| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:28:33 AM | | Yep, I can obsess about it. And I run nearly every day, and work out in the gym a few days a week, but for some reason, I look in the mirror and go "Yuck". Every little bit of fat or loose skin creeps me out. If I didn't like food so much and HATE puking, I think I could easily walk down that anorexia/bulemia path. It's funny because I don't even notice the same things on others that I notice on myself. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:47:10 AM | I love the girls that gave it to radio. It seems to me women are tough on them selves but don't let anyone fool you guys are tough on them selves to they might not talk about it but I know I am tough on myself and I believe I am just average but would like to be above average. It is to bad people just can't be happy with themselves as to who they are and what they are. Small breasts on a woman do not bother me at all as a matter of fact I do not like big breasts but that does not mean I would not see or go out with a woman with big breasts but I am not going to certianly just go out with her or pursue her for the big breasts just to parade her around to show her off. That is just one example. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 9:14:43 AM | I can't think of any woman that is 100% happy with her body. My Mother had always been overweight, has narrow shoulders, and is short waisted. Every day of my childhood, I'd listen to this woman moan and groan about her body.
Growing up, I had the same body type (weight is smack in the hip area), narrow shoulders, and am short waisted. During my teen years, I had a huge growth spurt where my arms grew so long, I couldn't wear long sleeves. I thank god each and every day that I am tall, have long legs, and have great health! If I could have anything differently, I'd love to have exotic facial features and a face that is more symmetrical. I'm blessed with a great smile and beautiful eyes. Yes, I can work on the weight but up to a point. No matter how much weight I'd take off, my hip bones are large so I wouldn't want to get too thin, only to be noticed for my hips. My birthmark on my butt, I wouldn't change that, it's a unique feature about me! | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:11:06 AM |
do you like your body? Are you happy, would you not change a thing? Were you always like this and if you weren't what made you realize that you are beautiful just the way you are?
No i dont like my body more boobs a bit...less ass would do me fine. No i wasnt always like this but when you have someone constantly telling you things you start to believe them yourself. (yes an ex and it shouldnt matter i know) Oh and the flysh*t (freckles on my face) got to go. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:32:49 AM | Talista, yeah i had a boyfriend who told me...you are beautiful, if you just got some liposuction you'd be perfect....
I had another boyfriend take me to a plastic surgeon about lipo, the doc was smart enough to tell he was pressuring me, and it was't what i wanted to do...
recently at the club i dance at, this guy who sits at the bar and drinks non stop, pulled me aside and asked me why i dont dance with anyone, before i could respond to him that i prefer dancing alone, to stop the hassle of ''aren't you going home with me'' he said "you're the prettiest woman in this place, if you lost some weight maybe some guy would dance with you''
...i told him he was f****** rude and how dare he tell a stranger something so rude, i cursed him left and right told him if a guy couldn't get past my weight i didn't want him anyways. The guy was shocked that I even had the nerve to go off on him that way. And I see him all the time, and he never apologizes...I feel like saying, you know if you didn't drink so much maybe someone would want to dance with you...but i dont believe in being rude to people like that....
here is a question too...why is it men of color (black, latin, italian, middle eastern) have no issue with thick curvy women...why have we programmed white men to be so adverse to women with some meat on their bones....some guy once told me he loved a curvy woman like christian aguilera...i nearly choked, she wears a size 0/2 I think i read somewhere...they kill me with what they think is curvy | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:37:17 AM | | A big problem is, if you are the slightest bit insecure about weght or size, a man will use that against you in an argument or fight...my EX husband did that a lot, he knew i had hang ups when i was younger, he hounded me constantly about my weight, even when i was 125 i was too fat for him...when i was pregnant, i gained forty lbs and he told me over and over if i didn't lose the weight he'd leave me....and the first thing he said after giving birth...was ''you didn't lose any weight'' the nurse looked at him like he was a nutcase, which he was...i told him i lost eight lbs 4 oz....haha...yes, he was a mental abuser and how he got his control over not just me but his first wife as well...our weight struggles...my weight has always flunctuated, and luckily i have height and my weight goes in all the right places...I am the same size now as when iw as 20 lbs lighter...so it spreads nicely...i know i need to trim up and tone up and i dance a lot...if it happens it will, if not, i'm not going to sweat over it...i can outdance women 50 lbs lighter than me... | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:39:56 AM | it's odd. i will never, ever accept an extra ounce of flesh on my body. i feel miserable if my size 0 jeans fit skin-tight. and then i go into starvation mode....just the way i'm wired.
yet...if i see another woman who obviously carries a few extra pounds, i generally think she looks pretty good.
i think we all accept others and their shortcomings much easier than we do our own. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:44:39 AM | | I look at it this way if the person is smart and funny then who the hell cares what they look like I am sorry I dont have a six pack 2% body fat I am healthy and that is all that matters | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 11:20:47 AM | I would have to say as a larger woman the most male attention I have ever recieved with out negative comment on my wt has been from non white men. Who knows perhaps its a cultural thing.
