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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/14/2007 3:56:55 PM | one thought: image ~ (overweight women ~ including myself ~ contend with this as well). Some people who consider themselves fit and 'normal' tend to veer away from heavier folks because of what it will look like. Shallow, yes. Still, people have preferences for what turns them on physically, and if one doesn't like the view, one won't want to be expected to keep taking it in.
another thought: strictly physically, it's hard to deal with the size, gravity issues, and inevitably excessive perspiration that heavier people experience. In bed, this can almost be suffocating, particularly in reference to certain performances featuring exchange of bodily fluids both orally and otherwise... it could be difficult to engage in some aspects of foreplay..
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My apologies for graphic detail but I'm trying to offer a practical rationale behind the aversion. | |
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Tansi1
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Joined: 2/15/2007
Msg: 203 | |
| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/14/2007 10:14:24 PM |
"In my opinion"
Thought #1 on Thought #2.....Where there's a will , there's a way........There are more concerns about performance anxieties on the part of the male partner, who may see himself as unappealing physically, as there is his or your being able to support his weight during sexual activities.
Thought #2 on Thought #2....Diet and hygiene have as much to do with the aforementioned offensive odours etc. as size does. Although it may lack spontaneity , showering together/making love in the shower is a loving way to avoid your concerns.
~Tansi~ | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 6:51:40 PM | | Lol what a sterotype saying all overweight people smell, being a big man myself i am very conscious about my hygene i take showers and make sure i smell good, not everyone who is overweight smells but if you dont take care of yourself sure you will smell. And as for sex I agree if there is a will there is a way. like i said in a previous reply everyone has there own taste bottomline. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:12:06 PM | | Having had my relationship end because of a weight issue, this really hits home with me. I would love the woman regardless but she felt I was'nt trying hard enough to lose weight. Before the breakup I was going to the club 3 times a week, now I am going at 5 am every weekday morning, I am going to lose 45 lbs. #1 For my health #2 so I can date a woman and not feel akward and feel more confident, #3 so when we have sex we both can enjoy without the my weight hindering our passion. After my folks died and I got divorced I packed it on and now I will return to a weight of between 210-220 lbs. The thin women who ignored and avoided me I will remember their shallowness and the heavy women who loved & supported me I will go out with. They will look and say to themselves what can he possibily see in her. My response is a whole lot more then you will ever know. More bounce per ounce! | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:26:47 PM | | Well, here's the thing. Today I got an email from a very nice guy...I am petite--really petite--5'3", 115 lbs. This guy is 5'9" and weighs 220. Obese for his height. I exercise every day, he's a couch potato. On his profile, he specifies he wants a slender woman. Hello! If I were 5'9", 220, he'd want nothing to do with me. What is it with these fat --old--men who want slender women. Dream on. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:28:29 PM | | Because, just as some men, women can be very, very shallow, and it's a shame. Personally, I love a guy with a little meat on his bones. I also agree that it is what is on the inside that counts. You can be the most handsome man in the world, but if your a jerk, you become ugly, pretty darn fast. Like other's have said, your just not looking in the right places. Just keep your eyes open, it may happen when you least expect it!! | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:31:47 PM | This is a very touchy subject. One cannot help but be attracted to whomever trips the love/sex map we have hard-wired into your brains.
If the physical attraction is not there, it is not fair to "fake" it simply because someone is as wholesome as Mother Theresa or Ghandi.
Such is the state of the human psyche.
BTW: I have seen and known MANY MANY overweight people who have loving spouses in their lives and are nuts about one another. I LOVE to see that.
I love to see ANY people in successful relationships regardless of cosmetics or other issues. This ain't Hollywood, folks.
WD | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 209 | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:01:32 PM | This is getting a little off course here with reasons and excuses. The question is pretty strraight forward. So is the answer... it has noting to do with being shallow or anythinbg else.
The first laws of human attraction are how does he/she look and do they appeal to me. Its that simple. If they are not attracted to you physically then its a no go.
I don't care oif you are skinny / average/fat or anything else...black, white, red,yellow, or blue with polka dots....its all the same,
After the initial physical attraction, then the rest comes into play. Its as simple as that.
Not shallow / not prejudiced/no other excuses...so don't kid yourselves into thinking anything else, because you are deceiving yourself.
Anyone can improve their chances greatly by being confident and outgoing...that will get you noticed, but it will still attract those that are attracted to your appearance with the confidence.
