kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 101 | |
| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:11:00 PM | nature vs nurture ah the endless debate.
And I'm sure the answer is somewhere around 50/50.
Like for me. I'm sure that part of my problem with wt is a slower metablism....which makes it harder to maintain that trim slim figure and is mainly genetic.
But if I tried hard enough and ate well and excersized 3-5 times a week I'm sure I could have maintained a health wt. But early on I discovered the power of sneaking food....I'd get my allowance and run to the store and buy chips/chocolate junk food (wasn't allowed in the house). So it was my rebelion....otherwise I was a good little girl, I didn't do drugs, sleep with boys, drink, always made good grades, ect. but food was my secret little thing mom didn't know about. So my bad eating is definitally what has gotten me to where I am today and I don't make any excuses, I don't think it has anything to do with my thyroid* although thats certianly a problem for others. Now perhaps if I was born one of those people with a high metabolism.....I might not be fat today....but I still wouldn't be healthy if I eat only junk.
Ugh I hope this hasn't completely become another BBW thread......thats not what I wanted, but wt does have alot to do with body image issues today so its relevant.
I also want to thank those who are making this thread a great read, very positive and intelligent discussion.....lol sometimes this type of thing can go down hill quickly around here. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:16:33 PM | I am waiting for the male version of Cosmo. I want to see a man buy a copy of something that says things like:
15 Oral Sex Tips to Drive Your Woman Wild!
Tone Those Thighs in Time for Speedo Season!
What Women Really Think!
Test Your Love — Here and Now; Find out how healthy your relationship really is!
Your Sexiest Haircut Ever!
The Bedside Astrologer
Discover the Sex Fantasy 68% of Women Have
How to Tell if She's Into You
Bad Skin Day?
Mind you, these were modified slightly from past covers of Cosmo I found online. Change the gender and this is the kind of crap women get fed. How to please men, how to improve their bodies and looks.
It's pretty bad when our own gender markets things make us feel less than. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:24:45 PM |
15 Oral Sex Tips to Drive Your Woman Wild!
Ok, I could see getting that one 
Tone Those Thighs in Time for Speedo Season!
No, I don't even want to think about me in a Speedo.
Test Your Love — Here and Now; Find out how healthy your relationship really is!
Will this be a midterm or a final?
Your Sexiest Haircut Ever!
Hair? I just don't see how that applies.
The Bedside Astrologer
Can we keep that weird guy out of our bedroom?
Discover the Sex Fantasy 68% of Women Have
What's the use of that? Some of us aren't normal enough to go for the majority. Better to find out what the other 32% think about.
How to Tell if She's Into You
Does this have anything to do with that strap-on you mentioned elsewhere?
Bad Skin Day?
My skin is soft and smooth like it always is, thank you very much.
It's pretty bad when our own gender markets things make us feel less than.
It's all about the money. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:25:04 PM |
Ugh I hope this hasn't completely become another BBW thread.
Yea, we kinda got off track, there. I'll just sum up by saying that there's a difference between learning to truly love yourself, and just deluding yourself into thinking you're fine because you don't want to improve. We should all always strive for improvement - the trick is, don't hate yourself until you reach that goal.
It's pretty bad when our own gender markets things make us feel less than.
That's what I've never understood - so many women complain that the media is brainwashing them through magazines and such - who own and run these magazines? Women! Why are you guys *doing* this to yourselves?! Especially in this day and age?
Worse still, why aren't women *boycotting* this crap? If it didn't sell, nobody would be publishing it. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 105 | |
| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:36:43 PM | So true lol why do we buy it.
I've bought cosmo maybe 5 times in my life tops, maybe for some silly reading material on a flight...And its mostly for the silly sex surveys. Its full of fluff. But thats all, I have never let it make me feel any less of a person.
Perhaps its because when I as 14, 15 ect me and my best friend had subscriptions to 17 magazine(teenage cosmo), lol we used to read the silly embarrassing storys out loud to each other and we loved the prom dress issues. But other than that our fav thing was to go through the pages with all the models and draw little devil horns and mustaches*spl? and pitch forks and tails on them. We had so much fun, we didn't idolize these girls, we thought for the most part they looked like they could use a sandwich lol. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:39:59 PM | There are so many positive and heart-felt posts here, but inevitably someone loses track of their own advice and pleas for acceptance and self-acceptence, lapsing into that which they claim to abhor.
