| | What is a Player?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Don't we have a place for the players? I think it's called, "Intimate Encounters".
And if all they want is sex why don't they just post thier profiles there?
By the way, sex IS only the icing on th cake. If they are so hungry for sex (and that is not hard to find out) I might even suggest they go to Intimate Encounters. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 3/31/2009 11:57:54 PM | What is a Player?
in my experience, the majority of pof lol | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:17:50 PM | Well theres more players on here then any place else !LOL
Look if people don't date then thier a player simple as that !
As when you email someone and then they never reply back what would you call them ??
Yes just a player no matter how you word it .
M0st people on here are players but none will admit it . LOL
You'll see lots posting in these forums yet they don't date anyone either !
They use excuses for thier actions and to why their single !
Well players you can't find a good male or female if your not willing to do something about your stupid excuses ! Could it be your lazy or you just love the games!
Oh well play on and when your old and still single play some more as at least your not alone playin games !hahahaha | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 4/1/2009 4:51:59 PM | If I don't respond to an email, that does not make me a player, it makes me NOT INTERESTED.  | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:32:48 PM | This is how I defined a player in another thread!
"It's simply playing someone for a fool!!! It's about not recognizing when you are being had! Ya have to watch your back and you can't be doing that to anyone else either! It's about having your cake and eating it too - all the while not telling that you are actually seeing more than one person. You are making someone believe that you are in love with them - while making others believe it too! Not nice!" | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 4/1/2009 7:08:07 PM | | Pure and simple, a player is someone who plays with other peoples' esteem, feelings, etc. without being being sincere in their own committment (I don't mean marry me stuff, just when they see someone needy and they express all these feelings they don't really have to gain an upper hand or even just an entrance.) Someone without a concience. "not my problem" | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:26:05 AM | What your refering to sweet , is your not a player . That is the dating game . Go for coffee, dinner ect ... what ever is decided on a meeting , see if you have chemistry and want to continue on with more dates . A player in my deffinition is someone who sticks around untill they get sex and then , they talk to you less often and then poof ......... there gone . And although i notice many women putting on there profiles ...(no Players) . Im sure there are just as many women players out there . Do men put this on there profiles ? . I dont post that on mine . Dont think it appropriate and somehow feel it a slap in the face to the person viewing , just my feeling . Good luck on finding the perfect one for you .  | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:29:23 AM | | "It's simply playing someone for a fool!!! It's about not recognizing when you are being had! Ya have to watch your back and you can't be doing that to anyone else either! It's about having your cake and eating it too - all the while not telling that you are actually seeing more than one person. You are making someone believe that you are in love with them - while making others believe it too! Not nice!" Totally agree with Leeanne !!. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 2/23/2010 9:47:40 PM | You're right, it's not complicated at all.
Everyone will have a good idea of what is meant by being a player BUT, I always to choose to “hear” what that person is really doing. By “hear” I mean what's the real message behind the words or actions.
For instance, you've gone out with a few people and what I hear is that you're looking to meet someone you have a connection with, plain and simple. People who say that others are players or are playing games, I hear that they like to read into things and base there actions on what they read... which is OFTEN the wrong thing to do when choosing your next move. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 4/7/2010 5:01:24 PM | | Didn't players used to be called gigolos?? | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 5/27/2010 7:05:37 AM | gigolos get paid and have no say usually in what type of women get to sleep with them. players try to pick the best looking females with the lowest self esteems or high sex drive that night.
also players are people who play sports or video games. just to clarify. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 5/28/2010 1:15:56 AM | Unfortunately... it seems most people, think the process of trying to win somebody over is very much a game... whether it would be only to "score"... for money... or whatever else there might be aside from wanting to ultimately commit.
Then again... some of those who are famous coin themselves as a "playa" explaining that they don't feel the need to be dishonest throughout their conquests... boastful as such is a huge feat in itself, unaware how arrogant it is to do so when their audiences are often influenced by such grandeur, meanwhile... true love is the way to make this a far better world... not self glorification. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 5/29/2010 3:10:36 PM | | the original post here back in 05 asks what,s this new word being thrown around(player). it is in fact just more weird words from the internet breed. others of my favorites are (big girl panties), (you go girl), ( pitty party) and of course that over used and always seen word that just makes my skin crawl every time i hear it ( AWESOME) | |
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BFLP
| | Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 40 | |
| What is a Player?
Posted: 8/22/2010 2:02:32 AM | | i would say anyone that lies uses or misrepresent themselves is a player if they are upfront and honest then the number of epople see or if they by chance dont connect in real life after connection online doesnt make them a player just maybe a bad choice for someone | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 8/22/2010 6:45:10 AM | From my experiences, I have noticed both sexes warrant the term as being a "player"
a person whom is superfical to their own needs, using various menthods to gain what they need, from as many people they see fit.
