| Am i expected to wait for him to get out and continue dating him?
Posted: 12/30/2006 1:20:19 AM | | I dont buy this story one bit. Sounds like something right out of lifetime TV. For one, cops do not generally have access to youth offender records so running a check would likely not bring up anything. Either you are ommiting facts or fabricating tales. | |
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| So lost
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:45:01 AM | if you were him, and we had only been together 2wks would you expect me to be waiting when you got out or would it be a given that i would move on seeing as we were only together such a short time.
That's heard to say since he and I obviously don't think alike. I am the understanding type and would respect the decision that you made. He, on the other hand, obviously has very little understanding or respect for others or the law. It would be very heard to compare my decision-making process with his.
Besides, I have never dated a girl for only two weeks and considered ourselves exclusive. Perhaps you wear your heart on your sleeve a but too much. In the future, you may want to wait longer before getting so attached to someone who could potentially endanger your life (everyone).
cops do not generally have access to youth offender records so running a check would likely not bring up anything.
Slow Hand, the fact that you are overlooking is that she is in a different country than we are. Their police officers in Canada may indeed be readily equipped with this information. They do have a much lower crime rate in Canada than we do, and perhaps this is one of the reasons. | |
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| So lost
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:02:56 AM | SlowHand. Here in Canada even if you have not been charged with something as a y.o. it is still on your record. Once a criminal record check is done EVREYTHING shows up. Even if they just came to talk to you. I don't know about the states but here in Canada things are not erased from your record.
So before you jump to conclusions about me making things up i would appreciate it if you knew the facts about what you are accusing me of.
Also we're in a small town so everyone knows everyone elses business, including the cops. | |
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| So lost
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:09:47 AM |
Also we're in a small town so everyone knows everyone elses business, including the cops.
Just another reason why we say that he probably knew about the other guy having a criminal record. Even if he's from another Provence, your man obviously knew him if he went out with him while he visited. | |
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| So lost
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:19:04 AM | | Yeah I guess that's true, I never looked at it that way, but i guess I didn't want to see it that way either. | |
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| So lost
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:57:15 AM | The courts impose that stipulation and any judge would have advised him to not associate with people he wasn't sure of... and is it really a big surprise that a criminal lied about his past?
An order like that is holding person A responsible for what person B tells them, which is completely ridiculous. Just as you mention, no big surprise a criminal would lie about his past yet that order expects person A to see through that lie and be held responsible for it? So now we expect him to be a perfect judge of character as well as a walking lie detector?
It sounds like you are making a literal interpretation of the law when in actuality I believe the intent is to encourage those on probation to both limit contact with known felons as possible as well as divulge to their parole officers repeated contact and the reason for that contact. More broadly it is known as moral regulation and probition. I believe it is up to the probation officer whether continued contact is considered a violation, not a cop off the street.
Clone
Edit: I'm more familiar with U.S. law which is the basis for my statements, rather than Canadian law but generally they seem to be similiar. I don't know about waiting for the guy or not, and I don't think the OP is omitting details. I do think that her guy isn't giving the whole story or is lying which at that point would be enough for me to end the relationship. 2 weeks or 2 years, it wouldn't matter, I'd be done.
JMHO as always.
Clone | |
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| Am i expected to wait for him to get out and continue dating him?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:54:59 AM | | Lookin again: No I haven not talked to him since he's been in jail but i do plan on showing up at his court appearence. So i will tell him then that when he gets out that we can just be friends but not date as i don;t need my son growing up around criminals. I dont think he will have a problem with this as we have known each other since we were 4/5. | |
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| Am i expected to wait for him to get out and continue dating him?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:43:24 PM | You are only expected to keep your 15 month child safe. Why are you concerned as to what this man thinks? What in God's name do you care what he thinks? It is not up to you to make the right choice...
In my understanding of the YO act, when a youth is put on probation for causing bodily harm to another. The probation is not just being prohibited to assosiate with other criminals. There are many conditions such as: no drugs, no alcohol, no being in establisments that serve alcohol, and curfew. anger management. If any drugs or alcohol were being used at the time of the fight(which is probably the case) then drug and alcolhol treatment would also be on the probation order.
Not sure if this guy told you everthing, which would not be surprizeing.
Sweety you should not really be worrying about what he expects, life is about you and your beautiful boy, dont make a mistake cause your lonely..
I people people can change and want a new direction for themselves, however this man put himself in a risky postion, which means he is not ready....
Dont take any chances..... | |
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| So lost
Posted: 1/2/2007 12:29:46 AM | Sorry, something doesn't quite make sense for me.
The court actually wrote an order prohibiting him from socializing with anyone who has a criminal record? So basically if he goes to a bar/sporting event/party/shopping mall he is supposed to ask every person he encounters if they have a criminal record
A usual condition of parole is that a person not socialize with other known criminals.
This means not hang out together..The officer saw he was With the other criminal,,not that they were just in the same room together..20 feet apart. For instance you can not go and live with another criminal. If you are questioned about anything, they''ll inquire about everyone in the group. If anybody has a record..You have violated parole.
Used to work for an attorney..and this is a condition, basically, just about every time.
He knows he was violating his parole..and he shows bad judgement. I think you are worrying abut the wrong thing,,with "whats' expected of you"..Maybe it's a better idea to look for someone who has thier act together, JMO | |
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| So lost
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:12:41 AM | Maybe I'm the only one on the other side of this but 3 months sounds rediculas for the way this all happened..not that I condone his original charges but 90 days in jail for being around the wrong person I could see if it was like you can't be around these 3 people because you got in trouble with them last time but how can they prove that they even came with eachother and stuff? I don't think he can really expect much of you given that this is strike 2, it hasn't been long and he's gone for 6 times how long you've been seeing eachother but I think what happened the first time would be enough to make the call, if you've known him since you were kids then I think you know him well enough to make your own decisions.
You gotta kinda feel bad for the guy that gets 90 days in jail for going out drinking with some friends | |
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