This is NOT defensive: I'm neither skinny nor fat. But please, thin people are not "sticks." Even very, very skinny people are not "sticks." Even some of the smart, obviously nice, people here have fallen into this trap. Don't you see what you're doing by saying such things?
Because I'm average size, my posts on similar threads have been either unwelcome or ignored. Whatever. I've been a bit bigger (when you hit middle age, metabolism can play funny tricks) and I've been much smaller. One of those skinny "sticks." Just like bigger people claim others don't know the whole story, so did anyone who mocked or judged me at that time (no body issues involved; simply a COMPLETE loss of appetite following my husband's sudden death).
Just thought I'd mention that. And I also want to add that I'm often stunned by some of the people, both women and less often men, who speak of themselves as not being "attractive" because of some perceived flaw. I look at their photos and wonder what the heck they could be seeing when they look in a mirror. They're anything from nice-looking to gorgeous.
I think that's the true key. Realizing that "attractive" and "beautiful/handsome" are NOT the same thing. I figured that out quite early (having a "plain" face and lanky hair is just as hard on a teenaged ego as having a less-than-ideal body structure), and I'll stick to my theory. No pun intended. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 108 | |
| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 6:49:42 PM | I'm sincerely sorry. That was me wasn't it... good thing I never claimed to be perfect, or I would look even worse.
I know that being underwt is a serious issue as well. I have some very wonderful friends at work that get asked if they are anorexic all the time. And I know they aren't, they are perfectly healthy and trying to gain wt....when they don't need to either as their body is normally that size....its the way they should be. Albet one is pretty happy that her jeans don't fit lol she did alittle dance, and is very happy to go shopping this weekend. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 7:00:22 PM | That was me wasn't it... good thing I never claimed to be perfect, or I would look even worse.
Ha! I didn't notice you saying it (and I think this is a great thread started by a really cool young woman, by the way). A couple of others, and even so, I'm sure they didn't really mean it in the insulting way it's sometimes used (on other threads). I just thought I'd mention it, that's all.
Carry on ... oh, puns are awful! | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:38:09 PM |
I'm often stunned by some of the people, both women and less often men, who speak of themselves as not being "attractive" because of some perceived flaw. I look at their photos and wonder what the heck they could be seeing when they look in a mirror. They're anything from nice-looking to gorgeous.
this right here is it... what they see in the mirror is where it all starts
clothes on can be totally different from clothes off
what they see of themselves is so different and can be so hard to deal with
there was a wife whos husband complained of their sex life and she confided to me how shy she has gotten since she gained weight from her second birth.. i informed over and over again that her husband who is madly lusting over her sees her totally different than how she views herself..
then i talked her into buying lingerie to pleasure themselves for his bday | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 10:15:11 PM | well... i told her to get something that she was comfortable yet willing to take a risk with and she ended with a really nice matching bra/panties set that was sheer .. it was a start.. a compromise.. hopefully this will open her to experimenting with her sensuality
i truly believe sexuality/sensuality will help alleviate the negative image we have of our bodies and one of the best ways to achieve is to just face it
kinda like skydiving out of a plane for the first time | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/5/2007 10:19:56 PM |
I truly believe sexuality/sensuality will help alleviate the negative image we have of our bodies and one of the best ways to achieve is to just face it
kinda like skydiving out of a plane for the first time
I truly believe Whitetigeress is correct. Long, long ago I took an honest look in the mirror, faced my flaws, and embraced my sexuality/sensuality. I also jumped out of an airplane. Leap, ladies and gentlemen. You have ONE LIFE. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/6/2007 3:05:52 AM |
Next they had to determine what came first, the bacteria or the fat? To find out, the lab took mice that had never been exposed to any bacteria at all, who had no gut bacteria. Half of them got bacteria taken from skinny mice. The other half got bacteria from fat mice. Both groups put on some body fat. But the mice that received bacteria from obese donors gained more fat over the course of the experiment. They have yet to carry this experiment over into humans.
