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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/26/2006 10:28:25 AM |  First Define to yourself, "What is a Good Guy?" Then ask your self, Is that GoodGuy within me?.
I don't know If I'm a Good Guy," Or a Bad Guy. My Survival Instincts are Important to me.
So, Does that make me a Good Guy, Or a Bad Guy? That's only one aspect of my personality I know of. There are many perspectives on the Subject.
You can go, On, And On, I wouldn't Worry About It At all.
Who Cares?," Only you should Care About Yourself.
I come first and foremost," And I like Myself.
R,  | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/26/2006 4:52:41 PM | Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.......
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. | |
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DJJenX
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Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 1:18:35 PM | I'm still looking for a good guy...every guy I've been in a relationship with has started off nice and done a 180...
I've written to some guys on here and on other sites who claim to be nice, but they just ingored or deleted my emails.  | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 2:59:23 PM | I like the analogy of the apple tree. I think that good guys should just be patient.there are nice girls still out there | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 3:12:22 PM | | Ok good guys get the women when there asseritive enough to show that there manly, but remain true to there "nice guy" self. Yes i'm one of those women who've been dumped on.. and i accept full responsibility for my choosing losers, but all the nice guys that i've met dont know how to assert themselves, Yes i want a man that remembers to call when he says he will, but i want him to say no honey i'm going out with the guys.. Yes we as women want it all , but the truly good women want to give it all too.. we all, men and women, box our selves in by what we know were attracted to and all to often we refuse to step out of our box. but thats just my opinion, so if theres any nice guys out there.. i'm still looking | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:01:07 PM | i agree with GRIFF======= in most respects ladies, you need to broaden your horizons just a bit and lower your expectations, because if you're looking for MR RIGHT to be on a pedestal, most men just wont measure up no matter what your expectations are......
most guys simply want the same as most women : someone to care about them and not be afraid to say so....yes, i know that it's a touch and come look and see situation in here , but if you don't become more open minded and laid back (no i don't mean laying on your back,) i simply mean be more easygoing about life in general, then no, you'll never know if the man or men you're passing up is going to be THE ONE FOR YOU!
the good ones are usually taken by all the barbie dolls in the world and like the guys,, yes, us ladies, at least most of us take pride in our appearance... but ,you'll find out as time goes by that everyone gains some unwanted weight and men lose their hair (no offense to all you baldies out there who like their heads shaved) , but at some point in time, we're all a little vain about our looks and anyone who says differently is lying mostly to themselves.....
but if you truly believe that you're a good person, before you know it , there he or she is right under your nose and then you are all set to find out if you can get past all the crap and really settle down to knowing what your partner really wants.... stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and just go for it... you'll never know if you don't take the risks more than once....
speaking for myself, no i haven't found MR RIGHT yet, but i'm sure having a lot of fun trying in here..i have met several really nice guys , went out with some, talked on the phone with some , widened my circle of friends, and have been happy with everyone i've come into contact with ---i've been on here for over a year .
i wish the best of luck to all you guys out there that haven't met me yet,, and like i said, just keep on trying... read my profile if you want.. contact me .. i'll give you a shot and see where it goes ... warning all of you ahead of time that i'm very forward and confident in my own skin---full figured and proud of it.. if you don't like whats' in this cookies' jar,,, keep on looking ... you'll find it if you look hard enough past the initial surface and get to the heart of what really matters the most to you-----thanks for letting me get this off my chest good luck all | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:10:17 PM | You are so right man, after the Drug Dealers and the Abusers then we get our chance and trust me I am in no position to judge one's past but for once I'd like to meet a female with the Drama/ Baggage | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:20:44 PM | i agree with you as well if most men would take the time to look beneath the surface and stop playing around with the girls who are little miss petite with nothing under that pretty face but fluff and no substance then they find the one they were meant to be with
but guys being the ones with the eyes for the one in the candy shop just want eye candy on their arms dont care if they look anywhere else till she dumps them for another one just as good looking as they were
men helllllllooooooooooo wake up out there theres more to life than just a pretty face
the rest of us ladies that are looking for you good men out there need for you to get your eyes back in your heads and look closer at the one (s) you passed up in order to go out with the barbie dolls those are the real women in this world-----you better grab them before they disappear to those bad boys out there and then you will have lost out on a really good person who could/would have made you happy
lets face it boys would you really want a woman to treat you like a dog or do you want someone that will make you feel fulfilled and whole as a man someone to come home to every night that really gives a damn about whether you had a bad day or not hmmmmmmmmmmmmm lets see yes no which one do you think is the right answer , guys? happy new year all | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:25:45 PM | | when you wake up and smell the coffee fellows look beyond the surface of what women look like and explore their hidden talents and dont laugh at their dreams if you really want a good woman, then stop looking at the pretty faces with no brains and look deeper into your soul and heart to see what is right in front of you---- a woman who gives a damn about what you want and how she can make you happy rather than a piece of eye candy that doesnt care about anyone but herself and how she can use you to get what she wants and then dump you for someone better looking and with more money----- more than what you can give her look for the one who is not so perfect and then youll have found more than enough to make you happy | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 7:30:25 PM | surely not you griff i know from personal experience that youre one of the good guys funny nice a lot of fun on a date knowledgeable about the area and all its finer points and definitely sexy i wont let you be bitter youre a great man thank you and to all you other bitter men out there let go of the past and it will free you to be a better man and make you a lifelong partner for someone that s looking for a good man to be there no matter what-----start out as friends first then the relationship will last longer...... | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:10:45 PM |
When do us good guys get the woman?
