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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 12:05:25 AM | Hey I have confidence in myself, because of my 2nd girl friend. Who was a model type. so I know what is attainable. I appreciate your comments Terrell. But the whole issue is Why are women affraid to date Nice Romantic Overweight guys. Its not about my weight this thread. This thread has turned in the wrong direction for me. This thread was suppose to be about women | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 12:09:42 AM | Personally, I have always been a larger girl my whole life. Thyroid issues run in my family, my sister had the cancer part, my grandma had the underactive part. I really need to have all the tests and crap but I hate the doctors. Doctors freak me out for some reason, its just a phobia. back to the point....I actually like guys with meat on them better. This is because the few times when I dated skinny guys it was like I was going to break them. Besides its just plain more comfortable. When I was with this one really really skinny guy i couldnt help but think why does he want me? you know? So the overweight guys are fine with me, just need to find one near by in my age range. That doesnt mean I will only date large men though, I will date other size men who admire the bbws. Size isnt a big issue it really depends on the man personality. I love a man with a sense of humor.  | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 12:24:47 AM | | I know rocks. They don't because of their shallowness, it's the same way with guys. If a girl is very attractive, she is more likely to seek others like herself and close her mind from everything else. That may be a good thing sometimes as it weeds out the shallow people. However, there are some that are exceptions to this rule, albeit they are rare and hard to find. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 6:20:47 AM | My first reaction to your thread was "UGH ... another whiner who feels that he's being passed by"
From what you have said, you are a nice, romantic, old fashioned, short, poor and overweight man with medical problems who lacks self confidence and has trouble communicating.
You came here asking a question, and you don't like the answers. Awwww muffin.
As danceinpants said: "You gotta want more than someone who JUST wants to be treated nicely.You should be looking for someone with similar interests rather than someone who just wants to be loved. Cause heck everyone wants to be loved."
as espeon13 said: "Man I think it's in the personality" "Learn to accept yourself and be confident. That's what women like in a man."
As I've posted in other threads, I am one of the women who is more attracted to bigger men.
Big, however, is not the only thing I am attracted to.
There are many other reasons for women to pass you by, other than your size.
And, does anyone else agree that the words "nice" and "romantic" are WAY over-used!?
What's nice to one person may not be nice to another, and the same goes for romantic.
Maybe you should elaborate on what you think your good qualities are, although negativity, I'm sure, is bound to cast a shadow over all of them. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 8:31:31 AM | Mommy I have confidence in my self. I'm an old fashioned gentleman.
!-Gives gifts on the first date
2-Hold doors open for women
3-Likes to pay for the first date out
4-Likes to get to know the person first on a few dates before having sex
5-Loves to communicate and listen to the other person
6-Enjoys cooking for someone I like
7-ect...  | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 8:57:14 AM | Mommy I have confidence in my self. I'm an old fashioned gentleman.
!-Gives gifts on the first date
2-Hold doors open for women
3-Likes to pay for the first date out
4-Likes to get to know the person first on a few dates before having sex
5-Loves to communicate and listen to the other person
6-Enjoys cooking for someone I like
7-ect
All those are great actions Rocky, although by themselves would make you seem a bit of a pushover. Work on your self confidence a bit, it will be attractive than any gesture. After reading through the thread I find myself wondering if you do those things because you think a woman will be drawn to you by them, or if they just come naturally for you. Weigh your motives when seeking a mate, they certainly will and will spot insincerity much sooner than you think.
Mommy (that sounds so freudian) is right, dig a little deeper.... | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 10:36:24 AM | @ passinthru ....
LOL @ "Mommy (that sounds so freudian) is right, dig a little deeper...."
.... and Thanks ;)
An excellent questioned posed by you as well.... "... I find myself wondering if you do those things because you think a woman will be drawn to you by them, or if they just come naturally for you."
And great advice.... " Weigh your motives when seeking a mate, they certainly will and will spot insincerity much sooner than you think." | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 5:02:57 PM | | I think genetic's play a big part in it. I am the opposite. I have been thin all my life. Until my metabolism finally slowed down. I weight 150lbs at 5' 10" A lot of people think I am still too skinny but I'm still normal weight/ hight range. I learned to be happy about myself. No matter who does not like me because of my looks. Even though I'm not over weight, not a lot of girls knocking at my doors eather. Well actually recently one might of. I belive there is some truth what r1terrell23 says. Even if by a subconsous level. Good looking ones tend to go for, well the good looking ones. Of course not every time. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 9:01:43 PM | | Nothing wrong with asking, "Why won't women date a nice, romantic, overweight gentleman,' as long as you aren't, in turn, saying back, "No way I'd consider going out with you! You need to lose weight, lady!" So, my question to you, Rock: Do you measure up to your own standards? If so, then you should have no problems. If not, then that is your problem. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 9:19:15 PM | | I have dated over weight women befoe and haev been in love with one before. Never had a chance to tell her. but my actions showed it. She was dating someone else at the time, but we did go to weight watchers togher | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 9:23:52 PM | I will no longer answer personal questions about myself on this thread.