Mominatrix - you're not fat - you have parasites, just like super skinny people do. And if people are obese, it's only because of their parasites. I have Lyme Disease, and this was one of my discoveries in the course of researching Lyme treatments.
Don't take all of these at once, but here are some things that kill parasites:
Wormwood (adults)
Black Walnut (larva)
Cloves (eggs)
* You must take all three to get rid of all stages. *
Some other good antiparasitics:
Coconut Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Tumeric, Thyme, Oregano, Onion, Garlic, Horseradish, Cayenne Pepper.
Just tired of seeing people blame themselves for something they have so little control over. I once dated a guy who ate like a bird in order to keep the 100 lbs off that he's lost. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/6/2007 3:22:45 AM | Did you know a bird has to eat half it's body weight in food every day to stay alive?
I don't know, when faced with the idea of having parasites or being fat, I think I might pick fat. Having parasites sounds really bad. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/6/2007 4:34:12 AM | 
Fat people can stop eating.
Thin people can eat more.
Ugly people can wear a bag on their head.
STOP BEING SO SERIOUS
Anyone can do what they like in this world,
sod other people, j
unk food,
healthy food,
mouthy people who Moo at other people can have a smack in the mouth
whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
self image is just that Self Image. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/6/2007 4:34:41 AM | Nooo - we ALL 'eventually' have too many parasites.
I know this sounds crazy, but some 'progressive' doctors think this is why we we begin to age and die at some point, and I agree. The doctor I'm seeing right now thinks Lyme, for instance, is behind many types of cancer.
Think about it - if I had a pregnant dog with a negative stool, I would still need to 'worm' her pups shortly after they were born. Yet we don't do this for humans. And we don't continue this with our pets even.
Throw in the typical American 'acid' diet. Add a little chlorinated water. Throw in some steroids, hormones, and pesticides to keep the little buggers happy, and what do we have? - an unhappy host.
I don't think it has anything to do with caloric intake at all. I think people who are overweight have parasitic infections. Same with people who are dangerously thin. I think that's why some people are bothered by spicy foods, too - it's the die-off. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/6/2007 10:39:17 AM | Okay, okay...I can totally understand why we have this topic.
Yesterday, I went shopping with my mom who is overweight due to medical problems. And I was wearing some lazy day clothes from my size 12 days. It was snowing so I was also wearing my huge puffy coat. From my clothes and coat, one could not tell my actual size.
When my mom and I went into this lady's boutique, shopping for me...all the sales associates ignored us completely. Obviously my mom would not shop in a store like that, because it was younger market. And the sizes were 4-12.
When I was looking for a size, finally the woman asked me if she could find the size for me...so I wouldn't mix up the stock...because they were doing further markdowns (post boxing day week) I said I was looking for a size small, and size 4s. (that is my size) They all looked at me trying to hand me larger sizes...like I didn't know what I was talking about, as I insisted I was a size 4.
Then I went to try stuff on. When I was in the fitting room, the sales clerks kept asking if they could get me another size, probably because they thought I was going to rip their size 4s.
Finally I just stepped out in an entire outfit to show them that I was actually a size four and they all Gasped. Which was pretty funny. And they were suddenly REALLY friendly and nice. My mom commented about this behavior too.
Actually I like shopping without disturbances. So maybe I'll shop in a fat outfit on a regular basis.
No wonder women have complexes!!! | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/6/2007 1:54:14 PM | No wonder women have complexes!!!
Exactly. This is a pre-conceived notion. These sales girls should try working a week in Lane Bryant. I have seen women drop hundreds there everytime I go, a whole line of them, woman after woman. Oddly, these "fat" women want to look better and have quality clothing. How dare they accept who they are and want to look better with what they have!
Fat people could not possibly care about themselves or their appearance, or they would not have "let themselves go" like that! The funny thing is, that this attitude seems to be coming much more from women than from men. I myself have had women attack me for my weight, age and looks in forums here where this should have no relevance. As if being young, thin and pretty might improve my critical thinking skills. In point of fact if I were young, thin, pretty and popular, I might not have as much time as I do to improve my mind!