Once you "good guys" prove that you are trustworthy and deserve a "good woman."  | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:55:19 AM | Seeing as you good guys know that we woman have met hurtful men in our pasts. Wouldnt it be worth your while to give us the chance and the time we need, to see that you are a good guy.
We may not be so trusting after our life experiences, but we have become better informed.
That being said, if you would put in a little effort to help us to see what good guys you are, maybe - just maybe, we would make a connection.
All of us, goodguys and goodwoman, have become leary, and as one poster said, these bad guys presented themselve as good guys to us good woman. That is what makes it so hard for us to take the risk of opening up to another. But given the time, I think you will find that we will. People are not conditioned to spend their lives alone, it only happens after they have been hurt too many times, or too badly. But our natural instincts and our capacity to love another are still there. It just may be being guarded by our instincts to protect ourselves from further hurt.
So go back and read again the theory of the good apples up at the top of the tree. There may be a bit of a climb to reach us, but we are still there. Waiting for the man, that will make the effort and climb up to reach us. | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:11:47 PM | and what about the good women?I have seen so many men pine after low-class, trashy, stupid whores w/ no character, brains or looks. I have all 3 but it seems like the men I have dated all whined/obsessed about the last chick who dumped them, then dumped me. Then they end up marrying the next woman they date after me! WTF??
I'm tired of dating, gonna take a hiatus. My marriage ended 10 years ago, almost to the date, & I dated for 9 1/2 years & had very little emotional satisfaction from the dating/guys. All my friends over the years have told me I needed to get a lil B*TCHIER. Now I see what they mean. Not being a B*TCH, but being more concerned w/ my needs as well as the guys.
GOOD LUCK 2 ALL THE GOOD GUYS & GOOD WOMEN IN 2007! | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/30/2006 4:27:40 PM | I know there are plenty of women who like bad boys and treat the good ones like crap. I have known a few of these women and teen girls who have no respect for the good guys and find great pleasure in turning a good guy bad. Then when a woman like me goes looking for a good guy I can't find one. A lot of guys think we all want the bad boys and can we really blame them?? I don't think so, kind of sad really. I would like to find a good guy but so far I can't find one.
The real question here is why would any woman want a man who is going to treat her badly? why do they think they diserve this kind of treatmeant and why don't they see how they are hurting us all?
Laurel | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:43:42 PM | My understanding from women I've talked with is the challenge of taming them. They (the girls) think they can change them. Make them better, whatever. People can't be changed. Their behaviors can be modified for short periods of time, but their true natures will eventually resurface. They can change themselves if they really want to.
