| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/16/2009 7:24:19 PM |
The answer seems very simple here:
If you are fat, date fat girls.
If you are "average", then date "average" girls.
If you are toned and fit, date toned and fit girls.
A fit guy dating a fat girl, or a fit girl dating a fat guy is just not a healthy idea. (yikes!)
It is the simple "Law of Physical Attraction"
I notice a lot of these kinds of posts from guys with no game. They don't understand why big guys get hot women, so they decide that's it's unhealthy or wrong. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/17/2009 1:45:24 AM | Have friends both male and female who have dated and fell in love with someone who is overweight or fat. What made the difference is the person with the weight problem, actually was working to get fit and healthy.
Personally I cannot handle someone in my life who has no desire to be or get fit and healthy, and thus loose weight. Reason being I have had to work hard to lose some weight that I gained after my husband died.
~Beth~ | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/17/2009 5:40:49 AM | The outside is what people look at first...Im by all standards over weight but carry it well....big framed...lifted over the yrs....but still heavy....I look at the inside when I date...oh the outside to but mainly the inside....because the stability and compatability of the persons more important when in any type of dating situation.Todays standards for alot of people is totally physical....thats too bad...because alot of the time they are disappointed......stay with it....and good luck! | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 5/18/2009 7:21:43 PM | | Why do people ask questions like this? The reason a woman won't date such-n-such physical type is the same reason why a man won't date ___fill-in-the-blank physical type. C'mon now people. If you're going to have physical standards than everyone else is too. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:53:36 PM | | If I cannot see my ankles around the man's neck, it is not happening. Hard enough to do when they are in shape. So that is ONE reason I will not date an over weight gentleman. It is about attraction. KID....yes, you can get a date. Start driving down the 75 South. :) | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:09:01 PM | | The thing about internet dating is you go on a site look at a profile and the first thing you look for is the pic. As much as it sucks people do judge books by their covers. Maybe you should take your pic off your profile and come up with a good subject line instead and put a lot of detail into your written desrciptions on your page. Let people get to know you better by emialing or talking then show them a picture hopefully by that time they will have gotten to know you on the inside and won't care about the fact that you are overweight because they will like you for you. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:38:28 PM | I think it is just "human nature" to be attracted to whom we are attracted....Some people prefer tall, some blondes, some educated, some religious..you get it, it's just what we find appealing. (Think of it as the same as people having different preferences on how they like their burgers).
When it comes to overweight men, I will admit that I set a limit even though I realize there are lots of nice overweight men out there. It is not that I don't think they are nice men; it is that they would not be able to participate in my very physically active daily lifestyle and that's important to me. Of late, I typically date men who will join me for a run or a 5-mile bicycle ride. There could also be some issues with shared intimacies (I currently weigh 108 lbs....(you get the picture).
I am sure there are alot of women who would be delighted in meeting and falling in love with you regardless of your size, especially if they could enjoy mutual activites together. It just doesn't work for me in a relationship.
Would I be your friend? Alsolutely....In fact, one of my best male friends who I know from my college days is quite large. We get together about once a month for lunch or perhaps see a play but he would never be able to go on 5-mine bike rides...
You may have to look a little harder, but if you are the gentleman that you say you are you will eventually find someone who will think you are just perfect to them. Don't give up. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:29:49 AM | Perhaps this will explain things. http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19826614.100-bad-guys-really-do-get-the-most-girls.html
I think you'll be hard pressed to find many people who find obesity attractive, but I have known fat (and or ugly) men who were much more popular with women than me, and I've never been fat. Women care about looks but generally they don't mind dating someone for something other than looks. As I previously stated: to physically appeal to most women (especially the ones who are decent or good looking) it's going to take more than just not being fat. A lot of women want guys with celebrity bodies, and since they know the chances of them having those types of men are very improbable they'll go for the guy with the most entertaining/colorful personality. I could be wrong but judging from my personal experiences I'd say that you and I have around the same chances. The woman always has to be getting something special, unique, extra. If you and I were competing for the same girl at a club I don't think she'd automatically say "Oooo, I'm gonna choose this non-fat guy 'cause his non-fatness is so hot", because there's lots of non-fat guys. Humor, character, charisma, those are things that not everyone has.
On another note, it is harder to communicate your personality through the internet and so it's more visual than anything. I bet most people just look at pics and don't even bother to read profiles. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:52:18 AM |
The answer seems very simple here:
If you are fat, date fat girls.
If you are "average", then date "average" girls.
If you are toned and fit, date toned and fit girls.
A fit guy dating a fat girl, or a fit girl dating a fat guy is just not a healthy idea. (yikes!)