Geoff | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 9/30/2010 9:18:38 AM | Being fairly new in the dating world, I decided to research "players". Not the obvious kind of players who are clearly playing...at least we know what they're up to...I'm talking about the dangerous ones I call "Rookies" who wants you all to himself while continuing to see many other people and play them for a fool. They are totally insecure & highly egotistical.
In my research, I came up with points that I referred to while recently dating a Rookie player. I am writing this so you will be able to identify it faster...maybe even on the first couple of dates...and save you a broken heart and from being had. At the end of our dating duration of one month exactly, almost every point was checked, my instincts were right all along, and in the end, he lost the game & it drove him crazy.
The Checklist:
1) Large egos (loves compliments)
2) They do the calling
3) Lots of at home dates
4) Mentions he wants to go away with you/take you on vacation when he barely knows you.
5) Perhaps won’t let you come over
6) Cell phone on silent & won’t take calls in front or when with you
7) Dates in & around their turf/neighborhood
8) Promises you things and never delivers
9) Breaks dates
10) Comes off as very sweet & charming, sincere, caring
11) They carry themselves like they know they’ve got it going on
12) Wont let you meet friends & family
13) Dates are usually alone together
14) Texts a lot
15) Eyes stray easily
16) Moves in on you real fast (may even convince you it’s love at first sight)
17) Makes you feel like you’re the only woman worth their attention
18) Lots of friends of the opposite sex
19) Talks about himself a lot
20) Has a back up date waiting in the wings in case the other ducks out
21) They get a lot of phone calls
22) They usually have to think really hard when you plan something
23) Will try to get you in into bed right away unless they know you are not the type of girl
24) Leaves large gaps between responding to texts & calls
25) Sexy bad boy type
26) Need help changing & requesting assistance
27) Refusal to date openly
28) Words & actions would counter one another consistently
29) They seem to say the right things
30) Protective over their phone & insist you don’t touch it
31) They act like they have nothing to hide yet they don’t volunteer information
32) He disappears for periods of time w/o explanation
33) He flirts with other women
34) He calls you at a certain time
35) Lies about small things
36) He mentions sexual stuff even if you barely know him
37) He doesn’t call or show up when he says he will (unless you are number one on his list momentarily)
38) Your dates are generally at obscure or extremely crowded locations.
39) Talks about having such a "connection" with you.
40) Averting the eyes constantly or strokes the eye with forefinger when explaining the "truth".
TIPS:
LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS (even if they appear to have no grounds or proof): If you want more proof then stick around, don't give too much of yourself, and simply observe.
BE OBSERVANT (this will give you enough proof to yourself that your instincts are correct)
Do not give too much of yourself. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 9/30/2010 4:38:52 PM | I'm going to point out a major flaw in your list.
Many, many items are simply personality types and you're going to leave the impression that everyone with that personality type is a player.
Players are dishonest. They sleep around and don't tell you that they are doing that. If you take out 1,2,3,4,7,10,11,13,15,16,17,18,19,23,25,29,33,34,36,38,39 then I would agree with you - but just because someone moves fast doesn't mean they're a player. If someone is charming that is NOT a sign they are a player. It's a sign they are charming :) If they date around their home - they just may prefer to stay close to home. I did the long distance thing - never again.
If they come out and tell you they're seeing other people - then they are not a player - plain and simple. Might be a man-whore and might just be a very intense man who is passionate (maybe two ways of describing the same thing) but by virtue of the fact they are honest they are not a player.
Just my $.05 | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 10/1/2010 8:13:36 AM | Dear Charmguru,
Yes I agree with you...and I understand all of what you are saying. When I compiled this list & used it, it was not meant to be a definitive thing. Of course each point doesn't necessarily mean one is a player. Rather, I used it to keep me aware and observing. I checked off what I notice is there. Instincts are a big part of what makes this list helpful. Observing behavior, actions & body language is the other. And probably the biggest sign tell tale sign is that they really do have a problem with the person they are playing dating/seeing other people.
Each point is for consideration, not for definition...the whole sum of the points (the more you check off items on that list), the more one should take caution. Back it up with intuition & your observations.
I'm glad you pointed that out.
Lechic | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 10/4/2010 5:04:28 AM | Wow there seems to be a different definition of player for everyone who has posted here. That's interesting.
Lechic , I find that your list is quite large, you really put a lot of effort into it. Do you feel amply rewarded after all that time and effort? It reminded me of the lists that some girls have of the qualities they want in a man. They too, can be quite large. Do people really know these lists by heart??Or do they write them somewhere?
I remembered one lady once asked me if I was a player, and then proceeded to tell me how she just had three dates in four days. It was surreal.