1- I have self confidence
2-I'm a nice guy
3-I'm romantic at heart
People stop trying to make this into to a confidence issue.
The question is Why won't women Date Nice Romantic Over Weight Gentlemen
It has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 4/19/2005 9:31:05 PM | Re: "Mommy2 i don't want to give the deeper answers to people I have never met"
Perhaps the forums are not a good place to chat then. I mean, you did pose a question. Should you not answer the questions posed in return? Saying that you don't want to give the deeper answers here because you haven't met us, implies not only that you are still searching for them, but also that you lack communication skills, as I mentioned.
I'm sure, after all, that if any self-respecting and confident woman wanted to chat with you, she would require more, and deeper answers than you have been able to provide thus far.
Re: "Mommy I do these kinds of things with sincerity."
Perhaps you are being as sincere as you can be, and offering all that you are able to at this point in your life. I find that sad. | |
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| It has nothing to do with you!?!?
Posted: 4/19/2005 10:34:55 PM | It has nothing to do with you!?!?
I re-read this entire thread, and nowhere in it did you post a message that did not mention you. You started this thread with these statements: " Hey ladies, I'm a nice guy who is honest and romantic." and "You Could find true love with a short overweight person like me, who would treat you right and with respect. Well I find when you ladies get treated like this you run the opposite way"
In msg 8 you said " What am i fishing for is a woman who wants to be treated like a queen, with kindness, and respect. Who is not affraid of being treated right and who won't run away from a nice guy who wants to get to know her" and then you mentioned sex, and continued with, "And a woman who will treat me the same"
you were asked whether you would work out 20 minutes per day to increase your chances, and in msg 27 you indignantly stated, "No!!! because its not possible for me"
Then, if we skip down to msg 51 for a minute, you state, "Lets see I work ou at the Gym 3-5 times a week- Have tried so hard to lose weight."
Back up to msg 30 ... you had been asked whether you would travel for love, and you responded with, "I really can't afford to travel. If I could I would. 2 I hate long distance relationships, because you can't give a person a hug, when they need it, when they are far away."
And then, in msg 37, you wanted more answers ... "I'm an old fashioned guy. I would like to ask the question why do women, not like receiving flowers on the first date anymore, or have doors held open for them. Why do women kill chivalry. Why do women mostly assume we want sex on the first date. Why do women run away from being treated with respect. Why ca't most women look on the inside of the person"
You keep saying you're confident, so let's look at your responses regarding confidence throughout the thread. In msg 58, you said "I wouldn't have put romantic if I was confident in myself. I was just being honest about myself hoping someone would find my inner beauty and kindness." but, somehow, somewhere in between msg 58 and msg 77, you developed confidence because you have an ex who looks like a model, as you then proceeded to tell us... (msg 77) .." Hey I have confidence in myself, because of my 2nd girl friend. Who was a model type. so I know what is attainable."
Some other examples of how you have made this thread about you....
msg 52 - "I have dated a nice overweight romantic woman util she started playing head games and she put in a situation, where I had to walk away without saying a thing."
msg 69 - "eat pretty healty do do my diabetes"
msg 72 - "Actually I am a very nice romantic person in person-writing on a thread is a form of discussion not dating. These are two different things in a persons personality. I try very hard to be nice and straight forward so people understand what I'm saying. What happens if a person has a Throid problem and can't lose weight. I have been husky all my life. I have tried to get smaller and it is very hard to do that for some people"
msg 76 - "if they can't accept me for who I am. and I have only attacked people who have attacked me." ..... "people saying I'm over weight because of the way I eat. Weight also can be a genetic fator. I have the right to defend myself and be honest How I feel. If a person can't take honesty, then I don't want them as a friend."
In msg 81 you equate your self confidence with the things you do for women .....
"I have confidence in my self. I'm an old fashioned gentleman.
!-Gives gifts on the first date
2-Hold doors open for women
3-Likes to pay for the first date out
4-Likes to get to know the person first on a few dates before having sex
5-Loves to communicate and listen to the other person
6-Enjoys cooking for someone I like
7-ect..."
In msg 72 you also said " You seem to be judging me on my thread, which can't give you the whole me."
I did not list every post of yours, but would just like to point out that you started this thread about you, continued to talk about yourself throughout it, and are getting defensive because people are stating their opinions about more than your weight.
In msg 80, I said, "My first reaction to your thread was "UGH ... another whiner who feels that he's being passed by"
From what you have said, you are a nice, romantic, old fashioned, short, poor and overweight man with medical problems who lacks self confidence and has trouble communicating.