The reason I started this is mainly because I have along way to go in my journy to improve my health fitness wise..... and I never will be a size 0, or even a 6...lol my body isn't built that way. But I will be DAMN proud of myself when I get there. I love that women come in all shapes and sizes and I see beauty in all of them. I just think its sad sometimes that we are so hard on ourselves. When we don't need to be. Media and wt loss programs make billions....plastic surgeons are living "fat" off our insecurities. Its very sad.
And MAPT...I have to get my plane tickets lol but I promise oneday you will have that beer! In my birthday suit if you wish. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 11:25:47 AM | Kerrymh, never think that way...I used to think that...when i was a 14 but now I am a 4.
You never know. And it took only 6 months and I've been a 4 for almost 4 months now.
The difference for me was I wasn't changing for anyone but myself, and not for appearances sake, but for health and for the feeling. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 11:28:28 AM | Yes, it does seem to be cultural. Deadwh*re looks just right to me, most of you probably think she's on the skinny side.
I don't know why I like that build. I just do. I don't recall ever being taught it. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 40 | |
| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 11:32:15 AM | Thanks sweety.
I don't think I want to be a 6 that was my point. I like that my body has curves, that its tall and strong. I will be happy when I can do what ever I want with it lol....kayak, hiking, mmmmm running around after rug rats and being a cool mom (if I am so lucky to be blessed with children). And thats more to do with how I feel than a number on a clothing wrack. I'd be happy at a size 14 if I could do all the things I want.
And congrates on your achievement thats great.
I personally think deadwh*re looks perfect the way she is too....thats just it. I'm not sizest. She's beautiful and any man that told her otherwise is only because of his own stupid insecurities. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 11:48:06 AM | | Aren't we always hardest on ourselves....I know I am hard on myself and when I go to the club....my body is better then some of the young ones 1/2 my age....I'm always working on my body...finding clothes to make myself look slimmer....and I know if I had all the money in the world like the 649 tonight...I'd be getting it all done....Stomach taken in a bit, ass a little higher, extra flab taken out of arms, waist a little flatter, wrinkles taken out, then the boobs... don't even let me start on that....but I can't....I like who I am and what I look like...but yeah as people is this day and age....we are always going to do what we can to make ourselves look as best as we can.... | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:13:25 PM | I have a metabolic disorder that was undiagnosed until I was 40-I spent 30 yrs of my life dieting and hating myself because I felt like I was a failure-yes at the age of 10 I hated my body because I developed sooner than anyone else.
Finally, I'm at peace with myself and I accept that I am not what society deems attractive; but ya know what, I could careless. I eat healthy, have a very active lifestyle and I'm not thin or a size 6-so shoot me.
I know it “killed” my endocrinologist to tell me I was the perfect example of "healthy obese person" -blood sugar levels, cholesterols and blood pressure- all normal; yet here I am at a much “heavier” body weight than I should be because I have a metabolic disorder; not because I stuff food in my face all day -in fact, the hoot is, I was put on a "diet" where I actually eat more now than I ever did.
I have thin friends who have all kinds of health problems and most are a younger than me-so there goes the theory that thinner is more healthy-not always-depends on the person. I'd rather be "fat" than dealing with the health issues they have.
Obesity, anorexia and bulimia are eating disorders that cause all kinds of health problems. Yet, people who would never make a rude comment or bash an anorexic person will be very rude and openly bash or insult a person who suffers from an obesity eating disorder-makes you wonder why.
The OP wrote:
here is a question too...why is it men of color (black, latin, italian, middle eastern) have no issue with thick curvy women...why have we programmed white men to be so adverse to women with some meat on their bones
It's a “cultural thing” because people in this Country have been bombarded with unrealistic images of what a woman's body is supposed to look like for the last several decades on TV and in the media-think Twiggy. For years Madison Avenue used teenage girls as models for WOMEN's fashions.
