of female attraction. There are "plenty of fish" that like larger guys specifically, and plenty that just don't care about size or looks.
There is another reason.
Why won't I date skinny women?
Average size is OK, but not skinny.
Personal preference.
Rail thin runway models may be facially pretty, but most of them might as well be a boy for all the physical attraction I would feel for them.
I like curves. I like VERY big curves even more. (bbw/ssbbw)
Good luck,
Rob | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 12:26:00 AM |
ok, I know I am going to get some flack for this, but according to Dr. Oz (Oprah's pal) a man gains an inch of penis for every 30 lbs he loses....So, one could conclude that if you are overweight you most likely have a small penis, or perhaps it just gets hidden...
LOL.
You mean I've got a footlong and didn't know it?
LOLOLOLOLOL.
Nah, honestly it is partially true but the 1"/30lbs is way off base. I once lost over a hundred pounds and only gained about 3/4 inch from the padding getting thinner. Maybe it depends on how someone is built down there?? | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 5:42:47 AM | | Everyone has their own criteria.. mine certainly does not disqualify someone because of their physical attributes or body type.. I am attracted to a mans mind and so shallow outward things are irrlevant to me keep loving who you are and others will find you attractive also.. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:34:03 AM | Guess you're going to have to find a nice, romantic, overweight woman-!
Then you can "enable" each other to be happy the way you are, or both get on a diet and exercise regimen and lose the weight together-! Either way, you're in the same psychological mindset, and isn't that what the "inside" is all about-?
There's a psychology that goes with being overweight, and a psychology that goes with losing the weight. Some of it is metabolic and genetic (only so much you can do with the body God gave you), but some of it is psychological, stuffing emotions with food.
Ever watch Biggest Loser couples? It's on NBC Tuesday nights. That show inspires the hell out of me to work out harder, and I'm not even overweight. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:45:48 AM |
You stated your weight at 229
I looked at your profile and you look fairly average.
He doesn't look fairly average! He also doesn't look to be a "few extra pounds" as listed on his profile. I AM a few extra pounds. I have also weighed 250 pounds, so I know the difference. I don't mind a bit of weight, but obesity is another matter.
Women don't date grossly overweight men for several reasons; the obvious reason is that some women find such men (and men find such women) unattractive. There is also the health factor.
There is also the consideration of sex with obese men, but I won't go into that. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:33:17 AM | The answer seems very simple here:
If you are fat, date fat girls.
If you are "average", then date "average" girls.
If you are toned and fit, date toned and fit girls.
A fit guy dating a fat girl, or a fit girl dating a fat guy is just not a healthy idea. (yikes!)
It is the simple "Law of Physical Attraction" | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:41:57 AM | Plus your idea of "healthy lifestyles" will COMPLETELY differ. Yeah, it's true, some stick-thin thing in her early 20s won't HAVE to exercise to look stick thin, but, generally, fitness comes from an active lifestyle. How can a thin person possibly relate to or have anything in common with a fat person? What ends up happening is the thin one succumbs to the fat one's lifestyle, one of laziness and overeating, and then you've got two fat people, one very fat, one somewhat fat. Either way, you both enable each other's deteriorating health. For health reasons, even though it's work (and it's work that I happen to enjoy with a passion), it's a good idea to have two people who ENJOY working up a good sweat.
Watch Biggest Loser on NBC next Tuesday night. It's always inspiring! These two Greek guys (father and son) lost over 150 pounds in, I believe, 11 weeks, through diet and working their asses off in the gym for several hours a day with these intense, caring trainers (that Jillian chick is a hard-core b-tch from hell but she really cares)...they keep losing 10 pounds a week, and they look and feel great! | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:41:57 AM | Have you given much thought that nice, overweight women sometimes think the same?
Unfortunately, weight has been debated to DEATH on these forums. The term overweight has such a stigma to it.
The thing that has riled me is the way overweight people get treated, and on some of these forums, it's gotten really ugly. Because people may be different, or may not fit the "ideal" of what attraction is, doesn't mean we should treat them with disrespect.
Also, the notion that "thin people are healthy" is not always an accurate picture, either. Thin people can suffer from high blood pressures, heart attacks, cancer, etc.
It boils down to people are attracted to certain characteristics in others that meet their "ideals". Personally, I wouldn't be attracted to a man that is built like Santa Claus or Humpty Dumpty, partly out of fear that he wouldn't be capable of doing the same activities that I enjoy doing (hiking, biking, boating, travelling, horseback riding). I suspect that men feel the same way when they see pics of me on POF, simply because I have a few extra pounds.