PoF never ceases to amaze me. | |
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My I
| | Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 46 | |
| What is a Player?
Posted: 10/4/2010 9:08:17 AM | After years of listening to coworkers complain about the way men are treating them and also complain about men being players, I've come to the painstaking reality that women are mostly responsible for allowing themselves to be played.
Based on the conversations I listened to, and been part of, these players are cherry picking the women out of crowds because many of these women give signs they are easy targets.
Yes, there are many men who are jerks..... but if you notice, most of these men usually have the preliminary qualifications a woman requires to date them. Meanwhile, these women seem to have the most minimal requirements for men to prove they are worthy and trusting - until it's too late - go figure. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 10/4/2010 12:09:08 PM | Having seen this myself... for the sakes of telling this story, I'll just name her Angela... who everybody said looks gorgeous was dating a "playa" who is a bodybuilder which I will give the name Divelle... and the third person... Goodman who knew Angela as a friend for about 2 years before she got involved with Divelle, and when she found out he was cheating on her, she became furious and didn't want to talk to him anymore... but 2 days later gave in when he showed up at her door apologizing with a huge bouquet, however... a little over 2 weeks after that... she caught him frenching some other woman.
All in tears, Angela called Goodman up and asked if he could be kind enough to go out with her instead and because Goodman thought of himself to look rather bordeline attractive... he just thought just to spend some extra time around her... until she took the initiative to kiss him passionately during that second night out. Goodman managed to draw away suspecting it was most likely a rebound... by which Angela went to reassure him that he was the only person who could make her laugh so much... and that she fell in love with him more than anybody else she has met being aware Divelle was of complete lust... while hoping he would change for the better.
Angela and Goodman happily dated for over a month... she called to say she was sorry and made a serious mistake by heading to Divelle's place to pick up a few of her belongings and in the process... allowed him to have his way with her. Goodman kindly told her he needed to get going. 2 years later... Angela called right out of the blue and wanted to know if Goodman could see it in his heart to ever forgive. He did, and they were together for 2 months... but before he finally felt ready enough to confide in her, she tells him that she's decided to move into the United States knowing he had to stay. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 10/4/2010 3:59:31 PM | Dear Gringo5555,
First thing's first...I'm not a man hater. On the contrary, I tend to defend men because they get the bad rap of being the jerk & being players when in fact women can be just as devious.
Yes it is quite a large list. And yes, it was worth every effort. This list kept me mindful, careful, observant, & guarded. As a result, I left "Julian" without a doubt in my mind that my instincts were correct & he was being dishonest regardless of his fondness for me. I didn't set myself up to be played. I was respectful, truthful ( I was always honest about, and kept my end of the bargain to only date one another to see where things go)...I didn't give too much nor too little.
Although I was disappointed in Julian, I was not hurt & I walked away unscathed. He still texts me asking for another chance, wanting to be my friend, or some closure but I'm finished & I've wished him well.
Julian is the most dangerous kind of "player" because, given the benefit of the doubt, he perhaps doesn't mean to be. He just doesn't know what he wants and he has a lot of growing up to do. In the meantime, he wants all the toys to himself, pinball-ing everywhere, telling lie after lie after lie, and hurting & taking down women, who might not know any better, with him in the process.
The research was worth heart & my self preservation. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 10/27/2010 2:38:21 PM | From my experiences, I have noticed both sexes warrant the term as being a "player"
Absolutely correct. Although I'd estimate the odds being 55-45 in favor of the guys being the players. When women start demanding what they want and say " they wont settle for anything less" it attaches a stigma to us men that we try harder to be better, not just for ourselves but for them as well. For every list they come out with if you exceed it another list is brought forth , and so on and so on. If us guys ended up being 90 percent of what they wanted but they still found it within themselves to be with other potentials without telling them isn't that considered " Playing"?
Just a thought.
I was played a few times over the years and realized that unless you know the game well enough not to fall for it you will always be the victim. | |
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| What is a Player?
Posted: 10/28/2010 7:30:36 AM | Male Player=Sexual Vampire Will say,do anything for sex.Never ceases to amaze the depth of depravity they will go.May or may not try to scam you for money.
Female Player=Emotional Vampire Will say,do anything for emotional entertainment.May or may not try to scam you for money.
Both don't take you serious and could care less how you feel.When they get burned by each other will they post a little rant about how there are tons of creeps,or fake profiles at this site.
Both are simply looking for entertainment.As one women once told me "I was bored and had nothing better to do."LOL Thanks
Both will use reverse phone book to get your name and address so be careful who you give your phone number to.
Popular scams by females are the Web Cam link or sign you up for some adult dating site,Bebo and are crawling with this type.And they may or may not be even female.
And both have a sob story if they are trying to scam you for money.Stay well clear of sob stories.And never tell your life story via IM. | |
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