Go back in time and women who were stick thin were considered ugly, sickly and undesirable because the perception was they couldn't bear children. Wide hips, fat azzes and meat on the bones was considered beautiful, healthy and desirable. Ironic isn’t? | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:24:55 PM | | ^^^Curvesallover, I think you're a very attractive woman and you look much younger than your age! Of course, I'm a woman and we don't count as much. lol And don't think that thinner women don't get bashed. I was in a book store a few months ago and a man approached me. It was one of those days when I was actually feeling good about myself. Anyway, I thought he was going to try and pick me up. He was a big guy, not skinny for sure, but not overly heavy. He asked me how I was doing. I said good..or something along those lines. He stood there a few more seconds looking at me. Then he said "You're too effing skinny." and walked off....a perfect damn stranger! Why bother doing something like that? So, you're not the only one that gets bashed. I stood there with my mouth hanging open. Later, I wished I'd ran him down and kicked his ass. lol | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:31:59 PM | Well Thanks Arugula for the compliment..yep, fat cells, lots of water and my special OIL OF DELAY keep the wrinkles away 
RE: bashing-some people are just ignorant and I agree..you should have kicked his azz...who does he think he is??? 
Bottom line is you have to be OK with yourself and not give a rat's azz about what others think-took me years to get this place of self acceptance. More important issues in my life than caring about what people think of my body or looks. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 1:34:01 PM | I'm a size 14 and carry my weight pretty well, toning up is something i'd like to do...a few years ago i began working part time at the mall in addition to my full time job...mall food quickly messed me up and i gained 20 lbs...i lost about six of it...but would love to be that weight i was then...same size, but i was dancing my ass off twice a week from nine til two in the morning...and my metabolism just seemed higher...i was very toned and a hard body, although still a size 14, I could pull men left and right....i had much more confidence then...now i've gotten more flabby around the middle....but i plan to start hitting the dancing again hard this year...
one problem i have is I love to eat...i love carbs too...don't believe the myth about vegetarians being skinny...it's not true.... | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:03:14 PM | It's odd, as we get older gravity and nature take hold and there are more things to "hate" about our bodies. (no offense to the 20 somethings but just wait  ) The beauty is the older we get, the more real we get about what is important. I dislike what the years have done to my chest. I swore if I ever went the plastic surgery route it would be for a lift and a bit of a reduction. Last month I got a letter from the doctor about a "finding" on my mammogram. After a few more test it turned to be nothing but I swear to god I will never complain about that part of my anatomy again. There are so many things that are more important than my cellulite and whether or not the hot guy from UPS thinks I am fat. I am sure I will forget that several times in the coming years but I keep that letter taped to my mirror just in case I do.
Ya'all just be glad you are whole and for the most part healthy. viva la difference | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:22:32 PM | "(no offense to the 20 somethings but just wait )"
I'm not offended at all, but I can see why someone of your age would say that. Everyone is different, and experiences different life stages at different times.
"Last month I got a letter from the doctor about a "finding" on my mammogram."
I've gone through an equivalent appreciation for my body but earlier on in life for different health reasons (also watching health struggles of those close to me)...which led me to lose my weight.
Appreciate what you can, while you still have the ability!!!!
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:36:34 PM | "one problem i have is I love to eat...i love carbs too...don't believe the myth about vegetarians being skinny...it's not true.... "
I think restriction diets should not be allowed. I love carbs too.
I eat everything still. But at the start of my weightloss I stopped eating 4 hours before sleeping, and if I had to eat during that period it would be green tea, water, and fresh fruits or vegetables that I would have to prepare right before. That really limits what you put in your mouth. During the day I eat whatever I want...included refined carbs, because you have time to burn it up, but if one works that really limits your intake, which helps.
Now I eat whatever whenever. However I tend to eat in smaller portions, just because my body does not take as much anyways.
But I dance and do 300 abdominal crunches, as well as other body strengthening exercises everyday. Looking good requires maintenance, but it has now become a lifestyle. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:27:24 PM | A couple things I've learned about women and our body images: It's really hard for most of us to like all our parts and to comprehend that someone else could love those parts we don't.
I remember very clearly having the inside of my leg stroked, my partner murmuring that I had the softest thighs (meaning smooth and hairless) and my first thought being soft must mean 'squishy' and wanting to apologize that no matter how much I work out, the flub there never goes completely away. I knew even in the moment that I was being a lunatic, that he wasn't whispering tenderly a suggestion that I do more squats. But those kneejerk feelings bubbling under the surface are very real, even if they make no logical sense. | |
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