Bottom line with online dating, is looks may initially open the doors, but in itself, won't sustain a relationship for long. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 12:48:45 PM |
The answer seems very simple here:
If you are fat, date fat girls.
If you are "average", then date "average" girls.
If you are toned and fit, date toned and fit girls.
A fit guy dating a fat girl, or a fit girl dating a fat guy is just not a healthy idea. (yikes!)
It is the simple "Law of Physical Attraction"
Not to offend (I am always PC), but does this mean that you always date heavily muscled women who stand around flexing their biceps?
I do agree, though: Smart women should ONLY date smart men, etc., etc., etc.
The term overweight has such a stigma to it.
The thing that has riled me is the way overweight people get treated, and on some of these forums, it's gotten really ugly.
On POF, I think part of the reason why overweight people are spoken of badly is because of the misrepresentation on profiles. MANY overweight men and women list themselves as "average" and MANY obese men and women list themselves as " a few extra pounds." I am overweight, am quite honest about it, and have never felt a stigma or that I have been treated badly or had negative things said to me about my weight.
In real life, I am not so sure that being a bit "overweight" carries a heavy stigma: obesity does.
When people on POF badmouth me, it is because at times, I am a bit vehement in my posts. (Wicked grin.) | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/9/2009 11:01:37 PM | | OP - Maybe you should consider a profile review in the profile feedback section. Lots of people there will help you tweak your profile to generate interest. It's probably not as much about your height/weight as you might think........... | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:15:12 AM |
The answer seems very simple here:
If you are fat, date fat girls.
If you are "average", then date "average" girls.
If you are toned and fit, date toned and fit girls.
A fit guy dating a fat girl, or a fit girl dating a fat guy is just not a healthy idea. (yikes!)
It is the simple "Law of Physical Attraction"
So by these rules you should only date idiots... | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:37:09 AM | wow. It's always the linebackers that get pissed. lol.
Say, when you wear yellow do people run after you and yell "TAXI!"
Give me a break lady... I really don't care what a 48 yr old "seperated" fat woman with no kids thinks of me.
You shouldn't insult others. It doesn't feel good does it?
I can see why your husband left you.
Get a life will ya?
And stop "hating"
btw.. I can guarantee I have FAR more education than you AND make more money.
What the f*ck is your problem? You think you are a good catch???
Maybe for an old man.
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hip89
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Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 273 | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:23:30 PM |
daveincarson Joined: 1/15/2008 Msg: 272 view profile History Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen Posted: 5/10/2009 10  09 AM wow. It's always the linebackers that get pissed. lol. Say, when you wear yellow do people run after you and yell "TAXI!" Give me a break lady... I really don't care what a 48 yr old "seperated" fat woman with no kids thinks of me. You shouldn't insult others. It doesn't feel good does it? I can see why your husband left you. Get a life will ya? And stop "hating" btw.. I can guarantee I have FAR more education than you AND make more money. What the f*ck is your problem? You think you are a good catch??? Maybe for an old man.
she made an admittedly rather snarky response to a rather prejudiced post of yours (lumping all individuals into categories is prejudiced - it's pre judging them by stereotypes rather than by individual characteristics)... and you respond with further insults... you tell her to stop "hating" - do you really consider your post, *loving*?
is it going to accomplish anything, other than show that you know how to lash out viciously and appear on your profile so that those lovely thin ladies you hope to attract can see how you talk to people...?
answering the op. : i'd prefer to date an older overweight man, than a younger rude one | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/10/2009 1:52:34 PM | I'm relatively new here and this is the second time I have looked into the Forums. I also am a 50 year old, plus size, single woman who is so "thankful" she begins her Masters Degree in the fall. When completed I will be of "some value" to society...lol...
I was certain I would begin reading and would hear women telling the gentleman he "hadn't met the right woman yet" or to "love himself more so he could receive."
I suspect I felt this way because I have had several very positive experiences with men here.
But instead, I"m sitting here with tears stinging my eyes worrying not only for him, but for the "very attractive" woman who dared question "Mr. Perfect, muscle builder who is light years ahead of anyone in education."
I realize I'm lowering myself to even dignify his comment with an answer and setting myself up to be insulted as she was.
However, it was so insulting, I can't remain silent. I also went to his profile to view all his accomplishments and his perfection, and much to my surprise the first sentence he himself writes is "I give up".
Mr. Daveincarson, maybe this is why you are having problems. The woman you insulted is a truly beautiful woman and might actually teach you how to be loving and accepting and in turn soften your heart.
Since I am older, and also have a Bachelor's Degree, which seems to mean so much to you, let me remind you and some others who have been so outspoken. ................
Looks fade. | |
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