It is the simple "Law of Physical Attraction"
I have to disagree. I'm not Will Smith but I consider myself to be fit/toned and I find women who are in my weight group to be quite eluding. Women who are my physical equals usually want men who are more like Will Smith or Tyson Beckford (Or perhaps it's just harder for girls to see a guy's contour unless he has on tight clothes?). Similarly, I've noticed that a lot of fat women try talking to me but they won't talk to men who are their own size. It's more like the "Law of Physical Fantasy". | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:26:34 AM | | Why should the fat women only talk to men their own size? The men their own size might all have some traits besides weight that they find unattractive, many things might play into the scenario. If I met two men at the same time at a social gathering for instance, and one was fat and one was not, I would talk to both of them and not automatically be attracted to the fat one because I am a larger woman. I am attracted to larger men, but also am attracted to many types of men as far as appearance and personality traits are concerned. I have been approached by more men who are not fat men in my dating career ( at my age I have dated longer than I have worked in my profession), so maybe the "Law of Physical Fantasy" also applies to average sized men who shock of all shocks, find larger women to be sexy, attractive, and worth getting to know as women. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:18:53 AM | | Khrissy ~Hi there! You are right to a degree...HOWEVER...people still, men and women both, are attracted to a certain type. And remember , MOST people also consider things getting physical (lets not deny that here). And you can spend months and months "getting to know someone", still like or love who they are, but if you are not attracted to them on ALL levels...that sure can be a major let down. I require seeing pictures. I have actually reached a point where I want full body ones. And no, it is not being shallow, but here is the deal. I work out hard. I have come a long way. I have more to go. I have things I want to do. I am very physical. I need a man on my level. I cringe to think that while I am doing 40 minutes on the Elliptical or busting my ass in the gym doing weight lifting, to have a partner who cannot make it around the block. And I have friends like that. It is difficult. I do not think taking photos off profiles and trying to lour anyone into liking you simply for who you portray yourself to be on line is fair. I say have recent pics, showing your body. Current ones. And meet ASAP. That way, people can see (literally) is there is that "lets give this a shot" feeling. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:33:47 PM | Quote: "Also, on a side note, some people aren't used to actually being treated with respect and dignity. Most of the guys some particular women come across do the nice things until an intimate moment, then the guys turn stone cold on 'em.
Yep, in a way, we are paying for their lousy actions!"
I agree. I've always had a nack for picking not so nice men. A few months ago, I started dating a super sweet guy. When he opened and closed the doors for me, I was startled. I was waiting for him to smack me in the back of the head. But he was a real gentleman. I enjoyed that. Unfortunately, it didn't work- so here I am, on POF again. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:25:32 PM |
Why should the fat women only talk to men their own size? The men their own size might all have some traits besides weight that they find unattractive, many things might play into the scenario.
I never said that fat women should only talk to men their own size, I'm just disagreeing with the belief that people always want someone their own size, and I feel that my beliefs are not entirely unfounded. Although I am often going off of personal experience, I still try to make sure that my beliefs are factually supported so that I don't make a fool of myself.
"One reason why romantic rejection is so common in society is a tendency called falling upward. People generally desire mates that are higher than themselves on such characteristics as status and physical attractiveness, but not ones who are lower.[25] When someone falls in love with a person who has aspirations that are higher, that love is less likely to be reciprocated, potentially leading to rejection." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_rejection
And that's all I'm really saying: it's not so simple as "Hi, I'm in shape, you're in shape, let's date". If that were the case I would probably have someone. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:33:03 PM | i can see where your coming from but maybe your reading into things too much ,are you contacting people older /same age or younger as that might affect interest in you there are a few shallow people on here who will look at your pic and not your profile them sort of people will never be happy or content you should never judge a book by its cover hang in there im sure someone will take the time to read your profile and see that your a genuine person as there are alot of players good luck and have fun  | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 4:48:55 PM | Some women do. The heaviest gentleman I went out with was 26 stones. I suppose he would be called morbidly obese. I thought he was very good looking, and yes, I was attracted to him. All of him. Unfortunately, I met him at a time when he was going to go abroad for work and life reasons, so it came to an end after a few lovely dates. Cest la Vie.
My preferences are quite broad, (excuse the pun) when it comes to weight. I can find almost any body type attractive .Yay, lucky me.
So, it all depends on what a woman is attracted to.
If shes not attracted, no matter how nice, or romantic you are, she cant date you. She may want to for the right reasons, but dating someone you're not attracted to just because they have other great qualities would not be fair to the person, now would it?
G. x | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:04:21 PM | forever_laughter,
I gotta say, you are looking good, i am starting this new gym thing myself, trying to get into shape for my health, i am sure once i am a slim and fit guy, women will be coming out of the wood works, which is a pity and an indication that majority of women just go for hot bods, which tends to make me think that personality means nothing.
From experience, women would prefer to be hurt emotionally instead of be seen with a publically decided unattractive person....sad but true.
I know i am a nice guy, i want someone special in my life that loves me for who i am, not for the body i have...you know what i mean? | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 6/28/2009 6:11:56 PM | Khrissy89, you are incorrect.....well, i don't just look at pics, i look at what they type in their profile, what they are looking for, if the profile is empty besides a bunch of pics with her in bikinis and nothing else, it shows that all she has to attract guys is her body and to me, it really isn't enough for me to be interested.
A woman i find attractive has to have a personality and be decent to everyone she meets, if she can't be nice to anyone else, then she really isn't worth the time.
If she can't take the time to get to know me as a person, then she really isn't looking for romance, just a quick roll in the hay, unlike them, i am out of my 'i just want to get laid' phase of my life and i just want to settle down with someone special. | |
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