Another huge factor that we've danced around on this thread is physical attraction. People don't want to appear shallow, but it is a major consideration in the early stages of dating. | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 12/31/2006 7:53:01 AM | | I agree with those above who said that often the bad guy comes under the disguise of being the good guy. I spent MANY HOURS talking with "StrayThoughts" who said he was a writer and graphic artist, successful, educated, single and lived independently in a large apartment on the lower East Side of Manhattan. He seemed remarkably nice and bright and charming. Said he was very spiritual and talked a good talk. Came to find out that he was actually a convicted felony multiple times and in multiple states, did major prison time, lived in his mother illegal project apartment, did not have his degree and was jobless (besides the hussles he was running). He also has a female "roommate" and I found out that he recently had several relationships (within months and some I believe were overlapping) and a couple of women who presently still believed that they were in relationships with him. He said that since I was SPIRITUAL he thought that I should be "enlightened" enough whereas none of that mattered to me and that he didn't think that my definitions of educated and success were the "mainstream" definitions. (Ummm, WHAT???). When I told him that it did matter and that I was disturbed that he has withheld this information and that I felt that he consciously deceived me - well, MR. NICE GUY went out the window and the REAL guy set in. He started yelling, insulting ME with many made up insults - called and left me so many messages that I had to block his number and to this day has never even made any attempt to apologize. Just didn't have enough character to consider my feelings in it at all. He did, however, send me many ugly emails until I blocked him. He then just jumped back into another relationship - which clearly shows that he was never sincere on ANY level in the first place - just looking for someone to take advantage of. AND, his profile says REAL seeks REAL. Can you believe it? However, it should say that if you are looking for a REAL bad outcome - contact him. It was unsettling and discouraging because I really thought he was a good person. Shame. Shame. Shame. | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:08:54 PM | | Sassy, I just read your profile and post and this guy clearly did a horrible number on you and I totally sympathize. I wish you luck here. | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 1/10/2007 12:56:22 PM | sorry if this seems like a personal response, but it really isn't to griffx. I just really have not gotten the swing of this site yet. I have been posted on it for a while, but never really was looking. The topic is interesting, and so very analytical. Everyone on here seems to be concerned about meeting a nice guy or a nice girl, however no one really considers themselves not to be "nice". It matters not what they, or the other person(s), are looking for. True, there are a lot of men, as well as women, who hide their life identities in order to obtain what they want. While it might be a lie, it doesn't mean that they aren't nice people to know. It's just that we (those of us who consider ourselves decent folk) would like the truth straight out before considering a continuation of getting to know one another.
I, myself, would like someone who's got it going on. But it's also our jobs to make sure that whoever it is we hook up with is REALLY who we are hooking up with. I always go with my instincts. And guys have it too. I don't believe that anyone (except for goldiggas) set their standards high. I do believe however, that if you have gotten hurt before, it's extremely difficult to trust again. And if you're dealing with a person that has been hurt, there's a fork in the road. Take it or leave it. But for those of us who take it, patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait. But ONLY if you're really serious about it.
thanks for reading.
ps-im a nice girl! Happy New Year! | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 1/10/2007 1:10:20 PM | | OMG!!! Sassy you are a very strong woman. My ex husband was the same way (different situation, though). I can not only sympathize with you, I can sit right next to you. It's hard enough to trust anyone these days. Everywhere you look it seems like everyone is out for their own personal gain. But it's healthier to let go of the anger, I find. I could talk about what my ex did, but who cares? I don't. I care about moving on and being happy. As for being happy, if mr. right comes along, he comes, if he doesn't, then he doesn't. If you really think about it, is any female really that bad off without a man? (I'm not man bashing). I, as a grown woman, personally find that not having to tell a person where you're going or what you're doing every minute of the day is stress-less. Now, it could also be a turn around if you enjoy that kind of thing with the right person. It wouldn't be such a painful experience. | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 1/10/2007 1:23:52 PM | | Good is Relative! I describe myself as nothing short of wonderful, yet it's in the mind of the beholder. I certainly look for the 'good guy,' BUT it's about the million things that revolve in a sphere beyond good. Most of us are self-serving, which is FINE and natural. But if in serving yourself, you're not fulfilling the needs of a partner - than good may be good, but not good enough! And honestly, when you're in love - it's possible to find good in EVEN THE WORST lcircumstance. | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 1/10/2007 2:08:40 PM |
when you're in love - it's possible to find good in EVEN THE WORST circumstance.
right on. everyone should look at the things they've done in the sake of love, and compare the past with the present. We New Yorkers are notorious for being impatient, but when it comes to our lives and our passions, there's really no deadlines. Chill the f*ck out and stop being so "desperate"..... try to have some fun and just be honest. Until next time................. | |
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| When do us good guys get the woman?
Posted: 1/10/2007 5:14:31 PM | i understand where you are coming from there are a bunch of guys out here thinkin with the wrong head and that bothers me.i'm one of the decent guys left,i respect all women,i don't abuse women or children.i see the ladies saying there in search of a decent guy,but from what i see most women go the guys who just want sex.go figure.sometimes i get the feeling women don't know what they want. | |
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