You came here asking a question, and you don't like the answers. Awwww muffin."
There are definitly more character traits that I could add to the list now, but alas, I must apologize for thinking that you have trouble communicating. You obviously have a great deal of confidence, which helps you be so nice. It is my third greatest wish that you could be one of the people you speak of in msg 76, when you say, "If a person can't take honesty, then I don't want them as a friend."
My second greatest wish would be that you would speak of me as you did to someone else in that same post (namely msg 76), and simply say, " I respect your straight forwardness and honesty..." (Oh, yes, I really, really care what you think of me. Please respond quickly, as my very life hangs in the balance)
My greatest wish would have to be that I was wrong about you. (Again, I care so very deeply)
now, where is that *rolling eyes" emoticon when I need it most??? | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 10/5/2005 9:30:01 PM | I must be one of the few, because my friends often laugh at me for my taste in guys!
Personally, I like bigger guys...just more of him to love! Even when I was smaller (like 130lbs) I liked bigger guys...
Big (built or not) arms and a beer gut are attractive to me (along with eyes and ass..lol).
If girls care too much about the outside, then it's their loss...If you're really as great as you say you are, and girls can't see past the outside, their problem!
And whatever happened to a person's personality making them more physically attractive? | |
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| It's the personality that attracts.... or detracts!
Posted: 10/6/2005 6:00:05 AM | Rocky Rocky Rocky,
Dude, get real. You start a thread asking why chicks dont dig guys like you then get your fruit of the looms in a knot when some actually admit their shallowness, yet you seem to ignore those who respond that it doesn't matter, just so long as they are respectful and mature individuals who can complete a setence or two without whining or going into their "DEFINE ME" mentality.
I am sure you are a nice guy. Your profile seems a bit lacking however as to who you really are versus what you seek.
It is good that some of us nice guys are still out there, but we gotta be sure to let our actions do the talking for us. You say that you are a nice and romantic guy? BFD!! So does every other guy on this list. Obviously some are lying their butts off. Talk is cheap!!
Your attitude, in this thread only, seems a bit of a wishy washy waffler. John Kerry would be envious of you. You had a girlfriend at one time that was the "model" type. Ok, so what lead to the breakup? What led to your other girlfriends breakups, regardless of their size and shapes? Perhaps this is something you should examine moreso than why chicks may or may not dig big guys.
I gotta say though, I used to be in your mindset that the skinner the chick, the more shallow and thusly, will only hang out with those like her. But guess what. As with everything else in this world, there are exceptions! And the exceptions are the greatest things to find, often times you stumble over 'em instead of seeing them come at ya.
You figure out exactly what you want, stick with that (meaning dont go changing your mind) and actually look for those that fit that criteria. Have fun with it, be yourself and for Gods sake relax and lose the desire to point out you are a nice guy. "Nice Guy" means pushover and chicks don't go for that!! Play the game or sit the hell out of the game! | |
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| It's the personality that attracts.... or detracts!
Posted: 10/6/2005 7:38:20 AM | nice guy does not mean pushover. it means nice guy!
however the OP probably needs to stop trying to play in the majors til he gets his weight problem under control. just being honest.
for me personally, i wouldn't want an extremely overweight guy. why would i? | |
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| It's the personality that attracts.... or detracts!
Posted: 10/6/2005 8:18:25 AM | "nice guy does not mean pushover. it means nice guy!"
That is your opinion. However, in my opinion, you are either in the minority or you just are not being honest. I will presume the previous just for the sake of argument.
The majority believe "nice" is weakness, especially if/when the "nice" person claims that they are nice. It suggests they are either weak or lying their butts off, which in either case, women pass up. Read other threads throughout POF and this will back all of this up. Women (and guys) admit this time and time again.
"for me personally, i wouldn't want an extremely overweight guy. why would i?"
Why not? You weren't very specific in your reasons for such a statement. Is it the possible unhealthiness of someone of large girth, or could it possibly be because of another, more shallow or maybe uninformed reason?
Inquiring minds dont really wanna know, but it's like a car wreck, ya just cant look away!
Ever dated a big guy (or girl.... I didn't want to assume)? Were they real jerks or was there physically limiting, so to speak, activities they undertook? | |
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| It's the personality that attracts.... or detracts!
Posted: 10/7/2005 3:14:30 PM | The break up was due to her career came 1st and she wasn't ready for a deep relationship. Love was not on her agenda it was something that happened. And I have not been wish washy. I was hoping this thread was gone.
I am confident and respectful to myself and woman who are respectful to me. I give examples of my personality which was inredded into my hrad by my parents, but people call this actions insincere, when I know it comes from my heart. So if you don't like who I am I just don't care about this thread because all people do is attack my good side | |
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and then De Flat Guy will have to be Flucking all of them tooo.