For centuries women were revered for their dignity, nobility, inner strength, grace, and nurturing qualities over their looks, but contemporary society has reversed those ideals and I think this translates into an eventual erosion of the social progress we have made in the recent past. It seems as if some women confuse freedom and power for promiscuity and exploitation, and allow men to treat them specifically as objects of sexual gratification. I don't think it serves us particularly well, as it attempts to make us conform to an unrealistic physical ideal and downplays the intellectual and spiritual qualities we should be cultivating because, let's face it. We are all going to get old and wrinkled at some point and we don't want to be doing this all alone.
There is an old book from the 70's, and it has been revised several times since then, called "Fat is a Feminist Issue," by Susie Orbach. In it she goes into the differences between how overweight men and considered. She goes into how men were called portly, husky, big, and women were just pretty much fat. If they were young they were chubby or plump. The phrase used to describe adult women has always pretty much been "fat" until the relatively recent BBW term came into use.
This seems to be changing to a certain extent. More and more men are judged for their looks. I am wondering how long it will take them to figure out it's no picnic. One of the threads here that irritated me was a woman asking how she should tell her boyfriend to wax his back. Suddenly a symbol of masculinity is made obsolete by the fashion industry and movies showing us men who have been "manscaped," having their body hair formed into aesthetically pleasing little patches. I have noticed the men's clothing section in my local department store has gotten a lot bigger. Suddenly, there are men's hair products, a skin care line... What's next, make up?
Maybe in a way this is the sort of wake up call everyone needs to stop judging the outside over the inside.
I am still waiting for that men's body image thread... Time for you men to step up! | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/6/2007 5:00:19 PM | I am of the opinion that women do worry about body image more than men worry about there's or there own. How ever believe it or not some men do worry about there own body image. women are very strong human beings I feel compared to men. Having said that you would think they would not care about body image in the respect that what I have is attractive as it is.
No two people are alike you should be comfortable in your own skin as hard as it might be you have to be. It is a big world and every one looks at it in a different way. The media leads women to believe that they all have to look like what you see in advertizements. That just is not true, but very infuencing and it is hard to seperate real from not real. Yes some women have a terrific body but they lack in other areas. Be comfortable with what you have as long as you are healthy. | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/6/2007 6:24:47 PM | I did something great for myself almost 2 yrs ago...
I threw away my scale for my 30th bday. I also stopped dieting...I still work out when i can(in ways i enjoy!)..I walk lots and eat as healthy as I can (I have always had good eatting habbits so that was no change)...I just decided after 15 yrs of hating something about my body I would start loving it. There is always going to be a standard i dont feel i meet...so why even measure against it? so i can find fault with myself? Not anymore...its extremely freeing. I started living a healthy lifestyle instead of the latest fad diet
I love myself today!!! | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/7/2007 9:00:52 AM |
As if being young, thin and pretty might improve my critical thinking skills. In point of fact if I were young, thin, pretty and popular, I might not have as much time as I do to improve my mind!
The irony about these boards is that if you *were* young/thin/pretty/popular people would label you an immature bubblehead with no life experience and dismiss your opinion based on *that* instead.
It seems as if some women confuse freedom and power for promiscuity and exploitation, and allow men to treat them specifically as objects of sexual gratification.
Just out of curiosity, have you read "Female Chauvanist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture" by Ariel Levy? It deals with this exact topic. Not as well-written as it could be, but it's still a fascinating read.
I am still waiting for that men's body image thread... Time for you men to step up!
Oh please, don't get me started.
One of my gal pals likes to shop 'til she drops, and I often go with her. Men's fashions, unless you're gay, fall into one of four categories:
a) wall street "suit and tie" man
b) preppy hipster
c) lovable slob
d) thug nigga
Heaven forbid you don't really fall into any of those categories. Us men couldn't look better if we wanted to - our image is even more narrowly crafted than womens'.  | |
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| Body Image....can women really accept what we have?
Posted: 1/7/2007 11:08:14 AM | I have only one body, one life and don't have stunt body double in the closet as a spare..lol 
No one is perfect, not even models, and how we view our bodies and our self image has to do with confidence. The pefect body that the media can give young children and insecure women the wrong impression on what is beautiful.
We need to accept oneself and live our life the best way we can. No one should feel that they're not valuable if their image isn't measured by what you must have & media impressions. | |
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