I know huge men who will only seek thin ladies and many huge ladies that only want thin men...and there is nothing wrong with that if that is what they are genuinely attracted to. Some people want someone their own age, because thats what they are attracted to (some think there is an age formula they have to follow ... now that is rediculous), some want someone much older because thats what they are attracted to. There is no special formula and no special way to attract and never does personality get you there if the other attractions are not there. So don't be deceived. Read the hundreds of other posts and threads about the same thing and you will find the same excuses and whining and people thinking people are shallow....its just human nature....nothing else. We are attracted to what we are attracted to, and that is not shallow or unreasonable. Put your best foot forward and go out and confidently enjoy yourself. Seek people...not the "one" ... that will make things much easier and much more fun. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:14:07 PM | Hey tdh,
No, I would not consider dating an overweight man. Just like many men would not consider dating me for one reason or another. Fair enough, dating life can suck.
Overweight is not attractive to me. If that sounds shallow, at least I am being honest.
It is a lifestyle I think is unhealthy and he presumably would not be able or willing to do a lot of the hobbies I like participating in.
Do I think I am some sort of prize? For the right person maybe. For anyone and everyone? Absolutely not.
WD | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 8:19:21 PM |
Lol what a sterotype saying all overweight people smell, I totally agree, it IS a dumb presumption to make; very prejudiced and kinda mean. It's not so much the lack of preference itself, but the stated reason I was given, referring to the thinner person's belief that a heavy person is more likely to be unappealing hygienically and olfactorily... but what they are NOT saying (out loud) is that it's basically the way a larger person looks, and they dare not admit being so insensitive.
See... the hygiene and acrobats are fixable. The dislike of the look itself comes from somewhere deeper in their own history.
I encounter this attitude often in thinner men who dismiss me for this reason. Yes.. I've been told as much! .. and I also make sure to smell and look clean.
*sigh* ... however, there's just no getting through to some people. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/16/2007 10:09:45 PM | | wow i can't believe all the negativity in here. I have been overweight my whole life and i have never had a hard time finding a date. but i'm all for the opinion that it has to do with attitude. myself i am short and overweight woohoo--at least i am healthy i can bike a couple miles in a day i can walk a few miles a day for the hell of it and not be fallin over in exhaustion. I have friends that are 5foot 9 and 125 with petit bone stuctures that can't walk a block without being tired.would i trade spots with her no flippin way.ill take healthy and plump over petit and tired. its not about size its about attitude and life style. the moment an individual looks past there looks being a issue amazing enough other people start lookin past it too. its all about attitude. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/17/2007 2:07:48 PM | As for me, I'm just not attracted to overweight men. I'm not talking about 10-20 lbs, but more than that just doesn't do it for me. I think if you have a problem with that you should lose the weight. It isn't healthy anyway, so why hold onto it? | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/17/2007 2:35:50 PM | | well.... rule for meh: i love thicker guys... but i love thicker 'solid' guys... im a big girl... i cant see myself wanting to be sexual with a bigger guy who is flabby big because I dont feel comfortable with that... but that goes for the same with overly built guys or skinny guys... i just have a preference... | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 12:40:51 PM | I have dated men thin, athletic, average, but whats average? Then some of them where 20 to 70 lbs over weight, but then again whats overweight.
With me it has always been the personally....if you get along have that passion, compassion, then you can work together.
I have seen the women who in HS were thin, and now......its a dramatic change. It all depends on what your comfortable in.
I can easily pack on 20 lbs..........and now I need to lose a bit and tone up, would love to have someone to share the walks and gym with.....and its then that you can tell if someone really cares and loves you for you............
I also dont date or care for shallow people..........there is nothing inside worth getting to know.
So for men who want to see more pics of me............I like me just the way I am.......... | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 6:01:47 PM | OP, it's the same reason that some guys won't date a thicker girl or bbw. you're not going to be everyone's type, either accept it, or change whatever qualities you feel make you less attractive to the opposite gender.
weight and physical activity is something within the means of most people to adapt and control...it's not an overnight thing, or easy, but it is possible. i'm a thicker girl myself, but 50 lbs lighter than i once was...after a year of maintaining i want to shed some more pounds. i can change, and with some motivation, perhaps you can too. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 7:15:19 PM | Actually, I think women are more receptive to overweight men than men are of overweight women. I see the most beautiful women with the most average joes all the time...not once have I seen a truely beautiful man with an average jane.
You'll find the right one, trust me. Keep the faith! | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 7:50:15 PM | | I think everyone here has a valid opinion we like who we like you cant make your self like someone just cause there nice there has to be an attraction, and everyones taste is different. so I hope we all find our right fit out there. | |
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| Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen
Posted: 7/23/2007 8:04:41 PM | I was a big baby at birth and got bigger as I grew. parents were scared that something was wrong with me so they took me to specialists. Spent several years in and out of hospitals. After it all I came through with a clean bill of health. Doctors said I was just born a big boned boy.
Through out my school years , I felt like an outcast. I had a few friends that supported me. I had a girlfriend at the time but it didn't last she cheated on me.
over the years I've gained some(more than I like) and for the past year I've been on a diet. still it's rough. Down here where I live if you don't look like a model you are out of luck | |
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